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No brainer

⁨496⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨Stamets@lemmy.world⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/d2addad2-90ad-4385-8729-fa0b24dd6f2d.png

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Comments

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  • brap@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Easy, free gravel. Become a gravel salesman.

    Would be interesting to see how it appears though. Can I get to just point to a spot and suddenly gravel? If so, charge people for the show too. Just rock up to their house, point at the driveway and boom, gravel. Easy money.

    Added bonus: don’t like someone? Boom, house literally full of gravel.

    Gravel.

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    • Stamets@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Just says that the gravel is free, not that you can generate it or make it appear

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      • TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Still a free product. Normally gravel traders have to purchase the gravel, move it and sell it. Now you just have to move and sell it. Massive profits. Transport fees are for the customer too, so basically free as well.

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      • frezik@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Built a greenhouse with a gravel foundation this summer. Doesn’t matter if I have to move it. Free gravel is useful.

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      • TheseusNow@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        What if it can’t change to paid gravel? Like you try to sell it and people are like if it was free I’d take it, but I won’t pay for that.

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    • oplkill@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      You will have free grave in north Korea

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    • RickyRigatoni@retrolemmy.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      The bonus is just how I kill people in minecraft.

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    • SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I don’t want to deal with people tho

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  • VerilyFemme@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Free gravel is so busted compared to these. Gravel’s one of those things that you don’t need often, but someone in any town on any given day will need some.

    You could undercut every single other gravel business. Even if the competitions lowers their prices dramatically, they can’t go lower than their costs. Meanwhile, you have absolutely no costs on material. Gravel monopoly.

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    • shalafi@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Bet I could retire in a year, two at the outside. Have customers pick up at deep discount until I could get a pair of heavy trucks and drivers, pure gravy from there on out.

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    • rumba@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      If there are no limits of scale or delivery, i think it’s OP.

      cut me off? I’m gonna follow you at a disance and summon 50 tons of gravel around your car.

      File an HOA complaint on me? You’re going to need a bobcat to find your front door.

      Can i summon it anywhere without going there? You know how hard it is to get rid of gravel?

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      • agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        You’re going to need a bobcat to find your front door.

        I forgot that was a brand of front loaders for a second, and my brain went on a whole trip trying to figure why you’d need a bobcat.

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      • Don_alForno@feddit.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Can i summon it anywhere without going there?

        And do you create matter from nothing or do you relocate preexisting gravel? I see a way to virtually free unlimited energy here with the use of gravity batteries.

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    • dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I imagine this working in a monkey’s paw kind of way. First, the local gravel suppliers just keep mis-delivering things to places where you happen to be. Then they start talking and figure out how to get rid of you so you stop costing them so much business. You survive, skip town, only to start again. You get incredibly wealthy from re-selling all this free gravel. Eventually, mountaintops start dissapearing due to all the illegal quarrying going on…

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      • jawa22@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        This is much easier to do the monkey paw routine by saying "you get one free piece of gravel per 100 years.:

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    • mushroomman_toad@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Not to mention the transport cost, and the usefulness of gravel as fill material on major building and infrastructure projects.

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  • rockerface@lemmy.cafe ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    If there’s no cooldown and no cost on teleport, maximum distance doesn’t really make a difference

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    • Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      It does if trying to go through an 8” thick wall.

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      • rmuk@feddit.uk ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Or across an 8" ocean.

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      • tatterdemalion@programming.dev ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        No you just immerse in the wall for a femtosecond.

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    • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Even with a cooldown or something like that, a real world ‘blink’ ability, even of just 7 inches, would be utterly devastating in hand to hand combat, as well as potentially in ranged/armed combat as well.

      Just imagine scenes from John Wick but also, every 30 minutes, he can just ‘blink’ up to 7 inches to dodge or connect a punch, kick, grab, close range shot, move just a bit further into cover, etc.

      Granted, you would also have to be very careful to not uh, Philadelphia Experiment / phase shift into a fucking wall or some other person or something.

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      • ulterno@programming.dev ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Forget combat, how many times have you nearly missed slipping and falling while climbing stairs because of imperfect foot placement?
        Well, for when you actually and up being in a bad enough position to slip, you get to save yourself, positioned perfectly for the next stride.

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    • yermaw@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      If abusable the look 10 hours younger one could be sick to go along with this.

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    • SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      What if you can only teleport with a pill? What happens when you ingest a whole handful? Are you teleposing in different directions simultaneously?

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      • Patches@ttrpg.network ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Yes but they all cancel each other out leaving you unmoving.

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    • huquad@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      My thoughts exactly. Flying unlocked

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  • gedaliyah@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Seeing inside empty containers is way more useful than it seems.

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    • lugal@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      My thought exactly. You know immediately if it’s empty

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      • SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        That whole Geraldo safe thing could have been avoided

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    • 8000gnat@reddthat.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      are clothes considered containers? asking for a friend

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      • Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Yes. Any empty clothes are yours to see inside.

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  • MotoAsh@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Is the 7 inches absolute, or distance apart? As in, could I teleport past a 7 inch thick wall, or just 7 inches from my current position? If I could get through the wall, that miiight be more abusable. Otherwise totally the gravel. Even if it doesn’t magically appear, gravel is useful for all sorts of stuff. Especially if you get to pick what type/grading/etc each load is like with purchased gravel. That’d be really useful.

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  • recently_Coco@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I could do so much with free gravel, you have no idea.

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    • ivanafterall@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      If you have even the most-basic business sense, this instantly turns you into an uber-wealthy gravel tycoon.

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  • untakenusername@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    3 is overpowered, it’s basically FTL if the reload time is low

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    • 0x0@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      The reload time is zero, but teleporting N meters away takes N seconds. Oh, and it looks like the transporter effect from Star Trek where you fade out and get all sparkly.

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    • lengau@midwest.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I’m playing a Pathfinder game where my character has something roughly resembling this ability, and so far it has allowed my party to essentially skip a few fights.

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      • YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        So curious about any funny stories. Like tried to get on the other side of a wall but you’re skinniest character is 7.5 inches at the chest so their scapula gets stuck in some thatched wall so now they look like some kind of hay Angel.

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    • mechoman444@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Yeah teleporting 7 in if there’s no time like between teleportations is godlike.

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    • Brutticus@midwest.social ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I was going to say, 3 is my choice. Subtly powerful and useful. Just have to be creative, even if it isn’t actually that much faster

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  • moopet@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    ANY toaster. If you go to a wedding or any formal event with drinks, you can control whoever’s giving the toast. That could be pretty powerful.

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    • No_Ones_Slick_Like_Gaston@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Puppeteering at its finest.

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    • Neverclear@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Also, anything that generates enough heat in the presence of bread is, in fact, a toaster.

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  • iAvicenna@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I am pretty sure you can sell gravel soooo

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    • absentbird@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      But this gravel is free.

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      • simplejack@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Not when I’m through with it.

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      • hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Free for you, not the people you sell it to.

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  • FartsWithAnAccent@fedia.io ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    7 inch teleport sounds genuinely useful in a fight. Also, couldn't you just keep teleporting 7 inches? It might still be faster and easier than running.

    On the other hand, infinite gravel...

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    • ShouldIHaveFun@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Could be useful, but it says nowhere that your clothes will teleport with you.

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      • explodicle@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Then getting dressed and undressed will be a lot faster.

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      • javiwhite@feddit.uk ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Getting your tackle out; a war tradition almost as old as bonking someone on the head with a metal object.

        Less practiced by armed militias and moreso ‘crackhead locals’ these days; it remains an incredibly effective tactic.

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    • irish_link@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      There was nothing that said you can’t teleport up. Meaning you can go up and over. Almost no effort way of getting our of traffic or cleaning the gutters, fixing things up high. Or ya know essentially low flight. This is all assuming there is no cool down and its like walking.

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    • Allero@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Also, 7 inches are generally enough to teleport through a wall

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      • CannonFodder@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Is it tho? If your body moves 7", the new position of your back would still be behind where your front was, at least for my fat ass. So you couldn’t clear a wall. But if it’s a problem to teleport into a wall, then it would also be a problem to teleport into the air where you’re going. And if you left a sudden vacuum behind you, it would create a dangerous shock wave as it collapsed.

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  • Bamboodpanda@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Free Gravel?

    This one is clearly the best choice. That shit is expensive!

    Start a gravel business, destroy the competition, and create a gravel empire.

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  • 1995ToyotaCorolla@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    The teleport 7 inches thing might be nice for getting through locked doors

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    • Stalinwolf@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I worry about those who are thicker than 7 inches. That might cause some Cloverfield Paradox shit, where your innards wind up fuzed with a door. Skinny folks only.

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      • biggerbogboy@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        I mean, it doesn’t say there’s a cooldown, so in theory you could just spam it a shitton of times and no matter how thick the door is, you’ll get through it.

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      • ivanafterall@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Yeah, it’d be really important to understand how the 7 inches are measured. Like…is it 7 inches in the same way I mean 7 inches when I say it? Or more like a literal-on-a-ruler 7 inches?

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      • explodicle@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        You appear in the closest unoccupied space.

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    • neon_nova@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      That is exactly what I though. There are benefits to this one for sure.

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  • BootLoop@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Okay, I’ll bite this time.

    1. Don’t see any use.
    2. Sell gravel. Become rich.
    3. If no cooldown you can spam and teleport anywhere as long as there’s a path between A and B
    4. Not sure.
    5. Turning on every toaster in the world at the same time would probably cripple the various power grids globally.
    6. If it stacks you could look quite young.
    7. Could probably make some money checking if safes are empty or not. Doesn’t say anything about distance. Could remotely check containers for people. Depends as well on the definition of empty.
    8. Would be hugely beneficial to some archeologists.
    9. For anyone who is unable to walk currently this would be good. What happens if you cut your legs off? Can you fly afterwards?
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    • No_Eponym@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
      1. Don’t see any use.

      Image

      1. Not sure Might be useful, but who noes

      FTFY

      1. …Depends as well on the definition of empty.

      “Yep, another container that does not contain a perfect vacuum. Should have taken the free gravel pill…”

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    • rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      If you pick 9 and then cut your legs off, you’ll have the ability to run as fast as Albert Einstein with his legs cut off could.

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      • BootLoop@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Imagine how fast that guy could go if he devoted his life to building performance accessibility aids instead of pursuing physics. He probably would have robotic cybernetic legs that outperformed any human runners.

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  • FartMaster69@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    You guys are sleeping on 1.

    The secrets of the oysters could be yours.

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    • hansolo@lemmy.today ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Yes, but I love oysters.

      Hearing them scream as I scarf a dozen of them? Not opposed, but seems like that’s going to ruin the meal.

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      • FartMaster69@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Maybe they’re into vore, you don’t know.

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  • MrFinnbean@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Free gravel! Fuck yeah!

    Living in the rural area and having pretty long private road i would be really happy for free gravel.

    Bonus points if i can desite how coarce it is. During winter the yard gets really icy and small gravel would make it better.

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  • hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Free gravel, then sell it. Just make sure to not summon too much gravel so the price doesn’t go down.

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  • doingthestuff@lemy.lol ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    3 would get you through almost any door. Definitely my choice.

    7 though, this would make you a star in the DEA. Imagine seeing inside everyone’s tires, and then you find one you can’t see inside. “Whatcha got in those tires, son?” I’m sure there could be other uses.

    You could run a business on free gravel but you’re mostly paying for processing and delivery so you would only have a small edge on your competition. It’s still a lot of work and big heavy expensive trucks.

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  • Tetragrade@leminal.space ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    1. It still allows you to determine whether containers are empty, which is situationally useful. I’ll sweep Deal or No Deal once it starts back up.
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  • LogicalDrivel@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I want to saw free gravel, but I need to know how its manifested. In a big pile where I want it? Or like never ending handfuls of pocket gravel?

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  • stupidcasey@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Teleport 7 inches away easy lock in:

    Teleport up 7 inches on a generator perpetual motion machine.

    Walk through thin walls / safes.

    Repeatedly teleport forwards never have to walk again.

    Teleport out of bed every morning.

    Teleport our of clothes at night / sexy times

    Look cool af.

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  • MehBlah@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Free gravel for life could be a game changer.

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  • zod000@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I would be the Gravel King. You need gravel, you come to me. I would be a benevolent king though. I would grant gravel to those that need it.

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  • bampop@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Are we talking about Albert Einstein in his prime, or Albert Einstein now?

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  • orenj@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Can run as fast as albert einstein, but don’t actually take the pill. Use it only when you or a loved one is immobilized by old age or injury. Nothing to lose, even if its a bogus ‘0mph, he’s dead’ pill.

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  • dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago
    1. Sheer horror. You’ll never be able to eat these again.
    2. This has been brought up before. Gravel isn’t cheap. This is basically infinite money.
    3. If used continuously, you’re basically The Flash.
    4. Just a bad idea unless you can put it inside your existing nose for double the sniff-sensitivity.
    5. Okay, that’s just fun.
    6. Again, used continuously, this is the fountain of youth. You’ll still die of old age though.
    7. Only useful under very specific circumstances. Also, define a “container”.
    8. Unless the Khitan civilization knew things we don’t, this isn’t useful at all.
    9. Fast as he is now or when he was alive?
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  • Technotica@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Free gravel sounds great, but nowhere is the amount specified, if you get a handful of gravel every day for life that’s not helpful.

    Teleport 7 inches sounds good, if the effect of the pill isn’t a one time thing. Do you only teleport 7 inches when digesting the pill? Do you keep teleporting? Can you stop teleporting? ;)

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  • lambdabeta@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I feel like everyone is underestimating 5. It’s any toaster. Make a killer robot that happens to have the ability to make toast and you’ve got a remote control death bot.

    I’d make a whole set of devices that happen to also be toasters. Why not add some heating elements and springs to an elevator, a car, a plane?

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  • _stranger_@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    WAIT.

    Any toaster?!

    Image

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  • Grostleton@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Toss up between 3 and 7 for me, though the gravel one could have some niche uses.

    TP can be abused pretty easy if there’s no physical impact on my body for doing it repeatedly.

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  • RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Are these one time use? Like you gain the ability to talk to oysters forever? Grow a new nose as many times as you want? Or talk to oysters for 5 minutes and one extra nose?

    1. Become a water quality assessor with instant and accurate data on pollutants, if there are invasive species, whether or not there are pearls present, and any other information oysters can offer about the environment.

    2. Instant paving/gravel business with a huge profit margin compared to competitors.

    3. Depends on the locus of movement. If 7” only, like a quarter step in any direction, kinda useless*. If moving your entire body 7” away from it’s previous location, good for theft I guess if the barrier is less than 7” thick.

    *if you can “spam” the 7” movement rapidfire with no speed limit, you can travel as fast as you can wherever you want in a “stuttering” teleport.

    1. Useful to someone disfigured, lost one to skin cancer or other issue.

    2. Depends on what you limit a toaster to and what constitutes control. If you can control any facet of any device that heats the interior for purposes of heating the contents to a specific temperature, then this is really powerful. Engines “toast” fuel. Kilns “toast” everything from carbon fiber to ceramics to tempering glass. The ability to control the specific heating of any material in an enclosed environment would have wide application.

    3. Spam it.

    4. Catching smugglers? If a container that should be empty isn’t, you can’t see in it.

    5. Get your name in the history books as an expert on the peoples and culture surrounding the language.

    6. If you were a paraplegic this would be life-changing.

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