Submitted 2 days ago by Stamets@lemmy.world to [deleted]
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/d2addad2-90ad-4385-8729-fa0b24dd6f2d.png
I feel like everyone is underestimating 5. It’s any toaster. Make a killer robot that happens to have the ability to make toast and you’ve got a remote control death bot.
I’d make a whole set of devices that happen to also be toasters. Why not add some heating elements and springs to an elevator, a car, a plane?
Yeah, you could hook up a sensor to detect the toaster coming on and basically control electronics with your mind.
It’s so obviously this or the gravel.
Sorry bud, you can only control it to act in its capacity to make toast.
Putting a toaster inside a robot so I can control it with my mind and have an army of these
3 and 5 can be overpowered if the superpower has no cooldown or limit
2, 7, 8 can assure you big wealth in some jobs
1, 4, 6 doesn’t appear to be very useful, and having a second nose could be quite inconvenient on the forehead, in the armpit or above the arse, while being very parasocial
9: While i think running at the speed of albert einstein relative to the earth would be kind of meh, i would reconsider if it is Albert’s running speed relative to the moon
Could definitely use free gravel
Are these one time use? Like you gain the ability to talk to oysters forever? Grow a new nose as many times as you want? Or talk to oysters for 5 minutes and one extra nose?
Become a water quality assessor with instant and accurate data on pollutants, if there are invasive species, whether or not there are pearls present, and any other information oysters can offer about the environment.
Instant paving/gravel business with a huge profit margin compared to competitors.
Depends on the locus of movement. If 7” only, like a quarter step in any direction, kinda useless*. If moving your entire body 7” away from it’s previous location, good for theft I guess if the barrier is less than 7” thick.
*if you can “spam” the 7” movement rapidfire with no speed limit, you can travel as fast as you can wherever you want in a “stuttering” teleport.
Useful to someone disfigured, lost one to skin cancer or other issue.
Depends on what you limit a toaster to and what constitutes control. If you can control any facet of any device that heats the interior for purposes of heating the contents to a specific temperature, then this is really powerful. Engines “toast” fuel. Kilns “toast” everything from carbon fiber to ceramics to tempering glass. The ability to control the specific heating of any material in an enclosed environment would have wide application.
Spam it.
Catching smugglers? If a container that should be empty isn’t, you can’t see in it.
Get your name in the history books as an expert on the peoples and culture surrounding the language.
If you were a paraplegic this would be life-changing.
The gravel one is gonna have some stupid loophole, like it’s one pebble a day, but infinite and free.
Free gravel appears instantaneously at will, but only in the very center of Ohio
Depending on how fast you can teleport you could move pretty quickly. Even 12 teleports a second gets you 4.5 mph in any direction. Could be useful depending on the cooldown but for any significant speed you’d need to teleport really quickly. 20 teleports a second is almost 8 mph
It does raise the question on if this could be useful in some sort of hand to hand combat situation. What happens if I my first is 6" away from your face and I teleport 7" forward? I guess the same question applies to walls. If I can just teleport through matter, then it’s usefulness is suddenly quite high.
Only if you don’t value your hand. Perhaps you could teleport a hammer into someone’s face
Toss up between 3 and 7 for me, though the gravel one could have some niche uses.
TP can be abused pretty easy if there’s no physical impact on my body for doing it repeatedly.
7 has the mild convenience of quickly eliminating any empty containers from search for whatever you’re missing. But really Free Gravel is the winner here.
How do we define empty? Is air empty? If yes then at which gas do we delineate empty vs not empty?
7 would be really useful for those games where you have to find the ball under the cup. You can instantly tell if you’re being swindled, and always win.
Even if we decide that the teleport might not get you through doors, if you could spam it faster than (works out maths…) 10 times per second, they you could hover, or really slowly fly (about 0.8 inches per second horizontally)
Toaster control for sure. After selling my robot toasters as a cheap way to communicate with satellites, I’ll command an army of them all over the solar system.
Gravel can be turned into sand. Sand can be turned into concrete and glass. So this one scales pretty quickly.
On the other hand, all I have to do is build a single toaster robot that can build other toaster robots and I’m on my way to toaster robot army.
Just overload the toasters of your enemies and burn down their houses
This free gravel, can I summon it whenever and wherever I want, or do I have to wait for it to be delivered? If it’s the latter, I will take Khitan. Resurrecting a dead language sounds fun.
Teleport 7 inches only because doing so in quick succession could look really funny
Go slim under 7 inches and teleport through very thin walls.
That’s not very thin walls though. Average walls are 4.5”. Walls with things like plumbing are usually only 6.5”. Teleporting 7 inches would be hella useful.
Running as fast as Albert Einstein would be a considerable improvement.
Einstein can’t run at all. He died years ago.
Hey, it’s all relative.
7 is actually useful? I don’t understand the debate
How is seeing inside of an empty container useful? There’s nothing in it
Could maybe win some money gambling on cup shuffle?
Cuss then you know which ones has stuff
Most things people consider “empty” are still full of atmospheric gases, dust, etc.
You could see inside of a sterile container inside of a vacuum chamber.
That container still has space inside of it.
Communication doesn’t mean you can breed them. I can communicate with you and someone else but it doesn’t mean that I can convince you to breed.
No but you could gain a greater understanding of their needs. You can always learn the job on top of that. Oyster probably don’t need much convincing anyway.
What if you fed the 4rth pill to an oyster thus making it grow a second nose.
What is its first nose?
Bonus points if you have a friend that can talk to them in order to know how they feel about it.
Control toasters, duh. I’m gonna survive the AI revolution
Is that a clean 7 inches, or would teleporting sideways cross over with some space I previously occupied?
There’s no cooldown so you can teleport an infinite distance as long as it’s magic Star Trek teleportation and not The Prestige murder based teleportation
Star Trek teleportation might also be a bit murdery. You are disassembled to your molecules, sent over in a high energy beam and reassembled. Also there’s a mild risk to end up in an evil mirror universe.
7 inches is a lot. Almost too much you could say. 5 is enough… Right?
#7 Can instantly see inside any empty container
Everyone that watches Love Island and won’t shut up about it are now transparent
Buddhist monk mediating: I am but an empty vessel.
You: Bro, you had rice for lunch.
Albert Einstein can probably run faster than me honestly so I’m going with that
He’s ded tho.
Considering how my driveway gets completely washed away any time it rains, I’m going with #2 no questions asked.
Don’t even have to read the rest of them, gravel is expensive!
If you look inside (even using magic ability), it will be predicted and then it will be empty. It will be even harder for you not to look.
If it works like that, you would be in huge demand by the bomb squad and for demilitarizing weapons.
I’ll take 7 for sure. 2 or 3 depending on how the gravel is delivered and/or if I can chain teleport.
The empty part is probably more necessary to define.
You may only be able to see inside empty containers in a vacuum
Or being able to see everything because matter is mostly made of empty space
“Doctor, please help me! I have a terrible pain in my side.”
“It’s just gas. Trust me.”
The seven inches enderman right there is more useful than you think when you can stack the teleports together
2 and 7 of course
Isn’t easier tk jist sell gravel?
dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 2 days ago
phx@lemmy.ca 2 days ago
I’m thinking that #7 might be useful in certain policing or security positions, depending on the definition of empty (there’s always dust and air).
Got a bunch of containers that need to be inspected? You can cross the ones you can see through off the list.
Also useful for winning the cup-and-ball game
dev_null@lemmy.ml 1 day ago
It allows you to remotely see anywhere in the world where a transparent container (like a glass) is.
rumba@lemmy.zip 2 days ago
I think they’re just going so cold, water please, drowning…kill me…
nialv7@lemmy.world 1 day ago
8, resurrect a dead language will make some linguist overjoyed
HugeNerd@lemmy.ca 2 days ago
How would that work? “Age” isn’t some inherent property of atoms.
dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 2 days ago
The text just says look 10 hours younger. To me, that means un-doing all the apparent signs of aging: superficial stuff. Less wrinkles, fewer sunspots/freckles, hair is back where it used to be, no more cataracts, etc. Meanwhile, your internal organs, bones, and muscles keep going with the usual aging process.
WolfLink@sh.itjust.works 2 days ago
5 is awesome. My house will be full of toasters hooked up as switches for things.