hansolo

@hansolo@lemmy.today

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨To yoink is to be human. You weren't using that part of your soul anyways⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩:

  To yoink is human, to yeet is divine.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨funny prakn⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  I’m upvoting the absurdity of this being posted here.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨It do be like that sometimes⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Are you my niece that’s about to drop out of college because her religious BF wants to fuck and will 1million% get her pregnant?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Expecto patronum my ass!⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Right, so no shotguns? Easy. Sniper rifles, no problem.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Join the pledge⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Raise a pint!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Rage for the machine?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  For those who died, just comply!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨thank you Boris⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Is this a “shitpost”? Or a “shit’s going down” post?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Curb feelers⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  My immediate assumption was something about copping a feel.

  Maybe by holding your arma down straight, hands flat out at a 90 degree angle, and when you touch someone’s ass, you make a “gggggrrrrrrrraaaaaaawwwwww” sound.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Curb feelers⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Yes, that’s their name…

  Are the youths using the term for something else now? (please don’t be gross…)

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Programming socks?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Drink that trough of vodka

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨ESL homework⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Боб победит!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨When did it become normalized to start passing credit card processing fees to the customer?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Apparently it depends on the state, or at least it used to. A friend that ran a small supermarket told me that some states don’t allow the fee to get passed along, some did. He ended up just doing the 3% discount for cash route on large purchases.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Questionning consciousness⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Maybe your electric meat misbehaves. Mine is calibrated perfectly to 27.3

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Is it a good idea to use an Android phone as an external SSD for backing up my home folder?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  at the moment

  Get the proper tools to do the job right. There’s no gun to your head making you distrohop, so this isn’t an emergency. Just wait to get a real SSD first.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Is ironing clothes significantly less common now?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  When I worked in a real IRL office, I ironed stuff all the time. Now, rarely.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Sorry buddy, you just ain't it anymore.⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  “We’re a network of ethnic groups, kingdoms, confederacies, and warrior clans. We transcend even being ‘a’ culture. We are a legion of diverse groups. Our people arroved when this land was emoty, and have dominated it - half a continent - comfortably, for 15,000 generations.”

  “So, uh… What’s that big thing over there?”

  “Well, we found that creating massive, highly engineered earthworks helps us with both agricultural and security tasks.”

  “So, just mounds of dirt?”

  “Mou- What? No, these require years of planning, and -”

  “Mounds! Mounds! You’re all Mound People! Mound People! Mound People!”

  “Ugh…”

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I might actually be a respectable member of society⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  You know all those pink and yellow suburban hells in Tim Burton movies?

  I’m just asking, it’s not relevant to the meme.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨lightbulbs⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I love my warm bulbs!

  …wait…

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨This is my 6,000th post on Lemmy. It's been great eating beans and learning how not to poop for 3 days with you guys! Brb, gotta send my weekly nudes to the admins⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Thank you for your service 🫘

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Trump audibly loses control of his bowels during a press conference - via Forbes Breaking News⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I did watch it all, waiting for the huge plop-shart-fart combo. Reactions… Yeah, sure. Woman in the green didn’t hold back.

  Like… Is this fart paradoilia? Y’all seem convinced this is something huge and I’m seeing not seeing much.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Trump audibly loses control of his bowels during a press conference - via Forbes Breaking News⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I heard a barely audible fart… Is that it? What time is it at?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨What is a good present to get your dentist and dental assistant as a way of showing thanks?⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  For 2 individuals, 2 units of something. If they might feel obliged to share with the office, then something divisible and all non-perishible.

  So 2 bottles of wine vs. a gift basket.

  For individuals: wine, gift cards, baked goods or something else that’s an artisinal good made by a professional and sealed. Maybe flowers if you think they might be into that.

  For anything likely to be shared with an office: candy or chocolate, fruit or gift basket, assorted baked goods (maybe arranged with a receptionist for their peace of mind).

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I’m outta my depth⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  “Donnie, you’re out of your depth, shut the fuck up!”

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨in all fairness italian cuisine is a relatively recent invention⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Butter is the caked on foundation. Cream the 12 coats of eyeliner. This is the perfect simile.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨in all fairness italian cuisine is a relatively recent invention⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Well, my objection is to the way they’re prepared in France, not the snails.

  I’ve had snails in Morocco and giant forest snails in Ghana. The big ones are delicious if they’re wild caught. If they’re farmed, they taste like the rotten lettuce they get fed.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨You ask who believed this stuff. But in 20 years people will look at the mainstream newspapers of today and ask the same question.⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  And the WWN was the same, good ol’ entertainment.

  There was an edition with Nixon in drag that was there worst Photoshop, it was clearly two photos pasted together. Hilarious! My mom thought it was the funniest thing she ever saw. But she never for a second thought it was real.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨in all fairness italian cuisine is a relatively recent invention⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Branding and beans for breakfast. That’s why the English get the win here, which is also occasionally called a full Irish breakfast if there’s no Brits looking. Plus, the English hardly have any indigenous culinary variety or spices. Why else colonize with such a passion?

  And I’m actually very much ok with black pudding, that’s not the issue. I don’t like northern French cuisine because it’s just “how much butter and cream can we pump into this snail or these poor mushrooms or a potato that was fine all on its own? Can we drown this perfectly mediocre cut of beef in cream and butter to make it seem fancy?” I’m far more partial to living below the butter/olive oil border. Southern France on the sea is tolerable, they’re also below the border.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨in all fairness italian cuisine is a relatively recent invention⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I left the 5% for pretzels, sausage, and Haribo gummies.

  And Italians also make bread, you’ll notice they’re not on the exclusion list.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨You ask who believed this stuff. But in 20 years people will look at the mainstream newspapers of today and ask the same question.⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Woah now. Weekly World News was well-known by everyone as 100% laughable BS. Even people that think the moon landing was fake didn’t buy their stories.

  Really, who would ever believe all the things Bat Boy supposedly did? Made Forrest Gump seem lazy.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨in all fairness italian cuisine is a relatively recent invention⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Yeah, you all definitely have… 8 or maybe 9 edible things that aren’t beer or curry.

  All the same, I’d rather have a full English breakfast than 90% of French food and 98% of German food. Kidneys in cream, or raw pork crackers, or bread and cheese like they invented it or whatever.