ivanafterall

@ivanafterall@lemmy.world

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨using facebook properly⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Pretty sure that’s just baking powder.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Beer garden ready⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Hey. I don’t think you’re allowed to just go around saying “gimps and kritas” in 2026. Try to be better.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨you can date the time period by popular catch phrases⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Does the narwhal bacon at midnight?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Thanks, doc⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Idk not waking up sounds pretty nice ngl

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Thanks, doc⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Bye bye bad moody, hello phat booty! Thanks, medicine name!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Boobs in unexpected places⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Ow my serotonin.q

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨.🤨.⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Yeah, but also Jesus, also in Matthew, just 4 chapters later:

  “For it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted to them his property. To one he gave five talents, to another two, to another one, to each according to his ability. Then he went away. He who had received the five talents went at once and traded with them, and he made five talents more. So also he who had the two talents made two talents more. But he who had received the one talent went and dug in the ground and hid his master’s money. Now after a long time the master of those servants came and settled accounts with them. And he who had received the five talents came forward, bringing five talents more, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me five talents; here, I have made five talents more.’ His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ And he also who had the two talents came forward, saying, ‘Master, you delivered to me two talents; here, I have made two talents more.’ His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ He also who had received the one talent came forward, saying, ‘Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you scattered no seed, so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here, you have what is yours.’ But his master answered him, ‘You wicked and slothful servant! You knew that I reap where I have not sown and gather where I scattered no seed? Then you ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and at my coming I should have received what was my own with interest. So take the talent from him and give it to him who has the ten talents. For to everyone who has will more be given, and he will have an abundance. But from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away. And cast the worthless servant into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’”

  Jesus was kind of a dick.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨mully & sculder⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Yes. And yes.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Fact Check: **TRUE**⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Cum wit’ it now Cum wit’ it now Bulls getting laid

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨mully & sculder⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Still would.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Title⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Image

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Beer garden ready⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  I’ve heard even thinking about exercising can cause some little bit of neuron activity, so dude may not even be aware he has legs.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Musselman Challenge 💪⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  This challenge is gonna kill someone.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨You can't advertise that on a train!⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  For me it causes pain? Am I doing it wrong?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Mood⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  You’ve gotta try one these bad boys:

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• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨me irl⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Damn, son. You went there!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨A tale as old as time...⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  They wanted beast cock.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The irony of arguing with someone who read about it in a history book vs. you having lived it⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  No, it’s a silly internet conspiracy.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨splat⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  How well must they emulsify to be banned?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨splat⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  It hasn’t been anywhere of note, I assure you. If you don’t believe me, look at my face.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨splat⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  I can’t even give my nut butter away for free!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨SBA #241 Sins and Virtues⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

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• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨SBA #241 Sins and Virtues⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Why don’t Baptists have premarital sex? They’re worried it might lead to dancing.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Yeah, fuck these two.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  He’s a weasly little bastard, that’s for sure.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨SBA #241 Sins and Virtues⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Big “Let Jesus be your ultimate broseph!” vibes. PC Principal, is that you?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Overhearing some tourists talking behind you on the day you decide to recharge with solar energy in the mountains, following the instructions⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  And that’s how I met your mother.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I will not be opening for Ed Sheeran⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  If you’re surprised by my announcement, you clearly haven’t been following my music career very closely.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Whomever mapped this is wrong⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  I’m running out of appendages over here!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The book I borrowed and was reading became unavailable in the US *while I was reading it*⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Makes you wonder what they didn’t want you to see. Guess you’ll never know now. They probably already removed it.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Don't Bug Me⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Also, aquariums exist.