rmuk

@rmuk@feddit.uk

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Well if it's low cost and easy to use..⁩ ⁨⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩:

  Listen, I don’t piss on your hobbies, you don’t shit on mine, got it?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Well if it's low cost and easy to use..⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩:

  You know what is also unpleasant and totally free? Taking off your shoes, pissing in them, then putting them back on.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Boys will be boys⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩:

  Stop whining and get back to generating shareholder value. You can block out your emotions with subscription services.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Boys will be boys⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩:

  Do you think it’s coincidence that ‘brine’ rhymes with ‘wine’? 'Cause I do.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Fahrenheit is better⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩:

  It’s only 121 in my case ahahaabahavajej oh god no it’s at least three hundred i’m so sorry.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Love is Love⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  A comic drawn in a simple, cartoonish style. Frames 1 and 2: A woman opens the door to her husband’s man cave to find him wearing a ball gag, leather waistcoat and asphyxiation collar with the handle of a whip up his ass. He is hunched over, masturbating. Frames 3 and 4: the woman approaches the man and notices he is holding something in his hand. He turns to her, shocked, and the object is revealed - he was masturbating to their wedding photo. Frame 5: apparently finding the act touching and endearing, the woman embraces the man fondly and they share a happy loving cuddle.

  Source: The Perry Bible Fellowship

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I rak 😢⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Homargh lost his son and his jaw.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Citrus fresh smell⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  “the pioneers used to ride these babies for miles.”

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Best Of Luck To Your Life Everyday⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Image

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨mkultra⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  As someone else (I forget who) said:

  Donald Trump’s mother looks like Donald Trump’s mother in a film about Donald Trump where all the characters are played by Donald Trump.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Don’t you lie to me⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Charity begins at home, on EBay.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Don’t you lie to me⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Yes, he put it there as a TEST. A test to see what you’d do with a fat wad of cash.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨No one could have seen this coming⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  This was back in 2023, but I once got the estimated losses from shoplifting from the four major UK supermarkets (Tesco, Asda, Morrisons and Sainsbury’s) and compared them to the shareholder/investor payouts. In all four cases, the latter was greater and it wasn’t even close.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨We gotta save our space bois! 👽🛸⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  New Space Pope!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Statistically unlikely⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  It could also be one person who is having both a heart attack and an asthma attack.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Here's some toast⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  You just reminded me that we used to get a fried slice with our cooked breakfasts - literally a slice of bread fried in butter.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Babe you hardly touch your anti-hunger protein loaf⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  This is like Dwarf Bread in the Discworld books. It’s impossible to starve if you have it with you because while you can, technically, eat it you’re absolutely guaranteed to find something else you’d rather eat instead.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Big Bean is watching you⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Get in heeeeeere…

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Stay Away⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  And aaa… Flarhgunnstow

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨My 98 Oldsmobile⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  but it is my number one.

  You mean your numbuh one.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨My 98 Oldsmobile⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  My method:

  Water freezes at 0°C (about 30°F) and boils at 100°C (about 210°F).

  100°F is about half way between those two numbers on the Fahrenheit scale, but closer to the lower one.

  On the Celsius scale I would describe 40°C the same way.

  100°F ≈ 40°C

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨My 98 Oldsmobile⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  It’s a real Facebook Boomer meme to show a picture of a fifty year old car that’s been in a crash with a modern car with the caption “see what we lost they dont make them like they used to?” but totally ignoring that the people in the BeigeWagon were turned into lasagna while the passengers of the Wokemobile will complete their journey with bruises and a taxi.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨reading poetry by the Han River💖⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  A fork with three tines.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨How old is the "world's oldest profession"?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  ಠ_ಠ

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨reading poetry by the Han River💖⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  I 'ardley knew 'er!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨reading poetry by the Han River💖⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  It should be a crime.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Haggis (Haggai when in a group)⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  They look cute but there’s nothing more ferocious than a haggis protecting her neeps.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨wxyz so overrated 🥱⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Right. By alphabetical order of pronunciation.

  Aitch, are, ayy, bee, dee, dubble-yuu, cue, eee, ecks, el, em, en, ess, eye, eff, jay, jee, kay, oh, pee, see, tea, you, vee, why, zed.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Czech champion prize fighter who genuinely believes he's a Japanese samurai holding his favorite animal the wombat⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  No further wombat facts are nessecary.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Spherical Bastard⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Oh, yeah, haha, very funny joke. Or you could treat the topic with the gravity it deserves:

  youtu.be/xgnuxd0tiHk