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Anon's grandpa does his own research

⁨632⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works⁩ to ⁨greentext@sh.itjust.works⁩

https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/32ded70a-7a4f-48ed-9629-d140fd587c78.jpeg

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Comments

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  • InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    My favorite conspiracy is that no one killed JFK. His head just did that.

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    • Jankatarch@lemmy.world ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Are we sure it wasn’t a pre-existing condition?

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      • lepinkainen@lemmy.world ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        An insurance doctor would say that unironically

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      • AtariDump@lemmy.world ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Image

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      • potato_wallrus@lemmy.world ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        What hyper tension does to a mf’er

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      • Epzillon@lemmy.world ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Being dead?

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    • ch00f@lemmy.world ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      So in Seattle last week there was a man who accidentally shot himself in the leg while driving his car. He called 911 because he obviously needed help, but tried to tell cops that he was shot by a stranger while driving. They asked why there were no entry holes in his car, and I think he went to jail for being a dumbass.

      Anyway, how do we know JFK didn’t accidentally shoot himself and then try to cover it up because he was so embarrassed.

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      • Agent641@lemmy.world ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        My theory is that one of his security details turned around to ask him a question and accidentally shot him in the face like Marvin in pulp fiction

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      • jaybone@lemmy.zip ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Because he was in a convertible. Obviously the bullet(s?) could have come from outside of the car. Checkmate Zapruder.

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    • AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Of course, the idea that the President’s head can just explode for no reason in view of the public, and by implication, so can anyone else’s at any time, is far more existentially terrifying than any assassination plot, so, to avert mass panic and social collapse, the FBI hurriedly framed some local weirdo, and then killed him before anyone could flag that he probably had nothing to do with it, which is the only reason why everyone’s life savings still had any value afterwards.

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    • Zagorath@aussie.zone ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I took physics in high school, so I’m basically a qualified expert. I can confirm that quantum mechanics tell us that this is possible. Exceedingly unlikely, but possible.

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      • Jankatarch@lemmy.world ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        The satistical chances of every single atom in your body just randomly dispersing and you vanishing is not 0. Just a very, very low number.

        The statistical chances of only a spot on your body doing that is near nfonitely more likely than the first scenario tho.

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      • Little8Lost@lemmy.world ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        From what i know its also possible for a hand to phase through a table but even if someone would slap a table from the start to end of the universe it would be unlikely to happen (i forgot the thickness of the table)

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    • rmuk@feddit.uk ⁨17⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      This is why it’s important to listen to the eyewitnesses. Their perspective might not be perfect, but it’s authentic.

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    • WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      He moonlighted as a drummer for Spinal Tap.

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      • ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Nonsense - they were The New Originals in 1963.

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    • the_wiz@feddit.org ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I indeed have read somewhere a long time ago (i think back in Usenet days) the conspiracy theory that JFK INDEED was not killed but this whole thing was just a stunt to push his political agenda further and let him retire in peace (you know, like Elvis did).

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      • WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Too bad both of them had to be called out of retirement to fight mummies.

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    • RoidingOldMan@lemmy.world ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      That’s an SNL joke that made it’s way into Family Guy.

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  • frezik@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    This is what happens when old men don’t take up model railroading.

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    • prime_number_314159@lemmy.world ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      They take up mental railroading instead?

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    • astutemural@midwest.social ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Or wargaming, which is a type of model railroading.

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  • InvalidName2@lemmy.zip ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Welcome to mental illness. Many people are perfectly functional, yet still deeply sick.

    I had an uncle like this. He definitely held it together okay-ish (though that’s up for debate) for most of his life. But the conspiracy bullshit was a consist sign that he was not well.

    And then when his wife passed, he also lost his ability to be functional, so the sickness took over entirely, eventually even took over his body. Nobody could help, not even his children.

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    • ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I had an uncle just like this. He spent all his time listening to conservative AM radio, which he proudly called “hate radio”. He died of who knows what alone in his trailer in Florida and wasn’t discovered for two months because nobody gave a shit about him. My other uncle tried to rehab the trailer (which would have maybe been worth five grand) but gave up because the smell was too horrifying. My dad inherited a small bag of his belongings and the stench on those things was unimaginable.

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      • InvalidName2@lemmy.zip ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Oh, that’s awful.

        My uncle also had very few allies left in this world, he was just the embodiment of an asshole to pretty much everyone. My dad and aunt were the only people that would even bother to try to communicate with him. Fortunate in some way, they’d talked on the phone the day before my uncle passed, and he agreed to let my dad stop by to drop off some food the next day. Meaning, he’d been dead less than 24 hours before my dad found his body. Otherwise, it very well could have been weeks or longer.

        But the house? Total loss. My uncle had become a trash hoarder. Fueled by depression, but also by his beliefs that the government was tracking him (and would go through his trash if he were to set it outside). My dad and my cousin tried to locate some family memorabilia like photos and things, but they gave up. The house was literally bulldozed and the remnants hauled away, it was in such bad shape inside and out.

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  • WanderWisley@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I know a coworker who is an anti-vaxxer and won’t scan a QR code because they think it will steal their identity, but they happily use Facebook, TikTok, and Ozempic.

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  • nebulaone@lemmy.world ⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Early signs of paranoid schizophrenia, maybe.

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    • TimewornTraveler@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      cant dx schizophrenia without more info. all we can identify is a few reported symptoms from a third party. the secret messages are called Loose Associations and that with the persistence of belief in the face of evidence to the contrary indicates a delusional belief, but those can occur in several psychotic disorders. for schizophrenia we’d at least need to confirm bizarre motor activity, disorganized speech, and perhaps some negative (withdrawing) symptoms

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      • shalafi@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Thought schizophrenia also needed an audio or visual hallucinatory component?

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    • bathing_in_bismuth@sh.itjust.works ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      That means anon is genetically more likely to develop either/both too.

      If any of you all have a family member suffering from those you should avoid triggers that can cause onset on an early age like smoking weed, especially under 25 years old.

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      • nebulaone@lemmy.world ⁨18⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Yup. I doubt OOP is going to read this, but it’s still very important advice. 👍

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  • frenchfryenjoyer@lemmings.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    it’s weird but back when that huge Earthquake in Syria happened there were a lotta people with no relation to Syria at all adamant that it was a hoax because of stupid things like not seeing the ground shake (in an era where image stabilisation technology is the norm lol)

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  • TheTechnician27@lemmy.world ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    The “hidden message” part cleanly gives it away.

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    • TimewornTraveler@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      not schizophrenia, but a psychotic disorder. possibly delusional disorder if no other symptoms are met. schizophrenia has several criteria that must be met beyond delusions

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      • Ymer@feddit.dk ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        On one hand, schizophrenia is much more common than delusional disorder, on the other hand, schizophrenia is much less likely to go completely undiagnosed for so long. Either way, grandpa will have to see a proper Hutu psychiatrist to know for sure.

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  • jaybone@lemmy.zip ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I read all the replies and then completely forgot this was about Rwanda.

    Now I feel bad. I think I even had to write a paper about this in the 90s.

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  • SmoothLiquidation@lemmy.world ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I guess everyone needs a hobby.

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  • kameecoding@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Most sane Arsenal supporter.

    www.bbc.com/sport/football/articles/cj45z1yq2nzo

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  • Zagorath@aussie.zone ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    (Psst. This is a metaphor.)

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    • rayquetzalcoatl@lemmy.world ⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      For what?

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      • Zagorath@aussie.zone ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        For every time a person has an intensely strong opinion about something they don’t know much about and which doesn’t actually affect them.

        The first thing that came to my mind is the genocide in Gaza. Jews and fundamentalist Christians have a vested interest (sort of…), as do Israeli citizens (more obviously) in denying the genocide, but way more people than those small demographics do so. Those others are the grandpa.

        But it occurred to me as I was writing that this could equally apply to things like gay marriage, or trans rights.

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      • Gullible@sh.itjust.works ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Can you think of a single genocide? Just ein will do.

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  • maniii@lemmy.world ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Tootsie liar. Was that the whole setup for this joke /story???

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    • Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      The Rwanda genocide was the Hutu “people” genociding the Tutsi “people”.

      I say “people”, because both of those demographics are almost entirely artificial and were created by the ruling class in the late 19th century based mostly on the criterium of “Do you own cattle?”, and then exploited and the split enlarged first by german colonizers and then by the belgians.

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      • Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Just another reminder that there is no war but class war. The rich and powerful will try to split us by whatever arbitrary division they can, but the differences we have between each other are nothing compared to the differences between all of us and the ultra rich.

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    • wolfpack86@lemmy.world ⁨13⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      You might want to read a book

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    • phoenixz@lemmy.ca ⁨14⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Tutsi

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  • j4k3@lemmy.world ⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I’m glad I don’t live in Whales, movies are history, and JFK supports Luigi

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