My favorite conspiracy is that no one killed JFK. His head just did that.
Anon's grandpa does his own research
Submitted 10 months ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to greentext@sh.itjust.works
https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/32ded70a-7a4f-48ed-9629-d140fd587c78.jpeg
Comments
InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Jankatarch@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Are we sure it wasn’t a pre-existing condition?
lepinkainen@lemmy.world 10 months ago
An insurance doctor would say that unironically
AtariDump@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Epzillon@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Being dead?
potato_wallrus@lemmy.world 10 months ago
What hyper tension does to a mf’er
ch00f@lemmy.world 10 months ago
So in Seattle last week there was a man who accidentally shot himself in the leg while driving his car. He called 911 because he obviously needed help, but tried to tell cops that he was shot by a stranger while driving. They asked why there were no entry holes in his car, and I think he went to jail for being a dumbass.
Anyway, how do we know JFK didn’t accidentally shoot himself and then try to cover it up because he was so embarrassed.
Agent641@lemmy.world 10 months ago
My theory is that one of his security details turned around to ask him a question and accidentally shot him in the face like Marvin in pulp fiction
jaybone@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
Because he was in a convertible. Obviously the bullet(s?) could have come from outside of the car. Checkmate Zapruder.
Zagorath@aussie.zone 10 months ago
I took physics in high school, so I’m basically a qualified expert. I can confirm that quantum mechanics tell us that this is possible. Exceedingly unlikely, but possible.
Jankatarch@lemmy.world 10 months ago
The satistical chances of every single atom in your body just randomly dispersing and you vanishing is not 0. Just a very, very low number.
The statistical chances of only a spot on your body doing that is near nfonitely more likely than the first scenario tho.
Little8Lost@lemmy.world 10 months ago
From what i know its also possible for a hand to phase through a table but even if someone would slap a table from the start to end of the universe it would be unlikely to happen (i forgot the thickness of the table)
AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 10 months ago
Of course, the idea that the President’s head can just explode for no reason in view of the public, and by implication, so can anyone else’s at any time, is far more existentially terrifying than any assassination plot, so, to avert mass panic and social collapse, the FBI hurriedly framed some local weirdo, and then killed him before anyone could flag that he probably had nothing to do with it, which is the only reason why everyone’s life savings still had any value afterwards.
rmuk@feddit.uk 10 months ago
This is why it’s important to listen to the eyewitnesses. Their perspective might not be perfect, but it’s authentic.
the_wiz@feddit.org 10 months ago
I indeed have read somewhere a long time ago (i think back in Usenet days) the conspiracy theory that JFK INDEED was not killed but this whole thing was just a stunt to push his political agenda further and let him retire in peace (you know, like Elvis did).
WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Too bad both of them had to be called out of retirement to fight mummies.
WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 10 months ago
He moonlighted as a drummer for Spinal Tap.
ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Nonsense - they were The New Originals in 1963.
JackbyDev@programming.dev 10 months ago
It was Maxwell’s demon!
RoidingOldMan@lemmy.world 10 months ago
That’s an SNL joke that made it’s way into Family Guy.
frezik@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 months ago
This is what happens when old men don’t take up model railroading.
prime_number_314159@lemmy.world 10 months ago
They take up mental railroading instead?
PyroNeurosis@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 months ago
They take up narrative railroading.
astutemural@midwest.social 10 months ago
Or wargaming, which is a type of model railroading.
nebulaone@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Early signs of paranoid schizophrenia, maybe.
TimewornTraveler@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 months ago
cant dx schizophrenia without more info. all we can identify is a few reported symptoms from a third party. the secret messages are called Loose Associations and that with the persistence of belief in the face of evidence to the contrary indicates a delusional belief, but those can occur in several psychotic disorders. for schizophrenia we’d at least need to confirm bizarre motor activity, disorganized speech, and perhaps some negative (withdrawing) symptoms
shalafi@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Thought schizophrenia also needed an audio or visual hallucinatory component?
bathing_in_bismuth@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
That means anon is genetically more likely to develop either/both too.
If any of you all have a family member suffering from those you should avoid triggers that can cause onset on an early age like smoking weed, especially under 25 years old.
nebulaone@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Yup. I doubt OOP is going to read this, but it’s still very important advice. 👍
InvalidName2@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
Welcome to mental illness. Many people are perfectly functional, yet still deeply sick.
I had an uncle like this. He definitely held it together okay-ish (though that’s up for debate) for most of his life. But the conspiracy bullshit was a consist sign that he was not well.
And then when his wife passed, he also lost his ability to be functional, so the sickness took over entirely, eventually even took over his body. Nobody could help, not even his children.
ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 10 months ago
I had an uncle just like this. He spent all his time listening to conservative AM radio, which he proudly called “hate radio”. He died of who knows what alone in his trailer in Florida and wasn’t discovered for two months because nobody gave a shit about him. My other uncle tried to rehab the trailer (which would have maybe been worth five grand) but gave up because the smell was too horrifying. My dad inherited a small bag of his belongings and the stench on those things was unimaginable.
InvalidName2@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
Oh, that’s awful.
My uncle also had very few allies left in this world, he was just the embodiment of an asshole to pretty much everyone. My dad and aunt were the only people that would even bother to try to communicate with him. Fortunate in some way, they’d talked on the phone the day before my uncle passed, and he agreed to let my dad stop by to drop off some food the next day. Meaning, he’d been dead less than 24 hours before my dad found his body. Otherwise, it very well could have been weeks or longer.
But the house? Total loss. My uncle had become a trash hoarder. Fueled by depression, but also by his beliefs that the government was tracking him (and would go through his trash if he were to set it outside). My dad and my cousin tried to locate some family memorabilia like photos and things, but they gave up. The house was literally bulldozed and the remnants hauled away, it was in such bad shape inside and out.
TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 10 months ago
TimewornTraveler@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 months ago
not schizophrenia, but a psychotic disorder. possibly delusional disorder if no other symptoms are met. schizophrenia has several criteria that must be met beyond delusions
Ymer@feddit.dk 10 months ago
On one hand, schizophrenia is much more common than delusional disorder, on the other hand, schizophrenia is much less likely to go completely undiagnosed for so long. Either way, grandpa will have to see a proper Hutu psychiatrist to know for sure.
WanderWisley@lemmy.world 10 months ago
I know a coworker who is an anti-vaxxer and won’t scan a QR code because they think it will steal their identity, but they happily use Facebook, TikTok, and Ozempic.
M0oP0o@mander.xyz 10 months ago
Ozempic is such a wild thing. Who knows how it will effect people in 20 years (it is not approved for weight loss after all).
I keep getting brain candy vibes from its increasing use. (Good movie FYI)
WanderWisley@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Yes definitely it’s gonna be interesting to watch what happens to these people in the future. Maybe they will be fine, maybe there internal organs will melt, maybe it will trigger the omega virus. Who’s knows?…
jaybone@lemmy.zip 10 months ago
I read all the replies and then completely forgot this was about Rwanda.
Now I feel bad. I think I even had to write a paper about this in the 90s.
frenchfryenjoyer@lemmings.world 10 months ago
it’s weird but back when that huge Earthquake in Syria happened there were a lotta people with no relation to Syria at all adamant that it was a hoax because of stupid things like not seeing the ground shake (in an era where image stabilisation technology is the norm lol)
Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
Why would you expect to see the ground shake? You’d expect to see everything ELSE to shake, since cameras are usually attached to the ground.
lowered_lifted@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 months ago
Scrub inland dwellers don’t know what going through earthquakes is like, signed coastal faultline chads
SmoothLiquidation@lemmy.world 10 months ago
I guess everyone needs a hobby.
Zagorath@aussie.zone 10 months ago
(Psst. This is a metaphor.)
rayquetzalcoatl@lemmy.world 10 months ago
For what?
Zagorath@aussie.zone 10 months ago
For every time a person has an intensely strong opinion about something they don’t know much about and which doesn’t actually affect them.
The first thing that came to my mind is the genocide in Gaza. Jews and fundamentalist Christians have a vested interest (sort of…), as do Israeli citizens (more obviously) in denying the genocide, but way more people than those small demographics do so. Those others are the grandpa.
But it occurred to me as I was writing that this could equally apply to things like gay marriage, or trans rights.
Gullible@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
Can you think of a single genocide? Just ein will do.
Canipel@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 months ago
lol??? imagine being like this, i suppose everyone needs a hobby
kameecoding@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Most sane Arsenal supporter.
maniii@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Tootsie liar. Was that the whole setup for this joke /story???
Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 10 months ago
The Rwanda genocide was the Hutu “people” genociding the Tutsi “people”.
I say “people”, because both of those demographics are almost entirely artificial and were created by the ruling class in the late 19th century based mostly on the criterium of “Do you own cattle?”, and then exploited and the split enlarged first by german colonizers and then by the belgians.
Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 10 months ago
Just another reminder that there is no war but class war. The rich and powerful will try to split us by whatever arbitrary division they can, but the differences we have between each other are nothing compared to the differences between all of us and the ultra rich.
wolfpack86@lemmy.world 10 months ago
You might want to read a book
phoenixz@lemmy.ca 10 months ago
Tutsi
j4k3@lemmy.world 10 months ago
I’m glad I don’t live in Whales, movies are history, and JFK supports Luigi
MeowerMisfit817@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
My dad somehow says the Epstein Files are fake.
Yes. He claims it’s all “internet bullshit”.