ChickenLadyLovesLife

@ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨bruh⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  I went to grad school in the '90s and one of our friends used to show up to our house parties with her infant in tow and get blackout drunk and pass out, and we would have to collectively take care of the baby. Weird to think that kid is in his 30s by now, if he’s even still alive. The double whammy of fetal alcohol syndrome and growing up in Florida would be hard to overcome.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Pelicans will literally try to eat anything⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  I just realized the irony of Zion Williamson playing basketball for the New Orleans Pelicans.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Ingenuity⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  My cat loved to hang out in my bathroom sink and he often slept there. One night he woke me up by jumping on my chest and batting me in the face, something he never did; when I stepped on the floor my feet sloshed in about an inch of water. Turns out he had managed to push down the sink drain stopper and flip up the faucet lever, and since the sink had no secondary emergency drain (which was weird because I’ve never seen any other sink without one) it had overflowed and nicely soaked most of my house.

  At least he recognized that there was a problem and what he should do about it.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Is Marlon Brando in Heat?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Shedcostumetotinklaphobia

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨For all you inked people⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Better than showing up on time some of the time.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Perfect Easter cookie for Christians⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I always liked Sam Kinison’s routine about Jesus coming back: “yeah, I’ll be back when I can PLAY THE PIANO AGAIN! OHH!! OHHHHHHHH!!!”

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Even his doctors are full of it⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I had a boss once who went through a bitter divorce and many people at work were Facebook friends with his soon-to-be-ex-wife. She made one post where she described him as “ol’ three inches two minutes”.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Even his doctors are full of it⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  At an absolute minimum he would be listed as “pre-diabetic”.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Even his doctors are full of it⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I can’t even bring myself to capitalize the t in trump. Or the m in musk, for that matter (or the n in nazi). It just implies a modicum of respect.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨logs are for quitters⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Bah, that graph needs antimatter.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨logs are for quitters⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  The only real purpose of the lithium deuteride is that it’s a dry, shelf-stable, room-temperature fuel. The very first hydrogen “bomb” (actually a building-sized device) used supercooled liquid hydrogen as the fusion fuel, but this was obviously not practical for a deliverable bomb.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨logs are for quitters⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  For that matter, even the Nagasaki bomb (“Fat Man”) didn’t use Uranium at all - its fuel was Plutonium.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Why didn't *I* think of that?⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  This is why very old houses in Louisiana had no closets - your property tax was assessed on the basis of how many closets you had. Also, they liked spelling “armoire”.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anon orders food⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  “Long distance relationships work great for me because I’m more attractive the farther away I am.”

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anon orders food⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Istan Bul?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anon orders food⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  It’s absolutely justified fear. For every one guy who will just take it as a sweet compliment, there are ten guys who will think “she wants the D!”

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨That’s enough for today⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  YOU FIRED!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Calm your tits⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I like the message the Calvin sticker sends: “I am childish but have an old man’s bladder.”

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Calm your tits⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Fun Blackbeard fact: he actually spent some time in Philadelphia. It’s not known whether he preferred Pat’s or Geno’s steaks.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Calm your tits⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I’m a school bus driver and I have one total moron of a coworker who thinks we should all carry guns to protect the buses. He specifically wants to have his AR15 with him, with its magical 40-round mags like that would make the slightest fucking difference after somebody starts off their assault by blasting the driver’s seat. I’ve been pretending I agree with him and encouraging him to suggest this to our (very liberal) school board - since he’s above me on the seniority list.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Calm your tits⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  The fact that you used the word “Cringe” means the song probably came out before you were born.

  Ha ha, I never actually ever paid attention to the lyrics all the way through. The last rap by Bush I is awesome.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Calm your tits⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Does anyone ever think the guys with anything at all like that on their clothing have forgotten how to be violent?

  I don’t think he’s forgotten - I think he’s old and fat and has mostly lost the ability to be violent, except maybe to his wife. A young, fit man would beat the shit out of him and he knows it. IMHO that’s a big reason gun nuts are so into their guns, because it compensates for their physical weakness.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨PROTEIN BRO⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  a PE teacher

  The old gag:

  Those who can, do
  Those who can’t, teach
  Those who can’t teach, teach Phys Ed

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Climate-denying conservatives after every year for the last decade has been the hottest on record [Day 105]⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  But it snowed this winter! Once!

  I’m a school bus driver and I have a coworker who is an avid climate-change denier. Here is an example of how stupid she is: she needed to borrow my bus for a run and I had it chocked. Since the chock was wedged solid under my front wheel, she decided she needed to use the crowbar to get it loose and tore the fuck out of it (and my front tire) in the process. It never occurred to her to start the bus and back up to free the chock.

  She also 1) hates immigrants because they’re unvaccinated and “spread disease”, and 2) is anti-vax. I could never make this shit up in a million years. If you have children, consider that a lot of the people driving them to and from school are exactly this fucking stupid.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anon is Turkish⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  This is so dumb. They weren’t originally named after bird, they were named after a type of footstool.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Bernard⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Larry David and Bernie Sanders are actually cousins. They got hooked up on that PBS show sponsored by Ancestry.com.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Bernard⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  the exhumed corpse of Jack Lemmon as Joe Biden

  He’ll finally get that third Oscar!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Good to exercise at home instead of gym?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  I just wanna lose my gut

  The most critical part of losing weight is counting the calories of what you eat, so you know exactly what you have to do to lose the weight. One pound of body fat is equivalent to 3500 calories, so if you can manage to eat at a 500-calories-per-day deficit you will lose one pound per week (most people lose scale weight at a faster rate than this when they first start dieting, but this is water weight loss and won’t be maintained in the long term).

  Will drinking less alcohol and fewer sweet treats put you into a 500 calorie daily deficit? There’s no way to know unless you start recording the calories of everything you eat on a daily basis.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Physicists vs Normal People⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  They’re all just vector appliers.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Cathy, do the math.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  statistics can be abused

  They can be abused, by people who understand statistics talking to people who don’t understand statistics. This is a good reason to learn statistical methods rather than reject them.