[deleted]
I ain’t no bitch
Makes somebody else get him body wash, whines about the scent of what was offered in lieu.
Dude’s a total bitch lol
[deleted]
Submitted 3 weeks ago by moonbathe@lemmy.world to mildlyinfuriating@lemmy.world
Comments
brax@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
davidagain@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Fragile masculinity
LeninOnAPrayer@lemm.ee 3 weeks ago
My friend from Korea once said “I think most American men’s entire personality is built around trying to prove to everyone they’re not gay”. Pretty much sums it up.
NatakuNox@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Ya then look at the military. My dad spent 8 years in the airforce and he swears it was the most homoerotic 8 years of his life even tho he’s straight. Gay shit is so common in the military it’s laughable whenever conservatives try to hold military men as the gold standard for what a man is. Meanwhile a whole platoon of Marines are seeing is Jim Bob can deep throat the plotoons gaint black dildo. But totally as a joke… Why does the platoon have a dildo… Don’t ask don’t tell.
foggy@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
WHAT BRO WHO U CALLING FRAGILE 😡
/s
Reverendender@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Do other people normally ask acquaintances to buy them body wash? This is a situation that has literally never occurred to me.
moonbathe@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
[deleted]CosmicTurtle0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
Which is nice when the item in question is like “onions” or “apples”. Things that don’t have a ton of variety or choice.
There are so many soaps and he seems like a little bitch, the kind that will want to smell each one to make sure it’s manly.
01189998819991197253@infosec.pub 3 weeks ago
I ain’t no bitch
Proceeds to bitch.
SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Your boyfriend can buy his own damn butthole soap
moonbathe@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
[deleted]OldChicoAle@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
You should remind him the next time he asks you to buy body wash
BananaTrifleViolin@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Maybe remind him of that when he’s rude like this. He’s bitching at you for not doing him a favour - rather taking it for granted. And then insulting you for your choice in shower gel.
He cones across as a bit of an asshat.
A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
a real man would fuckin love some bulgarian rose scented shit.
only some insecure little twat would balk at smelling decent.
abbadon420@lemm.ee 3 weeks ago
Yeah, I’m not going out buying some “manly” beard conditioner, when my wife has a perfectly fine, pink bottle of rose scented “girl” conditioner that I can use for my beard just fine. Saves me a trip.
A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Lol, same.
I showered at a relatives and liked their fruity (as in, actual fruit smell, not as in the pejorative) body wash so much that I’ve been buying it for myself for 6+ years now.
kautau@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Why is it your job to get your roommate body wash? If he’s so picky about the soap he uses, tell him to get all dolled up and go buy it himself.
jonne@infosec.pub 3 weeks ago
Yeah, definitely not liking the dynamic in that conversation. How are you ‘too busy’ to go into the store?
kautau@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Yeah even the first message sounds shitty outside of anything that isn’t a D/S kink lol. So many better ways to word that where it’s not “did you follow through with my demand?”
“Hey man checking on that body wash I asked you about”
“Oh sorry I forgot”
“No worries, since I don’t like your rose stuff, I’ll just pour a few coors lights over myself right before I dry off. Try to grab it next time you’re out if you can, thanks”
Neurada@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Because this is a fake conversation
5too@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Used to do IT for a small meat packing plant; would shoot the shit with the warehouse guys whenever they came in for a break. Bunch of 20-something guys slinging 20-60 pound boxes of meat all day.
Power went out one time, and we’re all sitting around waiting to see if the power is going to come back quickly enough that we don’t need to start unloading all the inventory; and one of them expressed a need to use the facilities. I told him the bathroom was right there; it didn’t need power to flush.
There were no windows, and he didn’t want to end up peeing all over the floor.
I pointed out that if he sat down, he wouldn’t need to aim.
“I’m not gonna sit to pee!”
“Dude, it’s not like it’s gonna fall off.”
“It might!”
FunnyUsername@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
i love sitting down to pee. with a penis, even. standing up takes effort. sitting does not. i can dribble off in the toilet instead of on my pants. i can check my phone quick. i can sit instead of stand. pee flows out better sitting down so i strain less. i don’t have to stand elbow to elbow with a stranger holding his dick, too literally ever. the pros are quite good.
the only bad thing is apparently some men think it’s not manly! but im gay sooo oh nooooo anything but that. also sometimes the water is too high and the tip of your dick might touch but really this barely ever happens. I’m all anyways, so when i use a urinal my dick is squished up by the top rim most of the time anyways which i find gross too.
SouthEndSunset@lemm.ee 3 weeks ago
I don’t think it matters, I’m straight. I love sitting down.
Kissaki@feddit.org 3 weeks ago
standing up takes effort. sitting does not.
Butt how do you get up? /o\
YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 3 weeks ago
Stories like these and the multiple ones about dudes not wiping after they shit gives me serious pause when considering my other cis het mental faculties. Shiiiit, I usually only go once a day in the morning but it my crack is itching I’ll wet down some toilet paper just to make sure I got everything. Do these weirdos actually enjoy having an itchy ass‽
13igTyme@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
More fun facts.
Many men don’t wash their ass in the shower because it’s considered gay.
Also 1/3rd of Americans and Europeans only change their bed sheets once a year.
Chiarottide@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
As a cis man, I sometimes pee sitting down but only at home, never in a public bathroom. I go as far as lifting the toilet seat with my foot. The less contact the better. Maybe if I touched the bowl with my dick it would fall off, not taking any chances
rumba@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
Yeah, It wouldn’t be so bad if the toilets weren’t completely covered in pee.
Dojan@pawb.social 3 weeks ago
How would he handle things if he needs to pee and poo? Like, does he do one, switch positions, and then the other? It just sounds super inconvenient and involved.
humorlessrepost@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Thats the worst. Stand to pee, let out a fart while peeing, fart turns into turtlehead, finish peeing, and to immediately sit down with face in fart cloud.
rottingleaf@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I think that other guy was joking and the problem was, I dunno, fearing to stumble when standing up.
5too@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I think it was mostly the fact that if he did go at that point, the other warehouse guys would decide he had indeed sat down to pee.
daggermoon@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Bruh I’d steal my sister’s shampoo. I never gave a quarter of a fuck. It was cool though because women would tell me I smell nice.
DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 3 weeks ago
Yeah the thing about the scents women pick is they pick scents that they like to smell
Whether those scents get them horny is a different question
lka1988@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
Any time I buy body wash, I pick a few that I like, then run those by my wife to see which one she likes the most. That’s the one I get.
Empricorn@feddit.nl 3 weeks ago
You’re telling me my Extreme Sport Muscle Mustang Power Jizm scent isn’t preferred by women!?
voracitude@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Women always telling me a smell nice is why I use women’s soap and deodorant. I would rather smell vaguely like a field of wildflowers, a warm summer breeze, and fresh-washed linens than whatever the fuck Axe is meant to be.
AstralPath@lemmy.ca 3 weeks ago
Right? Dude just spurned one of the easiest ways to get a comment from a girl, smelling like something girls would likely choose as a candle scent or other aromatic. Dude would probably rather smell like aged free-range bull piss “for the pheromones” or some shit.
HatchetHaro@pawb.social 3 weeks ago
The fact that much of the world has defined masculinity as “rugged, raw, and remorseless rock n’ roll” is just wild to me.
Imagine denying yourself the ability to enjoy flowery scents and having emotions just to prove that you have a penis.
Witchfire@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Toxic masculinity harms fucking everyone
TheBenCommandments@infosec.pub 3 weeks ago
Fucking everyone harms toxic masculinity
AccountMaker@slrpnk.net 3 weeks ago
Seriously. For some people cooking, baking, sewing, cleaning, doing the dishes, laundry are all for women and not “manly”. A “manly man” is then someone who cannot take care of himself at all and needs a mother/nanny substitute his whole life just to survive. And that’s somehow “strong”???
Dicska@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
You don’t even need to have emotions while using a scented body wash. You can just go “ah, roses, cool” and get on with it.
There is a legitimate reason to prefer something else. I would also want something that provides freshness in a minty/salty/whatever way. Roses do smell nice, but I would rather have something associated with icy/sporty freshness. But assuming it’s feminine just because it smells like flowers… consult renaissance folks.
funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
I wouldn’t say being unable to buy your own soap is rugged
LemmyFeed@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
A man can certainly buy his own body wash on his own time. He’s acting like a little bitch fo sho.
Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Yeah, “I’m busy” isn’t your roommate’s problem.
Dorkyd68@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Dude move out. Fuck this chode
tyrant@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
What an asshole. This is your room mate?! Why is he treating you like you’re his personal assistant and he’s gods gift to you? I’m so fucking confused
victorz@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Maybe they just take turns grocery shopping?
Arfman@aussie.zone 3 weeks ago
Maybe for shared groceries, why would they need help with personal items?
JargonWagon@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Right? Like does that asshole also purchase groceries for his roommate, or is it just a one way street?
Amir@lemmy.ml 3 weeks ago
Who the fuck texts like that, I refuse to believe that’s a real person , or it’s some Shadow the Hedgehog furry
zebidiah@lemmy.ca 3 weeks ago
fellas, is it gay to wash yourself?
Deceptichum@quokk.au 3 weeks ago
Yup. I scrub myself with steel wool.
musubibreakfast@lemm.ee 3 weeks ago
Super gay, real men walk through the car wash.
Poem_for_your_sprog@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Especially gay if you wash or wipe your butthole.
pewpew@feddit.it 3 weeks ago
He’s not a real man. Real men pick whathever they have lying in front of them
CaptainsLog@lemmings.world 3 weeks ago
I ain’t no bitch
He sounds like one. He seriously sounds like one of those « manly tough guy » game/anime characters.
mondomon@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
100% pure bitch
LordGimp@lemm.ee 3 weeks ago
A good 20% of the appeal in actually dating women is getting to use their forbidden female bath products every once in a while when your 11 in 1 manboy all purpose body scrub, shampoo, conditioner, lubricant, fuel oil, anti seize, weed killer, bug repellent, fire starter, persevative, and paint stripper runs out.
Ultraviolet@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
As a guy with long hair, I’ve learned to just roll my eyes at the gendering of hair products. The all in one shit is made with the assumption that it’s being used on short hair that’ll be chopped off in a few months max, so it doesn’t need to preserve anything. Long hair has to last years.
Dojan@pawb.social 3 weeks ago
Same. To be fair it’s an easy choice for me, why would I want to smell like some nebulous XXXFUEL, SPORTS PISS, or MOUNTAIN JUNK when I could smell like a bakery instead? Apple and cinnamon poo and condish? Yes please. Vanilla leave-in? Give!
Fusselwurm@feddit.org 3 weeks ago
Ha, yes. I just learned this a couple weeks ago and about thirty years too late. My past self couldve looked a lot better.
bitjunkie@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
What an insecure pussy.
drosophila@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
How hard is it to just say “I don’t like that scent”?
Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Wow. Insecure and entitled. Well, he has to go through life that way.
Kolanaki@pawb.social 3 weeks ago
Surprised he doesn’t think it would be manly to just not bathe at all.
Whateley@lemm.ee 3 weeks ago
Not wanting to smell like flowers is some bitch shit.
ThePyroPython@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
“I ain’t no bitch” that’s some strong whining that makes you look like a bitch.
Where’s your stoic attitude of “suck it up and deal with it” Mr Manly Man?
Christ, I’ve eaten peaches that didn’t bruise as easily as his ego.
Pinklink@lemm.ee 3 weeks ago
He called you a bitch. Beat his ass Seabass
surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
sorry, I forgot
Seriously?
Anyone who replies like this to someone else’s apology is a cunt (American version of the word)
Stern@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
homey needs to smell like a gun in a pine forest or they’ll be bussed to ram ranch
frankpsy@lemm.ee 3 weeks ago
Bro Soap. Manly soap for manly men, no chemicals that will make you gay or turn you into a woman. Comes in wood pine and musky tusk. Real men don’t bathe, but when you must, use Bro Soap. No homo.
witty_username@feddit.nl 3 weeks ago
It’s up to him to decide for himself what he considers to be manly.
However, considering a certain type of shower product to be for ‘a little bitch’, seems a bit insecure to me. This is in addition to being rather ungrateful for being offered to use the product
Diddlydee@feddit.uk 3 weeks ago
He is, in fact, a bitch.
saltesc@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
A filthy bitch
SARGE@startrek.website 3 weeks ago
“If you’re too insecure to wash your nasty-ass stank smell off because of a nice smell, you ARE a bitch, and a whiny one at that. When you grow up to be a REAL man, my body wash will still be there, not giving a shit about what dangles between your legs or what you think is or isn’t manly.”
acockworkorange@mander.xyz 3 weeks ago
Who said that?