You don’t fit. Go to your own garage. You are several feet too long.
Original Reddit discussion: www.reddit.com/r/…/your_truck_is_stupid_big/
Your Truck is Stupid Big
Submitted 6 days ago by sanitation@lemmy.radio to mildlyinfuriating@lemmy.world
https://lemmy.radio/pictrs/image/21fd7abf-7feb-4c3c-944d-92e5caa0b6bd.jpeg
Comments
samus12345@sh.itjust.works 6 days ago
Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 6 days ago
It’s wild to remember this joke was from 1998, yet I can swear trucks have gotten even bigger since then. I remember most pickup trucks having a compromise between cab space and bed space. My brother’s truck had two seats in the front and two side seats squished behind it - that is, it was such a small space that the seats faced inwards from the wall. It was actually pretty fun to sit back there, I had a friend who’d ask him specifically to drive us places because she loved that feature.
But nowadays it seems most pickup trucks (that I see, in the US) gave up on making that compromise, like the truck in the post image. Full cab in front like it’s trying to be a family sedan, then a long-ass bed that makes the thing stick out pretty much anywhere it parks.
I’d say “pick a lane,” but with the size of these things, I don’t have high hopes.
Waraugh@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 days ago
I miss my old four cylinder Tacoma sometimes but my mini van is so much more practical. I have a trailer and hitch when I need to haul something I don’t want in the van. I looked at Tacomas again a few years ago and was floored at how big they were, I swear they are the size the full size tundras used to be.
axexrx@lemmy.world 6 days ago
A while back, i watched my friend help another friends mom into his truck in an icy parking lot- by using the Tommy gate as an elevator to get her the 2.5’ up to the other trucks door.
TBF, at least both actually use their trucks for work. Tommy gate is a stone mason and thw other guy I regularly see hauling trees to plant for landscaping.
notwhoyouthink@lemmy.zip 5 days ago
Can you name the truck with four wheel drive,
smells like a steak and seats thirty-five…Canyonero! Canyonero!
Well, it goes real slow with the hammer down,
It’s the country-fried truck endorsed by a clown!Canyonero! (Yah!) Canyonero!\
(Insert small print fast voice) The Federal Highway commission has ruled the
Canyonero unsafe for highway or city driving.Canyonero!
12 yards long, 2 lanes wide,
65 tons of American Pride!Canyonero! Canyonero!
Top of the line in utility sports,
Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts!Canyonero! Canyonero! (Yah!)
She blinds everybody with her super high beams,
She’s a squirrel crushing, deer smacking, driving machine!Canyonero!-oh woah, Canyonero! (Yah!)
Drive Canyonero!
Woah Canyonero!
Woah!
Drusas@fedia.io 6 days ago
I really think driving these things around should only be legal for work purposes.
FireRetardant@lemmy.world 6 days ago
The loophole is many who own their own trades business still drive them for personal uses because they can’t afford (don’t want) another car.
CalcProgrammer1@lemmy.today 6 days ago
If only the people who drove them for legitimate work purposes owned them, even as their only vehicle, it would be a huge number off the roads.
MML@sh.itjust.works 6 days ago
Yes very specifically had one modified to fit the height of loading docks with a hydraulic gate, to move heavy ass things and a crew of workers, maybe in some cases another vehicle would make sense but we had to get equipment to some pretty remote places as well. Of course one of our employees took it home everyday to do burnouts or whatever. To a certain extent cops are more lenient to a commercial vehicle.
DiarrheaSommelier@lemmy.ca 6 days ago
If they used a functional and efficient (and way less expensive) van instead of a pickup for their trade, the ownership and fuel savings would more than pay for a reasonable car to use as a car.
DiarrheaSommelier@lemmy.ca 6 days ago
They should require a commercial license, have hardware speed limiters, be restricted to only the right lane of the highway, and require biannual safety inspections. You want to cosplay as a trucker, you get to live by trucker rules.
freebee@sh.itjust.works 5 days ago
Don’t forget obligated resting times!
vk6flab@lemmy.radio 6 days ago
I think that it’s going to take societal change to stop this from being the norm. In Australia there was a road safety campaign with the slogan:
“Speeding. No one thinks big of you.”
It essentially compared speeding with having a small penis, by using the metaphor of a wiggling pinkie, and thus embarrassing perpetrators.
In other words, it needs to become uncool to drive such a massive vehicle. Perhaps “The bigger the trick, the smaller the …”
auzy1@lemmy.world 6 days ago
Here in Australia, a ram 1500 nearly hit me on my bike by going the wrong way around a roundabout too. They didn’t even slow down to check.
I slammed my brake and swerved.
If they can’t even successfully navigate a right hand turn on a roundabout, they shouldn’t be here. And the drivers park and drive them at a lower standard, instead of higher too
auzy1@lemmy.world 6 days ago
Also, I actually drive a Jeep Unlimited (which is actually a fairly big car). And yet, never had an issue fitting into any of these spots. I’ve literally seen though ute drivers who pull into a spot badly, and not even try to fix the issue. Considering buying some stickers to throw on their windscreen.
Clutter@sh.itjust.works 6 days ago
Only a cuck, drives a truck.
Something like that?
betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 6 days ago
Speeding. No one thinks big of you.
The automatic linking feature breaks with a URL ending in a period.
vk6flab@lemmy.radio 6 days ago
Thank you, fixed.
lena@gregtech.eu 5 days ago
The bigger the trick, the smaller the …
bad news for Halloween fans
ltxrtquq@lemmy.ml 6 days ago
Wikipedia does not have an article with this exact name.
Did you mean: Speeding. No one thinks big of you.?
I think you wanted that second period.
vk6flab@lemmy.radio 6 days ago
Not sure what you mean. When I click the link on my post, it goes to where I intended. Note that I removed an errant period at the end of the URL about an hour ago.
Bubbaonthebeach@lemmy.ca 6 days ago
I don’t think that will work. The comparison has been made but doesn’t seem to phase people. I think IED might be only the solution, since the people who drive these don’t seem to care in the least that they are a lethal danger to everyone in a smaller vehicle/on a bike/pedestrian.
Pika@sh.itjust.works 6 days ago
my aunt used to seek out parking garages that either were proactive at ticketing vehicles that were sticking way out like that, or had a lowered roof at the front to prevent larger vehicles in the first place. She said she was surprised that they existed but said it made actually navigating it so much easier.
Drusas@fedia.io 6 days ago
It's really bad where I live, in Seattle. The vast, vast majority of parking spots are compact (even the ones not labeled as such). And you've got these and giant SUVs making it hard to park and, even moreso, get in and out of a regular car.
Allero@lemmy.today 6 days ago
Seen one recently. Don’t know how it is in Americas, but for the rest of the world this is unnecessarily, stupidly, obscenely big. It doesn’t fit anywhere, it consumes fuel in barrels, visibility is near zero, the pickup format is extremely impractical for everyday use. This is a climate-churning, people-pressing machine that makes 0 sense.
TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 days ago
There’s only one reason for having this truck: micropenis compensation.
PagPag@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Eh, unless you need to haul heavy equipment. Damn, Lemmy is worst than Reddit when it comes to these things.
Not sure if it’s mostly kids or just naive adults.
innermachine@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Does the rest of the world never need to move around equipment or trailers? In America these are every bit as useful as whatever country your from lol. Most of the time people here use them as daily drivers which is obscene but if it’s a business truck a big diesel can be more than necessary. A gas 4 cyl Tacoma is NOT pulling near half what a 2 ton chassy with a diesel V8 can
Ricaz@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 days ago
When normal people need to move stuff, they attach a trailer to their normal-sized car.
Even the car in the foreground is considered large in my country.
PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 5 days ago
Yes the rest of the world needs to move around equipment and trailers. And they can do it without obscene trucks like this lol.
What makes America so incompetent that they need a truck like this to do it?
Digestive_Biscuit@feddit.uk 5 days ago
I saw a lifted oversized pickup in my town in the UK. It was hilarious. Like this one it was long, way bigger than those big Fords which are becoming more common here. And lifted. It also made a big brrr noise.
JayJay@lemmy.world 6 days ago
Id say the pickup is just fine. Its these borderline semi trucks that are not. Ill take an old nissan or toyota truck any day and it’ll do what i need it for. This is just a “big” dick truck.
Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 5 days ago
this looks like the micropenis ones, small bed by a massive 4 door front.
mattyroses@lemmy.today 5 days ago
in almost all cases, a van is a better working vehicle
Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 5 days ago
have had my taco for 18 years and parts availability is starting to be an egg hunt, but i aint trashing it just yet. ive done as much or more work with mini me, than any coca cola cowboy
Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 5 days ago
this one looks lifted too.
LogicalDrivel@sopuli.xyz 6 days ago
Remember when Hummer came out with a consumer SUV back in the early 90s? I remember thinking they were gigantic and too big for the roads/parking spots. Quick search tells me the wheel base was 130inches (3.3m or 10.8ft). Here it is completely in a parking spot.
Image
A modern F250 supercab with an 8-foot bed is 175.9in (4.5m / 14.7ft). A 6.75-foot bed, the wheelbase is 147.8in (3.75m / 12.3ft). I wish we could go back to the days of the Hummer…ramenshaman@lemmy.world 6 days ago
I can’t help but think the H1 is fucking cool. They’re not that long but they are W I D E.
FordBeeblebrox@lemmy.world 6 days ago
Leg room is shit in the humvee if you’re tall but they’re beefy bois that can crawl through damn near anything.
Holyginz@lemmy.world 6 days ago
Would cost an absolute fortune to fill with gas these days lol
TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 days ago
I wish we could go back to the days of the Hummer…
I wish there was a size max for cars where even the hummer would not be allowed on the road. Cars like pickup trucks and SUV’s increase danger for others. It would be better if there was more public transportation and less cars, and the only cars out there are just plain cars and vans for delivery / mechanic services etc. Because why should other people have a higher risk of dying just because someone has a micropenis?
Aceticon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 days ago
“Normal” SUVs are something like 70% more likely to kill the pedestrian in a collision with one that cars like sedans.
SUVs are anti-social cars.
kossa@feddit.org 5 days ago
why should other people have a higher risk of dying just because someone has a micropenis?
Always has been. These days this just also enables “normal people” with micropenis to endanger their fellow citizens.
But micropenises basically, in all of history, sent other people to their deaths. Be it war, starvation, ouher generic atrocities, you name it.
I feel micropenis is a metaphor for something else here.
axexrx@lemmy.world 6 days ago
I remember when they first came out, someone tried to take an H2 down this narrow one way brick road with high curbs in our town, and managed to wedge himself in between the curbs completely stuck, threatening to shed his sideways if he went forward of backwards
BackgrndNoize@lemmy.world 6 days ago
LoL nice I would have just stood there and laughed at that loser
Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 5 days ago
then it catered to SOCCER mom types, which were made absurdly large.
Maggoty@lemmy.world 6 days ago
The actual HMMWV is actually a pretty cool and reasonable vehicle for medium utility tasks and off roading. What the Hummer became and what passes for consumer light trucks is ridiculous.
HugeNerd@lemmy.ca 6 days ago
It’s an old geezer’s car compared to a stadium super truck, if they were street legal…
DiarrheaSommelier@lemmy.ca 6 days ago
My neighbour used to park his truck sticking way out like that, but it wasn’t all the way back in the spot.
I left a note on it saying: “It’s not as big as you think it is, you have to put it all the way in.”
From then on it was parked properly.
Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world 6 days ago
I too would retell that anecdote at every opportunity.
Svamp@lemmy.world 5 days ago
What is even the point of these, from what i seen the truck bed does not seem that much bigger if at all then a normal pickup truck?
ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Cosplaying as a “real worker”.
AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 5 days ago
The bed is like the truck balls, it’s only there for manly affirmation, but really serves no practical purpose.
Thebeardedsinglemalt@lemmy.world 5 days ago
In the south, trucks like that are practically a status symbol. Lift kit, knotted tires (bald within a year because they only drive it on paved roads), expensive ass brush guard with a winch that’s never been used, spray in bedliner with big diamond plate bed box, pristine multi-trailer hitch, Yeti/Browning/fjb/FAFO/tbl/wE tHe PeOpLe decal on the window along with whatever big football college they never went to…
The most they’ve ever hauled on it is groceries, and the dirtiest it ever gets is when it rains. If any mud get on it for any reason they leave it on for as long as possible
innermachine@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Big diesel crew cab rigs are for towing trailers while hauling a crew. Think land scaping, construction etc.not too useful for the average joe using it as a Honda civic but for the right business they are exactly what you need.
FireRetardant@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Even then, most companies would be better off running 2 trucks and ssets of equipment rather than 1 big truck hauling everyone and everything… It would cost a bit more than one big truck but significantly improve operational flexibility.
ITGuyLevi@programming.dev 5 days ago
I’d personally hate to use one of these for any of those jobs, I’d need a ladder to get the fucking ladder out of the bed. Ignore me, I’m just getting old and confused as to why the truck keeps getting bigger, but the bed keeps getting smaller. Even a shitbox from 1995 has a full 8 foot bed but for some damn reason, now they are almost impossible to find.
0x0@lemmy.zip 5 days ago
What’s worse is that lack of visibility kills and the engine bay is mostly empty space (see the outro in the video).
DrunkAnRoot@sh.itjust.works 5 days ago
normally youd get more torque because its a bigger engine but this dudes truck in the city so theres actually no point but the point is so you can pull stuff out of mud or tow your tractor or somthin on your farm
imetators@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 days ago
rumba@lemmy.zip 5 days ago
It’s a 5 seat sedan with a bed they don’t use. the point is they want to look mean
Blaster_M@lemmy.world 6 days ago
emotional support truck
Aceticon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 days ago
Clearly a Penis Compensation Device.
Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca 6 days ago
And these assholes usually the first to whine about how expensive gas is.
taiyang@lemmy.world 6 days ago
Only silver lining of gas going to is including these guys are paying even more to drive that ugly pos. Not worth everything else going up in price, though.
(I think that’s f250 according to the side, but a 6.7 diesel? $7.50 is the rate for diesel around here and it’s got something like 13 to 14mpg real world stats so lol.)
Netrunner@programming.dev 5 days ago
One of the few moments where I’m glad gas is insanely pricey.
Xanthrax@lemmy.world 6 days ago
ThePowerOfGeek@lemmy.world 6 days ago
But how else is he supposed to convince himself he’s not an insecure, emotionally stunted man-child?!
anon_8675309@lemmy.world 6 days ago
And they fucking insist on parking in the front of places. You can drive a piece of shit like that but you can’t walk from the back of the lot? Lazy little dick.
islandcoda42@lemmy.zip 6 days ago
Costs $22 worth of gas just to start it up
blattrules@lemmy.world 6 days ago
They also can never find their signals and are by far the most aggressive drivers on the road.
aramis87@fedia.io 6 days ago
There should be an oversized vehicle parking area in the most inconvenient section of the garage, and if your vehicle is too big, you have to go park there.
Mpatch@lemmy.world 6 days ago
Now if you all could see the uncut picture you probably would see that he’s got something in the back of the truck provably preventing him from backing up. This truck also is a base model work package. Steel rims steel bumper, white… could it be possible it’s a contractor forced to work in some shit hole condominium? Or is loading/ unloading something at that moment? Yall a fucking bunch of stupid. The good stupid you mind.
Gammelfisch@lemmy.world 6 days ago
Another reason why I like the European vehicle weight and speed restrictions, especially with a damn trailer. If the gross weight of a vehicle is over 3.5 metric tons (7700 lbs) you are limited to 80 km/h (50 mph). Depending on the version and/or the load, your Ford F-250 is in the right lane with the rest of the trucks and trailers. Any sort of modifications, like raising the damn truck, requires a thorough technical inspection.
betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world 6 days ago
The US government classifies it as 8 tanks.
melsaskca@lemmy.ca 5 days ago
I blame the truck manufacturers more than the poor, deluded shlubs who buy them. There used to be standards in the industry but “big” costs more so they make more money (initially…while pricing a whole class of citizens out of the market).
theblurstoftimes@leminal.space 6 days ago
Poor sand into the gas tank
HeroicBillyBishop@lemmy.ca 5 days ago
Stop hating the plebes
Where are the pictures of the predator elite classes’ private jets?
Etterra@discuss.online 6 days ago
Remember kids, the owner of the parking lot is not responsible for any damage or theft. Something that big is just a damage magnet, and that’s just accidents.
azimir@lemmy.ml 6 days ago
These stupid vehicles and ones that are noisy for the sake of being noisy have one root element: attention. They’re designed to force you to pay attention to the owner. Admittedly it’s for negative attention, but still it’s a cry for help.
Too many people grow up where the only attention they can get is negative. Since humans crave any attention, they’ll seek it any way they know how. We’d rather get positive attention, but if you don’t have a source or tools to get it you’ll go negative in desperation.
I hate that these vehicles are designed to hurt people and they’re often on the road because the owner doesn’t know how to get attention any other way.
IAMgROOT@lemmy.wtf 6 days ago
car racism why :(
MedicPigBabySaver@lemmy.world 6 days ago
Fuck Reddit and Fuck Spez.
Thorry@feddit.org 6 days ago
Fuck these big ass trucks, should be illegal!
tacocollector2@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 days ago
They should reduce the height on parking garages to exclude them.
SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 6 days ago
They have a steel beam barrier at 6’2" at the entrance to my hospital parking and some broski rams into it every week.
Thorry@feddit.org 6 days ago
Agreed, but that’s probably an issue for fire safety. There’s probably some regulation that mandates a minimum height.
anomnom@sh.itjust.works 6 days ago
Just let the air out of the tires so they dont have to worry about scraping.
Also I have a tiny old but tall van, it’s exactly 15 feet long and narrower than most modern compact cars, but it’s over 6 ft tall. It does fit in most parking decks, and never sticks out of the spot.