betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
- Comment on Is there a way I can become Baptized a Catholic without going to school or memorizing all the saints I am 37? Always thought it would be an honor to be Catholic. Like being knighted. 1 hour ago:
Just dunk your head in the bath and pretend it’s a crusty old virgin (altar boys don’t count!) holding you there. No need to bother with the rest of it.
- Comment on Can I offer you some cocks in these trying times? 13 hours ago:
Just what my militia and I were missing for our Oregonian wildlife refuge takeover.
- Comment on ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ at the Cannes and Venice Film Festivals. There was a standing ovation. 22 hours ago:
Toilet rail of Ivermectin.
- Comment on pegging order 1 day ago:
- Comment on Doing the Lord's work. 1 day ago:
I don’t think it’s any better, just that it’s part of the standard playbook. Up there with the unnecessary red circle and arrow pointing at nothing.
- Comment on Doing the Lord's work. 1 day ago:
Understands engagement bait
- Comment on I might shit my pants just a little if I saw this 2 days ago:
Then you start hiding real bodies once people get used to the trend.
- Comment on What's the best way to tell a kid that their dog died? 2 days ago:
Give the gift of never having to wonder what to talk about in therapy.
- Comment on Do you speak my language? 2 days ago:
He just smiled and gave me a Vegemite sandwich.
- Comment on What's the best way to tell a kid that their dog died? 2 days ago:
Everyone with a live dog, raise your hand!
Sally, put your hand down.
- Comment on they are literally hanging our tax dollars right over our heads 3 days ago:
Private not for hire traveling all rights reserved!
- Comment on Dead inside 3 days ago:
The voice actor for Ace should have some free time soon, maybe they can bring him back to do some more of those.
- Comment on Which 2 AmeriKKKa vassal states will face off in the ultimate showdown! 3 days ago:
Take a little more pride in your work. Just because it’s a shitpost doesn’t mean it has to be a shit post.
- Comment on Dead inside 3 days ago:
Nobody knows what’s beyond the Door of Ambiguity (if that’s even the real one).
- Comment on Open Carry Loophole 3 days ago:
He’s going out to get revenge on the guy who shot his paw.
- Comment on Some folks might call me a dreamer 4 days ago:
I was going to say dogs break your rule but they scam me out of treats and attention so it still holds up.
- Comment on great entertainment 4 days ago:
Probably not close enough to the real thing to be considered NSFW but I'll err on the side of making it an opt-in experience.
Volvo with logo changed to “Vulva”. The circle has been elongated into a yonic oval.
~I’ve~ ~seen~ ~more~ ~titillating~ ~cow~ ~skulls~ ~though.~ - Comment on Finally paid off my Costco hotdog in 4 easy installments! 4 days ago:
When the few scattered survivors of our upcoming nuclear winter emerge and rebuild society, posts like these will be used in textbooks to prove we had it coming.
- Comment on great entertainment 4 days ago:
Try a little circumlocution, see if you can get her to arrive at the point.
- Comment on 4 days ago:
Happens to a lot of guys (minus the rabbit).
- Comment on great entertainment 4 days ago:
I’m trying to figure out a joke that hinges on the idea of using one to practice drawing letters and the other for writing words but I’m not enough of a cunning linguist.
- Comment on 4 days ago:
- Comment on 5 days ago:
Might leave you with a messy back if you swing too far in step 3.
- Comment on Om, bitches 5 days ago:
3D print a time-traveling Tylenol into your pregnant mother’s mouth.
- Comment on Away down South in the land of Traitors, 6 days ago:
Won’t make the same mistake twice.
- Comment on Y'all ever have intrusive thoughts about accidentally dropping stuff in storm drains? (particulary when you have your phone out) And like if that happens, wtf is someone supposed to do? 6 days ago:
What?
- Comment on Live fearlessly 1 week ago:
Or tampon roulette: individually wrapped and bagged in sets of 6 but one has a capsaicin-saturated core. Maybe get a few friends with synced cycles so everybody draws one and waits to see who [won / lost].
- Comment on When I die maybe they will also stuff me and put me in a museum 1 week ago:
I’m not about to let a little thing like perfect factual accuracy get in the way of a dumb joke.
- Comment on Can confirm/deny? 1 week ago:
Sufficiently advanced shitposting is indistinguishable from magic.
- Comment on When I die maybe they will also stuff me and put me in a museum 1 week ago:
Cool but why did they include those 3D printed save icons?
