Aeao
@Aeao@lemmy.world
- Comment on One Angry Man 4 days ago:
A moment of sunshine in a spotless mind
The hill has an eye
- Comment on One Angry Man 4 days ago:
It’s vin desile
- Comment on heaven 1 week ago:
I mean … It’s not because they are short … Have you met short people? They are little demons.
- Comment on Name Your Favorite Marvel Movie: Wrong Answers Only 2 weeks ago:
"MIND-YOUR-OWN- BUSINESS MAN!!!
COP: he plans to rob six banks in 36 hours. We know his list but not the plan-
Mind your own business man : and they’re all insured? By the FDIC?
Cop: it’s a crime sir
Myobm: yeah … Three of these got bailouts in the housing market chrisis and the other three forgiven loans in COVID… All more than what’s about to be stolen …
Cop: doctor theft plans-
Myobm: doctor serves them damn right if you ask me. I’m sitting this out. Not my problems.
- Comment on sharks are older than polaris 2 weeks ago:
And you don’t need alligators to make a swamp. Not relevant to the question I asked.
- Comment on sharks are older than polaris 2 weeks ago:
I’d talk about taffy if we’re lucky enough to have it. We chewed rubber across the street from the taffy store hoping to catch a wiff of the taffy. If the wind was right you’d almost smell it over the horse manure we had to carry back and forth.
But you’ve said you’ve grown have you? Let me put my glasses on and take a look at ya. How old you get up to now? 17? When I was your age I was 24 and had to hide from the draft but I know you do the best you can and I don’t hold it against you. Life is softer now a days, you grew up with all your toes I see. We used to have to write our names on our toes in case they got stolen police weren’t now damn good barely got half of them back . … you’re a good boy tho lad. Strapping. Like your Father before he got sloppy and stumbled into all that doctor brain pull crap. Pills making people happy now. If I wanted haUppy I had to go to war and get an arm blown off and you don’t see me complaining.
Run along now son and tell your mother I need another rooted beer and make it a good one this time. Damn lazy kids. My father never ask twice a day in his life. He asked once then he kill ya and replace ya with a kid that minded better and they call that abuse now. That’s why nothing ever gets done anymore with the construction down the road. Six weeks for pavement and they call it progress. Their lucky. They don’t even… They don’t … damn kids.and their play tubes… Snoring … We stood in line for our kidneys… Snoring.
- Comment on sharks are older than polaris 2 weeks ago:
Back in my day you used to be able to buy twelve horseshoe crabs for a nickel… Of course that was before the war… Back then id swear at least two and a half teenth of my crew where horse shew crab but who you going to tell ? Tattling wouldn’t be invented for another 2 score years up in Kentucky you had to wait another 6!
But it’s was easier and I miss those days. If you could dodge the knowledge toads you were already 12 up on these Irish but we can’t say that anymore can we? No sir…now we got to give everything to the freckled folk and act like that’s the way it’s meant to be but it’s not. It wasn’t a thing until the battle of leaky hill… But we lost and I had to accept that to get tomatoes down at the Paul’s service at a decent price. Don’t even get me started about the tomatoes. You never damn believe it.
Sorry I’m going to be a grandfather soon so I’m practicing
- Comment on sharks are older than polaris 2 weeks ago:
Explain what you mean in 6 paragraphs please
- Comment on sharks are older than polaris 2 weeks ago:
I can explain that but I have to use the only thing available to illustrate.
So imagine my left testicle here formed before this penis in the middle… And yes it is technically a penis despite the small size, and this testicle-
- Comment on sharks are older than polaris 2 weeks ago:
I got to ask all the Internet tho… Which is better?!
The concept of north?
Or sharks?
- Comment on "And my dick fucks your wife more than you do. What's your point?" 2 months ago:
What time is it?
- Comment on How do children address a non-binary parent? 2 months ago:
That cracked me up lol
- Comment on How do children address a non-binary parent? 2 months ago:
I’m not nonbinary but my son just calls me Michael.
- Comment on Whenever a beast is shown on screen 3 months ago:
Elephants evolved to be stealthy to not spook the plants. I remember just yesterday I went to pick an orange but stepped on a twig… The entire orchard bolted. Huge pain in the ass. The farmer was pissed.
Btw I’m being silly not insulting your comment.
- Comment on Whenever a beast is shown on screen 3 months ago:
Slow and steady winning the race. I’ve heard that’s why we are fascinated by zombie movies. Like us they use persistence and numbers to attack their prey.
- Comment on I have a shamefully dark question for firefighters. I'm sorry but I'm just too curious to not ask... It's about the smell and how that affects life. 3 months ago:
I’m sorry. I can’t offer much but I can give something small. I have suffered from depression a few times in my life and landed on fire to mask it as a protest for whatever.
I didn’t do it obviously it was a very long time ago. It actually didn’t enter my mind at all when asking this question until I read this comment and remembered my past.
If I ever get that bad again, and I hope I don’t, I promise not to use fire.
Not much but it’s something.
- Comment on I have a shamefully dark question for firefighters. I'm sorry but I'm just too curious to not ask... It's about the smell and how that affects life. 3 months ago:
Yeah I grew up on a farm and smelled some pretty bad stuff but it was just a bad smell. If I knew it was human that would be harder even if it smelled mostly the same. It would be psychologically worse.
I know burying a dog that got hit by a car and took a few days to find was worse than finding a missing cow in the same state. I loved the dog, I liked the cows but that dog was my dog. It was worse smell psychologically even tho the cow is bigger and was probably logically more smelly.
- Comment on Some Grammaticial voices. 3 months ago:
Sorry for the double reply but I wanted to give some examples that aren’t related to politics. I’ll use leather because I loved my job selling leather back in the day
Customer “I saw this at another store I went to do you guys get it from the same supplier”
Me: I made that myself. Yeah it’s common when someone comes up with a unique design it often gets reproduced overseas and imported back by stores who prefer that route. I just wish they’d at least pass the cheaper price back to the customer. I’m sure you know (other store) has almost the same price maybe it’s a bit less a dollar or so maybe… I don’t shop there myself obviously, but when you look at reviews… I just don’t hear very many good things about his business personally. This belt is made by us directly and you’ll see similar designs here and there but I can’t guarantee thier quality like I can mine"
What did I really say? Did I say the other store stole my design? No. Did I say they import it from somewhere else? No. Did I say they overcharge? No. Did I say my price was the same? No. Did I say they have bad reviews? No. Did I say I’ve heard bad things about them? No.
I said practically nothing that I dressed up in a tuxedo. That’s sales. Btw I’m never that shady I just know how it works
- Comment on Some Grammaticial voices. 3 months ago:
Thanks. Ive been a salesman since 16 so I see the stuff he’s doing. Before he ran for president I actually liked trump as a salesman. He was good, still a sleezball and shady but I had respect for the “art” if you will. Not the person.
So I make fun of him a lot and it’s simple for me because it’s just “take sleezy sales strategies I already know, add what I know about trump from the early days and now, a liberal sprinkling of alzheimer’s and garnish with an arrogant god complex.”
That’s a perfect trump speech recipe if you want to try it at home, or for a party.
That’s where you get stuff like
“you wouldn’t believe it” setting your customer up by telling them what they are about to feel. That makes them start to feel that way before you even say the thing.
“Some say it’s more, I could be more, probably more but let’s say 200"
- fake humble, like you’re giving a conservative estimate when actually you’re doing the opposite. However you specifically did not guarantee more, you just said some people might say that and you might agree. That’s not a lie technically.
“Others said It couldn’t be done” whoever you think those other people might be… That’s who’s lieing to you and I’m now confirming that you can’t trust them. You can trust me because I loved them wrong… And that’s kinda like proving you right isn’t it? Because you didn’t trust whoever you are thinking about and you were right to feel that way. And I’m right and safe. So trust me because we’re basically a team now. Against the people you think I’m talking about.
Anyway that’s enough examples but you can see things like “who said it couldn’t be done” it vague so the customer can fill it in themselves with whoever they want. You can see things like “biden had more than 10 “forms or whatever”” woah I didn’t say ten. I said maybe ten and I think probably, but I also said I didn’t know. It was an opinion not a lie”
Even “Hussain” Obama. The name has negative appeal but it’s just a name not a political stance hell he didn’t even pick it himself. But you dont trust that name so I’m going to make sure you keep hearing it.
Sleezy sleazy sales tactics. And with age he’s gotten worse. I mean he was always a bad person but with age he’s getting worse at the “art” if you will.
- Comment on I have a shamefully dark question for firefighters. I'm sorry but I'm just too curious to not ask... It's about the smell and how that affects life. 3 months ago:
And you see I’m quick to accept when I’m wrong.
Plus although I do assume probably too quickly Im quick to ask questions from people who know more.
This I think helps me more than simply not making connections could
- Comment on I have a shamefully dark question for firefighters. I'm sorry but I'm just too curious to not ask... It's about the smell and how that affects life. 3 months ago:
That’s good to know. I told another commenter I’m glad to be wrong. I just assumed it would smell like pork because of all the ways pig is used to test things as replacement for human flesh. Being close here doesn’t mean it’s close there. I just assumed and I’m relieved that’s not something people actually have to deal with.
Still obviously a horrible and traumatic thing to deal with but at least it doesn’t ruin Nana’s famous pulled pork. Which is so small and silly compared to dealing with the horrors of a tragedy but… To use a silly example “it sucks I got fired but it would’ve been slightly worse if I got fired and hit my shin on the table while I was being escorted out of the building”. Basically I’m not implying “well then it’s not so bad” just…One small thing I’m glad isn’t part of the problem.
- Comment on I have a shamefully dark question for firefighters. I'm sorry but I'm just too curious to not ask... It's about the smell and how that affects life. 3 months ago:
That is a great answer thank you. That was the most horrific part of the question. I’ve never smelled it obviously but I know pirates called it long pork. I’ve heard it described as tasting like pork but only from people who probably were not cannibals. I don’t talk to a lot of cannibals… That I’m aware of anyway. So I only have what I read here and there in articles. I just assumed if humans tasted like pork then we smell like pork.
So I was talking about smells with a friend “bathrooms and air freshener if you’re curious” and my ADHD brain just linked a bunch of useless trivia.
I’m glad to know humans just smell different. It’s probably biological maybe even evolution. Makes sense because in the cave man days anyone who wasn’t disgusted by another dead human enough to run… Probably didn’t survive as long as those that thought “this is something I want to immediately get away from.”
- Comment on I have a shamefully dark question for firefighters. I'm sorry but I'm just too curious to not ask... It's about the smell and how that affects life. 3 months ago:
That’s the thing tho nasty and gross I could deal with. I’m no hero like emergency services. I grew up on a farm, raised and processed animals here and there. Stumbled apon missing animals that were long past a pleasant smell. I had a grandmother that was a hoarder, I raised 4 kids…
I’m the one in my family that does the “ewww I just can’t… Please I can’t even talking about it *dry heaves”
My family jokes that I would be the guy in the movie doing an autopsy with his sandwich sitting on the chest of the body.
Now none of that was even close to the mental trauma doctors, police, firefighters face. I also know human decomposition is described as much worse. Id also assume smelling the stuff I’ve smelled from animals probably also hits mentally harder coming from a human. I’m not at all saying “meh I’ve smelled it all”
The point I’m making is terrible smells are bad but seeing something awful and smelling a steak or something good? That seems worse. Like if I drained an abscess in an animal and smelled sugar cookies… I wouldn’t be able to eat sugar cookies anymore. I assume. I don’t really know which is why I’m asking.
But I did read you said a person who died by fire doesn’t smell like steak or food? That’s good to hear. Thats what I was unsettled but curious about.
- Comment on Some Grammaticial voices. 3 months ago:
Old and already answered but I gotta try my hand at it.
We got samples, they said it couldn’t be done but we did it. And everybody i got to say… These samples … No one’s ever seen samples like this. Of you should’ve heard what people were saying they told me (mocking voice) “we can’t get the samples we have to wait” I walked in on day one and got those samples. They said it couldn’t be done, I got samples, I got the better samples they didn’t even want to tell us about but I got em. When I went in they were begging to give me these samples. I said “no. I want the better samples” and we got em.
And the forms. Oh you won’t believe the forms let me tell you about the forms. Barak Hussain Obama… I don’t know if you’ve heard of this guy… He’s scared now, all the democrats are because they’ve been having their friends at the fake news tell you they couldn’t get the forms.
I got the forms, I got the samples and now they’re scared. They are scared because they know I got the best forms and the best samples. They said it couldn’t be done. Ive already made some calls and worked out deals to get 200 forms done. Never been done before, they couldn’t believe it.
Do you know how many forms sleepy Joe got filled out. You wouldn’t believe it 5 maybe 10 maybe who knows. Where are these forms and… AND… they were Terrible forms. The worst… I couldn’t believe it. I asked him “where’s the forms why aren’t we getting the forms”. Day one I got 200 forms some say it’s more, it could be more, I don’t know, probably more. 200 forms can you believe that. The best forms and that’s why they’re scared now. We’ve got more forms, better forms, than probably anyone else in the world. They can’t believe our forms. Their saying “wow look at those forms” they wish they had these forms they can’t believe it… And we’re going to keep going… No one’s ever seen it. never been done before.
- Submitted 3 months ago to [deleted] | 44 comments
- Comment on Some Grammaticial voices. 3 months ago:
Festive voice
It’s begining to look a lot like samples
Results on every form.
- Comment on I'm a 6'1" man with size 3 feet which means every they measure my feet at a shoe store, the Brannock device gatekeeps my gender 3 months ago:
Do your feet hurt a lot? It sounds like a lot of pressure on a small area
- Comment on San Jose Cochran Frog 🐸 4 months ago:
Want to hear another one that isn’t Texan, I think it’s just me?
When someone is hurrying me or being impatient I’ll say
“Chill Vladimir, don’t be Russian”
- Comment on San Jose Cochran Frog 🐸 4 months ago:
That’s the original phrase yes.
- Comment on San Jose Cochran Frog 🐸 4 months ago:
this reminds me of one of my “cowboy phrases”
Im from Texas but I live somewhere else now. My employees laugh at some things I thought were common phrases.
Anyway …
Person: I wish/wanted/hoped (blank)
Me: yeah, and I wish frogs had wings so they didn’t have to bump their ass on the ground when they hopped. Life is full of little disappointments.