Festive voice
It’s begining to look a lot like samples
Results on every form.
Some Grammaticial voices.
Submitted 5 weeks ago by Irelephant@lemm.ee to science_memes@mander.xyz
https://lemm.ee/pictrs/image/2ab18828-6fe1-42c6-a685-0d2fd315f710.png
Comments
Aeao@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
S_H_K@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 weeks ago
be me. collect samples. do pro testing in the samples. get shit results.
Life of a poop scientist
VivianRixia@piefed.social 5 weeks ago
Farnsworth Voice:
Good news everyone! We have a delivery of Samples to Test 14, the testing planet. A hazardous world of unregulated science and mad experiments where you will surely be killed. Well, off you go.Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
Hermes voice:
If you’ll refer to form S-43.0 through 681, you will see that each sample was taken, registered, and filed. Scientists will then be able to request access to each sample using forms S-48 and B-2250 and can then perform analysis if they also provide forms A-6654.2 and D-12.8, though D-12.8 is only required if the analysis is destructive. If the analysis results in the destruction of the entire sample, you’ll also need to file a D-12.4 along with an S-40 request for a replacement sample, which might also require an E-36 expedition request.
RiceMunk@sopuli.xyz 5 weeks ago
In a university there was a lab. And in this lab there lived a postdoc. One day in the third month of their the postdoc heard a rap on their door. It was the professor! They said the postdoc would soon be approached by 12 undergrads, and…
<300 pages of worldbuilding later>
“You must take the samples! And throw them into the synchrotron! I am too old and burnt out to do it!” pleaded the old postdoc to the phd student.
<500 pages of more worldbuilding>
“I did the testing, but the results are not meant for me. I must now travel to the West, into the Private Sector.” said the PhD at their graduation party.
Lv_InSaNe_vL@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
Wait where is the completely unnecessary side plot about the undergrads partying with another professor??
tetris11@lemmy.ml 5 weeks ago
“I did the testing, but the results are not meant for me. I must now travel to the West, into the Private Sector.” said the PhD at their graduation party.
A desolate wasteground of nothingness washed over the land, leaving nothing but apathy and desolation in it’s wake. The postdoc picked up a fallen fence post and sharpened it into spear. “These are dark times” they whispered, and set off back up the mountain, picking up the charred remains of the bridge to their former lab and pulling on the thin whisps of job strings dangled carelessly at random from the sky, sometimes doing nothing other than pulling the stormy sky down further to the ground.
WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
Where are the songs?
JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 5 weeks ago
A Song of Ice-III and Fire
lennivelkant@discuss.tchncs.de 4 weeks ago
Shouldn’t that be exothermic oxidation?
Sickos@hexbear.net 5 weeks ago
Extra passive headline voice:
A sample was seen and collection happened. The scientists deny any testing.
lennivelkant@discuss.tchncs.de 4 weeks ago
The scientists deny any testing.
That’s active voice tho
MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml 5 weeks ago
Shakespear voice?
Sickos@hexbear.net 5 weeks ago
The samples gathered on the bench anon Support my new hypothesis by morn
Sickos@hexbear.net 5 weeks ago
A paper full of garbage data stacked
Statistically massaged supports our grant
Hupf@feddit.org 4 weeks ago
The testing will stop when the samples improve.
SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 4 weeks ago
Obviously you should make it sound like scattered notes in Resident Evil
luciferofastora@feddit.org 4 weeks ago
I get why it’s done from a narrative point of view, but some obnoxious pedantic voice in my head never stops wondering why people would write down obscure lore notes in the middle of a disaster or when they’re about to die. It makes sense for some organisation’s agents to document their discoveries and leave (incremental) reports on-site in case they don’t make it back for a full report, but some random raider in FO4 noting down how pissed he is with his boss?
Of course, I’m a sucker for lore, so I’ll take it, particularly when it’s in audio log form during exploration sections so I can keep exploring and listen instead of stopping to read.
18107@aussie.zone 5 weeks ago
I have taken your samples. You will never see them again.
Litebit@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
Do Trump Maga voice.
Irelephant@lemm.ee 5 weeks ago
Our very great, very excellent team collected samples, and might I add these are some of the greatest samples we have ever seen! I went to the russian scientists and they said “mr. trump we have never seen samples these great” such great samples indeed.
Irelephant@lemm.ee 5 weeks ago
Leaving out the “and we tested them” bit is intentional. Trump would probably forget an important piece of info in his word vomit.
^kinda^ ^like^ ^chatgpt^ ^ngl^
Litebit@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
Lol… even without mentioning him one can tell it is him saying all that. I heard Trump say “The russian scientist went wild on the samples.” www.youtube.com/watch?v=P4WgOPT9TUA
Aeao@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
Old and already answered but I gotta try my hand at it.
We got samples, they said it couldn’t be done but we did it. And everybody i got to say… These samples … No one’s ever seen samples like this. Of you should’ve heard what people were saying they told me (mocking voice) “we can’t get the samples we have to wait” I walked in on day one and got those samples. They said it couldn’t be done, I got samples, I got the better samples they didn’t even want to tell us about but I got em. When I went in they were begging to give me these samples. I said “no. I want the better samples” and we got em.
And the forms. Oh you won’t believe the forms let me tell you about the forms. Barak Hussain Obama… I don’t know if you’ve heard of this guy… He’s scared now, all the democrats are because they’ve been having their friends at the fake news tell you they couldn’t get the forms.
I got the forms, I got the samples and now they’re scared. They are scared because they know I got the best forms and the best samples. They said it couldn’t be done. Ive already made some calls and worked out deals to get 200 forms done. Never been done before, they couldn’t believe it.
Do you know how many forms sleepy Joe got filled out. You wouldn’t believe it 5 maybe 10 maybe who knows. Where are these forms and… AND… they were Terrible forms. The worst… I couldn’t believe it. I asked him “where’s the forms why aren’t we getting the forms”. Day one I got 200 forms some say it’s more, it could be more, I don’t know, probably more. 200 forms can you believe that. The best forms and that’s why they’re scared now. We’ve got more forms, better forms, than probably anyone else in the world. They can’t believe our forms. Their saying “wow look at those forms” they wish they had these forms they can’t believe it… And we’re going to keep going… No one’s ever seen it. never been done before.
Litebit@lemmy.world 4 weeks ago
ROFL… you must be the guy who writes his speech.
restingboredface@sh.itjust.works 5 weeks ago
Conspiracy voice is reading to me like grad school voice. Just replace the suspicious overtones with condescension and ridicule.
tetris11@lemmy.ml 5 weeks ago
We hunted the samples at nightfall and subjected them to relentless, unforgiving scrutiny.
Dadifer@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
The warrior voice
tetris11@lemmy.ml 5 weeks ago
Temba, his arms full. Darmok and Jalad at the ocean. Uzani, when light came over the mountain
NocturnalMorning@lemmy.world 5 weeks ago
The war paint began to run with our sweat… but the samples, they were another matter. They stood no chance.