JasonDJ
@JasonDJ@lemmy.zip
- Comment on You wanted the secret to getting rich? Here it is 7 hours ago:
I think you forgot to buy the Washington Post, but otherwise a pretty solid plan.
- Comment on It all makes sense 19 hours ago:
Back should be “Loyal Minions…”
Front should be “Their couch”.
- Comment on Dandelion cannon 2 days ago:
My kids will gladly blow you anyway. They don’t care. You’ll shoot your seed all over the neighborhood, and they’ll just smile and laugh.
- Comment on Dandelion cannon 2 days ago:
Oh man, my kids love to blow them and that stuff shoots everywhere.
- Comment on let's use PIN pad to complete transaction together 3 days ago:
^move ^your
#BANANAS
^to ^the ^bagging ^area
- Comment on SoyFACE 4 days ago:
It’s when carnists pretend to be vegan.
- Comment on Please tell me 4 days ago:
Between that and the “100% Grass” half-and-half next to it…I gotta check out the dairy case at my dispensary. Usually they just have ice cream.
- Comment on Mmmm suppositories. 6 days ago:
She always knew you’d find out.
- Comment on Gallium 1 week ago:
Ken Star has entered the chat
- Comment on Every time 1 week ago:
Grapes? Or assorted jellies? Possibly including grape?
- Comment on Every time 1 week ago:
The dog, or Mr. Worldwide?
- Comment on The good old days 1 week ago:
As a balding male homeowner who just turned 40…fuck.
- Comment on Trying to figure out what it means 1 week ago:
Cops hate this one trick
- Comment on LETS GOOOOOOO 1 week ago:
I didn’t realize that Making America Great Again meant bringing us back to pre- Columbian standards. The natives will be happy.
- Comment on 1 week ago:
The 80s as a whole was a bust for musicals…but Phantom and Little Shop of Horrors came out after cats. Broadway, imo, is in a bit of a rebirth right now. There’s been plenty of amazing shows.
- Comment on 1 week ago:
nobody just breaks out in song when they get dumped, for example.
Nah, you just have boring friends. Weirdo.
- Comment on 1 week ago:
Is that inclusive of Cats? Because I fucking hated Cats. Except for some parts. Like Mistofoles. He’s chill.
- Comment on The Price is Wrong, Bitch 1 week ago:
He was in a Corn Pops commercial in 99, too.
- Comment on My mouth suffers for the noms 1 week ago:
I’ll take salt and vinegar on my french fries. That’s glorious.
The ratio on chips is way off though. Too much vinegar, not enough salt.
- Comment on oops 1 week ago:
It’s that bullshit when they take a vertically oriented picture/video, stretch it and blur it to a 4:3 ratio, and center the content over it.
Imo a waste of bandwidth and computer power for people who can’t cope with the idea of vertical content on a horizontal screen, on a platform primarily accessed by phones anyway.
- Comment on Can reading assholes be considered science? 2 weeks ago:
Can’t you just read X instead?
- Comment on Children never lie 2 weeks ago:
Screenshot of a social media post with title “Always check your child’s homework”.
Below the title is a picture of an elementary school worksheet…the type with an area to draw on top and a writing prompt with a few blank lines below. From top to bottom:
A drawing, seemingly made by a child, maybe 6-8 years old. Drawing is of a woman wearing a crown with a glass bottle in one hand and a microphone in the other.
Below that, the prompt: “To relax, my mom likes to”.
Below that, the child’s response: “drink tequela and sing”
Mistaken spelling of tequila was present on the page. Personally, I like to think that if this is real, the child asked their mom without context how to spell the word, and she drunkenly stammered out the letters you see here.
- Comment on Just.....why? 2 weeks ago:
Because you don’t want someone else using your toothbrush on your account. Do you?
- Comment on Welcome to petty lane 2 weeks ago:
This. Speed limit laws are bullshit and their selective enforcement is proof of it.
The dangerous drivers are the ones that are impeding the flow (i.e. going well below the speed limit when road/weather conditions don’t necessitate it; cruising in a passing lane, etc) or driving unpredictably/erratically (cutting people off, weaving, etc).
Not necessarily the speeders, though there can certainly be some overlap, particularly in the latter group.
But speeders are the ones that get ticketed over while those asshats just crash into schoolbusses.
- Comment on 😭😭😭 2 weeks ago:
Some sort of pigeon/chicken hybrid?
Chigeon? Picken?
- Comment on Looking for work? Need a job with good pay and benefits? Have any sense of ethics? ICE is hiring and has low standards. Sign up for ICE and be the most incompetent agent in history. 3 weeks ago:
As a dude whose in IT for a DoD contractor, you’ve got me questioning our internal threat standards.
- Comment on Just keep typing, wage slaves 3 weeks ago:
I called corporate and they said they would put in a ticket with the landlord. What more can I do?
- Comment on Tbf he did gather enough data to get a more stylish outfit and haircut. 3 weeks ago:
The dude literally has the power to define cool in his own image.
- Comment on When you work for a company owned by a A..hole 3 weeks ago:
Oh, so only one sex worker was involved in the catapult incident. The rest were no incident.
- Comment on When you work for a company owned by a A..hole 3 weeks ago:
For good measure, you should skip breakfast and make sure you have a big lunch.
No reason to give your boss any of your breakfast tho. That’s on your time.