Anon orders food

Comments

• sin_free_for_00_days@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  It’s such a dichotomy. Women get catcalled every day and feel uncomfortable and harassed. Understandable. The average man gets catcalled a handful of times in his life and cherishes those moments almost as much as their children’s births.

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  • Mac@mander.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Women drown in the ocean whereas men die of thirst in the desert.

    This is obviously an overgeneralization, but it matches the experience of many.

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    • BastingChemina@slrpnk.net ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      I heard a similar analogy, men are in a desert, women in a swamp. In both cases they struggle to find drinkable water.

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  • MountingSuspicion@reddthat.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    I think the difference is that this isn’t catcalling. If women’s compliments towards men were the same as men’s compliments towards women, I think men would also dislike it. Don’t get me wrong, I recognize that men don’t get compliments often, and often they stick with them, but generally those are complements and not catcalls.

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    • damnedfurry@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      If women’s compliments towards men were the same as men’s compliments towards women, I think men would also dislike it.

      Nah.

      Every time I’ve ever heard of an experiment where indignant women do/say to men the exact same things that they hate getting from men, they’re always astonished to see the men’s reactions as practically universally positive:

      If the goal of the experiment was to make men feel the weird combination of creeped-out and ashamed that comes with everyday objectification, then the experiment failed. Instead, these fellas look flattered and expectant. You can practically see them plotting the nearest route to the cheapest hotel.

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  • Chev@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Catcalling ≠ Complimenting

    Catcalling is about letting the other know, that you want to fuck or harass them.

    Complimenting is about verbalising beauty without any other expectations towards the other person.

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    • mosiacmango@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      There is an old idiom that goes “everything about sex except sex. That’s about power.”

      Catcalling is about expressing power over someone else bodt and life. It’s a veiled threat, coached in sexual terms. No one doing it actually expects to have sex afterwards. Its about sayihg “i can force sex on you. I can take control of you.”

      A lot of the men engaging in it above are doing it because of peer pressure, normalized misogyny and the “thrill” of getting an acknowledgement of that power by scaring women. I dont think most of them want to attack women outright to begin with, but it normalizes mixing sex with violence and dehumanizing woman.

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  • SnortsGarlicPowder@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Eh being 14 and an adult woman shouting out of a cat at me to get my cock out I feel is about as gross and threatening as it would be if the genders were reversed.

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    • refurbishedrefurbisher@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Kind of gross and threatening even as an adult TBH.

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  • captainlezbian@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    As someone who’s been catcalled many many times while presenting female and once while presenting male (by women). Yeah tbh it felt similarly threatening. When you’re walking alone in the dark all big burly and bearded and just hear a voice calling out sexualizing you it’s scary. Like in retrospect now I can recognize that it was probably a drunk/high/low inhibitioned young woman displaying the confidence of youth when surrounded by friends. But I was scared because if she’s comfortable doing this she probably knows something I don’t if she chooses to escalate.

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    • GoodLuckToFriends@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      When you’re walking alone in the dark all big burly and bearded and just hear a voice calling out sexualizing you it’s scary

      The fear is from the group dynamics more than anything else. Gender almost plays no part in it. Age plays almost no part in it. There are several stories about a group of teens attacking a lone adult, and it goes just about as you’d expect. Anyone who is alone and suddenly becomes the focus of attention by a group will (and probably should) become worried, whereas if you’re in a group the (that is, your) reaction can be anything from ignoring to playing along because you have less to fear. All of us can imagine the difference between walking in a group or by yourself when getting catcalled. Most of us have probably seen the difference.

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  • drascus@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    My god if I could just get one compliment I could die happy.

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    • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      I like your username, and you have great taste in Lemmy instances.

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    • TheBat@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      Live long you absolute potato

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  • Owlboi@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    women get so much attention its like theyre drowning. men get so little its like theyre starving in the desert.

    truly ironic

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  • SuperDuperKool@lemmy.cafe ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Maybe you do you creep

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• Jyek@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  Girls have a super power they can use to live rent free in any guy’s head rent free pretty much eternally. All they need to do is catch them off guard with a compliment.

  A guy will keep a shirt until it literally disintegrates if one time a girl said “that color looks good on you.” Pretty much every guy that wears a particular cologne, wears that cologne because at some point a girl said he smelled nice. It’s not even a horny brain thing I don’t think. It’s just that guys get so few compliments on their appearance that every single one is massively precious to them.

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  • aeshna_cyanea@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    girls would do this more often but there’s always the (justified tbh) fear that the guy will take it the wrong way and get weird about it :(

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    • ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      It’s absolutely justified fear. For every one guy who will just take it as a sweet compliment, there are ten guys who will think “she wants the D!”

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    • QuantumSparkles@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      It goes both ways I think too. Guys wouldn’t obsess over the idea that a single compliment might be flirting if they were more used to compliments in general from both sexes. On the other hand some guys are so afraid of misreading a compliment or normal friendliness that they can’t tell when someone actually is flirting. I sort of think there need to be more voices out there meant to speak directly to men and masc people about social literacy that aren’t trying to turn them into hateful, violent, incel republicans.

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  • Aviandelight@mander.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    I’ve always bought my husband red shirts because I think he looks good in a bold red color. About 17 years of marriage before he finally told me he doesn’t really care for the color, that he just wants to look good for me.

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    • TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      awee

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• idiomaddict@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  I (afab) intentionally give my male friends and coworkers lots of non sexual compliments, and it’s been a mixed bag for people I don’t know well. I genuinely love men’s business wear, so I frequently go for a comment about what they’re wearing (think “I like your shirt” or “that’s a cool pattern,” not “that shirt makes your eyes pop” or “you look sexy in that shirt”), and about a third of the time, they still seem to think I’m coming on to them. Since I got married and wear my wedding ring, that’s down to about a quarter.

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  • Pregnenolone@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    non-sexual

    “You look sexy in that shirt”

    I mean…

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    • virku@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      You missed the word “not” there I guess?

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    • idiomaddict@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      That’s an example of a compliment I don’t give. I’m not trying to start something I don’t want to finish and I don’t want to finish anything.

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• BillibusMaximus@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  In 1998, the young lady working the cash register at the taco bell near where I worked told me I have really pretty eyes. So I have that going for me, which is nice.

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  • Empricorn@feddit.nl ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    The same thing happened to me, only it was at a Carl’s Jr! Rejoice, for we have pretty eyes! (At least according to 2 random fast-food workers)

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• Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  Anon’s tombstone:

  “She really liked my voice.”

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• blady_blah@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  It’s crazy how few times in an average man’s life he gets real compliments on clothing or looks. It happens so rarely most of us can tell you about the times even when they’re 20 years ago.

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  • Glytch@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Speaking from first hand experience: try growing a handlebar mustache (if you can). If you groom it well you will get complimented all the time. I’m a fairly generic looking guy without the stache, and almost never got complimented on my looks before I grew it.

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    • captainlezbian@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      Similarly if you grow a John brown beard but condition it that worked for me as a 18 year old but that was 12 years ago so ymmv

      Muttonstache also works

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  • other_cat@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    I try to be mindful of this (I compliment people fairly frequently when I’m out of the house), and I still find that I don’t really ‘notice’ men as much as women (I am asexual, so it is not an attraction thing either.) I think it’s because a lot of women’s clothing is varied, lots of different and interesting patterns and color combinations and cuts and styles. Men’s fashion tends to be pretty… similar? The times I remember noticing and complimenting men has usually been when they’ve worn a t-shirt with an anime or something I like on it. One time I saw a guy with these really cool, vibrant sleeve tattoos too and I mentioned how much I like those.

    Not that I’m saying it’s men’s faults–men’s casual fashion seems to really stake itself on being ‘plain’ and ‘simple’. All the t-shirts look the same, just in different solid colors. Plain jeans are plain jeans. Cargo shorts are cargo shorts. It’s easy to let your eyes sort of slide past it without registering much. Almost like social camouflage!

    My husband wears a lot of 90s nostalgia t-shirts and he gets compliments on them!

    I’m pretty average looking but I have a cool looking cloak and I get a compliment literally every time I wear it because it pops. It’s different.

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    • Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      As a wearer of nerdy t-shirts, i appreciate you! 😁

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  • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    And honestly, I’m happier that way. The less I’m noticed, the happier I am, generally speaking. I’m an introvert and feel obligated to spend some “social energy” whenever a random stranger says something to me. They might compliment my kid or ask about something I’m wearing or whatever, and I need to respond to that in some socially appropriate form.

    I’m not socially anxious or awkward or anything, I just don’t like putting in the effort. So I generally avoid the things that would lead to random social interaction.

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  • SnortsGarlicPowder@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    2 I have had 2 on the exact same shirt. I have no idea where that shirt is and it is my favourite shirt because of those compliments.

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• GeeDubHayduke@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  I’ve received two compliments from women out of the blue in my life. The first time was when a coworker told me i had a nice voice and should do voice acting for anime. That was 2006.

  The second was another coworker said “at least you’re cute” to some offhand joke i made. That was 2018.

  At that rate, I expect another nice comment around 2032 or so.

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  • x00z@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    The data indicates 12 years which would be 2030.

    That’s a lot more optimistic!

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    • GeeDubHayduke@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      I’m assuming that there’ll be an additional wait period. They are experiencing heavy call volume at this time.

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    • qarbone@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      It’s austerity now, so we can probably expect a bit of deflation on the compliment market, pushing back projected compliment growth rates.

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  • aeshna_cyanea@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    omg my last one was in 2018 as well. besties

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  • Hadriscus@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I had a girl compliment my voice too ! I was maybe 17, had her on the phone, she was a friend’s friend. Then we met and she ostensibly lost all her excitement

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    • Malfeasant@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Many years ago, my girlfriend’s grandma said I had a good voice for radio. I misheard her, thought she said a good face for radio. I didn’t react badly at the time, because being polite and all, but I didn’t like her grandma for a while. Then it came out what she had really said, girlfriend had a big laugh. I don’t remember what grandma thought of it, I was a little too embarrassed to have any attention to spare…

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    • GeeDubHayduke@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Oof, that hurts.

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  • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    I’m not a woman, but I think you type nicely.

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    • GeeDubHayduke@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      Thanks, sugar!

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• OmegaLemmy@discuss.online ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  Damn people are lonelier than me?

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  • RogueBanana@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    There’s always someone happier than you in the same way there’s always someone more miserable than you.

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    • Empricorn@feddit.nl ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      But there will never be anyone more you than you.

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  • daggermoon@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Me, probably

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  • BuboScandiacus@mander.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Yes we exist

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• JokeDeity@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  I’m not saying anything about right or wrong or societies roles, but I don’t even think it’s hyperbole to say my wife has been complimented thousands of times more then I have in our lives. It’s incredibly rare for me to get a compliment from a stranger, and even then it’s usually from other guys saying they like some item I’m wearing. It really does feel fucking incredible when it happens because it’s so insanely rare. And not to toot my own horn too much, but I’m not that bad looking, so I can’t imagine what it’s like for people with less fortune than I have in their appearance.

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  • VitoRobles@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Same. I still think about the older gentleman who randomly told me my glasses had a cool icon on them. Made me glow for days.

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• gmtom@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  I don’t remember basically anyone from my secondary schoold other than my 4 close freinds and this one girl that randomly asked me for a hug one day, said I give really good hugs, then basically never spoke to me again.

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  • vonbaronhans@midwest.social ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I get compliments on my hugs on the reg. Well, less regularly as I get older and meet new people less often, but still. Being a good hugger is somehow a weirdly rare skill?

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  • azalty@jlai.lu ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    🤗 hugs!

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• chiliedogg@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I was told blue looks good on me by a girl.

  10 years later, most of my shirts are blue.

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  • peetabix@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I hope she wasn’t colour blind 😬

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  • TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Purple for me. Fortunately I like it too.

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  • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Turns out she was making a BJ joke and occasionally lies awake cringing at the joke that everyone missed.

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• drascus@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  A girl once told me I am not horrific to look at. God that fucked me up lol.

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  • RedAggroBest@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    I feel that pain. It’s like that “worst she can do is say no” thing. When I was 12 my friends were joking about who another friend should “date” (ofc in the capacity that 12yos manage that) and someone JOKINGLY suggested me, I even laughed along for a second. Her answer, rather than laughing along or something, was a deadpan “eww”. That fucked my confidence for years

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    • Hadriscus@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Shit, I’m sorry. I have had a similar experience at around 7yo that imbalanced my relationships to others for the next 25 years. I’m pulling out of it now by sheer force of will and analysis. Wish you the best,

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    • WhiteOakBayou@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Once a group of us were playing spin the bottle and it landed on me and the girl said eww, he’s like my brother or whatever and then spun again and the guy it landed on got a double bj from her and her friend. I felt sad at the time, especially since we were all camping so we could hear them in the tents. I’m still friends with those girls (now grown women.) Your story reminded me of that and I haven’t thought of it in 20 years.

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• Lv_InSaNe_vL@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  One time a buddy and I were out drinking and on our way out he ran into a childhood friend. So while they were catching up I was just leaning against a table and listening to their conversation and people watching.

  A pretty attractive woman came up to me, looked me dead in the eyes, and said “you’d be more attractive if you had some self-confidence”, and then walked out of the bar.

  I think about that every day. Because I have never in my life been told I need “more confidence” (actually, it’s usually the opposite haha).

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  • zaphod@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

    Maybe she wanted you to approach her, you ignored her “signals” and the only reason that could be, at least from her point of view, was that you lacked confidence.

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    • Hadriscus@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Aahhh… so, that morse code…??

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    • Lv_InSaNe_vL@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

      Yeah I assumed so. It was a few years ago so we probably talked for a bit at the bar (I am not allowed to go get drinks by myself cause I’ll end up talking to strangers for 45 mins haha) but I don’t remember her from any other point in the night.

      Idk it was just really strange haha

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• Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  I’ve received a lot of compliments on my voice in life, Nicknames for it throughout school, i didn’t have a period of voice cracking, literally woke up one day and my voice was different (scared the shit out of my parents that morning).

  I hate my voice 🙃

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• AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  I must be a heck of a lot more “attractive,” than I think I am. I’m male, and 44 y/o. I get a random compliment from strangers about once every month or two.

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• Agent641@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  “You smell so nice” - a gay female co-worker. I was wearing a new cologne that I purchased for myself. It was very expensive so I’m glad I chose well

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• jaschen@lemm.ee ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Everytime the cashier flips the tablet over before a tip, they say a compliment. I always tip more than I usually do.

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• Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  I did a lot of clubbing in the '90s. Once, a beautiful girl came up to me and said: “You’re gorgeous” and then ran off. Thing is, though, I was in my early 30s at the time and she looked about 16. So, obviously, I didn’t pursue her or try and make a thing of it, or follow up. But that’s stuck with me for over 20 years. I can still hear it in my head.

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• MrJameGumb@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  Where’s the greentext?

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• Bonje@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  My eyebrows got complimented back in high school. I ran out of the room red-faced mid class (it was during a science lab, and it’s been 10 years).

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• Nangijala@feddit.dk ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I give my man compliments all the time. He calls me silly and pretends he doesn’t care, but I think it is working. Have been running a semi-non stop compliment campaign since Covid where I tell him how beautiful his hair is in the hopes he will cut it less. It’s been a good while since he last came home looking like a sheep after shearing. Summer is approaching, though, so I’m bracing myself for him getting the idea to visit the barber and have him mutilate those beautiful locks of his. It should be crime, honestly.

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• Lesrid@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  A woman at a house party saw my driver’s license after she asked for proof that I have two middle names and two last names. She saw my photo and said: “your neck doesn’t look anywhere near as long in real life” I knew it was a compliment, and I’ll never forget it.

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• chronicledmonocle@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  “If I wasn’t a lesbian, I’d 100% date you”

  Normally, I’d write this off as someone “letting me down easy”, but this was my best friend in High school that I knew for years, so I know the sentiment was genuine.

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• daggermoon@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  I think back to a compliment I recieved once. Probably one of my more pleasant memories.

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• pan0wski@infosec.pub ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  When I was in elementary school, a girl who was generally mean to me and everyone else told me I have nice teeth. That was over 10 years ago and I still vividly remember it.

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• Kolanaki@pawb.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  Nothing makes me stfu faster than singing in my car and having someone walk by, knock on the window and tell me they think I sound good.

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• Nasan@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  Tangentially related, I was ordering food at a Wendy’s and the cashier out of the blue asked if I had ever been in a long distance relationship. I said no, but I knew people that had and if the relationship was strong enough, it would work out in the end. Hope things worked out for her.

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• Contentedness@lemmy.nz ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  I was working in a hotel kitchen and one of the waitresses told me I was more beautiful when I smiled. That was in like 2012 and I still remember it.

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• 2ugly2live@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I’m an ugly woman and I remember getting a compliment from someone at dunkin. It was another woman, but she said I looked pretty. I think to this day she’s the only person who has complimented me that wasn’t a friend or something. 😅

  I’ve had plenty of men yell out “huge bitch” and what have you though. 🤷🏿‍♀️

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• ameancow@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago

  I could never count the number of times in my life I thought people were laughing with me. They weren’t.

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