Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk
- Comment on Political rivals vow to boycott byelection after Farage quits as MP 13 hours ago:
You’re trying to make ‘Five Mil Froggie’ a thing, huh?
- Comment on Keeping my promise to Zephyr 13 hours ago:
I am ‘bossman’ to the guy in my nearest Mr. Shop, and my nearest chicken shop. So. Bossman.
- Comment on Valid point 13 hours ago:
How are you expected to buy a house if you don’t have a wallet with all your wealth in it?
- Comment on Why do you never talk about what you're reading? Me: 1 day ago:
Is that ‘We chat quite a bit about Ancient Egyptian Demonology’?
- Comment on Take that Aussies, USA #1! 2 days ago:
Sorry, bear with us! We’re a bit confused at the moment but we’ll get back to invading places eventually!
- Comment on Refreshing 6 days ago:
Especially ribs. Or soup.
- Comment on The real deal 1 week ago:
I open the carton and just jiggle each pair of eggs ever so slightly to make sure they’re loose. Cracked ones won’t move at all because they’re welded.
- Comment on Upgrade 2 weeks ago:
Dunno but the hands would be very bigly.
- Comment on About the Author.... the 1980s were wild 2 weeks ago:
He’s seen things, nudes, he’s seen things.
- Comment on Breaking News 2 weeks ago:
Surely no one else had that scoop!
- Comment on Upgrade 2 weeks ago:
These comments, lol. He’d have the face made to look like his own face.
- Comment on Flock of scissors 2 weeks ago:
If there’s a boy paid of scissors there, and a girl pair of scissors there, then it’s a brace of pairs of scissors. Obv. English is very straightforward.
- Comment on Unexpected item in the bagging area! 2 weeks ago:
I’ve worked with some of these guys and it’s absolutely all about them, their targets, their bonuses.
One of the Goldman Sachs bosses once came up with the term ‘long term greedy’, and had his staff apply it as a principle. Basically it means ‘do the right thing by your clients’ and ‘don’t gouge your clients’. Better to have a 20 million dollar a year client for 10 years than to screw them out of 50 million in the first year and lose them. That sounds great, but then he could afford to promote that way of thinking because he knew he’d still be there, with his stock/share options, in 10 years, profiting from that long term greed.
The younger guys are absolutely, 100% motivated to make as much as possible on day one and not give a shit about the long term view. How else are they going to afford the Porsche, Rolex, summer house in the Hamptons, etc. So they’re much more interested in screwing a client over for a fast buck, or shitting on the company’s long term well-being for this year’s bonus.
- Comment on The thrill 2 weeks ago:
Confidence is 99% of the solution!
- Comment on Unexpected item in the bagging area! 2 weeks ago:
You think the decision is dumb. But for them the decision probably improved the company’s bottom line at a crucial moment when their performance-related bonus is being calculated. And it also opens the door to sideways promotion.
e.g. Twatty McBallbag Ltd: profit with loss prevention staff = 1 million
profit the first month after all loss prevention staff were fired = 1.2 million
profit the sixth month after all loss prevention staff were fired = 0.6 millionThey claim the saving of 0.2 million (as a result of reducing staff costs) and get their performance related bonus. They also get to write 'While CEO at Twatty McBallbag Ltd, I increased profit by 20%", on their CV and move on to a new company with profits in the 10s of millions.
- Comment on porch of geese 2 weeks ago:
Português, filho da puta, dizes isso?
- Comment on You need to think long term 3 weeks ago:
poopybutthole@hotmail.com checking in!
- Comment on Don’t forget to regularly check your eyes! 3 weeks ago:
You gotta backslash your backslash, my Spooky Bog Monster!
- Comment on Wealth of Britain’s 157 billionaires now equal to 22% of country’s GDP 3 weeks ago:
Man, I got £1,500 in the bank, pretty soon I’ll be a billionaire too!
- Comment on Asylum seekers removed from Essex hotel targeted by far right as Home Office ends contract 3 weeks ago:
Ah, so the violent anti-immigration protests worked then? That’s a strong message to send.
- Comment on Man allowed to drive off from nursery with wrong child 3 weeks ago:
Christ, if I’d known we were allowed to swap kids at nursery…
- Comment on Punkrock 4 weeks ago:
Cool. Cool, cool, cool, but I didn’t hear the Ramones first album in the 1970s.
- Comment on Don't believe everything that you breathe 4 weeks ago:
eons of time in relative stillness
Oh, don’t tease me with a bit of fucking peace and quiet!
- Comment on Lort 4 weeks ago:
… and the readiness to cower behind my cruiser if shots ring out at the elementary school!
- Comment on Punkrock 4 weeks ago:
I remember being one of the youngest of a group of boy scouts, sitting in a tent, huddled around a battery-powered, mono-speaker tape deck, in 1978, listening to a bootleg copy of Never Mind the Bollocks, Here’s the Sex Pistols. I’d never heard anything like it. No other music has surprised me in the same way since.
- Comment on poverty is a choice 4 weeks ago:
Once you have practiced this a bit, you might be able to complete the routine in ten minutes.
10 minutes? More like one minute: “Hithereladies, howsyournightgoing? Kissingmenhuhwhatsthatallabout, I’dneverdoitespeciallynotwiththisguyhereyoucouldn’tpaymeto. Notforlessthat$100. brief tongue gargling Giveusmycashyoudummies. Seeyoubye!”
- Comment on There was a time when people had to deal with all of these being separate 4 weeks ago:
I literally remember this. I was living in the US in circa 2000. I remember standing outside my apartment with a mobile phone, a GPS system, an iPod, and a digital camera, and thinking ‘these should all be one thing’!
And here we are, 26 years later, and all of these things are deeply infected with unnecessary LLM bullshit. Progress!
- Comment on Complete lunacy. A toaster... really... a toaster? 4 weeks ago:
- Comment on A Woodpecker’s tongue is so long that it wraps around its skull 4 weeks ago:
Wait, what, yours doesn’t?
- Comment on Nobody ever knows 5 weeks ago:
How did you turn my phone screen into a mirror?