Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk
- Comment on Low quality cropping will officially launch on Lemmy in 2025 1 day ago:
Velcro them to the walls!
- Comment on “It’s Compiling!” 3 days ago:
“better”
Compile time was Usenet time.
- Comment on “It’s Compiling!” 3 days ago:
Remember the Windows 95 copying files animation?
A colleague and I were sitting waiting for a shit ton of files for the project we were working on to be copied to a backup folder when our (pretty computer-clueless) boss wandered up behind us and said: “Playing a game on company time?”
But then we all also wrote scripts which printed meaningless computer gibberish to the screen so we could take a bit of time out and relax - if he ever showed up we’d be allL “It’s compiling” or “It’s recalibrating the main drive” or “It’s defragging the video ROM”.
- Comment on What's yours? 6 days ago:
Hmm, I don’t think Barrington Mc Shagathy sounds like a hooker name, at all.
- Comment on Paneraverse 1 week ago:
All good, my man!
- Comment on Paneraverse 1 week ago:
I thought we were on time travellers’ café/diner. Everytime he kills JFK, hoping for a different historical outcome each time, he comes here afterwards for the breakfast special.
- Comment on Paneraverse 1 week ago:
i bet the guy in the back in the blue probably killed jfk
More than once.
- Comment on May The Fleas Of Ten Thousand Camels Infest Your Armpits 1 week ago:
May your USB plug never be the right way up first time you try to insert it.
JK, this is true for everyone, every time!
- Comment on I have a terrible memory for numbers so: 1 week ago:
0118 999 88199 9119 725 3
Emergency, which service do you require? Fire, Police or Ambulance?
- Comment on I mean... I don't see the problem? 1 week ago:
Is your brain wearing a shell suit as it does that?
- Comment on one you pop you can't stop 4 weeks ago:
- Comment on Anon studies Buddhism 4 weeks ago:
Monk was passing through. Some villagers saw him pissing on a statue of Buddha so they grabbed their pitchforks and went to pitchfork him. “Show me where Buddha is not, and I shall piss there.” said the monk.
- Comment on Giant prehistoric kangaroos preferred to ‘chill at home’ and didn’t like to go out much, scientists say 4 weeks ago:
There was a lot of good stuff on the telly back in the Quaternary Period.
- Comment on This thread is for lizard posting. Post your favourite lizards. 4 weeks ago:
Was he the lizard or was everyone else a lizard, I forget.
- Comment on French newspaper: The British elites always talk about their special-relationship. They claim the americans are their lovely cousins. But do US elites actually respect them ? 5 weeks ago:
Some US elites absolutely love us and have ‘afternoon tea’, including (inexplicably) cucumber sandwiches. The current crop of wankers don’t give two shits about us and wouldn’t piss on us if we were on fire.
- Comment on Liz Truss to launch ‘uncensored’ social network to counter mainstream media 5 weeks ago:
"… a new free speech network… to actually talk about the issues people don’t want to talk about.”
Fucking hell, Liz, you absolute lettuce!
- Comment on Liz Truss to launch ‘uncensored’ social network to counter mainstream media 5 weeks ago:
pork-markets.co.uk
- Comment on I can't believe it 5 weeks ago:
We didn’t just steal the spices, we stole cooks too. Eg, our first curry house was 1810, run by a Bengali chap. So we didn’t piss about with traditonal English dishes to get our spice fix, we just went out for a ruby instead.
- Comment on Universal theme park for Bedfordshire confirmed by Starmer 1 month ago:
“How much British steel was used in the end?”
“Approximately none, give or take a kg or two.”
“But didn’t you agree to use British steel where possible.”
“Absolutely, and we did. Where possible. As agreed.”
“But why didn’t you use more?”
“It wasn’t possible, I’d like to be clear on that point.”
“Why wasn’t it possible?”
“Chinese steel was cheaper.” - Comment on Anon makes life choices 1 month ago:
I’m in my mid-50s and pretty financially successful (enough that I’m thinking about retiring soon). My entire career gameplan has always been ‘seemed like a good idea at the time’ combined with ‘someone I know put in a good word for me’. I’ve never got a job from a cold interview.
Moral of this story - network like your future career depends on it!
- Comment on Anon orders food 1 month ago:
I did a lot of clubbing in the '90s. Once, a beautiful girl came up to me and said: “You’re gorgeous” and then ran off. Thing is, though, I was in my early 30s at the time and she looked about 16. So, obviously, I didn’t pursue her or try and make a thing of it, or follow up. But that’s stuck with me for over 20 years. I can still hear it in my head.
- Comment on Caption this. 1 month ago:
… and enhance.
- Comment on big sausage boie 1 month ago:
‘vaguely’ is doing a shitload of work in that sentence.
- Comment on RISE FROM YOUR GRAVE 1 month ago:
And with strange aeons even… wait, what the fuck is that?
- Comment on Blobfish 1 month ago:
Can we. for once, not bring Trump into everything?
- Comment on Sir Gareth Southgate: Boys need role models, not gaming and porn 2 months ago:
When’s he due? I might make time to pop along and see him.
- Comment on Sir Gareth Southgate: Boys need role models, not gaming and porn 2 months ago:
Jesus is still alive, His resurrection and ascension was witnessed.
Dude’s been hiding for a while then. Probably out of embarrassment.
- Comment on THE KUDU 2 months ago:
If you remove his skull he will definitely die naturally.
- Comment on Kettle Chips 2 months ago:
She’s out-stretched her humble origins alongside Barry Shitpeas, that’s for sure.
- Comment on San Jose Cochran Frog 🐸 2 months ago:
I mean, I lick every frog and toad I find, but this guy is getting popped right in the mouth.
