Hossenfeffer

@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Unhealthy food is costing UK more than £260bn per year, report says⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩:

  Mmmm, the sweet, succulent taste of chlorinated chicken.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Unhealthy food is costing UK more than £260bn per year, report says⁩ ⁨⁨15⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩:

  Peanuts are probably one of your five-a-day or some such so, yeah, five deep-fried Snickers a day sounds like solid nutritional science.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Unhealthy food is costing UK more than £260bn per year, report says⁩ ⁨⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩:

  Yeah, yeah, yeah, but are deep-fried Bounty Bars on the healthy list or the unhealthy list? How are we supposed to know?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨MOREL DILEMMA⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩:

  If only the tram could have kind of scooped up the morels and taken them on board… but there wasn’t mush room inside!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨It ain't much, but it's a livin'⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  I think it’s a ‘q’.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anon remembers 7th grade⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Tommy Cooper. A bit old school these days but a really funny guy. He specialised in doing magic tricks really badly, so when he died people really thought it was part of the show.

  Here’s a classis Spoon jar jar spoon.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨sealed with tears⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Wait, what? When I see PI I think Private Investigator. Is this something else?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨pod racing⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Came back to upvote after closing the tab and then realising the quality of this comment.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Enhance!!!⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Why, I otter…!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨somebody has to do it!⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Beavers: the Nestlé of the animal world.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Post Office: Fujitsu boss 'does not know' if Horizon is reliable⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Drop us a hundred grand, Paul, and I’ll let you know if it’s reliable or not.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Nine in ten honey samples from UK retailers fail authenticity test⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Bless the free market, making everything better!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Asshole Lab Rat⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Pinky: Gee, Brain #42. What are we going to do tonight?

  The Brain #42: The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨10 Ways to Destroy the World⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  You are “DOOM!”

  Can’t you read? It’s right there.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Plans to ban smoking outside hospitals and schools in England⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Fuck vapers who billow out enormous clouds of nauseating, fetid, fruit guffs. I don’t want to smell your straw-fucking-berry exhalation, you self-absorbed wankers. I’d rather lick my grandfather’s pipe.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨First case of Avian influenza confirmed in poultry in England this Autumn⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  I’ve got the pox, so that’s a pretty clear sign that the end times are upon us.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Plans to ban smoking outside hospitals and schools in England⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Shocking. I have a small studio flat (it’s not much but comfortable) in a surgical operating theatre but will they let me incinerate tyres in an old oil drum? No, they will not!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Plans to ban smoking outside hospitals and schools in England⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Fuck vapes and fuck vapers. I don’t want to breathe your cloud of toxic fake-fruit-smelling shit.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Bear⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Surely you mean pic-er-nic basket?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I have no idea where to post this rule⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  That poor bastard yak (or whatever) wandered into the wrong canyon that day.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Tradition⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Again, this is not the original, but I seem to recall seeing it in the late 90s.

  And this was definitely 90s.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Kitty⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Cheetahs don’t have retractable claws, therefore dog.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Former British colonies owe ‘debt of gratitude’, says Robert Jenrick⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Is he sure?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Balls⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I feel kink-shamed. I love watching a bald-headed linesman. Mmm. Nnnnnrgh!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Balls⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Amazeballs!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Row as Starmer suggests landlords and shareholders are not ‘working people’⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Of course they’re not working people. They are leveraging capital to give them an income. That is not the same as chopping wood and carrying water.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I'd have to hear her argument, but...⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Oops. Yup, utter failed to put Bs! Put it down to not having had enough coffee today!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I'd have to hear her argument, but...⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Thanos’ plan was unmitigated garbage anyway.

  Humanity reached 4M in 1975 and hit 8M in 2022, less than 50 years later. Assuming 50% of humanity died when Thanos snapped his fingers 50 years later we’d be back to 8M people again.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Cheating alleged after men’s world conker champion found with steel chestnut | Sport⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  That’s just not cricket!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Gregg Wallace: Masterchef host denies inappropriate sexual comments⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I mean, I wouldn’t be surprised.