The story doesn’t make sense. He only ever does two, three would be ridiculous.
Toot toot
Submitted 8 months ago by sjmarf@sh.itjust.works to [deleted]
https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/040e25c9-3763-4fe5-bc6c-17e2705688e3.jpeg
Comments
NoForwardslashS@sopuli.xyz 8 months ago
some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 8 months ago
I’m gonna start a rumor that there’s a different boss in a different division that does four.
RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Still better than the boss that drops an SBD, and then whispers ^“toot” in your ear.
tetris11@lemmy.ml 8 months ago
Legend has it that the higher up you go, the deeper it gets. The penthouse doesn’t even have an office in it, just a single solitary toilet perpetually occupied by a mysterious being known only to higher ups as The One Who Knocks
explodicle@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
I read this in Captain Holt’s voice
AeonFelis@lemmy.world 8 months ago
lobut@lemmy.ca 8 months ago
RDJ really has some big boots to fill.
agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
RDJ really has some big
bootstoots to fill.Ftfy
GluWu@lemm.ee 8 months ago
While at your desk make direct and sustained eye contact in silence. Once you know you have him gently say “poop poop” then violently shit yourself. Everything is about shitting, except shitting. Shitting is about power.
wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 8 months ago
this whole thread, I’m crying
tetris11@lemmy.ml 8 months ago
I’m not sure you’d win. This is a man with decades of Pavlovian training, who can literally fart on command given the right keyword. It’s a pretty wild gamble to assume that “poop poop” is not in this repertoire.
ivanafterall@lemmy.world 8 months ago
The moment you hear that third Saiyan “POOOOP” and realize you’ve miscalculated.
sfxrlz@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Are you sure it’s not the other way around? Maybe he just says toot toot to be sure it’s not a turd arriving…
buddascrayon@lemmy.world 8 months ago
I’m pretty sure the oncoming fart triggers the “toot toot”, not the phrase triggering a fart. However you may be correct about the pavlovian aspect.
Glitterbomb@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Heres what you do - go to the bank today, get $50 in pennies…
AsudoxDev@programming.dev 8 months ago
Dominance is the key
Neon@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Everything is about shitting -> Power is about shitting
Power is about shitting -> shitting is about power
Repeat
salvaria@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 months ago
Wasn’t someone saying “toot toot” and farting a part of Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide? Lol
iamericandre@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Memory unlocked
cm0002@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Confirmed, OOPs boss is Timmy Toot Toot as an adult lmfao
ReynT1me@lemmy.one 8 months ago
That show holds up so well I swear to god
Vespair@lemm.ee 8 months ago
And just like that my suspension of disbelief in this story is shattered. I hope you’re happy.
AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.world 8 months ago
I had a female employee come to me to complain years ago. She had had a disagreement with an older male employee (thankfully not mine) some weeks prior, and since then, every time he walked by her cube, he’d pause at her doorway, fart, and then keep walking without saying anything.
She at least was aware of how absolutely ridiculous it was, but legitimately didn’t think it was something she should have to deal with. One of the stranger management issues.
DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 8 months ago
Pretty textbook workplace harassment but I’m not sure how you’d prove it. Tape him with a clearly displayed fart face? Be sure to label one of stills with a red circle and a line saying “fart face”
AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.world 8 months ago
She wasn’t interested in suing, she just wanted him to stop farting in her doorway. I didn’t know the guy, so I started by talking to his manager, who talked to the guy. Sounds like he initially tried to deny it, but in a way that made it clear he was doing it on purpose. His boss was pretty clear that it wouldn’t be tolerated and it never happened again.
Some people are so weird and petty.
Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
I don’t know which one was right or wrong, but my god… that’s legendary level, hilarious passive aggression.
mryessir@lemmy.sdf.org 8 months ago
He may have felt comfortable around her . . .
Agent641@lemmy.world 8 months ago
We dont talk about the mythical fourth toot.
tetris11@lemmy.ml 8 months ago
Japan is still recovering from the last two
ikidd@lemmy.world 8 months ago
There’s blood in that one.
chiliedogg@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Olhonestjim@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Record the farts. Sample the audio. Create music.
cammoblammo@lemmy.world 8 months ago
The copyright issues could be interesting.
Agent641@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Theres a band called the Toot Toot Toots:
korazail@lemmy.myserv.one 8 months ago
It does indeed. Thanks for sharing this, and I’m now a fan. Sadly, they seem to have split up after rebranding as ‘Twin Beasts’. I found the album for this on bandcamp: thetoottoottoots.bandcamp.com/album/outlaws ; and the rest of the album is great too after sampling a few tracks.
That lead vocalist is mostly incomprehensible, but his voice is awesome.
Kroma@lemmy.world 8 months ago
??? Profit
caboose2006@lemmy.ca 8 months ago
I literally laughed so hard I cried.
coaxil@lemm.ee 8 months ago
I laughed so hard I legit farted.
Jano@sopuli.xyz 8 months ago
I didn’t laugh, but I shat myself to compensate.
tetris11@lemmy.ml 8 months ago
I chuckled softly and did a mild burp.
NikkiDimes@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Dude, if my boss did this, I would never recover. I think I would laugh until I asphyxiated myself.
Eczpurt@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Straight up Beetlejuiced a nasty fart into existence.
Jerkface@lemmy.world 8 months ago
It was, in fact, showtime.
halvar@lemm.ee 8 months ago
toot. toot. toot. TOOOOOT
and that’s how the universe got created kids
Aurenkin@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
And on the fourth toot, God evacuated the heaven and the earth.
MeatPilot@lemmy.world 8 months ago
That’s a shart
wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Baby shart do do dodo dodo
Vespair@lemm.ee 8 months ago
I mean yes, as far as I can tell most of the universe is, in fact, shit.
buddascrayon@lemmy.world 8 months ago
“he only ever does two, don’t be ridiculous”
This is the most British response to a situation like this you could possibly get.
nawordar@lemmy.ml 8 months ago
I learned to dab while sneezing back when the meme wasn’t dead yet. I got so used to it, that I do that to this day. At least my palms are clean
BigPotato@lemmy.world 8 months ago
I learned to sneeze like that long before dabbing was a thing and it wasn’t until someone commented that I just dabbed on them that it connected those dots.
Regardless, I still sneeze in my elbow.
EnderMB@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Haha, I thought I was the only one!
I started doing it to annoy my wife, but now I still do it, and it’s taking considerable concentration to not dab when I sneeze.
MattTheProgrammer@lemmy.world 8 months ago
If he starts doing “chugga chugga” you really need to watch out
nebulaone@lemmy.world 8 months ago
The correct amount is four chuggas.
MattTheProgrammer@lemmy.world 8 months ago
I find any variation of 2^n^ chuggas to be acceptable personally
lugal@lemmy.world 8 months ago
I love how the last full paragraph shifts the narrative from tooting in general is strange to normalizing 2 toots, but a 3rd one???
i_stole_ur_taco@lemmy.ca 8 months ago
I had a manager once who had 3 small kids and he rarely caught himself when he excused himself from a meeting to “go potty”.
Sway_Chameleon@lemmy.world 8 months ago
I worked for a prof who prides himself on being an absolutely disgusting human being. Everyone has stories about talking with him in his office and then lifting his ass on one side to let rip. To make things worse, he had a fridge in his lab that he filled with booze and the stinkiest cheeses he could find, so his breath and farts were so bad they could make paint peel.
There’s crazy stories about him traveling to an international conference and puking on the guy sitting beside him and shitting his pants on the same flight.
Then on a university sponsored trip (with other viology profs/researchers) to recruit new students and research collaboration, he drank some brown bubbling “wine” that he vought from a street vendor, that everyone else refused to drink, he shat his hotel bed 3 nights in a row and every time the hotel tried to charge him for it he claimed it was just chocolate that he had been eating in bed. They then proceeded to a remote research station up on a mtn and when they arrived he rushed to the bathroom and broke the toilet immediately. They had to spend close to a week there, with no functioning toilet.
Hope your boss never reaches those levels of depravity, lol.
Malfeasant@lemm.ee 8 months ago
Fight fire with fire.
judooochp@lemmy.world 8 months ago
This is a shitpost? This boss is my spirit animal.
xia@lemmy.sdf.org 8 months ago
Toot-o-meter.
Maggoty@lemmy.world 8 months ago
If that’s the only issue? Ignore it and carry on. Consider yourself lucky.
zcd@lemmy.ca 8 months ago
This is so fake. Are we supposed to believe that the boss can predict when a fart is going to be extra nasty and adding an extra toot when he ALWAYS only does two???
KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 months ago
move out of the UK
bobs_monkey@lemm.ee 8 months ago
You are officially at war, beans are your friend
NutWrench@lemmy.ml 8 months ago
Three toots is enemy action.
DempstersBox@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Test toot!
azalty@jlai.lu 8 months ago
Why remove the credit for the OP?
HexesofVexes@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Well, next time I need to fart while lecturing I know what I’m doing…
Jaeger86@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Record that shit, and watch the internet roast him
etchinghillside@reddthat.com 8 months ago
You unlock legendary at 4 toots.
eager_eagle@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Only 0.04% of employees have this
callouscomic@lemm.ee 8 months ago
Is there a strategy guide online for this trophy?
Furbag@lemmy.world 8 months ago
Holy shit, I’m putting this one on my Steam showcase!
MehBlah@lemmy.world 8 months ago
The forth one is always a shart.
milicent_bystandr@lemm.ee 8 months ago
Sally forth!
Assman@sh.itjust.works 8 months ago
Maybe for you, rookie
Malfeasant@lemm.ee 8 months ago
You say that like it’s a bad thing…