i_stole_ur_taco

@i_stole_ur_taco@lemmy.ca

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨leading ai company⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Yeah and my company has the best dev team because we resolve all the critical incidents we cause by shipping buggy code.

  Some of these other loser companies don’t even have incidents!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Kirkland strong⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  My company hired him as a keynote speaker for a company all hands event. He talked for about half an hour and then hosted a fake Jeopardy round with some of the staff asking company and city trivia.

  He was charming, gracious, interesting, and funny throughout.

  I hate everything about that company and their leadership, but Ken… Ken was a good decision. An awesome dude.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨This is my 1000th comment from the feddit.org server 🥳⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I’m glad you were able to turn this into a win.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Better Watch Out Eddy⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I dunno, but there’s a guy in prison somewhere in Georgia who’d been trying to make collect calls to talk to them for months. I never got to learn more because the calls always came in super early in the morning when my phone was on silent, so it was always just voicemails.

  This is a facility of the Georgia Bureau of Prisons with a collect call from <insert recorded voice> DWAYNE STABSALOT. Press 2 to accept the connection.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Better Watch Out Eddy⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I hope you mess with them every chance you get.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I did not look up how progressive lenses really work before getting some.⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Same. I despise them and refuse to wear them.

  I bought a pair of reading glasses at the dollar store and just pretend I don’t need to see in the distance.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Y'ALL GOT ANY OF THEM HALLOPINERS⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Exceedingly kind of you to assume they can read a ballot.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Pure Shame⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  I noticed a few weeks ago that a lot of people were pooping and taking so much goddamn time in the bathroom. Like, what’s going on?

  Oh, they were sneaking in to write on my birthday card. It’s even a tradition and it was my birthday party but no, my stupid fucking brain decided the logical explanation was that everyone had diarrhea.

  So I guess I’m the reason party guy has to worry.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨toasty⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Yes, that’s right, I ordered the Mount Doom soufflé.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I did the math to prove that Shaq is a woman.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Mmmmm except Shaq is huge so he’s already basically 2 guys. So with his shares, instead of 0.5 guys it just cancels out to 1.

  QED Shaq == Shaq, no?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨When you are really dumb and don't realize it⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  this ceiling

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨How much spacing while stopped at a red light?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  I was taught this in driving school. If you’re the last car slowing down, leave a gap of a few car lengths so if a car behind you is going to hit you, it gives you some room to escape either to move up, or enough room to turn out of the lane.

  That sounds like some kind of superhero fantasy to me. In what scenario am I about to be rear ended and have enough time to move my car safely?

  I usually leave enough space that I could turn into another lane without having to reverse, so if the car in front of me stalls I can go around without too much fuss. That’s like half a car length at best.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Seriously, you're probably dehydrated⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  This meme made me thirsty.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Nothing more to be said⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Ohhh I thought it was Derek Chauvin and thought it was especially shitposty.

  They sure all do look alike in orange.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨It's a rule⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  That’s too early. Should be delaying that a bit so the cord blood drains first.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Hell⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  At work this request means “I’m going to ramble for 45 minutes because I don’t understand it enough to form a question”.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨when you thought it couldn't get any better⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Where’s Picasa??

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The Washington Post is planning to let amateur writers submit columns — with the help of AI⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  My company (not in media) keeps bleating we need to adopt AI everywhere we can because otherwise “we’ll get left behind”.

  No, clarifying questions are not entertained.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Every news result on duckduckgo links to MSN⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  This is weird. The links all show other news agencies, and you see the same at the top of the page when you follow the links. Is MSN re-hosting the stories from all these agencies or are the agencies opting in for this?

  Nothing like seeing an Associated Press link and having it open on msn.com!! 🤡

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Fresh⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  If I were in a fire and suffocating and somehow had a long tube in a bathroom, I think I’d stick the hose out the window and breathe that water instead.

  And if I found myself:

  • trapped in a bathroom
  • suffocating due to smoke from a fire
  • i have a long flexible tube
  • no windows in the bathroom AND
  • I’m somehow not going to burn to death

  Then I’ll just fucking die. It’s fine. That’s such an edge case I’m not gonna worry about it.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Just got charged for reading it⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  My condo building just got rid of the company that meters our water. After years of this we could finally break the contract.

  My water bill usage was something like $15/mo and they had an admin fee of $13/mo. In a building of like 150 apartments, those guys were raking in like $2k a month from us for keeping their automated shit plugged in.

  The managers said they would just stop metering and our monthly fees would pay the bill. After a year, they would adjust our monthly rates to balance it out.

  They never had to balance it out - that’s how little the overall water usage cost was.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨This section of Jim Carrey's Wikipedia Article⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  ONE OF US! ONE OF US!

  Except vastly beloved and successful.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Another one!⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  It must say TREY and he’s been squabbling with the South Park guys again.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Great!⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Did you know that an adult human’s intestines are so long that if you took them out and unrolled them, the person would die?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Don't try this at home⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Yeah. I’m just being a useless pedant in a shitpost because the author wrote / instead of +.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Don't try this at home⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  root canal/filling

  I dunno for sure but I feel like you should decide which one you’re gonna do before you start setting up. Especially if you’re DIYing it on the floor.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Low flow toilets⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Sounds like you need a poop knife.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨If it's good enough to keep your house warm, it's good enough to keep your insides warm⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Oh that’s just my dad. He’ll tell you when you should be wearing gloves or eye protection, and then exempt himself from that rule.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Hot dogs. Fuck those guys.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Choose one⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Double peen obviously.