Assman

@Assman@sh.itjust.works

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Just put a spray tan over it⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  You don’t have to be so dramatic.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨A tense moment.⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Yeah, he’s on first

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Today's reaction⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Insurance ceo, the worst kind

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨A tense moment.⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I would like to name my very rare disease “a very rare disease”. It’s what Abbott and Costello would do

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Good to see AAFES looking out for my health⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Relevant username

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Gnorts⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  That’s one small step for gnorts

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨It hurts⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  A fucking DORK?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Muscle Chart⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Y’all ever look at your phone too long and then your fuckwaffle hurts for three days?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨fighting the elderly⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Movie first, Saturday afternoon. Next it was a dinner date, and then board game night with her friends. You know, to make sure everyone is compatible.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Time for a road trip⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Ass Hill, you say 👀

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Bottom of the Ocean⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Crust? Mantle? We’re talking about the ocean, not pies or furniture.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨wrappers⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Imagine you’re climbing a tree and I you get to the top and grab this mfer

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Time to go to the Soup Store⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Learn how to make your own bone broth. Shits fucking incredible.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Is it expected to tip for furniture deliveries?⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  They can charge more for it if it’s “above and beyond”.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨‘Gladiator 2’ Reviews Are In, And Better Than ‘Gladiator’⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  No thanks. 20 year old movies don’t need sequels.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Hey, smoothbrain!⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Blubber

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anon is jealous⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Damn, a person made a bunch of money by saying something amusing on camera? That’s crazy bro. Probably the first time that’s ever happened.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Don't look up⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Now kiss

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anon doesn't tip⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Pretty sure they’re only guaranteed minimum wage if they don’t receive tips. So yeah if you’re cool with your waiter making $7 per hour instead of $3, don’t tip.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Hot Dinner 🍆 🍑 🥵⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Bruh, 13th amendment. It’s illegal.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨American house⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  I always eat a few of their bullets. That’s called the Dad Tax

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨That cereal ain't right⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Put some sugar on those Wheaties boy

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Ladies Beware!⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Catch and release

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨"I'm hungry and thirsty at the same time what do I do???"⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  You mean milk soup

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I don't trust like that.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Maybe this is hippie talk, but I simply don’t bother any animal. I don’t need an article to tell me they deserve to exist.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨K-Drama moment⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  The apprentice has become the master

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Waterboy⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  This one speaks wisdom

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Redneck warning system⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  This guy larms

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Thanks Jupiter, You're a real one!⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  How else would you make asteroid cheese

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Mine's a Juicer⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Psh when I open random stuck drawers all I find is jars of teeth