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Don’t you lie to me

⁨70⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨cannedtuna@lemmy.world⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/afb2dd81-de2f-4def-9475-8b1435920ecc.png

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Comments

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  • sundray@lemmus.org ⁨14⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

    Wallet that fat on the ground? Someone was passing counterfeit bills.

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  • DScratch@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Buy 1GB of Ram

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    • hakunawazo@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

      * 1MB

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      • nexguy@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

        *1KB

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  • Sanctus@anarchist.nexus ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Wym? He clearly put this in my path 🙏

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  • ToiletFlushShowerScream@piefed.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

    Do those things that Christians would never do. You know - help the poor and immigrants.

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  • HikingVet@lemmy.ca ⁨19⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

    Bike, or camera store.

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  • thesohoriots@lemmy.world ⁨19⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

    Ask for forgiveness. Easier than asking for permission.

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  • guille2a@chachara.club ⁨20⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

    Return it, no doubts

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  • lightnsfw@reddthat.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

    Last time I found a wallet full of money I returned it to the owner, so I guess probably that. Stupid conscience…

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  • Angryhumanoid@fedinsfw.app ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Donate it to charity. And I am definitely a charitable cause.

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  • wuffah@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

    1. Put the wallet in a safe place.

    2. Locate the owner.

    3. Kill them.

    4. Pay off credit cards.

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    • cannedtuna@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

      Awfully kind of you to pay off their credit cards so they can rest in peace without the shackles of debt.

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  • Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I’d probably listen to Admiral Ackbar, and walk on by.

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    • tmyakal@infosec.pub ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

      Absolutely this. NYPD used to set up “stings” where they’d place a wallet like this down and then arrest the first person to pick it up. Doesn’t matter if you were going to take it to the police station to turn it in or not, they just arrest you on the spot.

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      • cattywampas@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

        For what crime?

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    • Manticore@lemmy.nz ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

      Yeah no normal person is carrying that much cash. Its either a trap or a crime.

      The closest normal reason I can think of is a poorer person having to pay rent in cash to their underhanded landlord. Such a loss is devastating.

      But the police probably aren’t getting it all back to them though, esp since theyd have to go in and ask (AFTER dropping it off), including explaining their carry amount.

      …so I’d rather look for contact info of some kind, but then we’re back to trap or crime.

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    • gigastasio@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I thought that was Dionne Warwick.

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  • cheese_greater@lemmy.world ⁨29⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

    What money—err—wallet

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  • CIA_chatbot@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

    Hookers and Blow, as God intended

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    • Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

      Amen, brother!

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  • alekwithak@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

    Immediately assume there’s some nearby surveillance and take Akbar’s advice.

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  • Grostleton@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I mean, apparently I can just go apologize to some dude in a little box at church and get off scott free so…

    Yoink.

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  • vapeloki@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

    Looks like a bunch of worthless paper to me

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  • BallShapedMan@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I’d pee on it to mark my territory

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    • wake@quokk.au ⁨54⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

      On the internet no one knows you’re a dog.

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      • BallShapedMan@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

        Shhh! Secret!

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    • BallShapedMan@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Oh, god, not dog. My bad.

      In that case I’d pee on it to mark my territory.

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      • Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

        This is perfect for the NYPD entrapment operations mentioned by another comment under this post. Imagine their surprise when they realize they have ro deal with a urine-soaked wallet now. You’d probably still get arrested for disturbing the peace or indecency or whatever charge that jurisdiction uses to arrest people without an actual cause, but it would be worth it.

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  • DataCrime@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Image

    😅

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    • mrmisses@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

      The fuck is that?

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      • DataCrime@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

        IIRC the OP said that the bank forgot to remove the dye pack from the envelope when they withdrew a large amount of cash. Might just be a tracker though as I’m not seeing any dye.

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    • JasonDJ@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

      An old $20. Wow. Haven’t seen one of those in forever.

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      • DataCrime@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

        Kinda supports the notion of it being an old device that just got forgotten.

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  • homes@piefed.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

    As a child? That would’ve been in the mid-80s to early-90s, so of course I would buy Apple stock. By the time I graduated college, I’d be a millionaire just living off the dividends.

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  • Klear@piefed.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

    Thank Him, of course

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  • mrfriki@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

    Look for the hidden camera.

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  • My_IFAKs___gone@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

    Without touching it, stake it out. Let other people passing by know about it. Maybe ask someone else to stake it out so I could go make a sign that says “Stack of Cash, found Unmonitored. If you know the owner, plz notify her or him. Possibly a police sting op, handle at your own risk.”

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  • Hackworth@piefed.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    As a child of god? Burn it.

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  • MutantTailThing@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

    Cram it up my ass.

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  • socsa@piefed.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

    Suck ten dicks

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  • mrmisses@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

    Donate it to AOC’s presidential run

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  • Kowowow@lemmy.ca ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I’d try to find the owner because I’ve never had anyone claim money I’ve found after that though buying a cool sword and off a car lone

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  • hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

    New mountain bike

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  • KC_Royalz@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

    Clearly God wants me to have that. Wait that’s what a Christian would say.

    I’ll find the original owner

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