Open Menu
AllLocalCommunitiesAbout
lotide
AllLocalCommunitiesAbout
Login

I once did a toke at a party and then I died true story

⁨647⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net⁩ to ⁨memes@sopuli.xyz⁩

https://slrpnk.net/pictrs/image/723f4351-a767-4e48-a9bd-90deaae4b6fd.jpeg

source

Comments

Sort:hotnewtop
  • riodoro1@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    This is the amount I drop on the carpet when opening my grinder.

    source
    • orcrist@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
      [deleted]
      source
      • tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        and he just drank 156 beers

        eightieskids.com/156-beers-inside-andre-the-giant…

        Image

        source
        • -> View More Comments
    • Venicon@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Usually I drop onto the carpet after opening Grindr

      source
      • Iheartcheese@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        hi

        source
    • SomeGuy69@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Were you ever tempted to smoke the carpet?

      source
    • Damage@feddit.it ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Ew carpet

      source
  • harrys_balzac@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I’m sorry you died. Seems like your recovery is going well.

    source
  • Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    those teens didn’t die, and in fact rose up 3 hours later to eat everything in the house

    source
    • halvar@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      They rose up 3 days later

      source
  • dankm@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I once caught gay from a used marijuana needle. Never again. Took a lot of prayer and fasting to make that go away. Ban it. Ban it all!

    (/s, of course. Shouldn’t be necessary but this is the internet…)

    source
    • Thebeardedsinglemalt@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Did you freebase the devil’s lettuce from the needle or did you huff it from a used crack pipe you found in a medical refuse bin

      source
      • kittenzrulz123@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        The evil electric cabbage

        source
      • radicalautonomy@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        I know someone who died from huffing heroin pills.

        source
      • z00s@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        You gotta get one of those used crack pipes, otherwise you’re missing out on the extra flavour

        source
    • frezik@midwest.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      That’s it, I’ll never do marijuana injections again.

      source
    • Daxtron2@startrek.website ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      You should’ve just donean MMS enema, would’ve cleared the gay right up

      source
  • UncleGrandPa@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    5 lies in only 3 sentences…

    Impressive

    source
    • FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      They left out that you need to inject it with a needle

      source
      • some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        And it’ll make you a terrorist.

        source
        • -> View More Comments
  • Kyrgizion@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    It’s only deadly if you inject the nug directly into your veins though.

    source
    • Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Snorting it is the only safe way, I hear.

      source
    • slickgoat@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Luckily I only inject directly into the penis. Not mine, but definitely a penis.

      source
    • cows_are_underrated@feddit.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      But don’t grind it down first.

      source
    • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Well yeah. If you cause a blockage, and then a rupture, I guess you could cause internal bleeding that if ignored would eventually kill you.

      However, thats just suicide with more painful, longer lasting, and confusing steps.

      source
    • grandel@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Tbf, almost anything will kill you, once injected into your veins.

      source
  • yokonzo@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Bitch that’s barely a gram

    source
    • over_clox@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      That mini bag probably weighs more than the micro nugget it contains.

      Yay microplastics!

      source
      • jaybone@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        I just smoke the microplastics and inject the weed into my nutsack.

        source
    • Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      No, it’s an eighth of a pound. Didn’t you see the baked in text?

      Perhaps you have already succumbed to the reefer madness.

      source
    • don@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      NOT TO A CHRISTIAN AGAINST the POT WHAT ARE YOU ACTUALLY INSANE

      DO YOU FUCKING USE the POT?!??!

      source
      • over_clox@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        I piss in the pot, I smoke from a bowl…

        source
        • -> View More Comments
      • riot@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        I personally prefer a good pan.

        source
    • BowtiesAreCool@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      It’s probably .25g in my professional opinion

      source
      • cows_are_underrated@feddit.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        That’s way less than .25g I would even go for .1 or .15g

        source
  • AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    That’s not even one whole marijuana

    source
  • fckreddit@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I smoked way more than that my first and only time. Somehow I am still alive. Maybe I died without knowing?

    source
    • Jojowski@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      You are undead now, just like Jesus

      source
    • NocturnalMorning@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      It’s all a fever dream.

      source
  • huquad@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    This actually happened to me the other day. Completely died…

    I got better

    source
    • NocturnalMorning@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I got turned into a newt!

      source
      • RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        a NEWT??

        source
        • -> View More Comments
    • cupcakezealot@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      mom dad barts dead

      ahhhh

      thats right dead tired of not being high

      source
  • Got_Bent@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I tried via search and failed to prove it, but I’m nearly certain this was an old Facebook satire page.

    source
    • xantoxis@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      I feel like “Christians against the pot” gives the game away.

      source
  • CeruleanRuin@lemmings.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    No no longer think it’s cool. Now I think it’s AWESOME.

    source
  • Snapz@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    My grandma fell and some of the pot slipped out of a stranger’s pocket. It hit her right on the middle of her butt and then she’s dead now. She tells me about it every day and is crying now as I type this, smh.

    source
  • phorq@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    It’s in a plastic bag because microplastics are safer than letting such a large dose of the marijuana leech into your skin

    source
  • pH3ra@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I should have died 6000 times

    source
    • monsterpiece42@reddthat.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      🎵 And I should have died 6000 more 🎶

      source
      • Malfeasant@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Just to be the man who died 12000 times to … rise up at your door? Bbbrains…

        source
        • -> View More Comments
    • thisbenzingring@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Time to try again!

      source
      • pH3ra@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Yeah, tonight I’m going to do a shitload of fact checking

        source
        • -> View More Comments
  • Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Just check for fentanyl

    source
    • over_clox@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      True that.

      Or stick with a trusted supplier. And even then, still be cautious.

      source
      • cows_are_underrated@feddit.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Or grow it yourself.

        source
    • maniel@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Yeah better bring it to the local PD for them to test it

      source
  • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Jesus fucking christ

    source
    • Comment105@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Why are Christians such prolific liars, anyways?

      source
      • Aussiemandeus@aussie.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        Cause they all learnt from the same book of lies

        source
      • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

        You know, I think it’s actually down to the idea of being a church based religion. These little niches of worship, combined with the rigid idea of commandments.

        This, imo, sets up a community where appearances outweigh actually adherence to the religion. It’s more important to be seen as christian than to live christianity.

        You’ve got one guy (usually, there are women that are leaders, but it’s a minority) up in front preaching about adhering to scriptures that are hard to interpret without a lot of thought because the scripture is badly translated from millennia old writings.

        This creates a need to follow the leader as much as the scripture itself. So people attempt to conform to what is said in church as opposed to in the bible.

        When you’re lapping up the pre-chewed meat like that, it becomes performative rather than religious. You have to show you’re christian by following the crowd.

        Since there’s a certain degree of gullibility necessary to have faith in the first place and a certain degree of imagination to ignore any flaws or outright impossibilities within the religion, it becomes acceptable to lie not only to one’s self, but to everyone else.

        Belief in the unprovable is fine for what it is, but when you start to value faith over action and reality, the kind of self inhibition humans are supposed to develop against lying becomes fragile at best, and broken at worst.

        It isn’t every christian for sure. This is about the worst case members. Many of them were indoctrinated so young that the kind of lying we’re talking about is engrained as the norm. christians in general are no more or less prone to the kind of lies everyone indulges in at least occasionally. It’s this kind of lie, being used to push a religious take on something the religion doesn’t actually cover that becomes over represented.

        Anecdote:

        My high school had an actual bible class as an elective option, bible history. There was also a club based around it.

        Being a curious and open minded sort, I went to a few meetings with friends that were christian. One of them, the last I went to, they were organizing a record burning. Now, this was in the early nineties, ans everything they would burn would be releasing toxic fumes, and the answer to that was that God would protect them.

        But, that’s not the part that relates to this. One of the members was up there “witnessing” essentially about “boom boom” music being of the devil. Now, for anyone unaware, there was a fairly big trend in the eighties and nineties of electronic music that was bass forward, with the most famous sub genre being miami bass. You’d have sampled pieces, with or without vocals, laid over a bass heavy rhythm.

        So, nothing different in principle from instrumental jazz, or symphonic pieces.

        But this was somehow worse than marching band, which was people playing music over a heavy beat.

        I think you can imagine how well that went over when someone asked “how is bass music different from marching band?”, when the girl doing the talking was in band.

        There’s nothing in the bible against music. The whole thing is made up and predicated on some vague principle of “moral values” that people will be converted against by a nice beat that they listen to as they drive.

        That’s the essence of why christians lie so much. Someone gets an idea in their head, and if the bible doesn’t have a reason to be against it, they’ll start making chains of “what if” until they link to something that is in there. Usually sex, but not always.

        source
  • Kolanaki@yiffit.net ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    An 8th of an 8th of an 8th.

    source
    • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      Enough fentanyl to kill a precinct of LA’s finest.

      source
    • RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      This actually does look like about one toke though.

      source
    • Nomecks@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

      That dealer ain’t cutting it up righteously

      source
  • Snapz@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    “You wouldn’t download the pot…”

    source
  • jaybone@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Are those fingers circumcised?

    source
  • SpicyAnt@mander.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    La lechuga del diablo.

    source
  • Default_Defect@midwest.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I took a huge bong hit not knowing their shit was potent AF and got sent to the shadow realm once, does that count?

    source
  • fox2263@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    The pot

    source
  • TheDarksteel94@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Yeeah, this just has to be satire…

    source
  • mortemtyrannis@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Chris! Is that a weed?! I’m calling the police!!!

    source
  • danc4498@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    That’s a huge hand.

    source
  • cupcakezealot@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    the pot

    source
  • troglodytis@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Damnit, Jesus! How many “then I died” stories you gonna come up with?

    source
  • smokebuddy@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    Must be the inflation I hear so much about in those Trump ads on TV showing Mansions and Gas Canisters and Doritos bags shrinking before my very eyes!

    source
  • lemmyviking@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

    I toked more of that last night - I’m still alive.

    source
-> View More Comments