When Anon breaks up with her they will claim he was a demon send to test their faith.
Loosing my religion
Submitted 17 hours ago by slaacaa@lemmy.world to greentext@sh.itjust.works
https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/fcb1a3a8-5fbb-4e35-9448-080cc094f24c.png
Comments
zaphod@sopuli.xyz 16 hours ago
VaalaVasaVarde@sopuli.xyz 14 hours ago
There’s only one way: Anon should simulate fainting like the mom and then explain that god told them they have to break up.
VitoRobles@lemmy.today 13 hours ago
Nothing pisses religious nutjobs more than telling them that God spoke to you and said you were holier than they are.
agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 6 hours ago
“You guys need a priest to tell you what God wants? Why, he doesn’t check in with you personally? What did you do to piss him off?”
frog@feddit.uk 12 hours ago
Speak it in Latin and claim you don’t know what Latin even is. Then use Google Translate like some time later and tell her.
If she ask any questions just say the usual, “God works in mysterious ways”, “maybe this is a test from God like in the book of Job”, or “are you questioning my faith or yours?”
QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works 4 hours ago
Babble nonsense. They call it “speaking in tongues” and think it’s super legit
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 13 hours ago
I’d wake up and say “God says that he’s pissed that you keep doing dangerous stuff, and expecting Him to pull your sorry asses out of the fire. He says it ends now, and you’re on your own. If you pass out in the hot summer sun, you’re going to die, and your constant annoyances mean that your place in heaven is not secure. He’s not real thrilled about have to live in close proximity, whee you’ll be dropping by every day for coffee. He thinks Satan ought be able to settle y’all down a bit. Just something to think about…oh yeah, Sweetie? We’re over. Bye!”
JackbyDev@programming.dev 10 hours ago
“I think the demon attached itself from you. If God favored you then He’d protect you from them, I think someone in your family is harboring a Dark Presence. We’re unequally yoked.”
QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works 5 hours ago
Any adult who believes in Magick, God, angels, or demons has growing up to do.
Kolanaki@pawb.social 4 hours ago
I didn’t believe in demons until 2016.
Knightfox@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
Unfortunately we don’t need demons, humans are bad enough as is.
Knightfox@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
Genuine question, no judgement, but why did you spell it Magick in this instance?
QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works 4 hours ago
I used to be spiritual and got used to spelling it with a K.
I realized it was all bullshit. I thought I knew sacred knowledge and that the spells weren’t working because I wasn’t good enough…
I realized I’d never be good enough and that the guy who was teaching me magic was using it as an excuse to get high (he claimed we were doing sacred rituals that increases our magic power… we were fucking drinking DXM)
imetators@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 hours ago
Fake/gay analysis: true and straight. Source: dated religious girl who’s mother was a religious lunatic. Super fucking likely to happen
HugeNerd@lemmy.ca 4 hours ago
*whose
Sharkticon@lemmy.zip 7 hours ago
I was once invited to a pool party by a girl back when I was a freshman at college. When I got there they were baptizing people.
There was free food though so I stuck around.
Knightfox@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
Freshmen year of college is all about maximizing the amount of free stuff you can get, especially food.
ZombieCyborgFromOuterSpace@piefed.ca 12 hours ago
“Listen, your mon had a heatstroke. This isn’t a demonic attack. It’s common knowledge that this happens when doing hard work in extreme heat. I can’t be with someone who’s family believes that demons are behind common medical conditions. In other words: your family is insane and I can’t date you anymore. Bye”
bedwyr@piefed.ca 12 hours ago
How dare you sir, don’t deny my faith! /s
ZombieCyborgFromOuterSpace@piefed.ca 4 hours ago
“I’m not denying you faith. Go be crazy. I don’t care. I just don’t want to deal with it. "
Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 8 hours ago
Everyone is going with the satanism or whatever non-Christian antics they are coming up with.
That’s too easy.
Study some Bible verses and understand the tenents of the religion. Learn enough about the family to find something you can use. Then break up with her by saying her family are heretics and state that reason. Tell her they’re all going to hell and close the door tight. Never talk to her again.
Padit@feddit.org 8 hours ago
It schisma time!!!
MrShankles@reddthat.com 6 hours ago
You get it. Insidious “mustard seeds”, if so needed. You can’t always logic someone quickly, it takes a lot of time to even consider changing any core beliefs. But I really value my time. So it’s either worth it, or I’m taking the path of least resistance… aka, “your family’s the devil and you didn’t even know. Sorry, God certainly loves YOU though. And maybe we woulda worked in a different life, but until then; bye and god bless”
Mulligrubs@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
This is not unusual in my opinion. In my childhood, I attended Catholic, Baptist, and Assembly of God churches, and this would not have raised any eyebrows. Especially Assembly of God.
If the people only knew what they are supporting with their tax dollars (in USA, churches pay no taxes)! It’s obscene and frankly ridiculous. The farther you go in the church, the crazier things are.
And make no mistake, they will kill you.
JDPoZ@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
Also can confirm on the weird offshoot of Pentecostalism that is “Assembly of God.”
To this day - if you were to ask certain extra dipshit Trump-loving bigots and racists who I have known all my life who enjoyed their time at the specific “Assembly of God” church I was forced to attend as a kid, they will still swear that “speaking in tongues” is some sort of mystical God language that is legit and not silly.
It’s one of the many reasons I’m happy to say I am no longer a believer in any sort of religion.
I still respect people’s peaceful welcoming traditions and the “fellowship” that some religious people are able to kindly engage in as an indirect result of their personal religious beliefs, but for me - I think Stephen Fry put it best when he said this about God.
Mulligrubs@lemmy.world 2 hours ago
Speaking in tongues was a source of constant amusement for me, and probably the only thing I enjoyed about the church. “Shambala lala guu!”
Then, someone else used their Magic Bird powers to “translate”.
nickiwest@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
My mom recently changed to a non-denominational church because the local Assembly of God (the church she raised me in) is somehow getting it wrong.
Her new pastor has a degree from Liberty University. I am intimately familiar with the teachings of the A/G. I honestly don’t even want to know what the new church is telling her.
QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works 5 hours ago
Republicans claim public school teaches our kids to be atheists. That would be so based if it were true.
Children should be taught faerie tales are fiction.
Mulligrubs@lemmy.world 2 hours ago
Ironically, I went to Assembly of God school, which definitely impacted me and resulted in my atheism.
Also, my relatives were Baptist and totally wacko for Jerry Falwell, who founded Liberty.
They don’t speak in tongues, but they do share a lot with Assembly of God, like their Apocalyptic obsession. My family was positive they were going to be swept up into Heaven by angels while the Jesus army murders everybody. Should be pretty cool.
chronicledmonocle@lemmy.world 15 hours ago
As someone who grew up in a conservative, Baptist home, I can tell you that this 100% isn’t the most insane thing I’ve heard or seen, but it falls right in line.
bridgeenjoyer@sh.itjust.works 11 hours ago
Insane how grown ass adults believe in absolute fairy tales written by the rich/kings to keep the lower classes subservient. In 2026.
I’d love to ask someone in the 1940s what they’d think of 2026. I bet they’d think we were all living on other planets and half cyborg by now. But nah. Trillionaires.
paranoia@feddit.dk 9 hours ago
I feel like a trillionaire in 2026 would not be that surprising to someone from the 1940s, considering they had billionaires back then too.
Phantaloons@piefed.zip 11 hours ago
My cousin wouldn’t let his daughter watch Wicked because they whisper a spell during the movie.
I literally asked “Are you fucking serious?”
The query went right by his perception of me questioning his sanity as if I was making a remark in regards to the film itself.
“Yeah, man. You gotta be careful these days.”
chronicledmonocle@lemmy.world 9 hours ago
My parents nearly didn’t let me read or watch Harry Potter “cuz witchcraft”. There is a lot of stupid out there.
Phantaloons@piefed.zip 11 hours ago
Yep. My mom is the last thing I hold any level of doubt for. I let her have her Christian thises and thats and I indulge her just enough to keep her happy. She was and is a great, loving mother who deserves to go out comfortably, and I’m seeing to it.
.. but the very week she’s gone, the filter is off and is never going back on. No one else deserves it and it literally sucks the life out of me to nod along to someone else’s insanity when they’re around. It’s draining.
I have to wash off with NetGeo documentaries, Nova episodes and Twain essays after every visit.
JackbyDev@programming.dev 10 hours ago
I think my father in law still believes Hurricane Katrina was a punishment to the people of New Orleans from God Himself. I’ve never heard him say similar things about other natural disasters though.
chronicledmonocle@lemmy.world 9 hours ago
My parents told me that the Clinton’s, Gates family, and other influential people go to masquerade parties where they murder babies and wear their skin ask masks. And they were 100% serious.
In the world of Epstein Island revelations, there is some fucked up stuff out there, but I’m pretty sure we’d know if people were mass slaughtering babies for fun.
psycho_driver@lemmy.world 16 hours ago
Tell her you’re a demon sent to attack her vagina.
agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 6 hours ago
Then you’ll have to face off against Pillowpants, and I didn’t think you’re ready for that
M137@lemmy.today 6 hours ago
Man this made me laugh, thank you!
BeardededSquidward@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 hours ago
Tell her because of denomination you cannot agree with her particular dogma.
Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 15 hours ago
I’d probably talk to the girl and see if she holds the same beliefs. She’s Christian, yes, but there are plenty of people raised in such families that use the term out of familiarity, but don’t share the extreme views of their parents.
Though with that said, even if the girl isn’t off the deep end, I’d understand that having her parents as potential in-laws could be a bridge too far.
rizzothesmall@sh.itjust.works 9 hours ago
My master, Satan, says we should have premarital sex immediately
It’s a win either way
ferrule@sh.itjust.works 10 hours ago
Oddly, the two super churchy women I’ve “been with” ended up leaving the church afterwards. Maybe OP should do a little 🫰🤌🤏 to her 🍑 and see what happens.
SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 8 hours ago
This dude knows how to do it
NikkiDimes@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
God, emoji are so tainted. Before reading this comment, I thought it was going to be AI slop…
ferrule@sh.itjust.works 3 hours ago
I might be a brain in a vat, but I know how to make a woman cry out to God with just my fingers…and then they deconvert.
Mikina@programming.dev 14 hours ago
I remember playing this 3 day LARP, the kind with pre-written in-depth characters and story that is played over 3 days strait in characeter, in Wild West setting, where I played a Trapper that was about to marry someone from the local village, my family was married into but my parents died shortly after.
It eventually turned out that the whole village is a cult that eats people to keep some kind of evil imprisoned, and I still can’t forget the nights spent trying to reasonably argue and discuss with my fiance that it’s definitely not ok and we should just leave.
I obviously never had to have discussions like this in real life, but it was pretty interesting how extremely futile it is. They have so many arguments you can’t say anything against. Once they start with “But this is our purpose given to us by God, if we don’t do this the whole world will end”, or “It was God’s will”, you really don’t have much to say to that to get through.
Of course, it was just a LARP and she played her character well, but now I can pretty vividly imagine that talking to someone who’s so much into anything like that is extremely difficult, to the point of being futile.
(I managed to convince her to leave, the winning argument was “Your grandmother tried to poison me, here is proof”, lol).
rumschlumpel@feddit.org 13 hours ago
The thing with RPG worlds is, when the characters are saying these kinds of things there’s a good chance that this is actually and demonstrably how that RPG world works and they’re not just a bunch of grifters.
Mikina@programming.dev 13 hours ago
Oh, it was definitely how that world worked, and she played that role really well.
But, the experience (especially in multi-day nonstop LARPs, where you immerse into the world and your character really extensively) is pretty indistinguishable from real-life. At least in how you perceive it. For the few days, your life has these problems now. And you just accept it and get into it, and don’t even consider a difference between real and “imaginary” problems. It’s hard to describe, tbh.
I was not trying to imply that any of the involved people were grifters, I was mostly talking about the experience of being in a situation like that, where you have to actually talk to someone like that. I’m pretty sure that there wouldn’t be much of a difference between talking to someone who can roleplay well and has spend two days in their character, vs. talking to someone who spent most of their life being indoctrinated like this.
Or rather, the problem-solving part of it. I had literal days in that world to figure out how to approach this, what to say so it would work in that situation, how to argue with her. I didn’t come up with anything that would work, and things that I came up with were swiftly rebated by fanatic religious speeches. Just like she had a pretty easy time of coming up with arguments I couldn’t say much against, that would still be perfectly in-character, as she told me after the LARP.
EDIT: I may have misunderstood your comment, sorry :D. Yes, you are right, it was how the world worked - we did eventually all died because some kind of evil has been awakened, lol. But that doesn’t change anything about the experience of having to argue with someone who’s indoctrinated in a cult vs. you, who don’t believe in stuff like that. It’s difficult. From my point of view, they were grifters, because I had no indication of proof of what they are saying, so I did my best to figure out what to do or say, and I couldn’t come up with anything.
carrylex@lemmy.world 7 hours ago
Claming demonic attacks without the popes approval? Well that’s sounds like a reason for a excommunication…
Etterra@discuss.online 6 hours ago
They’re probably not Catholic. This is peak American evangelical crazy right here.
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 8 hours ago
I dated a religious girl for three years. Her mom was a pastor at a small church. She was a regular practicing Christian. Definitely had some habits and customs I wasn’t used to. I mostly just nodded along and was polite.
Never really caused us problems long term. We ended up breaking up after our jobs pulled us in different directions. We’re still good friends and we regularly keep in touch.
Someone claiming to have a GF on 4chan - especially in 2026 - is extremely sus. Sounds fake and/or gay to me. Don’t take it too seriously.
DeepDown@leminal.space 8 hours ago
It’s a spectrum. Yeah most are normies but in the bible belt and suicide belt regions of the US you get some certified wackjobs who think every obvious fuckup is a “supernatural attack”
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
in the bible belt and suicide belt regions of the US you get some certified wackjobs
Some of the most certifiable radicals I’ve had the dubious honor of meeting were in California and NY. The center of the county has it’s share, but for the most part it’s just background noise. You listen to church radio because it’s what’s on. You celebrate Christmas because the city puts up a big tree and throws some public parties.
People can be superstitious with or without a formal religious membership. And they can be Christian outside of the red states.
Mulligrubs@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
Most are normies? I’ll need some kind of source for that, my life experience says otherwise.
supernicepojo@lemmy.world 16 hours ago
Get on floor, walk the dinosaur
abbadon420@sh.itjust.works 16 hours ago
They don’t believe in dinosaurs though.
kat_angstrom@lemmy.world 14 hours ago
Get on the floor, walk the demonsaur
mnemonicmonkeys@sh.itjust.works 15 hours ago
Heathens
Waterpumpee@lemmus.org 16 hours ago
I just asked if she really believes in all this. Answer was not really but you know, family ties and the community is nice.
Nangijala@feddit.dk 8 hours ago
I once managed to get heatstroke in a air-conditioned car in the middle east. May not have been demonic possession, but sure as shit felt like it xD the heat down there is metal af. Ten minutes outside is life threatening. Put some things into perspective for my Scandinavian ass.
greedytacothief@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 hours ago
Can demons be evil? Like they are fulfilling their purpose given to them by the creator of the universe.
Quexotic@sh.itjust.works 11 hours ago
Anon should just tell the parable of the drowning man and then just say, that’s why I’m breaking up with you.
QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works 4 hours ago
What is the parable of the drowning man?
Quexotic@sh.itjust.works 2 hours ago
Lol. I see what you did there. Very clever.
FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world 14 hours ago
Hmm i don’t think demons would attack the most favoured by God. Or rather, not in that way - demons are supposed to be packaged up with every time that YOU sin, they can’t just randomly go “TURN EVIL! TURN EVIL! TURN EVIL!”
Tyrq@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 hours ago
They can if you have a persecution fetish
mlekar@lemmy.world 8 hours ago
Well … a lot Christians love to suffer. It’s rooted in the faith that life is suffering
QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works 4 hours ago
It’s not that life is suffering it’s that God puts challenges in a Christian’s life to test their faith, the more challenges the more holy they are. They also teach that the unholy would persecute them out of “jealousy”
It’s why the Christofascists WANT to be persecuted. It validates their delusions.
luthis@lemmy.nz 7 hours ago
No, that’s Buddhism. Christians like to make other people suffer. Ideally immigrants, minorities and queers, but they will settle for anyone. Their own children usually.
Mulligrubs@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
It’s Christian, too, as said throughout the Bible. Their relief from suffering is in the afterlife.
GraniteM@lemmy.world 14 hours ago
Literally the same interaction between religion and reality as The Spirit Catches You And You Fall Down. Except without the language and cultural discontinuity.
Alpha71@lemmy.world 10 hours ago
"thats the devil talkin’ "
some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 7 hours ago
Just tell her that her family believes in stupid magic bullshit. No need to sugar-coat anything with these people. Remember that they vote to take away your freedom every chance they get.
finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world 13 hours ago
Oh, it’s too late for Anon. If he tries to leave her, the family will consider it a demon attack, and surround them both until they fuck in front of them. Then it’ll be brought up every thanksgiving.
SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 16 hours ago
Impossible challenge: have a greentext without it being about a ‘girl’
Tyrq@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 hours ago
fake: anon talks to a girl
gay: self explanatorymnemonicmonkeys@sh.itjust.works 15 hours ago
What about a grill?
SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 8 hours ago
I’ve heard you can filter with them
idiomaddict@lemmy.world 14 hours ago
There’s the one about a fan, but that’s also kind of about a girl
captainlezbian@lemmy.world 1 hour ago
“I really like you, but you and your family are religiously insane so I think we should see other people. I’m gonna try to see someone with a grip on reality, and you should try to see a professional”