nickiwest
@nickiwest@lemmy.world
- Comment on New hobby 2 days ago:
“Officer, they made a listing to sell tickets to Taylor Swift’s wedding, but when I asked to buy them, they didn’t have the tickets!”
“And how much did you pay them?”
“Nothing. They didn’t have the tickets!”
“Okay, then.”
Seriously, though, the only way this becomes a crime is if the phone number actually gets through to the scammer and they take payment for merchandise they don’t deliver. Then the person who posted the ad could be charged with participating in the scam.
More likely is that the scammers spoofed the number and some random innocent person is getting messages they don’t understand.
- Comment on 3 days ago:
The aisle seat idea is pretty smart. I’m at a point in my life where, depending on my total travel time up to that point, it can be very important to stand up to let my hips straighten out for a while, even if we’re 15 minutes away from leaving the plane.
- Comment on Vegeta 1 week ago:
It’s not like they can selectively erase the ink that’s already there.
- Comment on Vegeta 1 week ago:
Why do people take the time to cut exes out of photos instead of just throwing the photos away? Sometimes it’s about the pleasure of forcibly removing every trace of them from your life. It can be cathartic.
But I also acknowledge that it could also be about the cost and/or difficulty of removal. Not all removal procedures are 100% effective. If you’re not entirely sure it will work, a cover-up could be a more effective choice.
As with all things, I’m sure the association fades over time. Sure, the new tattoo might remind you that the other one is there for a while. But then it becomes its own thing and you think about the old one less until one day you just don’t think of it at all.
- Comment on Vegeta 1 week ago:
I’ve recently been reading about them, and this is honestly pretty accurate. (Keeping in mind, of course, that even the least problematic klan was still extremely problematic on an objective level. It’s just relative in this particular statement.)
They were super anti-Catholic, which feels almost quaint now. But they were their own worst enemies and eventually the greed and excess at the top caused the collapse of their entire pyramid scheme.
Strangely, that gives me hope for the US right now. History could repeat itself with our far-right techno-oligarchs.
- Comment on Chat, is this accurate? 1 week ago:
My undergraduate institution had an undetected americium spill that turned out to be a problem. I believe they ended up providing the means for every staff member who had been in the room to be tested for pulmonary damage.
- Comment on Chat, is this accurate? 1 week ago:
Definitely don’t do it.
- Comment on Is it reasonable to tell a person you once loved about the fact years later? 1 week ago:
… every person has a right to know of everything related to them in the highest possible extent.
I emphatically disagree with your proposition.
About a bajillion different people are credited with saying some variation of, “What other people think of me is none of my business.”
It must be exhausting to care about what everyone thinks of you. That’s a burden you are not required to carry. It’s also a burden you should not foist on someone who hasn’t asked for it.
- Comment on Is it reasonable to tell a person you once loved about the fact years later? 1 week ago:
Thank you for your clear and concise overview of Shakespeare’s most misunderstood play.
It’s really unfortunate that we have teenagers read Romeo and Juliet in high school. I think the story could only be romantic to teenagers.
When you consider the fact that the whole story lasts five days, it’s absurd that it could be the pinnacle of love. They barely know each other. Romeo was utterly in love with Rosaline at the beginning of the play, and five days later he had committed suicide because of Juliet.
But Shakespeare’s satiric themes of teenage impulsivity as a contrast to traditional courtly love are lost on a teenage audience, and i think very few people ever go back to read or watch the play when they are older and better versed in the ways of the world.
- Comment on Is it reasonable to tell a person you once loved about the fact years later? 1 week ago:
Citing the encyclopedia to describe love is like reading a dictionary to find out what the color red is. You’ll get a technically correct definition, but it doesn’t necessarily help with practical understanding.
I like the way Elizabeth Barrett Browning put it:
When our two souls stand up erect and strong, Face to face, silent, drawing nigh and nigher, Until the lengthening wings break into fire At either curvëd point,—what bitter wrong Can the earth do to us, that we should not long Be here contented? Think! In mounting higher, The angels would press on us and aspire To drop some golden orb of perfect song Into our deep, dear silence. Let us stay Rather on earth, Belovëd,—where the unfit Contrarious moods of men recoil away And isolate pure spirits, and permit A place to stand and love in for a day, With darkness and the death-hour rounding it.
- Sonnets from the Portuguese XXII
You may have loved her, in the sense that you felt affection toward her and wanted good things for her. Good friends, I would argue, should love one another in that way.
But this need to “confess” your feelings, seemingly out of the blue, after a long time apart, is not indicative of simple friendly, platonic love. This sort of “puppy love,” as we might refer to a youthful romantic interest or infatuation, is different from a true and lasting romantic love that grows from a mutual relationship.
Puppy love is not bad. It’s a normal part of growing up and learning to navigate romantic feelings and relationships. I’ll bet that most (if not all) of the people responding to you have experienced it, and as we have had more experiences with relationships and actually “falling in love” with other people, we have learned to tell the difference.
I can definitely point to a couple of long-term friends with whom I was infatuated as a teenager. I still feel a warm, platonic love for those people … but after having actually fallen in love, I can definitively say I was never “in love” with those people. I certainly don’t feel the need to reach out after years (decades, even) to tell them how I used to feel.
If you have not talked to this woman in years and she lives thousands of kilometers away, you have about a 1% chance of anything positive coming from your confession. If you’re not familiar with the Dobler/Dahmer Theory, it’s pretty simple. A grand romantic gesture will be well received if the recipient already finds the giver to be an acceptable potential romantic partner. If they don’t think of the giver in that way, it just comes off as creepy.
You have said that this woman was not romantically interested in you while you were acquainted. So that tells me you have better than a 50% shot of ending up on the “Dahmer” end of the scale.
Channel your energy into something more productive. Maybe get out into your community and find some affinity groups (hiking, coding, discussion, gardening, whatever floats your boat) and find some people you can connect with in the present instead of dwelling on the past.
Good luck!
(Apologies for the link to the random blog, but it’s the best source I found for explaining the phenomenon instead of just discussing the show where it originated. I heard about this theory years ago but I only learned today that it came from a sitcom.)
- Comment on You can't argue with his logic 2 weeks ago:
In the little corner of Latin America where I live, if people are making a concerted effort to be inclusive in writing, they end a word with @s to include both -os and -as endings: amig@s, chic@s, etc. But that is very uncommon, and I have not encountered a spoken equivalent.
As a non-native speaker, I find Spanish to be quite a bit more flexible than English. It’s very context-dependent, so I think a lot of Spanish speakers just have the mindset that you figure out the meaning of a word through its context. Words ending in -o can be for everyone or for masculine people, and you figure out the speaker’s intention by the context.
But also when your blender has a gender (it’s feminine, for people who don’t know), maybe it takes some of the gravitas out of the conversation about gendered language.
- Comment on hockey team owner selfishly engraves his whole family on the Stanley Cup 2 weeks ago:
The first time I read this, my brain automatically parsed “metal bands” as musicians. And now I think Gwar should really implement this system to commemorate all of its various lineups.
- Comment on Loosing my religion 2 weeks ago:
BRB, going to buy a drum and try this for myself.
- Comment on Killing ownership is the method, killing the secondary market is the objective. 2 weeks ago:
I think that big game publishers have found that there’s a real ceiling for what people are willing to pay for games, and direct digital sales are the only way they can drive up their share of that amount.
Game prices have not kept up with inflation over the past 30 years. If you cut the production costs and you cut out the reseller’s margin, that equals more revenue for first-party titles. And it further sweetens the pot for console companies because they can take a cut of third-party titles that go through their stores. (Third-party developers still save on physical production and distribution, so it’s a win for them, too.)
Not to mention the overall move toward software-as-a-service subscriptions across the board. If they can take your one-time $70 purchase and convert it into a monthly $5 subscription fee, now you’re paying $130 for the first year and $60 per year afterward for that game.
I have games from 25 years ago that I still play. I feel really sorry for young gamers because they probably won’t even have the option to revisit some of their old faves 25 years from now.
(I’m working my way through Castlevania: Circle of the Moon right now. It’s not the best entry in the series, but it has its charms.)
- Comment on Health yeating 2 weeks ago:
That definition is not accurate in all parts of the world.
I was shocked upon arrival in Colombia when they asked if I wanted my juice in water or in milk. Here, they throw the whole fruit in the blender and dilute the pulp with water or milk to make the right consistency of beverage.
- Comment on This guy managed the movie theater I worked at in high school. 2 weeks ago:
Not nearly as bad as the lady who briefly worked in my office. She had a ton of Harley-Davidson accessories. Literally the first thing she told us was that she and her husband love the brand and riding motorcycles. I asked how many Harleys they had. The answer? Zero, but they hoped to buy one someday.
They made “hoping to own something” their whole personality.
- Comment on Loosing my religion 2 weeks ago:
My step-siblings were not allowed to watch or play Pokemon in the late '90s because “they are demons that people catch and carry around with them.”
- Comment on Loosing my religion 2 weeks ago:
My mom recently changed to a non-denominational church because the local Assembly of God (the church she raised me in) is somehow getting it wrong.
Her new pastor has a degree from Liberty University. I am intimately familiar with the teachings of the A/G. I honestly don’t even want to know what the new church is telling her.
- Comment on 4 weeks ago:
A perpetual subscription is obviously a more stable source of income for corporations than a one-time purchase of a software package.
Adobe figured that out more than a decade ago. I’m surprised that it has taken the legacy media companies this long to hop on that particular bandwagon.
- Comment on brand new sentence 5 weeks ago:
This is my take on it, too. The kinds of things these guys are doing seem to cater to the male gaze.
Developmentally, it’s pretty normal for adolescents to style themselves to impress their same-sex peers for a while before they start trying to attract romantic partners. Maybe these guys are in a state of arrested development, maybe they’re gay … but definitely they’re very troubled if they think hammering their facial bones is a good idea.
- Comment on ngl it gets you pretty buzzed 5 weeks ago:
Wow. Thanks for mentioning this. I had no idea.
I found this study published in the journal of the American Academy of Neurology just last year. The results are kind of horrifying. And it’s not only aspartame – they made similar connections with other low-calorie sweeteners.
- Comment on Hello 911, it's me again 1 month ago:
Turns out, that last 8 inches is really important.
- Comment on This place is a prison 1 month ago:
I assumed it’s because the tenured faculty come in to do their research with a pocket flask.
- Comment on i don't care 1 month ago:
I don’t like a thing about the city, and I hate the countryside too.
Thanks for that blast from the past! I haven’t thought about that song in at least a decade.
- Comment on i don't care 1 month ago:
- Comment on What is a game you can’t understand why its so popular ? 1 month ago:
Yes, I’m aware of the original point behind the game. It’s still a bad game.
It’s also a bad educational game, because almost nobody learns the lesson it intends to teach.
- Comment on What is a game you can’t understand why its so popular ? 1 month ago:
Monopoly is the absolute worst. Almost everyone I know grew up with a copy of it in their house, and almost every family made changes to the rules because it’s such a terrible game. Yet somehow it’s a “classic.”
- Comment on Mint 2 months ago:
They get picked before they’re ripe, which means their flavor isn’t very good.
- Comment on Depluralize 2 months ago:
Old Dolphin
Fish Me If You Can
Gnat Atlas
Kangaroo Beverly Hill
Racehorse of Dream
- Comment on That kid was the WORST 2 months ago:
14-year-old me would also be very disappointed that I’m no longer religious. She would be afraid for me because I have gay and trans friends.
Poor little Nicki. She was brainwashed and didn’t know better. Fortunately, she got better after her first semester at university.