I think I can explain. In Buddhism, you have to understand if he didn’t the last into the pizza, but from where I stand it simply is. I hope that helps.
Anon studies Buddhism
Submitted 2 weeks ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to greentext@sh.itjust.works
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Comments
Gullible@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Yuki@kutsuya.dev 2 weeks ago
What
EfreetSK@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
If you have to ask, then you don’t know
drolex@sopuli.xyz 2 weeks ago
The fool asks ‘What?’
The wise man interjects ‘What’
The enlightened silently nods and thinks ‘WTAF’
lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 2 weeks ago
Induction technique
SeekPie@lemm.ee 2 weeks ago
I suddenly feel enlightened.
ddash@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
Beautiful words.
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
I certainly recognize most of them.
voodooattack@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee 2 weeks ago
Realistic yakub is frightening
Thcdenton@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Peace be upon him 🙏
conditional_soup@lemm.ee 2 weeks ago
Tbh, my favorite Buddhist tale is that of the Chinese monk birdsnest, so called because he always hung out in a tree.
Now, Birdsnest was famous and highly regarded, and a governor heard of him and decided to seek him out. The governor travelled for days to reach birdsnest, and when he arrived, he asked “hey, birdsnest, what was it that all the Buddhas taught?” Basically, dude was asking for a one sentence summary of religion, like the famous tale of economic study resulting in the one sentence summary of “no such thing as a free lunch”.
Birdsnest answered “Don’t do bad things, only do good things.”
The governor scoffed, and said “my three year old nephew knows that?”
“Easy enough for the three year old to understand,” Birdsnest retorted, “but still very difficult for the sixty year old to do.”
FenderStratocaster@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
A monkey was in a tree above a river and plunged into it. He came out with a fish and scurried up a tree. Once safe in it’s branches he said to the fish, “Holy shit, good thing I was here. You were about to drown!”
Intention without awareness can be harmful.
Another one is the two monks.
Two monks are traveling. Their sect of Buddhism doesn’t allow them to touch women. They came across a river and when they crossed it they saw a woman who capsized her canoe. The elder Monk swam to the woman and helped her to the shore. She hurt her leg so he carried her to the rest of her party.
Once they were traveling again, the younger monk continued to badger the elder Monk on why he thought it was okay to touch that woman. The elder Monk said, “I am no longer carrying that woman. Why do you insist on continuing to carry her?”
conditional_soup@lemm.ee 2 weeks ago
I’d never heard the former, but I adore the latter. I also really enjoy the tale of the horse that came back.
gcheliotis@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Finally some good ones, so far down the list, relayed by Fender Rinpoche no less. The best of these parables should be a bit of a brain teaser imo, have an element of surprise at least. Open up new ways of thinking about the world, and leave some room for contemplation.
Rusty@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
Highly regarded indeed.
rainrain@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Add meditation and thats the succinct version of the 8fold path.
Meditation might be implicit tho, and therefore not worth mentioning.
latenightnoir@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 weeks ago
The Buddhist Monk walks up to the hot dog vendor and says: “make me one with everything.”
zurohki@aussie.zone 2 weeks ago
The monk pays with a twenty, which the vendor pockets.
“Where’s my change?”
“Change comes from within.”
mattd@programming.dev 2 weeks ago
Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 2 weeks ago
Monk was passing through. Some villagers saw him pissing on a statue of Buddha so they grabbed their pitchforks and went to pitchfork him. “Show me where Buddha is not, and I shall piss there.” said the monk.
UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 2 weeks ago
Some Buddha once told me the Rebirth was gonna roll me…
pickman_model@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
are they just trying to fuck with white people?
Not just white people, but people in general.
RedFrank24@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Isn’t Buddhism at least partially about a lack of desire. Buddha is enlightened, meaning he has no desires, therefore if you asked him what he wanted on his pizza, he’d be like “Eh, whatever’s fine”
PineRune@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I am enlightened.
Ramblingman@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I think it’s more about attachment. We suffer because we get attached to feelings, desire, etc. When we should realize, those, along with most things, are ephemeral, or “not real”. I don’t think it is that Buddhist can’t have desire or are indifferent, but that they strive for lack of attachment. That’s probably a gross oversimplification and, like most religions, there are many different sects.
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
There’s a difference between wanting something and preferring something. If I want something and can’t have it, I’ll suffer. If I prefer something and can’t have it, that’s fine, I’ll get something else.
UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 2 weeks ago
Yet another “fuck me” for desiring housing, healthcare, and food.
sunflowercowboy@feddit.org 2 weeks ago
Lack of desire is a metaphysical control of your realm, essentially by not wanting, you cannot truly be hurt.
The physical path is about actualizing your body through routine use. Meditation for example usually had physical exercise as that allows your breathing to take a dominant part in your brain, regardless of thoughts.
One of the coolest ways of mastering the metaphysical realm is through imagination, as some buddhist sects just imagine a holy land.
Anyways, he’d probably dislike a meat supreme.
tigerjerusalem@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Never thought that depression meant that I was enlightened.
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Teach me your ways.
arakhis_@feddit.org 2 weeks ago
Theres a meditative practice Dr Kanojia (healthygamergg, Harvard-trained psychiatrist with hindu roots) told in one of his video talks:
Always choose your second favorite dish on the menu.
He says your enjoyment will be the exact same, or even better since you become more conscious and dont waste the experience so to speak, like you’d do with the usual ‘ol faithul’ option. Also resonates with me because you learn how to notice your desires. In modern age there’s these lustful/ignorant choices everywhere and more than ever before
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Eh, I usually go with whatever is cheapest.
Allero@lemmy.today 2 weeks ago
I felt a bit sympathetic to Buddhism up to the point when I actually visited a Buddhist temple and listened to the speeches of monks.
The amount of brain rot disguised as wisdom has made me feel Christianity ain’t that bad after all.
Sorry in advance to any Buddhist out there, but it struck me how the common perception of it differs from the actual thing.
pineapplelover@lemm.ee 2 weeks ago
It depends really. I grew up Buddhist and things were chill. Speeches I heard at temple were just telling us to be good people, be nice to people no matter their race or gender stuff like that, don’t do harm to people or animals.
Even Abrahamic religions have good and bad spiritual leaders, some are cult like and others are just trying to get people to have decent morals.
Allero@lemmy.today 2 weeks ago
Fair point!
drre@feddit.org 2 weeks ago
Late to the party, and no offence to buddhism, but i always loved this quote from Terry Pratchett
“Master, what is the difference between a humanistic, monastic system of belief in which wisdom is sought by means of an apparently nonsensical system of questions and answers, and a lot of mystic gibberish made up on the spur of the moment?"
Wen considered this for some time, and at last said: “A fish!”
And Clodpool went away, satisfied.” ― Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time
(copies the quote from www.goodreads.com/work/…/46982-thief-of-time?page… but i’m rather sure its correct, so i didn’t check my copy).
FenderStratocaster@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
That’s like saying, “I used to be a fan of pizza until I had one in Altoona, PA.”
There’s better pizza out there.
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Wow, that’s an actual place. Is that Buddha’s favorite pizza joint or something?
superkret@feddit.org 2 weeks ago
I kinda lost my interest in Buddhism when I learnt that according to traditional Buddhist lore, women can’t reach Nirvana.
When they’ve collected enough good karma, they are reborn as a man.Cordyceps@sopuli.xyz 2 weeks ago
I mean aint that different from what the old testament teaches. Not saying the choice is between Christianity and Buddhism, but I’d assume most religions have patriarchy vibes baked into them. Not that I agree with religion, I see them all as means of various levels of crowd control for the masses, and somebody trying to benefit from it, be it a spiritual leader or an orange clown.
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Surely that’s not all sects of Buddhism.
deathbird@mander.xyz 2 weeks ago
Out of curiosity, which Buddhist tradition was this temple out of? I’ve had similar experience, but I get the feeling like Buddhist thought might be about as diverse as Christian.
Peruvian_Skies@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
It’s m8ch more doverse than Christianity, actually. Buddhism isn’t so much a religion in the judeochristian sense as a characteristic that many religions have. There are Buddhist traditions that worship gods, there are godless Buddhist traditions that worship the Buddha, and ones thay don’t even wirshio the Buddha but just think he was a pretty wise dude. Some require you to meditate daily, others to chant some mantras, and there are Buddhist traditions like Zen that worship nothing and are all about getting your head out of your ass.
Allero@lemmy.today 2 weeks ago
Tibetan, it’s a mix of Mahayana and Vajrayana
Donkter@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
A classic cult tactic tbh. Convince people that they can divine meaning from random nonsense and they’ll convince themselves that they are more enlightened and above those around them who don’t understand.
_____@lemm.ee 2 weeks ago
Care to give any examples ?
Allero@lemmy.today 2 weeks ago
I’m not super good at remembering things I don’t need or accept, so I’ll speak a bit generally, but, for example, the cosmology and all the quasi-gods are extremely intertwined, excessively overcomplicated, but actually simple and repetitive;
Also the pretentious way it poses as a way to direct you in life (monks went so far as to say Buddhism goes far beyond modern philosophy and psychology and is at the forefront of knowledge in life of dignity and happiness), while really it can be condensed to “endure pain and man up, feelings don’t matter, just do what needs to be done”, which is super toxic and not really effective (and I wonder ifit’s also contributing to the toxic work culture in the Far East).
Also, as in many religions, it’s full of stories about miracles happening every day (like, the man who was terminally ill, was set to die within a month and barely walked, but then decided to go 8000km by foot through entire Eurasia to the main temple, and he lived, and succeeded, and lived as a monk ever after).
Etc. etc.
rainrain@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Don’t blame the religion, blame the people.
Buddhist or Christian, people love brainrot.
ocean@lemmy.selfhostcat.com 2 weeks ago
As a Buddhist it definitely varies like any religion. There are some bozo temples out there
Allero@lemmy.today 2 weeks ago
Must be true indeed
MDCCCLV@lemmy.ca 2 weeks ago
The hungry tiger jataka is my favorite
"One day, the Bodhisattva and one of his disciples decided to take a stroll in the forest nearby. This had become a regular practice. They often went for strolls.
While they were walking, the Bodhisattva notices something extremely terrifying. He saw a tigress, which looked weak and hungry. The tigress was about to devour her own cubs. Now, that moved the Bodhisattva’s heart. He did not want the poor animal to suffer the guilt of eating her own cubs. So, he came up with an idea.
He sent his disciple back to do something. The Bodhisattva had decided that he would offer himself as food to the starving tigress. He simply could not let her eat her cubs. And he knew if his disciple had seen this, he would definitely stop the Bodhisattva from offering himself. You may also like to read, The Tiger And The Golden Bangle.
After the disciple is gone, the Bodhisattva approached the tigress. With the utmost compassion in his heart and no malice, he let the tigress devour him. The tigress ate him and fed the cubs as well. After a while, the disciple returned. When he saw the Bodhisattva’s blood stained clothes, he realized what had happened.
He knew the Bodhisattva well. So, he knew the hermit had offered himself to save the tigress. He went back and told his fellow disciples of the Bodhisattva’s sacrifice out of love and compassion. "
Transtronaut@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 weeks ago
I think I figured out why Bodhisattvas went extinct.
ryedaft@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Nah, they just get reborn. Like, ping
The problem is that tigers have a taste for Bodhisattvas now.
Phen@lemmy.eco.br 2 weeks ago
Buddhism’s “Life sucks? Be nice and die and you’ll get a better one” sucks but it’s still better than “you should be nice to others, but that’s too much to ask so go be as awful as you want and just regret it later and that’ll be fine”. But even that was better than whatever the fuck people are interpreting from religions these days.
BarbecueCowboy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
Zen koans are basically ancient memes.
Thcdenton@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
It is better to cum in the sink than to sink in the cum
steeznson@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Before enlightenment, shitpost daily
After enlightenment, daily shitpost
Aganim@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
If you immediately know the candlelight is fire, the meal was cooked a long time ago.
finitebanjo@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
One story that stands out to me is there were these warriors who fought a hundred dudes consecutively and then one guy who fought 100 of those warriors consecutively and then Buddha killed him instantly.
topherclay@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
This guy doesn’t know the one about the pizza guy making him on with everything and then not giving him back and change. So he is angry cuz he didn’t get the anti joke.
UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 2 weeks ago
You’ll get it after fasting for 20 days straight I’ve heard.
four@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
Anon looks at the finger smh
EightBitBlood@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Buddha wants a “peace” of pizza.
Rivalarrival@lemmy.today 2 weeks ago
If you immediately know the candlelight is fire, the pizza was cooked long ago.
Zuriz@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Have you Heard, Seen, or Suspected the salami here comes from an animal that was killed for my consumption.
Dont know man… is my first day here. The Blessed One acquiesced with silence. … The vegetarian one then. Next customer!
DeltaWingDragon@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
The loneliest goat sees the last sunset last
Rivalarrival@lemmy.today 2 weeks ago
lowered_lifted@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
koans fucking with white people is just a fringe benefit TBH
fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
为什么不两?
rcstore@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
rcstore@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Freewing Rc airplane wholesale store
gedhrel@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Joshu wants nothing on his pizza.
markovs_gun@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Bible stories are the same way, we’ve just heard them a million times so they don’t seem weird
tetris11@feddit.uk 2 weeks ago
“Jesus… when you say ‘get me off this fucking cross, so help me God’… is that a test? Or should we actually get you off the cross?”
( More ranting and screaming and moaning )
The disciples nod wisely at their leaders self-sacrifice for their… sins? Maybe? And he will always be immortal in their hearts, because they’ve already eaten him or something.
The disciples go home, wiser and holier and warily eyeing each other in confirmation of the deeper meaning behind their saviour’s last words: “Guys, please, I’m not fucking around, get me down, please, I’m so fucking thirsty…”
Initiateofthevoid@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
deathbird@mander.xyz 2 weeks ago
Thought that one always tied back to the whole “you shall know them by their fruits” thing.
As in those who talk nice but don’t produce anything useful (like a fig tree that doesn’t produce figs, just leaves) are not really doing what Jesus said. Don’t be like the Pharisees hollering out in the streets, just love God and do good in the world.
ddplf@szmer.info 2 weeks ago
I think you’re confusing the testaments, Jesus was ultimately a great guy as far as I can tell. The God used to be extremely cruel and vengeful in the old testament, though.
olafurp@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
In response to calling a prophet bald:
“So he turned around and looked at them, and pronounced a curse on them in the name of the LORD. And two female bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths.” -New King James bible, 2 Kings 2:24
This is the real way to turn the other cheek
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Yeah, Kings is wild.
nickiwest@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
My childhood bestie’s dad was one of the only bald men in our church. He pulled out this story every time anyone in our youth group mentioned it.
Ostrakon@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Its almost like nonsensical parables are a recurring theme in religions in general and we shouldn’t be assuming a bunch of mystical morons from a thousand years ago knew any better.
chaogomu@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
A lot of the “nonsensical” comes from translation issues.
You’re not a Hebrew farmer living in the middle east 2000 years ago, and the parable has been translated from ancient Hebrew to Greek, then to Latin, then finally into English.
The same goes for buddhist parables
I’ve read that some of these parables originally had clever word play.
doomcanoe@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
Clearly you just failed to grasp Jesus’s message. And truly I say unto you, there shall be no pizza but through him, and occasionally at work to prevent unions from being discussed.
UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 2 weeks ago
May your marinara be forever spicy.
SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 2 weeks ago
Where have you heard them a million times? I guess you grew up in a far less secular country.
conditional_soup@lemm.ee 2 weeks ago
The US. I grew up in the central and southern US and the shit is (or perhaps was) inescapable.