latenightnoir
@latenightnoir@lemmy.blahaj.zone
- Comment on Discuss: 1 day ago:
Probably just an engine glitch. Delayed spawning of the birb, which means we’re seeing the Z buffer when the birb model spawns. Happens all the time, nothing Major - push to Prod.
- Comment on US education 3 days ago:
“Ey, look! We gotta publish this book by the end of the week and the thermodynamics guy already wasted so much time that we’re behind schedule! Pretend those people were morons, alright?! Now, c’mon, get to writing, you’re on preface duty after that!”
- Comment on US education 3 days ago:
“Ok, so here’s the theme for this one: you’re in the 1890s and you’ve just seen your first lightbulb. All you know is it runs on electricity instead of oil. All you know about electicity is that some fucking idiot caught some in a jar during a lightning storm. Go!”
- Comment on Anon does the shopping 1 week ago:
Hmmm… no:-?
- Comment on Anon has learned enough 1 week ago:
Do make plenty of memes pointing out the myriad plotholes and the nonsensical developments/elements! I hear she just LLLOVES that;)
- Comment on Anon does the shopping 1 week ago:
I sorta’ agree with you in that wasted plastic is bad, yes. However, I simply have to disagree with plastic plates in general being a bad thing.
I’ve owned a full set of composite plates for, I’m not kidding or exaggerating, 20 years now. Mum bought them while I was mid-way through high-schooland they proved to be so damned better than the old porcelain, that she steadily replaced our tableware with composite. And I liked them so much, that I stole that set from mum once I finished Uni!
And it wasn’t just those plates, everything lasted! The only things ruined were the plates granddad used with the microwave oven, he managed to overcook and crack them apart (he was a moron, though).
Granted, microplastic ingestion risks do, indeed, exist with these (eg. if one likes using the knife to its fullest potential), although a bit of temperance goes a long way. That 20-year-old set I have barely has any scratches on it, and that’s with dropping them pretty regularly while doing the dishes.
- Comment on Anon does the shopping 1 week ago:
I 100% believe the moment we try to pretend we aren’t children anymore is the moment we deny a huge chunk of what makes us human.
Not to mention a HUGE mistake logistically speaking, because it also means that we wouldn’t be working with the actual data. We don’t lose who we’ve been, it constantly gets incorporated into who we’re becoming. Those kids we used to be are still there, alive and well (and probably sobbing in a corner for a friggin’ crumb of honest, carefree enjoyment of, like, anything!) and all we do is to try to bury them deeper and deeper, until we can’t hear those sobs anymore.
- Comment on Anon does the shopping 1 week ago:
Are you kidding me?! There isn’t a single person I know who wouldn’t at least appreciate those plates enough to chuckle! Those are awesome plates, I’d use those plates even for formal events, the only people who’d be upset by them are stuck-up assholes!
- Comment on can't unsee it 1 week ago:
Agreed, it’s that familiarity I referenced! But talking from Freud’s perspective, “if it isn’t about sex, then get out of here” (paraphrasing):))
- Comment on can't unsee it 1 week ago:
Yes, that’s what I was referring to, it’s not exclusively women who’ve had good relationships with their fathers, some go for their aggressive and violent father’s look-alike.
- Comment on Anon wants robux 1 week ago:
Heh, sounds like someone needed to quickly get rid of some dubious money:)) Congrats!
- Comment on can't unsee it 1 week ago:
It’s not, the Oedipal complex is a correlation. The “marrying one’s parent” phenomenon most certainly has a psychological causality somewhere, but it’s certainly not due to a generally applicable Oedipal complex.
A concrete example, the only relatively comparable thing I’ve had to deal with was tending to swlect romantic parthers based on how familiar my dynamics with them were to me. Having lived in an unhealthy familial environment and with relatively few childhood friends, the only familiar I had was belligerent and punitive. Otherwise, none of my parents, or even from my extended family, are my type. I’m saying this in a literal sense. And this is against a constant, solid background of “like…no, they’re family.”
- Comment on can't unsee it 1 week ago:
Many, many victims of domestic abuse would disagree, I’m sure!
- Comment on hubris go brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr 1 week ago:
Hey, I’ll work with anything I got! It’s either attracting Vulcans, or miniaturising it for a torpedo, to make Trump and Musk and etc. some other Galaxy’s problem…
- Comment on hubris go brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr 1 week ago:
Fair warning, though, might get scratched😬
- Comment on hubris go brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr 1 week ago:
… please tell me someone has a functioning Warp Drive gathering dust somewhere, we need the Vulcans, like… a week ago…
- Comment on you and me baby ain't nothing but mammals 1 week ago:
At whom?
- Comment on Dik Piks 2 weeks ago:
Ooh, I completely forgot about those mixes, thank you! Most deffo should be even tastier! I kinda’ started mainling basil and oregano since starting to bake pizzas (it is a crime against humanity to not add basil and oregano to a pizza, that is all) and I forgot other seasonings existed:))
And, yep! Plus they work with absolutely anything that way, and make meal prep a lot faster if you’re in a rush (I would eat a double-portion of what you posted, honest truth!)
- Comment on Dik Piks 2 weeks ago:
Add a pinch of oregano and basil as well (maybe even some freshly ground pepper if you’re looking for a zing) and they’re good to eat as-is! Very seriously, tried this once while high, and now it’s the only way I boil any kind of pasta. Nothing can beat that “core” zest you get when the base is well seasoned! And they complement seasoning cheeses really well, makes for a neat snack!
- Comment on Dik Piks 2 weeks ago:
This felt like hearing one of those hardcore grannies dropping a truth bomb on their spoilt grandchild in public, and all people in a 10m radius shut up and start thinking if it also applies to them.
- Comment on [deleted] 2 weeks ago:
Fully deserved, from what you’ve shared, and I’d also add a hug, so🤗 I can only imagine the inner pressure all of that bubbling frustration generated…
And, yes, want is always the key, to both good and bad things, unfortunately… Although even so, I’d honestly say that a helluva lot of people could do with more intentionality behind their existing, I’d at least have some respect for some of the crumminess currently spreading around like a fungal infection if it were intentional, but most of it’s simply because some people don’t even look where they’re going, y’know? Feels, like… the most pointless form of a lie, to everyone including oneself, dunno…
- Comment on [deleted] 2 weeks ago:
I know for a fact that it’s how it’d happen for me, yes. With a hefty amount of anticipatory “oh, no… oh, I think I know where this is going…”
- Comment on [deleted] 2 weeks ago:
Given the horrors I’ve seen during my online horror tourism days, I’ll gladly take it!=))))
- Comment on [deleted] 2 weeks ago:
Ooh, I wouldn’t consider that a parent-partner type of relationship, sounds like there were some solid reasons for that unbalanced distribution! At least, that’s how I would see it, with the context of my upbringing having left me with several deficiencies in other areas of my psyche. They can be hard thresholds to cross, objectively speaking.
As for the frustration, as I understand it from this context, it was generated not by being coddled/babied., but by wanting and being unable. To me, it all comes down to intent. If a person wants to [something] but they can’t [something] due to stuff like health issues (physical or psychological), then that’s a completely different type of situation, it’s part of those objective incapacitators which I’ve mentioned in my initial comment.
To me, this is perfectly understandable and acceptable as long as it’s clear to me that my partner truly wants to try to rebalance everything. It’s when these types of blockers are constantly being used as an excuse, yet nothing is done to try to get through them that I see as a problem, because it basically means said person isn’t interested in participating from the start.
Either way, I’m sorry you had to go through that… I know how difficult it can be to want to do something, but to not be allowed to do so by our own brain…
- Comment on [deleted] 2 weeks ago:
Thank you! It genuinely is a load off my mind now that it’s clear I’m not off the mark with this one!:))
And that’s exactly it! Partnership, and that implies equal give and take on both sides (with compassionately compensating for one another when really needed)!
And very well said in terms of trusting one another to be capable of taking care of themselves! Worst case scenario, if it happens that the methods of approaching the same task vary greatly between the two parties (talking about how one washes the dishes, not how often, for example), these things can always be mitigated through clear and open discussion! This is also comes down to trust, as I see it.
Thanks so much once again! Sanity check complete with zero errors!❤️
- Comment on [deleted] 2 weeks ago:
Oh, I think there’s a misunderstanding, I wasn’t referring to relationships in general, only the ones where one of the partners is expected/insists on doing all of the household/caretaking tasks by themselves, those I find overbearing and draining.
Relationships overall, quite the contrary! I generally find them fulfilling, although I show a tendency to seek familiarity, which means unhealthy dynamics and, frequently, unpleasant endings… That’s 75% on me and my still-mending patterns (because I am aware there are many manipulators who specifically seek out their targets).
And I don’t find the world in general draining, either! What drains me is hate, greed, bigotry, xenophobia of all shapes and sizes, everything driving some of our species to commit horrible acts. But to say that the world in general drains me is to be unfair to the myriad people who are beacons of wisdom, who have that particular spark which lights up a whole room, those who can see even the tiniest details and set them into wonderfully intricate webs of causality!
Not just that, but the world itself is wondrous! I cannot but feel recharged when I see a starry night sky, or a warm summer sunset, sit and listen to the waves crashing against the shore, or just lose myself for hours in meditation listening to rain pattering over everything around me!
- Comment on [deleted] 2 weeks ago:
Certainly does, thank you!
We have a lot of piints in common from what I see, because I, too, start off feeling uncomfortable in a “hey, that’s not exactly fair of me” manner, and evolves into an “ok, I’m starting to feel infantilised/suffocated” coded frustration if it persists after attempting to talk about it and balance things out a bit.
Otherwise, hell yeah! Gimme a lazy weekend on the couch with my SO, we’ll binge everything under the sun! I don’t mind being an utter slob as long as we both get to be slobs equally! But it’s entirely untennable long-term, so I’d much prefer to be allowed to pull my own weight within the relationship, unless objectively incapacitating circumstances apply, as you’ve mentioned!
Thank you so much for providing your perspective, clarity is within reach now! Also, deeply appreciate this coming from a former Sloth Demon😉 (got to see your old tag for a spell, had a good laugh:))) )
- Comment on [deleted] 2 weeks ago:
Fair point and completely agree, but I was trying to divorce it a bit from the mythical/greentext framing (sorry if I left it ambiguous!) and referring to the more realistic version of such relationships, namely of the spouse/romantic partner/SO/you name it who plays a dutiful/doting parent for their partner.
In that case, I think outright malicious intent is seldom a direct driver for this type of relationship, usually has to do with either codependence, enforced Old Timey norms, and other such quasi-external/artificial sources. I do agree that the mythology around Succubi is a fine cautionary tale of what the result will be on the doted-upon partner’s end, very hard to develop one’s complexity when little to nothing is required of them in terms of effort in order to exist (not talking about poverty and such, just about normal everyday life stuff, like washing dishes, taking out the trash, cooking, paying bills, etc.).
And that’s what generates the confusion and the need to clarify in me. I understand that the way I’ve been raised hasn’t been necessarily conducive to objective reasoning in terms of interpersonal relationships and I’m trying to figure out if/where there are any lingering points of bias from this perspective within my processing.
- Comment on [deleted] 2 weeks ago:
Not trying to play the virtuous superbeing here, just trying to get some perspective: am I the only one who finds such relationships… draining? I mean, I like being offered attention and affection, a lot! But this time of relationship feels like having helicopter parents, overbearing.
The occasional surprise meal, or doing the cleaning alone when I’m sick and melting are all fine and dandy in my book, as long as it’s not a constant occurrence and reciprocation is involved - I like returning favours, almost more than I do receiving them.
Again, not trying to virtue signal, I want to understand if this is part of my avoidant bits, or if it’s part of the usual spectrum. Childhood-long fuckery requires lifelong study, apparently.
- Comment on Could you fcking not. 2 weeks ago:
And will continue to do so, yes! Aw, nuts, this thread made me sad :-<