“I see you more as a brother”
“How much to see me as a step brother?”
Anon hires a goth chick
Submitted 1 day ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to greentext@sh.itjust.works
https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/0c98a8c1-9dd4-4a9f-98ae-dee3776e67b1.jpeg
Comments
mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 1 day ago
k0e3@lemmy.ca 1 day ago
Drop the $600 under a bed for her to reach it
tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 23 hours ago
just in case anyone wants to watch 40 mins about the bg of the original “stuck in a washing machine” woman, along with lawsuits against the predatory practices of gdp
mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 20 hours ago
pioneers and innovators
felixwhynot@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Fake: anon paid a woman
Gay: anon didn’t get a boner
Gullible@sh.itjust.works 13 hours ago
>get psych degree >become disillusioned with the world and my minuscule place in it >distaste for society rising >decide to open a little witch shop >even offer subtle counseling >occasionally rip chuds out of their hate holes >never had a customer leave without personal growth >be yesterday >laundromat fire left me with barely any clothes >fuckthisqueerhatingearth.png >still have customers today >can’t cancel without incurring penalties >fuckthisqueerhatingcreditprocessor.fat >smell like burnt plastic >wearing rescued sheets from head to toe >appointments not going too bad considering the circumstances >then arrived the mound >a ball of unwashed hair stretching out into a protective sphere >sebum flows and drips from my bead draped doorframe as walks in >understand immediately that I have to do something about this >I’ll save this one Jonny >but I can’t get a word out of him >he communicates only in grunts >he's distracted for some reason >finally give up as the hour elapses >grasp failure for the first time >as he leaves, he suddenly turns, whipping salty droplets onto my face >I convulse but keep my composure >finally hear his voice >think we’re finally going to talk >he extends a wad of money toward me and begs for a handy >the straw that broke the camel’s back >can barely squeak out an apology as I exit the room and begin crying >I just wanted to help
lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 9 hours ago
👏👏👏 BRAVO 👏👏👏
lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 1 day ago
> Boo hoo I am going to be a 40 year old virgin!
And? I’m a 29yr old who is still a kissless virgin. Just try to get some good friends or something. Improve your carrier and climb up a ladder, then sex or relationships won’t even matter anymore. Get off of 4chan.
sabin@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Wtf no your 9-5 (or in your case im guessing much longer) isn’t a replacement for a relationship.
If you’re somehow able to do nothing but work and self improvement all day and be satisfied with just that in your life then good for you but don’t assume everyone can just adapt to that mindset.
Humans are not evolved to find intimacy so irrelevant.
Whostosay@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
This is a green text so I’m gonna suspend as much reality as I can.
This is not gonna go over well but here we go.
If you want to talk to women or whatever romantic/sexual partner you’d prefer, why the fuck are we paying women to approach them in a non-romantic/sexual professional setting and then being upset?
Either open up to people, lower your standards, or increase your own self-worth to approach whatever arbitrary standards you’ve made for you.
Talking to people in a romance/sex setting isn’t a fucking myth, it’s a very everyday part of life that every single person thinks about. Approach it like that, don’t be an asshole, and above all go out and have fun.
There is someone for you, and even if you don’t think so, there’s someone exactly like you willing to take the same risk.
If you’ve read this, and you’re upset, it’s on you. Go outside and fucking try.
Clent@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
The idea that intimacy is required to live a fulfilling life is the lie. There are famous examples of people who were life long virgins. A few of them were in unconsummated marriages.
Regrettable_incident@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Some people find sex less important than others and prefer to focus their energy on other aspects of their lives.
fauxerious@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Surrender yourself to the capitalist machine
lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 1 day ago
I’m also bad at articulating my point, so this is on me.
Friends are very important and having a career does not necessarily mean “Surrendering to the capitalist machine”. (For example, running a union, contributing to a socialist group, growing a militia, etc.)
Also having friends and family is important. I guess to me, wanting sex/romance feels so manufactured. Maybe that’s the ace half of me talking. I really don’t know.
rtxn@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Yeah, it’s actually impossible to have a job that you enjoy, or a profession that makes you feel like you’re doing something important. We’ve all been gaslit by the capitalist money machine, and the professional pride we feel when we complete a project is just a coping mechanism.
LouNeko@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Ultimately, capitalism is bad because it drains the only world we have of rescources making life for the next generation harder and harder. And you’re preaching this to people who will never have children.
“Cut off the hands of the armless.”
gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de 21 hours ago
i guess it’s good for you that you’re an emotionless cold-hearted robot (at least that’s how you come across through your writing) because that means you’ll be able to slave away without regret, but there’s people who actually do want to have a future, and there’s no future without each other.
lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 20 hours ago
Well, I do want friendships for sure. I guess I have seen so many examples of toxic incel friends that obsess over wanting a girlfriend, and that having a girlfriend would fix all of their problems, and don’t have obviously bigger issues to worry about.
Maybe I listen to the man-haters too much. I am willing to change my mind.
WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
Bro…I’m glad you’re happy. If you do get the chance for a kiss though, it’s worth trying it out. They feel nice.
corroded@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Improve your what and do what? I have no idea what that means.
lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 1 day ago
Fixed. Man, I’m bad at spelling.
Fizz@lemmy.nz 1 day ago
He should stay on 4chan he just needs to change boards. Plenty of boards where he can fix that
Jhuskindle@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I was 27 when i did the deed for the first time. It was very overrated. I’m almost 40 now. Ive been married, tried a few partners, it just didn’t matter. But before 27 I thought I must be missing out and got sad over it. Nah man it’s really nbd.
frezik@lemmy.blahaj.zone 22 hours ago
It’s not a big deal, except that now you know it’s not a big deal. When people are hung up about it, releasing that can be a help.
TankovayaDiviziya@lemmy.world 14 hours ago
It’s society putting sex on pedestal. I agree when I did the deed for the first time, I feel it is overrated. Sorry if i might slight someone here, but from my observation, it is kind of the shallower folks who put too much value on sex.
jumbodumbo@lemmynsfw.com 23 hours ago
It’s because you had sex with your popo instead of with your peepee
festnt@sh.itjust.works 13 hours ago
makes sense for someone from @lemmynsfw.com to say that lol
BuboScandiacus@mander.xyz 22 hours ago
Ty, almost forgot where we were
SonOfAntenora@lemmy.world 16 hours ago
Why is everything so depressing here
Darkenfolk@sh.itjust.works 4 hours ago
Is it depressing though? Tragedy is somebody’s comedy, you just got to see the funny and laugh.
MangioneDontMiss@lemmy.ca 15 hours ago
on earth?
SonOfAntenora@lemmy.world 15 hours ago
I mean. It looks like sad people find their way in greentexts.
Stanley_Pain@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 hours ago
Because the Internet was a bad idea at this point. ;)
SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 7 hours ago
I mean just look at the state of the planet and where humanity heading. If that does nor make you depressed then what is wrong with you?
Dasus@lemmy.world 10 hours ago
Go to a rave and do some meth.
If you don’t get yo rail someone / get railed, contact me for further instructions.
lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 9 hours ago
Average CIA agent
Dasus@lemmy.world 9 hours ago
profession i might enjoy but not a country i would like serving
Psythik@lemmy.world 8 hours ago
Joke’s on you; I have ADHD. Meth just makes me even more quiet and reserved.
If you want to come out of your shell and get laid at a rave, I recommend candy flipping. Psychedelics will turn the most reserved introvert into a social butterfly, and the MDMA is to take the edge off, so that you can just enjoy tripping in public without having to face your demons and discover the meaning of life. The combo makes sex so much better too.
Dasus@lemmy.world 8 hours ago
Yeah that’s now how anything works and I don’t care to argue as I’ve had the debate 100000000x times
gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de 21 hours ago
IMO the worst thing about being a virgin is that it’s forbidden to have sex, at least according to your caring parents, teachers, and social context. It’s more about breaking the nonsensical rules than actually about having sex, at least that’s how it was for me.
subarctictundra@lemmy.world 16 hours ago
it’s forbidden to have sex
Yep. I’m from a different country but it’s sadly amusing how here also that was somehow, without explicitly being said, drilled into me.
festnt@sh.itjust.works 13 hours ago
i think it’s less explicitly “sex is bad” and more “virginity is holy”, making people feel like sex is bad
ConstantPain@lemmy.world 22 hours ago
That’s why you make an agreement in advance.
NGC2346@sh.itjust.works 16 hours ago
Some folks around here really down bad
UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 9 hours ago
Gay dudes are always waiting
houndeyes@toast.ooo 1 day ago
bluecat_OwO@lemmy.world 17 hours ago
it’s not the sex that I crave, just a physical warmth would be great
SoleInvictus@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 hours ago
This is a really common sentiment. Humans are social apes but many cultures have severely curtailed what kind of touch is considered appropriate.
I highly recommend hanging with cats. When I was younger, I volunteered at a cat rescue. Friendly cats are almost always down to be pet and to rub their furry little faces all over you. It’s hard to feel as lonely when you’re hanging out with your cat buds, and the rescue cats need friends too.
bluecat_OwO@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
I have 3 stray kittens hanging out around my porch. Once they get comfortable enough, I will take them to vets and from there I hope the three can stay inside
SethTaylor@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
Allow me to introduce you to… the London Undeground trains! The Northern line in summer rush hour is like a bunch of penguins huddling together for warmth in a hot oven.
bluecat_OwO@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
this is the kind of thing only an aroace could say
DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 14 hours ago
Hot Pockets aren’t just for eating anymore.
some_kind_of_guy@lemmy.world 7 hours ago
Let it cool a while first, trust me
UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 9 hours ago
I ain’t no quitter
MangioneDontMiss@lemmy.ca 15 hours ago
sweater?
bluecat_OwO@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
nooooooo i said physical warmth
DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 14 hours ago
You poor kids. Your parents screwed you up.
I’ve read advice that people need to continuously ask for consent DURING the act, just to be sure. This is stupid advice. Once you’re both naked in the same room, and no one laughed or ran away, you’re good. If you’re now thinking up exceptions to this, that’s why you’ll never get laid.
OTH, no one should have kids, so it’s probably all for the best.
Droggelbecher@lemmy.world 14 hours ago
I think you may have misunderstood that advice. Consent during sex doesn’t mean you keep asking ‘do you still want to sex’ over and over. It means that you make sure everything you do is something you both want. Theres like a million different things you can do together when you have sex, how would you know which of those the other wants? It doesn’t even have to be verbal, giving and paying attention to non verbal cues is a type of ongoing consent too.
And I can’t believe I have to say this, but: Someone being naked and in the same room as you doesn’t give you permission to do whatever the fuck you want to them.
FinnFooted@lemmy.world 13 hours ago
For real. Like, if you have two brain cells to rub together, you observe body language and mix checking in on your partner with dirty talk. It’s not like “are you still consenting?! Do you still like me?!” Literally there’s porn lines you can copy like “yeah, you like that?” or “I want you to beg for it” or “tell/show me what you like” or whatever is up your alley. Deliver it with a modicum of confidence and its not weird.
UnculturedSwine@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
I have never fucked a woman but I fucked my first man at 29. Does that make me virgin?
frezik@lemmy.blahaj.zone 22 hours ago
The writers of “The Ethical Slut” advocate for a very broad definition of having sex. They even have a (tongue-in-cheek) bit where they say that by reading the book, you and the authors are engaging in a form of having sex.
I’m not sure I totally agree with going that far, but I do think a broad definition is better.
festnt@sh.itjust.works 13 hours ago
yeah sex isn’t really a defined thing, so anything can count as it (or not)
Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 15 hours ago
I’ll take it in another direction from the other responses and just say: people give too much of a fuck about this idea of virginity.
festnt@sh.itjust.works 13 hours ago
yeah
Fizz@lemmy.nz 1 day ago
Nah any sex is losing your virginity
daggermoon@lemmy.world 14 hours ago
I’d say as long as it involves another person it counts.
DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 14 hours ago
Another live person, who consents.
rumschlumpel@feddit.org 23 hours ago
Did the guy have a vagina? If not, that depends on who you ask.
sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 22 hours ago
From Oxford:
physical activity between two people in which they touch each other’s sexual organs, and which may include sexual intercourse
It’s not complicated, whether you’re doing manual stimulation, oral stimulation, or penetration, it’s all sex. Any other definition is trying to justify some behavior you feel would be inappropriate if labeled as “sex.”
brotundspiele@sh.itjust.works 17 hours ago
if you think it’s fine to call it ‘fucking’, you’re definitely not a virgin anymore
Oh, that’s great to hear because I think it’s fine to say that I’ve fucked up more than once in my life. So I’m no longer a virgin 🙌
malware@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
Brah. Same. Ngl imma just Kurt Cobain when I turn 27 and I’m still a virgin. 3 years left.
affenlehrer@feddit.org 1 day ago
I was afraid of that as well
chocosoldier@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 hours ago
yeah maybe hire a prostitute instead of assuming women offering a service you don’t understand are all whores
anon deserves his blue balls
Ummdustry@sh.itjust.works 2 seconds ago
she implied anon could’ve recieved that service if anon wasn’t “too spiritually pure” defo a prostitute, at least as a side hustle.