Submitted 3 weeks ago by Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net to greentext@sh.itjust.works
https://slrpnk.net/pictrs/image/e90edd63-799c-4a2a-aa4e-a4ea6b5a03f2.jpeg
Speaking from a purely analytical ace/sex-repulsed position:
Removing the blindfold can only at best ruin the prize you’ve already got. You remove the blindfold and find out the best beej in the world comes from Supreme Fellator Donald J. Trump? No ma’am, there is no coming back from that. Leave it on.
One has to be a Giver to give great head. I think youre safe.
I think you underestimate the power of spite
I don’t give a shit if it’s mother Theresa slobbing my job, as long as I get their number and they’re game to do it again.
Call me bb.
This is the only answer that makes sense. How’re you meant to reconnect with this thing, whatever it might be, if you don’t take off your blindfold? That said, I’d rather not flowers for algernon myself in the first place.
But what if it turn. Out to be your actual mother…
She’d be a zombie so you should care, as your next trip would be to the pharmacy to get some antiseptic creams.
He’s more of a toes guy.
I dunno’, I’d still be happy as a lark if I could slap him in to an early grave after taking the blindfold off…
I think it depends on your D/s spectrum.
As a Dom, I’d humiliate him.
But then again, BDSM relationships require continual respect.
Damn this is a hard one.
I’m a humiliated non-con no-respect sub in my relationship with my findom government and lemmy tell you: This. Fucking. Sucks.
This reminds me of my ex who liked sucking dick so much i swear she sucked out my soul a couple times.
My wife has sadly never gotten close to those levels of sloppy toppy, i would never tell her tho lol i love her too much and she tries :p.
I definitely peaked too soon in the receiver of blowjob stakes. First real GF genuinely loved to suck dick, she lived for that shit and I swear I had more and better krgasms during that year than the rest of my life since.
Oh well, better to have loved and lost eh
i still havent found what im looking for
My very first blowjob was the best thing ever. I’ve never disliked them afterwards, but I can relate to what you are saying.
None of my other girlfriends had been into it, which was fine. I would never pressure someone into doing something that they didn’t want to do. Then I met this woman and we hit it off almost immediately. On our fist date I brought her a Red Rose and did my best to behave like a gentleman. This impressed her and she asked me to ‘wait until she was more comfortable with me’ before having sex, to which I happily agreed.
Over the next week I saw her several times, and each time our make out sessions would get more and more steamy. Finally just a week later it had been enough time. Turns out she was kind of a Nympho and waiting was just as hard for her as it was for me. She texted me at work to let me know and asked me to pick her up after I got off. On the car ride to my place she made a speech about how I shouldn’t expect blowjobs because she reserves that for very special people and she wasn’t going to be just anybody’s ‘Blowjob Queen’. I said that was fine with me.
I was all gross and sweaty from working a full day, and when we got back to my place I told her I needed to hop in the shower real quick before we got busy. She said that it didn’t matter to her and that she was ready to go. I insisted though because I didn’t feel sexy being that sweaty. I have never washed myself faster in life, but less than 3 minutes after getting in the shower she opens the shower curtain and was standing there in a black see through negligee, asking me what was taking so long. That finally convinced me that I was clean enough so I hopped out of the shower and said just give me 30 seconds to brush my teeth.
You can probably guess what happened next. Standing there in the bathroom with toothpaste still in my mouth and brushing like a madman, she decided to be my Queen after all. It was so hot, no one in life has ever made me feel as attractive and wanted as she did that night.
I should have married her.
It’s unbelievably hot when you’re getting blown with enthusiasm though… Slurping away like my dick is the last ice cream cone they had at the store during an August heatwave is sublime, even a mid grade delivery gets upgraded when it’s clearly desired instead of a choice or foreplay obligation.
This blew my mind the first time I experienced it. I thought I just didn’t like receiving head for the longest time, because none of my past girlfriends really liked doing it and my pleasure tends to be pretty empathetic. Then I “dated” a woman in an open relationship/swinger situation who actively wanted my dick in her mouth most of the time. The first time she blew me (and honestly also most times after that too) she managed to get me into a full on autistic sensory overload state, like to the point that I was forgetting to breathe. It worked out super well for me because that made her feel like a sex goddess, and she really liked repeating that experience. It was strange because like, I’ve never felt more submissive in my life than when she had me in her mouth. She could turn me into a lump of playdough with a hopelessly misfiring central nervous system, and I was entirely at her mercy when that happened. I’d still make ruinous life decisions to spend another night in her bed lol
This is just a glory hole with extra steps.
which is just a cum jar with fewer steps!
A glory hole with the guarantee that it’s the best head you’ll ever get
I’d bet money on the best bj imaginable is given by a femboy. Thus the blindfold comes off. I must see the love of my life.
50/50 odds it’s a bear.
Or one of those fish that clean the side of the tank in Chinese restaurants.
The internet is fucked.
Always has been 🌎👨🚀🔫👨🚀
Yeah but this is old fashioned internet fucked and i approve.
Hey its me, your internet.
Like Cypher said in The Matrix: “Ignorance is bliss”.
Right before putting that delicious meat in his mouth
I’m pretty sure I’m completely missing the point, but how on earth did you find yourself in the situation? Like your dick out and blindfolded in a location that virtually anyone can walk into. All of a sudden with little warning you feel something happening down there but you don’t peek or ask what’s up, you just sit there silently and long enough for you to realize you’re getting the best blowjob of your life.
Honestly the more I describe the scenario the more I realize unless it’s a trusted partner, this is not the type of scenario that most women would immediately just start going to town without reason. So if you are strictly looking for a woman, at very least one of sound mind you are probably SOL.
It’s a thought experiment. How the fuck do you find yourself in the trolley problem?
You really need to consider the possibilities when deciding whether to take off the blindfold. I think it’s reasonable to reflect a bit on how you got there to narrow the possibilities down somewhat.
I thought Marco Pole-blow was one of those universal games everyone grew up playing.
This is kind of what I was thinking. In order for a situation like this to ACTUALLY happen, there is a complete, flat 0% chance that an attractive woman will be involved in any part of this. So by default its going to be Bill Cosby’s dog or some shit.
How did Plato trap all those people in his cave?
asking the real questions here
what, you guys have never gone to a sex dungeon and slapped on a blindfold and sat in the Free Use chair??
You KNOW that’s still going to be a dog.
Perhaps most women wouldn’t, but Bill Cosby might.
Of course I’m taking it off.
Knowledge has value. Are you so willing to give up any future chances just to not ruin this one? You may learn more on this art and its scholars!
It was Ted Cruz
I snap a photo and now I have blackmail material
Ain’t no way booger lip isn’t making noises that’ll give it away.
With Donald Trump hitting the balls from behind.
If I could choke him to death after that would be a consolation prize I’d be fully and gladly willing to accept.
Nooooooooooooooooo!
I rip the blindfold off right as I ejaculate.
Hah! Joke’s on you, I low key would…
Yer fond of me lobster, ain’t ya!?
I mean, Willem Dafeo is such a legend… I think you’d be surprised at how many people prefer character over looks…
Bobby Peru don’t come up for air!
You know… I think I risk it all and take the blindfold off. Perhaps I am Icarus flying too close to the sun but whilst on the brink of perfection, why not take the plunge?
This is not only AI slop but assumes I am Putin. Totally ruins it. If I woke up pne day and realized I was Putin, the first fucking thing I’d do is put a bullet through my brain.
I love how you think
I will answer this question with another question. “If I don’t take the blindfold off and find out who is doing the Lord’s work, do I get this person to do it again?”
Too little to gain and too much to lose in removing it. Just enjoy the experience and leave it at that
Words of wisdom from our friend RageCock over here.
It’s a perfectly cromulent Estonian name
Don’t you stand to gain the whole world though? Now you know what you like and can seek to duplicate it?
media1.tenor.com/m/…/robbie-rotten-shocked.gif (ugh I don’t know how to embed, especially on mobile…)
as an everyone hot bisexual I wanna see whose genitals I’m tounging next
Even if it’s a dog, though? 😂
my brother in Christmas, that’s on you
It would be me sucking your dick if you decide to take the blindfold off.
Hey hi how’re you doing?
The Schrodonger.
I’m taking it off. I need to at least make sure it’s a sane human and not a rabid pig that’s going to spontaneously bite it off.
Premise that it won’t bite it off, otherwise it is not the best bj. Would you do it then?
Don’t kink shame.
and not a rabid pig
But that’s the best part!
I could smell whether they were a man or a woman or a dog or a William Dafoe.
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
Well and the amazing sloppy toppy pudding poppy.
Truly the greatest philosophical question ever conceived by man.
What on Earth would have to possess me to get in that situation in the first place?!
I have to know, even if I don’t like what I see.
Schrodinger’s shlong.
William Dufoe? Promise?
Never gotten head so I think the first will be the best by default.
rtxn@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
“When a gift horse is munching on one’s carrot, one must be very careful not to look it in the mouth.” - Albert Confucius, 1969-04-20
Jackhammer_Joe@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
You got my like for the date. But now: get out!