Apparently this design was popular in Germany a hundred years or so ago. Its key advantage was allowing the user to examine their stools for signs of digestive health problems.
Dutch toilets
Submitted 9 months ago by sjmarf@sh.itjust.works to [deleted]
https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/05d1af84-81ff-49b8-8de1-c66802681aed.jpeg
Comments
AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 9 months ago
Agent641@lemmy.world 9 months ago
I dont need to examine my stools to know my digestive heath is horrific.
MasterNerd@lemm.ee 9 months ago
I thought it would just be for less splashing
dubyakay@lemmy.ca 9 months ago
It’s definitely for less splashing. I hate the North American bowls that spray your ass when your turd dunks.
alvvayson@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 months ago
Yep, but nowadays they are losing popularity. I don’t even know if you can still find them.
TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Explains shit fetish or vice versa?
Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Story time: I once briefly lived in a place that had an old toilet bowl like this. You can still find them in older houses. One day I took a massive shit and then dived it that the flash wasn’t seeing enough to get it down from there. And there wasn’t a brush. Yikes. Just wanted to share that with you guys.
Spezi@feddit.org 9 months ago
The trick is to put 3 pieces of toilet paper in beforehand, that way the whole shitboat can float away.
evergreen@lemmy.world 9 months ago
I like to imagine the shitboat floating away in flames like an epic Viking burial.
Pringles@lemm.ee 9 months ago
My shits at my grandma would’ve been more comfy had I known this. I was always worried it wouldn’t flush (which happened on occasion).
someguy3@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Did you use the poop knife?
absGeekNZ@lemmy.nz 9 months ago
I came here to reference this, great work.
valkyre09@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Origami toilet brush made from toilet paper. Yikes
Linnce@lemmy.world 9 months ago
So what did you do next? I’m thoroughly invested in the story
Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Got a bucket of water to flush it. After that I always had the bucket ready before starting the business. Luckily I didn’t stay there very long.
hOrni@lemmy.world 9 months ago
You wrap Your hand in toilet paper and give it a little push. That’s what toilet paper is for.
Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world 9 months ago
So your shit just piles up on the upper part till it kisses your asshole?
user224@lemmy.sdf.org 9 months ago
I have some experience with these. The only problem is that as the vertically standing excrement begins to collapse forwards, there is a chace for it to keep contact and drag its top portion across, from your anus towards the front. You can avoid this with a maneuver, pulling yourself up and slightly forward, right after the singular vertical log begins losing contact with the excretion area.
This is not a joke
AnomalousBit@programming.dev 9 months ago
Give this person an honorary degree in Turd Dynamics. Have you considered publishing your findings in the journal Nature?
doingthestuff@lemmy.world 9 months ago
I haven’t had a nice log come out in decades. Enjoy them while you can.
Siegfried@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Haven’t you thought of shitting backwards?
I prefer the kiss of poseidon over the casualities of deforestation
SynopsisTantilize@lemm.ee 9 months ago
It’s trying to touch your balls isn’t it…?
TheRisingApe@lemmynsfw.com 9 months ago
We referred to it as the poop shelf on our last visit.
apfelwoiSchoppen@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Decades ago we called this the poop shelf as well.
ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 9 months ago
My brother and I called it the inspection shelf as a joke. Turns out that’s what it’s actually for.
bitwaba@lemmy.world 9 months ago
The real problem is your turds are exposed to open air the whole time, so the smell fucking awful the whole time.
hakunawazo@lemmy.world 9 months ago
It’s a solid way to prevent neptunes kiss.
Death_Equity@lemmy.world 9 months ago
The downside is getting your balls slapped with a turd.
sxan@midwest.social 9 months ago
Um… if you’re holding on to that much shit, you may want you see a doctor.
Frozengyro@lemmy.world 9 months ago
You’ve clearly never seen an American eat. 3 triple burgers, a large fry, and a milkshake is the standard dinner while dieting.
Simulation6@sopuli.xyz 9 months ago
It gives you the opportunity to examine it. I think that is the reason for the design.
floofloof@lemmy.ca 9 months ago
And to savour the undiluted aroma.
Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world 9 months ago
“hey Sharon, SHARON GET IN HERE YOU GOTTA SEE THIS! SHARON!”
veganpizza69@lemmy.world 9 months ago
It kisses goodbye your asshole. Don’t forget from whence thy sheit falls.
zero_spelled_with_an_ecks@programming.dev 9 months ago
Since it’s already coming out, is it a French/Australian kiss?
walter_wiggles@lemmy.nz 9 months ago
Yeah but where’s your poop knife?
Cuzscience@lemmy.world 9 months ago
That’s what the three shells are for.
Transporter_Room_3@startrek.website 9 months ago
Pfffffffff he doesn’t know how the three shells work!
Pantsofmagic@lemmy.world 9 months ago
I’m still trying to understand which of the three shells is the correct one to use as a poop knife
AuntieFreeze@lemmy.world 9 months ago
The mashitty?
hoch@lemmy.world 9 months ago
ah, je mean de poop clogs?
jedibob5@lemmy.world 9 months ago
It sure does.
aquinteros@lemmy.world 9 months ago
aaah I get this reference
I_Miss_Daniel@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Just use a shit stirrer.
lgmjon64@lemmy.world 9 months ago
I had these in a few houses in Germany. I call them trophy shelf toilets.
bricklove@midwest.social 9 months ago
Did you have the light switch outside the bathroom too? That way your friends can make you poop in the dark
SpaceCadet@feddit.nl 9 months ago
Still better than a light sensor in a communal bathroom… outside of the stalls. That’s how it is at my workplace. If I spend a bit too long pooping, and nobody else comes in to poop at the same time, I end up in the dark. Then when I have to wipe, I have to either risk opening the stall door and wave into the room, with my dirty ass hanging out, hoping nobody happens to enter the bathroom at that time, or wait patiently for someone to come in and reactivate the light. Makes me wonder how blind people check their wiping: do they go on flavor or smell?
BluesF@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Oh, is that not a thing some places? I think the majority are outside here in the UK, generally electricals are not allowed inside the bathroom (although I’m not sure this actually covers light switches as I’m sure some of them are in there…)
Raiderkev@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Lol I’m in the states, but one of my friends houses had this “feature” growing up. I definitely turned the light off on him a few times. To top it off, this bathroom had no windows so it got fucking dark in there. It wouldn’t even work today, everyone has phones w them now n would just use that after you turned it off. Kids these days…
lgmjon64@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Of course.
UmeU@lemmy.world 9 months ago
MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 9 months ago
ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca 9 months ago
American toilets gave me culture shock
They’re so shallow that you can’t even sit down without your junk touching the bowl or the water
samus12345@lemmy.world 9 months ago
They had these in Germany, too. If you took a particularly massive shit sometimes the water pressure wasn’t enough to shove it into the hole.
LordWiggle@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Those are actually French toilets. They were designed like this so you can check for blood and other abnormalities. British toilets were designed so the poop would fall in the water, reducing the stench. The British design proved more popular, yet the French design is better with less splashing and for checking. It’s important to check, to find out if there’s something wrong with your intestines like cancer (black blood) or a tapeworm. The British didn’t find this important, just like washing hands after pooping.
baggachipz@sh.itjust.works 9 months ago
You should see the Dutch Oven….
bitchkat@lemmy.world 9 months ago
The poop shelf makes it easier to use the poop knife.
JimVanDeventer@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Pedophiles in the olympics, our strange toilets with the “poop shelf”; I just can’t win today.
Phoenix3875@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Comments on toilets from France, England, and Germany by Slaboj Zizek: youtube.com/watch?v=8mtZmBvat4k
Another good bit (not in the video) is that Zizek thinks that’s why Germans can endure great pain and sacrifices for an ideal…if you are strong enough to observe your shit for health reasons, there’s nothing you can’t do!
PenisDuckCuck9001@lemmynsfw.com 9 months ago
What if I don’t want to observe my turd on an elevated toilet pedestal though?
Nikls94@lemmy.world 9 months ago
It’s so you can examine your stool, you might have some blood or a consistency you don’t like, that way you see it
unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de 9 months ago
I know the meme is that people use it to look at the poop, but honestly the main advantage is the 0% chance of water splashing up. I will take this design over the “standard” ones any day.
Gaassporks@feddit.nl 9 months ago
I’m a bit shocked with reactions I read. You’ve probably never heard of figure shitting. I tried to figure shit some letters of the alphabet. I’m great at the letter P and R.
polumrak@lemmy.world 9 months ago
How do you inspect your stool for blood, then?
AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 9 months ago
In hungary too in some older toilets. Tbh its better because of less splash.
werefreeatlast@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Finally, the hole is in the right side! Now my 12" penis feels right at home!
Fedizen@lemmy.world 9 months ago
literal take on shitposting
SonicBlue03@sh.itjust.works 9 months ago
This is how you go Dutch.
Jumpingspiderman@lemmy.world 9 months ago
German toilets are like that too.
Xatolos@reddthat.com 9 months ago
Meanwhile in Italy
uis@lemm.ee 9 months ago
Poop and scoop
set_secret@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Usa drops kids off at pool, the dutch stack shelves.
suction@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Strange hills Americans choose to die on for 500, Alex
nul42@lemmy.ca 9 months ago
This post helps me understand Zizek on ideology and toilets.
ReallyActuallyFrankenstein@lemmynsfw.com 9 months ago
I’m confused, isn’t this a better spot for the drain hole? When you sit facing the wall? So you have a shelf for your comic books and chocolate milk?
flambonkscious@sh.itjust.works 9 months ago
Ah, touché
Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 9 months ago
It looks like it’s designed to soak your balls. I’m not into this.
aStonedSanta@lemm.ee 9 months ago
southparkshop.com/…/SB-NSFW-WO_Viacom_SouthPark_T…
BruceTwarzen@lemm.ee 9 months ago
We had these here as well and i have no idea. The only thing i ever heard that made sense was it was easier to take stool samples. That makes some sense, but why would every household need them?
Schmuppes@lemmy.world 9 months ago
Serious answer: The design had easy stool sample collection in mind.
pigup@lemmy.world 9 months ago
I’ve blastes this all over Reddit back in the day and now I’ll blast it here: HOW OFTEN ARE THE DUTCH COLLECTING THEIR STOOLS THAT THEY NEED THIS KIND OF TOILET IN EVERY HOUSEHOLD? THEY USE IT EVERY DAY AND NOT JUST AT A DOCTOR’S OFFICE OR A HOSPITAL WHERE YOU WOULD THINK THAT STOOL SAMPLES WOULD BE COLLECTED OFTEN.
To this day no one has ever given me a reasonable believable explanation that makes sense. I’d be happy to hear that “all the greedy corporate toilet makers didn’t want to change their design to save money and now we’re all stuck with this dumb toilet blah blah blah” or “we Dutch folk have a special device to sit on that you don’t see in this picture that makes the design of this toilet sensible” or even “we simply love looking at a big stinky pile of s*** every time we take a dump you wouldn’t understand we’re Dutch”
I stayed in hotels and motels in the Netherlands and they all had the stupid toilet and it stanks so bad and they don’t believe in ventilated bathroom so you just have to open a window and smell it and your wife and kids have to smell it too. it’s so dumb.