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⁨562⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨SSUPII@sopuli.xyz⁩ to ⁨[deleted]⁩

https://sopuli.xyz/pictrs/image/6691a920-c6f1-4042-b4bf-b520616d612a.webp

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  • Asafum@feddit.nl ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Are you stupid?! I make 1 billion an hour repairing door hinges! What kind of fool takes this kind of “deal”

    Scam! Release the door hinge files!

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    • Lemminary@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Are you stupid?!

      You could say they’re… unhinged 😎

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  • MimicJar@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Yes. I can spend those two hours watching door hinge repair videos on YouTube, I was going to do that anyway.

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    • 123@programming.dev ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Spend 2 hours watching door hinge repair videos followed by buying a new house since you have 500m.

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      • MimicJar@lemmy.world ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        A new house! Just think of all the new doors with hinges that need adjusting.

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    • ivanafterall@lemmy.world ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Sure you were. And then you were finally going to get around to fixing them, right!? Just take your precious money.

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    • Jankatarch@lemmy.world ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Your youtube recommendations for the next 3.4 years will include door hinges.

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  • mfed1122@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    This is how those onlyfans promo account posts read. “Would you (obese gamer virgin) fuck me (fit nude model) however you want if I begged you for it enough???”

    And then the comments like “yes baby I’d love to 😋😍😉”

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    • krooklochurm@lemmy.ca ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I fucking hate this whole dynamic.

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    • Localhorst86@feddit.org ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      “If you could do anything with me in a hotel room, what would you do?”

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      • Grimtuck@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Scrabble

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  • Ironfacebuster@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I just honestly don’t think I could. They say money can’t buy happiness and it sure as hell can’t buy a properly self installed and adjusted door hinge.

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  • Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    As long as I can break door hinges for those 2 hours, I’m good.

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  • JustVik@lemmy.ml ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I would buy a tent and a pickup truck. Then I’ll set up a tent in the back of the pickup truck. And I’m going to have a house on wheels without door hinges because tents don’t have door hinges. Crazy enough?

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    • captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

      truck doors have hinges. I have been known to fix those.

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  • Wilco@lemmy.zip ⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    WTF is this on about?

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    • wieson@feddit.org ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      You can pretend, you can lie to yourself and us - your friends - but your door hinge repair addiction is becoming a problem.
      So we’ve pooled some of our resources together to try to help you…

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  • rainbowbunny@slrpnk.net ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    What rhymes with orange?

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    • WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      No it doesn’t.

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    • CH3DD4R_G0BL1N@sh.itjust.works ⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Doorhinge

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    • prime_number_314159@lemmy.world ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      “Sporange” does. If you’re especially bad at pronouncing words, many other things also rhyme with orange, like flange, range, and monkey.

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      • BanMe@lemmy.world ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Porridge, horseridge, the entire first act of Hamlet, LaBron James’ telephone number in Spanish,

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    • SeventySeven@sh.itjust.works ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Drake and Josh reference, nice.

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  • pruwybn@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I would simply use $250 million to buy replacements door hinges for the ones I can’t fix during that time. Easy peasy.

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  • Anissem@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    On a serious note, if you have a striped screw on a door hinge, put some tooth picks in the hole, snap off the bit that sticks out, and put the screw back in. I’ve fixed so many doors this way.

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    • BootLoop@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Does it matter what direction the stripes run on the screw? :)

      To add to this, a stripped screw into concrete or brick can be fixed with the same method but using a small piece of copper wire the length of the screw.

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      • Anissem@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Unfortunately I don’t know enough about screws to tell if this is a joke

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    • TheRealKuni@piefed.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      You don’t need wood glue? Just the toothpicks?

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      • Anissem@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        I’ve gotten many loose screws tight with just toothpicks, no glue.

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      • bzLem0n@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Wood glue and toothpicks, without the glue the toothpicks would get pulled out.

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      • marcos@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        You are better with some plastic, but any flexible material will do. Glue will only make you life harder.

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  • Wispy2891@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Plot twist, you’re teleported in a room that will be set on fire if a switch isn’t pressed within 2 hours and broken door hinge blocks you from pressing it

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    • groet@feddit.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Every broken doorhinge can be bypassed in two ways. Fix it. Or break it more.

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    • ulterno@programming.dev ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Perhaps you could look for an alternate solution?

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  • AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    “Name 10 things that aren’t Jackie Chan!”

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    • Nalivai@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      A piece of paper with number “1” written on it.
      A piece of paper with number “2” written on it.
      A piece of paper with number “3” written on it.
      A piece of paper with number “4” written on it.
      A piece of paper with number “5” written on it.
      A piece of paper with number “6” written on it.
      A piece of paper with number “7” written on it.
      A piece of paper with “Jackie Chan” written on it.
      …
      Damn it, I was so close

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    • otacon239@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Uuuuhhh… Laptop, horse, Jackie Chan — Damn!

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      • altphoto@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Jacklyn Chan, Jackie Chan-Darn!

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    • ordnance_qf_17_pounder@reddthat.com ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Football. Lamp. Pizza. Floor. Tree. Car. Jackie Chan. Billboard. Hot air balloon. Hydroelectric dam.

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      • ordnance_qf_17_pounder@reddthat.com ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        ah fuck

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  • ApertureUA@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    And how do I explain my income to federal agencies?

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    • ivanafterall@lemmy.world ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Pretty sure there’s no IRS anymore. Just give Trump some gold-plated turd and you get a no taxes season pass.

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      • ApertureUA@lemmy.today ⁨12⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Ah yes, everyone on the internet is American

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    • Burninator05@lemmy.world ⁨20⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I conveniently own a laundromat and several other cash only businesses.

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    • boonhet@sopuli.xyz ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      As long as you pay taxes on it, IRS ain’t snitching.

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    • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      I am a door to door salesman.

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      • ApertureUA@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        Good for you.

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    • ArmchairAce1944@discuss.online ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      It fell of a truck.

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  • vale@sh.itjust.works ⁨16⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    define “fix”

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    • Agent641@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Like with all the exes!

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  • Siethron@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    You all are misinterpetting this. If in the rest of your life you spend 2 hours or more fixing door hinges the 500 million is revoked and if you’re in the negative now they take your organs to make up for the deficit.

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    • grte@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      If I had half a billion dollars I can promise you I would be spending zero seconds of the rest of my life screwing in door hinges.

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      • binarytobis@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        I can imagine the genie thinking “Bwahaha I tricked you!” and then getting increasingly frustrated that I never fix a door hinge again even though I didn’t notice the trick wording.

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      • sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

        If I had that money I could finally pursue my passion of fixing door hinges.

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  • empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    I work for a door company, that’s going to be super difficult

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    • bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      They’ll probably fire you. What will you do without a job!?!

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    • ButteryMonkey@piefed.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      Take a day off, or like, just quit instead.

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      • empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        A day off? In this economy?

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      • ivanafterall@lemmy.world ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        Some of us have bills to pay.

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    • hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      ever heard of free time?

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      • empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

        what’s that?

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  • guy@piefed.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Like, I am not allowed to or I just physically can’t?

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  • LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Pretty sure it’s been 5 years since I’ve meddled with any door hinge.

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    • tetris11@feddit.uk ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

      it’s been less than a year, and to this day that door just ain’t right

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    • ivanafterall@lemmy.world ⁨23⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      You’re not fooling anybody here, friend.

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  • IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    what am unhinged proposition

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  • tgcoldrockn@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Replace your ‘door’ hinges with ‘cabinet’ or ‘industrial maritime’ hinges and you’re set.

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  • icelimit@lemmy.ml ⁨19⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    What’s this meme about?

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  • lugal@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Two metric hours or two imperial hours?

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  • Triumph@fedia.io ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Pro tip:

    If the holes in the door frame are wallowed out, jam some pieces of toothpick in there first, then put the hinge on and screw it in.

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  • zxqwas@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    What’s the ruling on paying someone to fix a door hinge? Knowing my luck it’s when the bathroom and front door comes off.

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  • HikingVet@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Smoke a few joints and make a garden bed.

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  • Bazell@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    At first I thought that I actually need to fix any door and the challenge would be a very complicated dozen hinged door and was OK with it, but then well, damn… I realized that this challenge is impossible.

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  • danekrae@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Image

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  • marzhall@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Do I still get to grease squeaky hinges? If so, maybe a deal.

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  • Luci@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    God no omg

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  • Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    Image

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