AdolfSchmitler
@AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world
- Comment on No thanks, Honey isn't vegan 1 day ago:
Probably miss obvious attempts of being hit on.
“What floor you guys going to?” “Oh, we’re GOING DOWN.” “OK, so like, ground floor or basement?” “Oh we dont mean the elevator.” “… did you mean the stairs?”
- Comment on ONG 💯 2 days ago:
I find it kinda sus, I find it kinda cap, The dreams in which I’m dying Are the ones that kinda slap
- Comment on Frog and Toad go to Mars 6 days ago:
This is how 95% of bad trip stories start btw
- Comment on Naaaaaahhhh 😂🤣 2 weeks ago:
You’re on your way home from a hard day’s work, looks like there was an accident or something on the freeway, traffic isn’t moving at all. Perfect.
You slide your pants down, getting excited already, all that work turning this car into the Goon-Mobile finally gonna pay some dividends.
You pull your VR headset down like a submarine captain getting ready to dive, you’ve got a 2 hour loop of your top vids always playing, never know when you might get an opportunity.
As you’re about to enter Goonsville it’s all just too much. You blow your load after 20 seconds. As you catch your breath and raise your VR headset, you make eye contact with the passenger of the lifted truck next to you.
Traffic hasn’t moved.
- Comment on Thomas Brodie-Sangster (left) and Luke Bracey (right), both of whom play major roles in the TV series „Artful Dodger”, are less than a year apart in age (born in May 1990 and April 1989 respectively). 2 weeks ago:
He’s an outlier stop comparing him to literally everyone
- Comment on This perfectly encapsulates both the current state of capitalism and my rapidly declining mental health. 2 weeks ago:
Is it just me or are there way more “collabs” between brands now? Or movie/TV show tie-ins too. Seems like nothing is just it’s own thing, sure they have the “original” but it’s right next to all the cross promotional stuff too. Am i watching capitalism ouroboros itself?
- Comment on Hello my urine angels. 😇 2 weeks ago:
- Comment on BioWare Was Asked to Remove LGBTQ Flag from Canceled Mass Effect Game, Report Says 2 weeks ago:
Do you seriously think they did this in an effort to win some sort of Islamic cultural victory over the degenerate west?
Not even remotely. Nobody brought this up except you in your first comment. I guess my question is why do YOU think that WE think that the UAE bought EA to implement sharia law?? Where did you hear that from?
And yes, I get the “diversification” angle. That makes sense. But wouldn’t that mean they would have to… keep making games? And based on the past censorship needed to sell games in the UAE wouldn’t it stand to reason they would want that same level of censorship in games they make themselves? They aren’t doing it to “secretly prime people to accept sharia law” but simply because not censoring the games would be against their beliefs?
That’s more the vibe I was getting from people commenting about it.
- Comment on BioWare Was Asked to Remove LGBTQ Flag from Canceled Mass Effect Game, Report Says 2 weeks ago:
Why did they buy EA then? So they could NOT make games? So they could close everything down and go out of business?
- Comment on name too hard? brain go ouch! Vote red. 2 weeks ago:
Don’t worry, in a few more weeks you can just call him Mr. Senator
- Comment on Be better 2 weeks ago:
I mean, kind of glossing over how strong childhood trauma can be. Feels like they’re saying “just get over it already”.
Unless people are trying to use that as a free pass for acting shitty somehow.
- Comment on Anon's friend gets exposed 2 weeks ago:
Yeah, I feel like after 30 age gaps in dating aren’t even talked about.
- Comment on Anon's friend gets exposed 2 weeks ago:
27 / 2 = 13.5 + 7 = 20.5
Apparently its ok. Idk how many people heard of the “half your age + 7” rule of thumb.
Jerry Seinfeld dated a 17 year old when he was like 38 which is way worse and he just kinda… got away with it?
- Comment on Anon's friend gets exposed 2 weeks ago:
Whoosh. Idk how much more of an obvious joke someone could make. Reminds me of one.
I took my girlfriend out for our anniversary one time, but we kept getting funny looks at the restaurant cuz Im 30 but she’s only 23. So we left. Cuz I’ll be dammed if I let people ruin our 10 year anniversary.
- Comment on Buddha orders a pizza: "Make me One with Everything" 2 weeks ago:
I was gifted a book called “Pointing at the Moon” that was filled with these things. Stuff like "A student was asked by a master, “what was you’re face before you were born? The student walked to a river, saw his face reflected in the water, and was enlightened.” Like wtf is that supposed to mean? Lol.
I didn’t even understand the title of the book until I saw this meme.
- Comment on How come fat chance and slim chance both mean the same thing? 2 weeks ago:
Wait until you find out a grill utensil is called a spatula but a tool to mix baking ingredients is also called a spatula.
- Comment on Anon tries being social 3 weeks ago:
I’m glad you compulsively responded to every positive comment to tell them how wrong they are and how bad volunteering is.
- Comment on Ketamine addict Elon Musk believes puppets are attacking him 3 weeks ago:
The bill WILL come due for him. My bet is he flees back to South Africa, where he will be captured and beaten to death. Get it on Kalshi I’ll throw $5 on it lol.
- Comment on What happens in Jumanji (the original) if a player gets killed cause the board game? Does it just stay locked? The Robin Williams version of Jumangi. 3 weeks ago:
Imo the dead player would be considered “eliminated from the game” and the remaining players would just continue to play.
If someone wins then the dead player will be brought back to life since time reverts to just before the game was started. If everybody dies then the same reset would happen.
None of this is cannon or mentioned anywhere in the movie but just how it seems that scenario would play out.
- Comment on A French small business owner has his video game store looted 3 weeks ago:
I forget the exact details but in Milwaukee the cops shot a black kid and in response the community… burned down a gas station and hair salon in their own neighborhood.
There was a clip of a woman being interviewed begging people to stop destroying their own neighborhood. Something like “go to the suburbs and burn their shit down!! We need our weaves!”
Idk. A lot of unfocused rage and anger will take itself out on the first thing it can find.
- Comment on Me_IRL 4 weeks ago:
I enjoyed it :]
- Comment on Make Congress Earn Average American Wage. 5 weeks ago:
And getting paid $250k for being a “guest speaker” sonewhere when it’s really just a bribe. Even if congress weren’t paid any salary they would still make bank from other sources of revenue.
Its like how DJT took a “$1 presidential salary” or whatever but has made billions doing other things.
- Comment on Anook Soonamoon 5 weeks ago:
People living in a desert would think water slides are heaven. The logic checks out.
- Comment on A good reminder that it can always get worse 5 weeks ago:
That’s why they say “hell is a bottomless pit”.
No matter how bad it gets, things can ALWAYS get worse.
- Comment on Fix the system.. 5 weeks ago:
We could create great things for humanity and the world. But we work in factories making things that get marketed to be sold so a line can go up.
- Comment on I wonder what wisdom he will bestow? 1 month ago:
He was a homeless man who shit in people’s lawns lol. I know a couple stories, he’s a huge troll.
Plato was teaching a class, where they defined human as “hairless and bi-pedal”. So Diogenes plucked a chicken a brought it to class and said “Behold!! A man!”.
Diogenes was washing some vegetables in a river (naked of course) and Plato approached him and said “Diogenes, if only you could pay taxes to the king, you wouldn’t have to wash your food in a river.” And Diogenes replied “Plato, if only you could wash food in a river, you wouldn’t have to pay taxes to the king.”
Diogenes was sun bathing on a beach (naked) when Alexander the Great approached him. Being a fan he told Diogenes (who was still laying naked in the sand) that he wanted to give Diogenes a gift. Anything within Alexander’s power to give, just ask. So Diogenes asked “Could you take a few steps to the side? You’re blocking the sun.”
I have no sources just things I’ve heard lol
- Comment on scam alert 1 month ago:
She’s not turning tricks tho, she’s robbing people
- Comment on Sounds Pretty Cool Honestly 1 month ago:
Can I just get #2 three times?
- Comment on Get 8 out of every 24 1 month ago:
Thank you for your wisdom monkey man
- Comment on Smokes are for jokes, bud 1 month ago:
Hocus, Pocus, Alakazam, Don’t be a bitch Potter, It’s only a gram.
