Is it weird to show your son how to shave his pubes if he asked?

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• Doxatek@mander.xyz ⁨7⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

  If he’s reasonably intelligent I’m sure you could just explain it to him and give some tips. It’s not rocket science.

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• southsamurai@sh.itjust.works ⁨14⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

  People are fucking weird. There’s also prudes and morons that assume any contact at all has to be some kind of horror.

  But we’re supposed to teach our kids how to clean and manage their bodies. That’s the job; we do it for them when they’re too young to do it themselves, or if something temporarily/permanently disables them from doing so.

  It isn’t weird to help with genital care under those circumstances either. You gotta teach kids how to wash their junk, and if they want/need to change their pubic hair, it’s part of the job to discuss it, decide if it’s the right choice at that point, and if the mutually agreed answer is yes, to teach them how not to screw up.

  For real, who else is supposed to? You gonna hire a nurse or nurse’s assistant to teach them? That’s weird, and there aren’t any specialists in aesthetics that are going to agree to it in most circumstances when the kid is under the local age of consent. Too much risk.

  And even that assumes that the kid is going to be okay with a stranger helping them with their genitals. Not every kid would be. For me, there’s no way I’m going to have a total stranger fiddling with my kid’s junk for non medical reasons, even if the kid was alright with it.

  You did the job, end of story.

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• shaggyb@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

  No. Please teach your child to groom himself safely. Particularly if he WANTS TO LEARN - that is a miracle in itself.

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• charade_you_are@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  No, it’s just weird to ask about it on a public forum

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• Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

  people are expected to teach their kids to wash under the foreskin, and some people apparently think it’s just dandy to perform genital mutilation on their children, so no teaching them to shave doesn’t register on the weirdness scale.

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• PlutoniumAcid@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  You’re a good dad. Not just because you helped your son, but even more so because he already had the confidence of knowing he can ask you a question like that.

  Keep on doing what you’re doing. You’re a good dad.

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• Gieselbrecht@feddit.org ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  I mean, this is not something I would necessarily recount to my colleagues or some acquaintances, but I would say you did good. You can be proud of yourself that you were able to create an atmosphere at home where your son felt comfortable asking this question, as you said it yourself.

  If it hasn’t already happened, this might also be a good time to talk about safer sex to him.

  This is a very european perspective, so depending on your location and other factors, your kilometrage may vary.

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  • FuglyDuck@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I feel like it’s weird to talk about kids learning hygiene or bathing or grooming at work is weird.

    But super important to actually teach your kid- and id put this in that category.

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• FeelzGoodMan420@eviltoast.org ⁨44⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

  Is your 14 year old son sexually active? If so, seems a bit on the early side to me…I guess I was sexually active at 16, but the two years from 14 to 16 is HUGE at that age.

  I’m asking because idk why else your son would have the urge to shave his pubes…

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  • Zwuzelmaus@feddit.org ⁨18⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

    Not helpful.

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• Zwuzelmaus@feddit.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

  I can’t help but wonder if people around me would think it crossed a boundary.

  More details please: How many people have been around when you did that?

  (You don’t need to tell the others)

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• qwestjest78@lemmy.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  When I was a kid I asked my dad this same question and I will never forget how frazzled he was by it. He told me some b.s. answer like, “Oh, I don’t know. You don’t really need to do that.”

  He made me feel humiliated for asking. At a certain point I could not ignore it anymore though, so when I experimented and tried to figure it out myself, I did cut myself and there was blood everywhere. I was terrified and thought I was going to bleed out. Luckily it wasn’t really that bad and I managed it on my own, but I remember how scared I was.

  After going through all that, I told myself that I would help my future son if he ever asked me a question like that. You are a better dad than mine was in this situation. It’s your job to help them with whatever they need, and it would have meant a lot to me back then if my dad had helped me the way you did. I can guarantee your son appreciated it and will remember how you looked out for him.

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• Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

  Trust your gut when it comes to these things - which it seems to me like you did. Doesn’t matter if everyone around you agrees. Still kudos for seeking a reality check. Better safe than sorry.

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• Lemminary@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

  Honestly? Congrats, you’re the dad many people wish they had. I’m not going to do that with my nephews, but I hope I get close to that aperture and understanding.

  Not weird in my book! I used to shower with my parents when I was little.

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• cRazi_man@europe.pub ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  No

  I can’t see how people would find out unless your son tells them.

  If you’re wondering if ANYONE out there would find this weird, then the answer is yes. There are lots of people who have strange ideas and odd thoughts about what is inappropriate. So if you told lots of people, I’m sure someone would find it weird.

  But that doesnt actually make it weird or wrong. You were right to do what you did. Anyone who tried to judge you for it would be wrong.

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• JASN_DE@feddit.org ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  On one hand, I’m proud that I created the open environment I always wanted growing up.

  And congratulations on that!

  On the other hand, I can’t help but wonder if people around me would think it crossed a boundary.

  You’d have to ask the people around you. But does it really matter? Also, who would go around and tell other people things like that?

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• Tywele@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  How would that even come up in conversation? Or how would the people around you know?

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  • Constantine_@sh.itjust.works ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    True, it’s probably just my overthinking working overtime. As a parent you’re always up for criticism, so that’s probably what’s causing it.

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• nickwitha_k@lemmy.sdf.org ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  I would say that I think it’s weird because I think shaved pubes are weird (and experienced horrific razor burn when I tried it back in college).

  Sounds like you are a fucking rockstar dad though. That’s a very vulnerable thing to think about asking your parent for a teenage boy. Lots of self-consciousness and trying to figure oneself out. That he felt comfortable asking you says a lot. That you stepped up to ensure that he knew how to do so safely says a lot too.

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• atk007@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Proud of you man. Growing up didn’t have dad around, so I remember being embarrassed when my school mates were talking about shaving. Then out of the blue, one of my uncles gifted me this gift pack of razors, and went on to explain how to do it. Also explained why you need to separate razors for pubic hair from other uses anywhere else.

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• ada@piefed.blahaj.zone ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  You've shown your kid that he's in charge of his own body, and shown him that you can be trusted if he approaches you with sensitive or embarassing topics.

  What other people think is irrelevant, because your relationship with your kid will be forever better because you've shown him you can be trusted.

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• gon@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  My dad helped me shave my face, it’s really not very different. It’s just personal grooming.

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• SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  www.usa.philips.com/c-m-pe/…/oneblade-intimate

  If you or your son ever want a slightly simpler option, I recommend this. It has been a game changer for me personally.

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  • Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

    holy shit the usb-to-AC cable is real

    Image

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• GaMEChld@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Maybe atypical, but I wouldn’t call it weird like it was wrong or something. Though I’m not entirely sure what there is to show. I feel like you kinda just have to get the hang of it yourself. The risks and fears are not irrational. No one wants to knick down there. But the concept is pretty straight forward.

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  • Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

    there is one extremely important thing to teach: pull the skin taut

    so long as the skin is taut you’re way way less likely to cut yourself

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• davidagain@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  I think it’s weird to shave your pubes, and I think that based on who started that trend, why they started it and why it became popular, but people younger than me who don’t remember any different disagree strongly.

  But the fact that your son trusts you with that question and that you calmly helped him and didn’t make a big deal out of it, is an absolute parenting win. Who does your teenaged son go to when he’s worried about something personal and sensitive and embarrassing? He goes to you, and you help him and he is right to trust you.

  You are doing excellently as a dad.

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