ada

@ada@piefed.blahaj.zone

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨An ambitious Baldur's Gate 3 custom campaign mod's first build is up and running, and its devs are teasing demo news soon⁩ ⁨⁨10⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago⁩:

  Playing nude and modding seem like two different things :P

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Donald Trump dominated extraordinary NATO summit that saw European defence spending increase⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Not everyone. We have them turned off for a reason!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Why does good faith matter ?⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  There are better ways of convincing non involved participants than debate, especially it's an argument around human rights, bigotry, transphobia, racism etc. Getting in to a debate normalises the idea that "both sides" of these arguments have similar validity and value.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Honestly, I think they're worse than people say. There might be the odd good news story to come out of them, but they are designed to get you to fork out cash, and stay around and keep forking out cash, so their whole goal is to feed you hope, without ever causing you to be successful enough to leave.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨My bonfire last night for Winter Solstice⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Damper and chestnuts? Quite the cultural combination there!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Dear Kevin⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Archaea and Everything Else (I can't remember the other domain)

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨What's the best way to respond to someone who says "transracial is just as valid as transgender"?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  People see the same ideas echoed over and over again, and eventually it shapes how they think. That’s why regular, everyday people, people who aren’t even political start parroting right-wing talking points. Even my kids and their friends are saying this stuff.

  You are 100% correct on this part.

  The problem is, arguing with them magnifies that effect, it doesn't challenge it.

  That's not to say you shouldn't push back. I don't mean smile and agree, or just ignore them. Deplatforming works, protests work, proud visibility works, civil disobedience works. Responding negatively works. Making it so that there is a social cost to being a transphobe works.

  But debating them isn't any of those things. Debating them is engaging with them, and in the act of arguing with you, they actually solidify the beliefs they already hold, and this is especially true of heavily polarised issues. Here's some research on it https://www.nature.com/articles/s41562-023-01623-8 (PDF link), and an article that goes in to the topic a bit https://www.discovermagazine.com/mind/why-is-it-that-even-proven-facts-cant-change-some-peoples-minds

  As much as it feels right to argue with them, all you are doing is strengthening their already held beliefs when you do. It might feel like its helping, but it isn't. You'll read my response, and you'll likely go "screw that, you're wrong, I'm going to keep arguing". And that's the exact effect I'm talking about at play. Every time you argue with someone, they have that same internal reaction to your comments, no matter what you say, or how strongly you believe it.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨What's the best way to respond to someone who says "transracial is just as valid as transgender"?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  So you allow them to influence other people with their ideas?

  No, absolutely not. I run instances to give gender diverse folk safe spaces. I ban transphobes the instant they appear, I don't debate them. Offline, I'm visible, active and proud. I am an volunteer at my local parkrun, I've spoken openly with people at my workplace, I've hosted a queer community radio show, I host a vodcast, and I used to be active in organising events for my local gender diverse community. Because what gets people to change their minds, is an emotional connection with the group they're targeting. When they start to see us as people, just the same as them, then they start to make choices that aren't harmful to us, and they start to wind back their own arguments.

  Pushing back is incredibly important, but debating them isn't effective. Like most people, when confronted with debate points in regards to a topic they hold on to for emotional reasons, they will shift goal posts, and only see the things that validate what they already believe, whilst ignoring the things that challenge it. When they get to the point where they're ready to challenge their ideas (because their emotional position has shifted) then, lots of the talking points you would normally debate become relevant, but by that stage, it's a discussion, not a debate.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Why do some people hate drinking water?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  I drink lots of water, but I add coffee...

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨What's the best way to respond to someone who says "transracial is just as valid as transgender"?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  You can't rationally debate someone out of a position they didn't reach through rational consideration.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Are foldable phones as good/bad as they say?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I use a Galaxy fold, and honestly, you can take my folding phone from my cold dead hands, because there is no other way in giving them up.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨YouTube relaxes moderation rules to allow more controversial content⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Why does the general attitude on Lemmy seem to lean toward more censorship and silencing of speech

  Because "censorship" in this context is a weasel word. What people complaining about censorship really want, is the ability to be more openly racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic etc. What people pushing back against that want is less bigotry.

  But because the bigots can't own their bigotry, they hide behind "censorship" and not having enough "free speech".

  This is literally youtube saying "The president says that hating on folks is ok, and we will make more money by aligning with that". It's not them taking a stance on free speech, because they still block stuff that costs them money. They still demonetise or block things that are supportive of LGBT folk for the flimsiest of reasons.

  This has nothing to do with "censorship" and everything to do with whether or not you are ok with hating on folk or not ok with it.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Bloody hell, "Mob Land" ending just sucked so hard. I'm actually pissed off.⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I'm one episode in and I was already wondering whether I'd bother to watch any more. Guess I won't be

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Should I apologize to this person?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  5 years ago, you contacted someone you met when you were both adults, which was presumably years before that? And her parents were mad at you? I'm not sure how her parents opinion on this matters to anyone but her parents?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Do De-Transitioners validate some right wing talking points?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  "trans identified individuals", with an hour old account...

  Sure, you're "just asking questions"

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The Expanse: Osiris Reborn Announcement Trailer⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Well, I'm a little bit excited

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  They're designed to be easy to navigate, and to funnel you through as many duty free stores as they can!