BanMe

@BanMe@lemmy.world

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Huge if true⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  They’re making a comeback. When you’re afflicted by a miasma or even a lecherous spirit, and it’s causing a pallor with your vigor being sapped, a cigarette can be just the thing to cool the throat and mollify the mind.

  This message was brought to you by the RFK Jr’s CDC

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Yeeeesh, tough choice.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Are the trans kids hot? What school do they go to?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The Sounds of Silence⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Apparently they just let Trump talk and didn’t respond for a full minute and Trump was like “anyway you’re the best” and they still didn’t respond and Trump’s people ended the call.

  The astronauts gave him the silent treatment. They could clearly hear him.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨holy moley⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Had that zit on his neck not popped at the worst possible time

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Can't win⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  OMG is this accurate.

  I have quit all of my vices, from meth to cigarettes, and finally did away with weed.

  Now I like who I am without weed - less anxiety, more in control, more ambitious, etc.

  But I like being high almost more than that.

  So I guess I’m going to buy a bag of weed once a month or something, get the best of both worlds? Or the worst IDK

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Maturing⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  I’m just too tired and busy. I had 4 tabs of acid in my psychedelic cupboard. Someone gave me more, now I have 7. One of these years I’ll get away and trip my balls off in a forest, but it’s not this year.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨"Trippy" Reality⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  There’s a valuable lesson here, and it’s to avoid using comic strips to identify the mushrooms you should eat to trip.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨A handy reference guide for you⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Astonishing how often I see someone start swatting at a paper wasp when it gets curious.

  The fuck? It’s like a dog smelling you, but that dog has a stinger. You don’t swat at the fucking thing. You chill out and act real casual. Maybe pretend you didn’t even notice it. What wasp? I didn’t see any wasps. Now check my back so we can get our asses inside.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨A handy reference guide for you⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Yay came here for this. I was all excited to start a couple of beehives in my back yard. Then I discovered their lineage and what they’re doing to the native bees. Instead I realized I am hosting tons of huge ass bumblebees in my yard, and I’ll just let them be(e). Maybe get some of those bee houses for solitary bees instead.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Consensual internal decapitation is such a transgressive turnon

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I can SHOW you the WORLD⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Anyone else find it weird when there’s a pic of a hot guy showing his wanger, but he’s obviously in his kids room, or their toys are all over the bathtub? Like, we can assume you’re a DILF without needing to know their actual favorite Marvel characters. Anyway. Amateur porn always a bit weird.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨A shrubbery!⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Now you’re asking the questions they don’t want you to ask

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I've sunk to a new low⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Huh “submarine” rhymes with “guillotine” I just noticed

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Hoppy Easter⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  We’re here to celebrate the anniversary of Humanity’s defeat of Christ, when we sent him recoiling back to his home dimension for all time (he threatened a speedy return but didn’t make good on it) with the Devil, played here by Will Smith, exclaiming “welcome to earf, Motherfucker.” Russell Crowe costars as a roman guard.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Times sure have changed⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Amber Heard

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Anon is bored of it all⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  I knew a lady who had this annoying saying, "if you’re bored, you’re boring.* I mean really, sayings like that irritate me to no end. Unfortunately it’s true.

  We were all better when boredom was the great motivator to go out and do things, now it’s the motivator to (insert socially acceptable addiction here).

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Wrong answers only - what is this?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Fast

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨dyk⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Bit chauvinistic to assume women can’t be necrophiles if they put their minds to it, innit?

  Unlike the FBI I don’t make crass assumptions about my perverts.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Save me from going down a dark path⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  AA taught me to pray to myself, because I am the only god (creative force) who is along for the journey in my headspace. It’s actually incredibly effective. Determination setting. We use the word “god” a lot and get so caught up in what it must mean according to large groups, and we lose focus on what it means on an individual scale, which is where recovery happens.

  The tip is to find a group full of angry atheists because then you get to use the whole hour unpacking religious trauma and bashing the church while you reclaim these words for yourself - “god,” that’s your word.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Save me from going down a dark path⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Doing nothing doesn’t do a damn thing. It should be one tool in a toolbox. AA is not like the other things on there, just like CBT isn’t like those things, just like medication isn’t like those things. GP1s just landed in the medication toolbox. Addiction is incredibly complex and includes a spiritual component. If you don’t like how the program does it, go start your own alcohol treatment protocol, hell a global network of meetings and instant support, and see how far you get. I’m super eager to see it.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨And no paper towels to use on the handle⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I use my scrotum like an oven mitt

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨It hurts.⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  It was a golf course. A sex golf course. For ghosts!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Any day now⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Unless they’re parked legally I just push them over, away from the sidewalk. And someone else has started as well! They do a decent job of coming to get them and put them somewhere allowed, all in a row. But the app requires you to take geostamped photos so they have proof their riders are just putting them in the middle of the sidewalk and walking away, and they don’t care.

  Flipside, they’re hella nice to grab to work if my car is down or if it’s just nice, and you could techically get across my entire city on them (stopping to swap I assume) so there’s a bit of democratization about them, but you’d be dumb to try that.

  They should be free if they’re going to be letting them leave tomorrow’s e-waste on our sidewalks. Maybe we could all pay for them together somehow idk

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Knowing that boomers had the "hate my wife/husband" humor because they were rushed to marry borderline strangers and didn't believe in therapy but can't prove it⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Yeah. There’s actually good evidence we were happier when we had a small choice of partners who we grew up with and then had to select from. Divorce rates were lower because people tried harder to make it work. Today we have the illusion of an endless scroll worth of partners so it’s easier to throw in the towel and start again, looking for that storybook romance Disney et al promised us.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨omg hes just like me⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Jellyfish are the ocean’s condoms. These are the ocean’s big punchy balloon things. Either way Spongebob is having a good weekend.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨omg hes just like me⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  As the old saying goes anyway

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The Art of the Deal⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Yeah but the climate change wars will not go the way the Americans think they will. It’ll topple itself by sheer virtue of its geographic size once the real shit hits the fan, and the former allies will be there with puppet warlords ready to carve up the interior.

  Is how I’m putting that in my “looking for in retirement” section of the ol’ Grindr profile

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Guess this is where I’m at now⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I am envious of shorter people sometimes, that just sounds like a DIY waterboarding situation for my 6’2 ass, but you make it sound really nice

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨3D Print some math.⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  That’s the main timeline you’re experiencing, it’s totally normal

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Has the scientific community ever reconciled with the fact global warming is going to happen and there is no stopping it?⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I had to reckon with this as a civic-minded class of 2000, we got the early digital everything and they had such fanfare for bringing us up, and into the future, a gateway to a new generation - and as kids, we had media for 20 years telling us something had to change - they told us Millennials were going to solve the looming problems of the past. But then we found out the world didn’t really want those changes, and we burned out like Great Value Incandescents. Then it was several years of “how do I plan a retirement against the coming climate wars…” and then the Great Despair where I just did drugs for several years and gave up,