After some unfortunate interactions with older coworkers, I’ve started thinking that so many shitty aspects of our work culture exist because working men wanted an excuse to be away from their wives and children.
Knowing that boomers had the "hate my wife/husband" humor because they were rushed to marry borderline strangers and didn't believe in therapy but can't prove it
Submitted 2 weeks ago by Beep@lemmus.org to [deleted]
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Comments
DigDoug@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
protist@retrofed.com 2 weeks ago
Totally underrated topic is how many Boomers were raised by WWII veterans with severe, untreated PTSD
dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
This. A LOT of this. There’s a reason why the VFW has/had a lot of alcohol available, cigarettes were super popular, and why biker clubs became a thing post-war. The “greatest generation” was doing a lot of self-medication without managing to fix anything.
You can kind of see boomers become aware of how that’s not okay, as the tone of war movies shifts dramatically from WWII to Vietnam. They still missed the mark, but at least the idea of vets having “flashbacks” was something in popular media from that point forward. It was progress, if however minimal and incremental.
bitjunkie@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
While society collectively knew very little about proper nutrition, and most of them were inadvertently ingesting a fuckton of lead. In that light, it’s actually kind of insane we’re not on an even worse timeline…
lath@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
For most of known human history, marriage - or its equivalent - has been seen as an obligation. To marry freely or not marry at all are modern sensibilities.
UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Happiest couple I know was in an arranged marriage by their parents starting at the age of 9.
They grew up together, went to the same schools, shared hobbies, were fully familiar with each other’s extended families, and the future-wife ended up going down the aisle slightly pregnant. They’ve been together for nearly 50 years, have three kids (one of whom was a friend in high school), and are both thoroughly convinced that American romances are dumb, shortsighted, and a big reason for the country’s endemic poverty.
Of course, this family is also stupid rich.
The couples that I see fail are consistently either poor to the point that they can’t afford a basic standard of living or where one parent is traveling all the time while the other is stuck with perpetual child care. Inevitably one (or both) cheat, or just have a series of meltdowns that end in a break up.
The handful of couples I know where one partner was closeted or just slow to recognize their own queerness seem to be some of the happiest. The relationships tend to be open or poly, to accommodate one or the other. But neither seem to mind. I even know one couple that did get divorced (primarily because the wife was constantly traveling), but you’d never know it given how much time they end up spending together when she’s home.
The “I hate my wife” crowd I do know tends to be the ones that are traveling so much they never really see one another except to deal with some financial bullshit, housework, or kids.
fluffykittycat@slrpnk.net 2 weeks ago
Money is clearly the main factor here. The majority of my marriage stress is poverty related
SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 weeks ago
It’s largely from intergenerationl trauma, in my opinion. I think if we could somehow get a large chunk of society the mental health help they so desperately need, we could at least be helping enough people to make a positive difference in their children’s lives. The thing is, its just such a monumental task, I doubt we’ll ever really be rid of all the trauma and weird ancient cultural expectations that live within nearly everyone.
ThomasWilliams@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
It was just a thing comedians did to sympathise with people who couldn’t get partners.
BanMe@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Yeah. There’s actually good evidence we were happier when we had a small choice of partners who we grew up with and then had to select from. Divorce rates were lower because people tried harder to make it work. Today we have the illusion of an endless scroll worth of partners so it’s easier to throw in the towel and start again, looking for that storybook romance Disney et al promised us.
Skv@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
More like most no one was educated in contraceptives, condoms weren’t a thing, and 99% were brainwashed on Christianity and life’s only purpose was to spawn. Pour all of that into a glass and shotgun weddings due to pregnancy, rushing marriage since it allowed guild-free sex, and caring about what your little new suburban town and Church thought of you and you get a horrible mental mess.
Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
As someone who’s only done guild-free sex, I’m now somewhat interested in learning more about the guild.
dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
May I recommend looking into your local kink-scene? I know you’re joking, but honestly, that’s the closest thing to an actual “sex guild” and it may be worth your while. Bigger metro areas typically have highly organized clubs for this - no fooling. If nothing else, you can learn some very cool things to do with rope.
SnarkoPolo@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
I’m Gen Jones, grew up in a very conservative area, and the Boomers a couple years above me definitely did this. By the time I graduated, though, the yuppie mentality was beginning, and we were more focused on college and career.
The other factor seems to have been social class. The kids from blue collar families tended to be married and have children at a younger age.
Assassassin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 weeks ago
I have a strong suspicion that a lot of them are also deeply closeted.
Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
I know a few dozen boomers who have told me: “just because you’ve slept with or had a few relationships with women doesn’t make you bi. You married a man, so obviously you’re straight”.
Yeah… That’s not what those words mean.
CompactFlax@discuss.tchncs.de 2 weeks ago
“People choose their sexuality”
tacosanonymous@mander.xyz 2 weeks ago
Yeah, they really need that to be true or their worldview collapses.
gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
I mean… grindr’s load (heh) data effectively proves that a lot of RNC attendees are taking the “save a horse, ride a cowboy” lyric to heart