boonhet
@boonhet@sopuli.xyz
- Comment on Sounded really nice UNTIL you get the FULL story 14 hours ago:
Unless you have winters. Japanese cars of that m era are prone to rust.
- Comment on How do you beat post-work floppiness? 15 hours ago:
This sounds like the best advice here tbh.
At this point OP is probably conditioned to be tired when home, because they’re always tired when home. Gotta get those sweet activities in, THEN go home and sleep. Meal prepping might help so there’s no need to go home to cook dinner, but I’m not a well-adjusted enough adult for that, I’d just try to find a healthy meal outside, or do OMAD or something.
- Comment on How do you beat post-work floppiness? 15 hours ago:
Food is free, but farming takes effort and resources (such as fertilizers and tools) and acquiring the resources also takes effort and resources and…
At the end of the day, we all just want to get more out of our time than what we’d get by doing everything ourselves. And the capitalists of course get the most out of their time, if they even actually spend their time doing anything productive. Many don’t
- Comment on Anon takes a DNA test 15 hours ago:
Okay, I’ll unpack a bit. It’s clear that some things I said can be taken the wrong way and perhaps it’s not clear what was me making general statements about what seems to happen in people’s heads in some scenarios vs what was my personal anecdote and such. This happens a lot, I have ADHD and sometimes seemingly obvious leaps between different points are not very obvious to others.
But if a woman cheats and has a baby, that baby always becomes part of the family. If a man cheats and has a baby… Either it comes out immediately when the woman in question asks for child support or tells the man’s wife/girlfriend, or it doesn’t really come out because that woman is also in a relationship and wants to pass the child off as her man’s. Plus even if 10 years down the line the woman comes out and says “hey you remember that time you cheated on your wife? Well I’d like you to meet our child”, that’s a lot less personal than raising someone else’s kid as your own and then finding out 10, 20 or maybe 40 years later.
What?
This I meant as to why there are more stories of women cheating and getting caught a long time after the fact (besides the obvious gender bias and double standards where women are just held to a higher standard when family and relationship stuff is concerned). It can just come out in a DNA test of your own child that you’ve been raising for decades. No, I personally have not experienced this. I didn’t mean to insinuate that women cheat on purpose or that women cheating is worse than men cheating. Just that raising someone else’s child as your own can be very traumatic to find out decades later and this is more likely to happen when women cheat, because… well… by the miracle of childbirth we always know exactly who the baby’s mom is, but not who the dad is. And if a man cheats and it comes out decades later when the kid reaches out, for an example, the man is often forgiven - both because we tend to hold men to lesser standards regarding relationships and because the child that was conceived wasn’t raised by the woman that was cheated on, so it might feel a bit less personal and traumatic. It’s an event that happened long ago vs something you’ve been living with the entire time.
I’m hoping no surprises despite my slut of an ex having been with what I’m guessing may be dozens of other dudes in the <2 years we were together. The whole “pill baby” was so perfectly planned though, that I’m pretty sure she took a break from whoring until she was pregnant. In fact it’s what she did with her first kid’s father - quick break from whoring when she found a nice target, boom, pregnant, and then she was free to sleep with everyone again while he was at work.
There is a ton to unpack here that I’m afraid I simply do not have the strength for. What I can say is that your perspective is skewed.
This part is my personal anecdote. It wasn’t meant to insinuate that this is common at all. It doesn’t even change how I view women in general, it only makes me very careful about sex and relationships in the future. This is one very special woman, in that when she finally goes to hell, the devil’s out of a job - and I’m not even religious. Allow me to elaborate. I’m the second victim and the first victim’s story is similar to mine. In both cases, she got pregnant very early in a relationship (in my case after she found out I was having doubts about having a relationship with her in the first place, because to me it was just a fling at first, but I was stupid and believed her when she said she was on the pill. I’m a fucking idiot). Look, I’ll skip most of the trauma dump. She was violent towards me, always threatened suicide, yada yada, boring. Put me at least 70k EUR in debt, spent my dad’s inheritance, and we had nothing to show for it. At peak I made so much money on a monthly basis that I could’ve had 3 mortgages and 2 car payments and still feed the family and go on vacations - except instead it all went to her shit and consumer loans for shit that had no real value. She never worked a single day in the time we were in a relationship, she immediately took sick leave after we met and then quit her job a bit later. At peak I worked 250 hours a month AND took care of the children most of the time. This means that for like half a year I got 2-3 hours of sleep per night and she kept telling me I wasn’t helping with the children enough, I wasn’t working enough, I was always sleeping, while SHE was sleeping 12 hours a day and the rest of the time she was usually out (like I said, whoring). In less than 2 years, we had over 50 strollers. 6 or 7 cars. She had me buy 15 winter jackets during her pregnancy. Now the bitch is trying to get me to pay child support, so she kidnapped our toddler and immediately demanded money - while I’d been raising said child alone for 4 months and GIVING HER money instead of asking for child support that I was literally entitled to. Well I got my child back and things are fine now, except she’s threatening me with court twice a day (without ever actually suing me because she has no money and she knows she’d lose if she did, because I haven’t done anything wrong). Oh, and the cheating I mentioned earlier? She doesn’t even do it because of horny. She literally does it because she enjoys being in control, having more freedom than her partner. That’s also why she accuses every single partner of hers of cheating, while she’s cheated on every single partner she’s had.
So my case for thinking I should get a DNA test done is to see if all this has at least been for my own child. Because after the shit I’ve personally gone through, after I’ve wasted a quarter million and almost ruined all my friendships over 2 years because of someone who never actually even LIKED me, I’d like to know the reason I endured all this instead of telling her to fuck off was at least really for my own child, not someone else’s. Yes, I’m selfish like that. What will I do if I find out it’s not mine? Probably nothing, because I can’t ruin an innocent young life by sentencing them to live with someone who actually thinks hitting a 3 year old with a belt for not eating is reasonable. But if she ever manages to get custody somehow, I’ll at least know I can dodge child support, which is the only thing she’s actually after.
But I do not think this is common. The “have a child to keep a man” crowd can’t be very big because it’s not a very successful strategy. And literally every woman I know that isn’t retired has a job, I literally don’t know anyone else coasting by on an indentured man like that. Besides my ex of course. But she’s not getting hit by a karma freight train, she’s getting hit by a karma oil tanker really soon.
That being said, people also cheat because they’re horny impulsive idiots that seem to think STDs don’t exist, let alone the biggest STD of them all : pregnancy (I’m kidding, childbirth is a beautiful thing — typically).
Yes, I agree, this is the actual more common reason for cheating. That, or the relationship being dead already. In the above described relationship, I came real close to cheating at one point. Like “if we’d had some time alone, it would’ve happened” close, with a mutual friend who also despised her by then - my ex abused her too. It didn’t happen so I can still proudly say I’ve never cheated on anyone in my life, but I can see how an unhealthy relationship can drive someone to cheat too.
And I mean, I am still happy to be a father. My child’s amazing. I’ve never felt such love from anyone except perhaps my own mother. But I’ll never be able to explain why mommy and daddy really aren’t together, or why daddy’s fighting so hard to keep mommy away. I’ll have to lie, because nobody should ever find out that this shit was how and why they were born.
Not everyone is a criminal mastermind nymphomaniac roping unsuspecting men into… whatever the fuck her goal was.
Literally money. I drove a nice car when we met, I had a well-paid job where I could slack off a bit while working at home and she liked that I had both money AND time to give her the attention she wanted. Her other baby daddy similarly is very hard working and was well-off financially, though he worked a very different type of job, with strict schedules and such. Makes for very easy cheating of course.
Seriously, you can’t let yourself think like that.
Eh, look, I don’t. This anecdote wasn’t meant to convey that I think cheating women get pregnant on purpose. My ex did, twice, but she’s a special kind of evil. It was more of a “this is a thing that can happen … I should check if my child is actually my own, because if anyone’s likely to knowingly hide a child’s true parentage, it’s my ex” jump to a related topic because, again, I have ADHD and make weird connections in my head and sometimes the leaps I make aren’t clear and I also don’t describe them clearly enough.
I am actually still hoping to find “the one”. By which I mean a sane person I have interests in common with that actually likes me not my ability to make money appear out of thin air when the need is dire, and is willing to stay employed when in a relationship. After all this fuckery, I do still think there’s someone out there for me to enjoy the rest of my life with. It’s because I’m lucky enough to have awesome female friends. If I didn’t have any, I’d probably be an extreme misogynist by now.
- Comment on 20 hours ago:
Eh that depends on how the system is set up. If injection isn’t based on the cam position at all, no real worries. If the car also needs precisely timed injection, you’re in trouble. Variable valve timing and stuff will probably complicate this as well. I don’t think I’ve ever had that in a car, my petrol engines have mostly been old beaters where the timing system is much simpler.
Personally I drive a common-rail diesel. It wouldn’t even start with a bad cam sensor I suspect, because it needs to know the exact moment to inject fuel straight into the cylinder. But then my old Chrysler 300M was a car that, in my case had a bad crank sensor (so needed to be replaced for sure), but a lot of the guys who had bad cam sensors just kept driving till they got the new part. Which often took time.
- Comment on Anon takes a DNA test 22 hours ago:
Basically a lot of women cheat… and similarly a lot of men cheat. I have no numbers, but I know women usually say all men are cheaters and men usually say all women are cheaters so I’m guessing both genders cheat way too much. But if a woman cheats and has a baby, that baby always becomes part of the family. If a man cheats and has a baby… Either it comes out immediately when the woman in question asks for child support or tells the man’s wife/girlfriend, or it doesn’t really come out because that woman is also in a relationship and wants to pass the child off as her man’s. Plus even if 10 years down the line the woman comes out and says “hey you remember that time you cheated on your wife? Well I’d like you to meet our child”, that’s a lot less personal than raising someone else’s kid as your own and then finding out 10, 20 or maybe 40 years later.
Reminds me I should get a DNA test done while my kid’s age is still single digits. I’m hoping no surprises despite my slut of an ex having been with what I’m guessing may be dozens of other dudes in the <2 years we were together. The whole “pill baby” was so perfectly planned though, that I’m pretty sure she took a break from whoring until she was pregnant. In fact it’s what she did with her first kid’s father - quick break from whoring when she found a nice target, boom, pregnant, and then she was free to sleep with everyone again while he was at work. He ended up paying one of her regulars to take photos of her snaps with a second phone just so he could finally have proof.
But yeah, people on 4chan and many subreddits love women cheating stories. Anything to hate women. I try not to be a misogynist, but having gone through what I’ve gone through it’s super easy to automatically believe cheating stories of all kinds. But to be fair I believe them automatically whether the cheater is a man or a woman, that doesn’t matter to me. I just hate humans.
- Comment on Our first look at the Steam Machine, Valve’s ambitious new game console 23 hours ago:
It’s supposed to be a console. You connect it to your TV and it more or less just works. Like a PS5 or Series X, except it has more games. The entire thing consumes about half the power of just my low-end graphics card from a few years ago (3060 ti). These CPUs also aren’t available as socketed versions, nor would it be a good idea because then a user might use a chip that generates too much heat compared to the design here.
This ISN’T meant to compete with a PC. If you already have a gaming PC, you don’t want a Steam Machine. If you have a current gen console, you probably don’t want a Steam Machine.
There’s a lot of speculation as to the price. If any of the guesses from various outlets end up being true, it could be less than $500 and potentially less than $400, while there have been hints at the next generation of Xbox costing $1000. But this is all speculation.
Basically, it’s a way to get into gaming with a console-like experience, a low price, and the ability to keep your game library when you evolve into a “real” PC gamer. Honestly, if my kid was old enough to get into gaming, I’d consider one. Genius move from Valve targeting specifically a market previously untapped by them - not us folks who already buy our games on Steam.
- Comment on 1 day ago:
It’s actually an ancient Estonian meme translated into English (of course, Estonian grammar being as complex as it is, the full depth of the grammatical errors is hard to convey in English)
- Comment on Learning to drive 1 day ago:
I went to a bar 3-4 times a week and it was the best period of my life. I then got other responsibilities and can no longer go.
Just don’t get completely hammered every night
- Comment on 1 day ago:
Some people do be like that. My grandpa went to the doctor for a checkup because of pneumonia and they told him about his heart attacks that he’d just quietly had at home.
Needless to say, he didn’t have much longer after that.
- Comment on 1 day ago:
All the road is broken, my car twice broken, twice I goes mechanic, he say 500 euros. I go left, right
Tap for spoiler
I’ll buy the first person who recognizes the reference a beer
- Comment on 1 day ago:
Bad cam sensor doesn’t necessarily disable the vehicle but a bad crank sensor usually does. Bad cam sensor just means you’re going to waste sparks.
- Comment on 1 day ago:
Incidentally the first visit to a specialty doctor is 20€ and subsequent visits are free so that’s about how much it costs here.
- Comment on 1 day ago:
Yes. Severe sleep apnea for years. Getting my CPAP for testing real soon now that I’ve been diagnosed… A third time. Long story. First time was not severe enough, second time my psycho ex said if I start sleeping with a CPAP, I better find another bed to sleep in and now I’m gloriously single and nobody can tell me to keep killing myself because the near quiet him of the CPAP is annoying.
- Comment on Learning to drive 1 day ago:
I get your pain but personally I think social events work better without driving anyway because then you can consume alcohol
- Comment on Bank Workers, Rejoice! 1 day ago:
Normally you also make payments towards the principal and build equity. As I understand, most of these buy to let loans actually only have you pay interest so you’ll never own the property. If the value even after 20 or 30 years drops below the initial value, you’re in the negative and need to pay up the difference if you can’t make payments anymore. Whereas with a normal mortgage once you’ve paid it off, fluctuating values can’t put you in severe financial trouble.
- Comment on Bank Workers, Rejoice! 1 day ago:
I hear ass is pretty easy to give away. Much harder to get ass, especially if you’re choosy about the gender of the ass owner.
- Comment on fragile masculinity 1 day ago:
I grew up somewhat poor, small town with no fast food, post-soviet nation. We had a garden and a greenhouse. I was a teen when I found out how flavourless tomatoes can be. Because we’d always grown our own and didn’t use them as much in the winter when they needed to be bought from the store lol
- Comment on fragile masculinity 1 day ago:
Fresh tomatoes out of your own greenhouse are amazing, that’s why
- Comment on I've heard New Yorkers are devastated 2 days ago:
Fuck coumo
- Comment on I miss him 3 days ago:
I just can’t get over how her name is Girl Amick lol
- Comment on One Of The Best Games Ever Turns 25, And You Still Can't Buy It 3 days ago:
Oh, right. I forgot American ISPs are allowed to pull shit like that. I don’t think this would fly where I live. I also don’t use public WiFi, because why would I even
- Comment on One Of The Best Games Ever Turns 25, And You Still Can't Buy It 3 days ago:
It really doesn’t, on a technical level.
You’re not sending them any data. None that they send you is unique to you. There’s no real benefit in encrypting it.
- Comment on Production can't keep up with demand (corporate greed) 3 days ago:
Anglo spotted
It’s different in sane first-world countries. Anglosphere countries are the worst at this. I suspect it’s all the Murdoch media.
- Comment on I'm saying that when you're ready you won't need to dodge Bond James Bond's bullets 4 days ago:
There’s still good movies coming out these days, just far fewer of them. Steer clear of the blockbusters and the really low effort slop and there’s still a few mid-budget original movies made every year generally.
- Comment on It's so annoying when you just can't spell 4 days ago:
Birch. Coniferous trees are north-south, deciduous trees east-west.
- Comment on Does anyone know what's inside this building? 5 days ago:
Likely still occurs. Nowadays the equipment is different but most of the communications on the east coast go through thar building I believe?
- Comment on Does anyone know what's inside this building? 5 days ago:
Oh ffs is nobody normal? Why does every actor have to be a sex pest?
- Comment on Never ride in a car with a guy who just got dumped 5 days ago:
It’s the sudden stop that gets ya
- Comment on Dead 5 days ago: