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German joke

⁨521⁩ ⁨likes⁩

Submitted ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩ by ⁨inari@piefed.zip⁩ to ⁨memes@sopuli.xyz⁩

https://media.piefed.zip/posts/KN/yo/KNyoRlsHE1r85PH.jpg

source

Comments

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  • arotrios@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Another German banger I heard awhile ago:

    “Ask me if I’m a schoolbus.”

    “Are you a schoolbus?”

    “No.”

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    • aeronmelon@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      So German humor is anti-meme?

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      • protogen420@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        it is post modern

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    • wieson@feddit.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I’m sitting on the train by myself and cackling. I don’t know why I find it so funny.

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      • arotrios@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Found the German.

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  • blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I think this forklift training video is pretty funny

    youtu.be/ja7ap6AEuYU

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    • Maultasche@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Image

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    • MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Not Safe For Mental Health.

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      • KokusnussRitter@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        but safe for work fingerguns pew pew

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      • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        it’s been a while. i can’t remember if SFK survives or not

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    • SirLeToet@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I first saw this video when getting my forklift license, lol. It being an official instruction video somehow makes it better.

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  • Kushan@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Hey now, the Germans take humour very seriously! It’s no laughing matter.

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  • abbiistabbii@piefed.blahaj.zone ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    So there are actually some German wartime jokes that are actually quite funny. Here’s some that I heard:

    • " Where I live there’s now a lot of warehouses, there were houses and there were houses, and there were houses!”
    • “How can you tell an optimist from a pessimist? The optimist is learning English and the pessimist is learning Russian.”
    • One day at the barracks there was a soldier on his knees looking around the ground, picking up random papers he found and going “no, no that’s not it”. His officer asked what he was doing, “I’m looking for my special paper”. He sent him to the doctor and he was declared insane, when the doctor gave him his discharge papers he explained “ah, there’s my special paper!”
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    • HugeNerd@lemmy.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      How would a German joke work based on english homonyms?

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      • crater2150@feddit.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        It’s just a coincidence that the same words are homonyms in English and German in this case: “Warehouses” = “Warenhäuser”, “There were houses” = “Dort waren Häuser”. You don’t even have to translate to colloquial German as the other comment suggests, a word-by-word translation works here.

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      • boonhet@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        So I went and googled it out of curiosity, after remembering that German for was/were (in some form anyway) is ‘war’.

        I found this in a thread about Downfall and a translated joke where someone was wondering what the original was:

        The German pun uses ‘Warenhaus’ department store and “Da war 'n Haus” - “there was/used to be a house”.

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      • AlteredEgo@lemmy.ml ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Germans hate humor so much that hey renamed “The Simpsons” to “Die Simpsons!” in German TV.

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      • ilinamorato@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        English and German derive from a common root language, so I’d honestly be surprised if there weren’t some that do.

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    • mojofrododojo@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      these are wunderbar

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    • kestrel7_7@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      These are gold, thank you for posting

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  • Archimedes@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Knock knock

    Who’s there?

    WE ARE ZE ONES WHO ASK ZE QVESTIONS!

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    • kamen@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Protection from what? Ze Germans?

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  • agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?

    One, they are an efficient people and lack a strong sense of humor

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    • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Poor lighting is no laughing matter.

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      • ExtremeUnicorn@feddit.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        It really isn’t.

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    • SirLeToet@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Zero. Efficient germans use efficient LED.

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      • boonhet@sopuli.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        LED bulbs still exist and are more efficient to use than LED fixtures where you have to change the entire lamp instead of a bulb!

        In fact, I’ve got a room with six such fixtures and only one still works.

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    • RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      What? Do lightbulbs get stuck if you tell a joke?

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      • agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        You must be German

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  • NoPanko@feddit.uk ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I’ve met many funny germans, and then 1 german guy who so perfectly fits the stereotype that I almost think its a bit in its own right.

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  • Enkrod@feddit.org ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Honestly I very much enjoy German humor, but I do understand why people don’t always get it, because it comes in two distinct styles with (imho) vastly different qualities:

    1. Just plain silly (see: Otto Waalkes), can be good but it is often with such a heavy handed punchline that it just doesn’t feel funny anymore. This is the only time people recognize that a German tried to be funny and it often lands flat for people with a more refined sense of humor.

    2. Irony and sarcasm, dark and extremely, extremely, sometimes unbearably dry. People who did not grow up with it will often not recognize that a joke has been made at all, because Germans are the kings of straight-face-delivery. This is where german humor hides its refinement and wit and since it’s often undetectable, people imagine we’re just not funny. But if you catch it, this shit is HILARIOUS.

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    • Slashme@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      People who don’t think Germans can be funny haven’t seen Loriot.

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      • Enkrod@feddit.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Yes! That’s a WAY better example than Otto.

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    • nightlily@leminal.space ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I work with one guy who is a master of the second style to the extent that even other Germans don’t notice he’s joking.

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      • Enkrod@feddit.org ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        That’s a common occurrence and since “you don’t explain jokes” sometimes in a group one person says something, one other person starts laughing uncontrollably and all the others just look on confused and will never get an explanation. It’s often a test of who pays attention, who you are on the same wavelength with and who has the wit to register the joke.

        People getting each others jokes, while others don’t, is quite often the basis for lifelong friendships.

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    • abysmalpoptart@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      The Germans we’ve met LOVE silly puns and plays on words.

      One time I was playing in a German beer pong event, and one of our opposing teams was “ten inches soft” (in English). They introduce ourselves (all in English), and one of the guys says to us “do you get it? It’s about the penis!” And we just died laughing.

      It’s great honestly

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      • Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        See, thats why I think a lot of non-germans don’t get German humor, there isn’t a scenario where you say “10 inches soft” that isn’t a dick joke, so when the punchline comes around “haha it is about penis”, the recipient is confused thinking they missed the real punchline.

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      • RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Which Germans have we met?

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    • DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I’m of German descent on both sides of my family and I can confirm the dry, and sometimes dark humor.

      My dad would drop drive-by jokes that you might not get for a couple of days.

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    • mojofrododojo@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      type 1 - fozzy

      type 2 - Statler and Waldorf

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  • AeonFelis@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    German jokes are the wurst

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  • Seppo@sopuli.xyz ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I think most English and Americans would be surprised to learn that large parts of Europe view Germans as uncultured and a bit trash. They dress poorly, can’t cook and would sell their mother for some quick cash. Austrians are just Germans except fatter and with a diaper fetish.

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    • Rumo161@feddit.org ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I have never heard those stereotypes about germany anywhere. Its a ragebait post so im not supprised.

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    • Waterpumpee@lemmus.org ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Detected the French dude

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    • daggermoon@piefed.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I’m curious about that last part. Please elaborate.

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    • NaibofTabr@infosec.pub ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      can’t cook

      Bavaria would like a word.

      If anybody in Europe can’t cook, it’s the Poles.

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      • sober_monk@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        If anybody in Europe can’t cook, it’s the Poles.

        That’s a wild-ass take about the people who gave us pierogi and kielbasa. Bigos and golabki are pretty awesome too.

        I mostly heard negative opinions about Dutch cuisine. Despite the popularity of stoopwafel lol

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      • AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Anywhere north of the Alps, cuisine had to function as a means of enduring the long, cold winter. Hence a lot of it is hearty stodge, without the joie de vivre one finds closer to the Mediterranean.

        If Bavaria is any better, its proximity to Italy may be of credit.

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      • KokusnussRitter@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        I’d like to throw the brits into the mix.

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      • Miaou@jlai.lu ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        God please tag this nsfl. Have you even tried Bavarian food? At least Poland has good bakeries

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      • majster@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        But is this the average experience? Everyday meal? I think not. Mediterraneans have good everyday meals rest of Europe only for sundays. Tomatoes vs cabbage&potato.

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    • BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I can’t confirm any of that except the cooking part. There’s a German restaurant near us, and the entire menu is various forms of Wurst - sausages. Apparently, their entire culinary range consists of hot dogs.

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      • friendlymessage@feddit.org ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        That’s simply a bad restaurant

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    • edinbruh@feddit.it ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Name something more German than wearing socks with Birkenstocks

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      • thousandyardstare@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Germany

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      • Rumo161@feddit.org ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Which is a style again.

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      • rbos@lemmy.ca ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Ive tried that, i find the socks make them too likely to slip when I walk. Don’t understand it.

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  • captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    German humor is no laughing matter.

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  • MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Image

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    • lichtmetzger@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      That joke only works in German because “treffen” has two meanings: meet and hit.

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      • prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Ah so kind of like “a man walks into a bar and says ouch”

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  • The_v@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    German humor is usually not funny and a bit mean.

    The Dutch have compensated for their neighbors with an over-developed sense of humor.

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    • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      i have a dutch friend whose favorite joke is:
      knock knock
      who’s there
      interrupting cow
      interrupting cow who?
      …dammit

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      • forkDestroyer@infosec.pub ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        This whole thread is making me cry laugh

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      • meekah@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        I don’t get either joke TT_TT

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    • Wildmimic@anarchist.nexus ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      German humor is fine, but much of the german language humor does not translate well, because it is often using puns, double entendre or subversion of expectations, and you have to actively listen to them - just hearing it without paying attention might cause that you don’t ever realize a joke was made. And I wouldn’t say it’s mean, but it is often dark and hitting where it really hurts regarding whatever goes wrong in society. I heard once that people start laughing if they can’t bear the pain anymore, and a lot of german humor fits this saying well.

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    • protogen420@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      what is belgian humor like?

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      • TheOctonaut@piefed.zip ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Same as the rest of France

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      • discow@lemmy.zip ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        www.jeroom-inc.com/en-gb/comics

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      • Honytawk@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        There are 2 pizzas in the oven.

        Says the one pizza: “It is getting really warm in here!”

        Then the other pizza says: “Eww! A talking pizza!”

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      • PrimeMinisterKeyes@leminal.space ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

        Maybe you’ll recognize some of the titles on here.
        Some puns inevitably get lost in translation, though.

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    • Slashme@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I completely disagree. The people I meet in my daily life have a very healthy sense of humour, not mean at all. And in popular media? Look at Loriot, Sebastian Pufpaff, Hazel Brugger (sure, she’s Swiss, but hugely popular in Germany), Anke Engelke and Bastian Pastewka, Ladykracher in general…

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  • deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I read that as it was gay (as in happy) until they walked in.

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    • yermaw@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Thank you. I’d have spent ages thinking about how that could possibly be funny.

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    • RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I’m pretty sure they’re just calling us gay.

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  • Waffelmeister@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Gottseidank heißt unser Führer nicht Kräuter. Sonst hieße es den ganzen Tag Heilkräuter! Heilkräuter!

    Karl Valentin

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  • Wildmimic@anarchist.nexus ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Zwei Kamele sitzen im Keller und hacken Petroleum. Sagt das eine zum anderen:"Du, morgen ist Weihnachen!”. Sagt das andere:"Ich weiß, ich bin eh mit dem Fahhrad da.”

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    • kshade@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Sitzen zwei Kamele im Keller und stricken Benzin. Kommt ein Schraubenzieher, läuft ein mal den Türrahmen hoch und wieder herunter und verschwindet wieder. Fragt das eine Kamel: “Du, hast du dat geseh’n?” Sagt das andere Kamel: “Jau, der is öfter hier.”

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  • Kolanaki@pawb.social ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Germany has some of the best wordplay. Puns aplenty over there.

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  • SpicyLizards@reddthat.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Wolfcastle - that’s the joke

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  • DonAntonioMagino@feddit.nl ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Germans are funnier than the average American. American humour seems to amount to claiming you own random countries and then threatening military action.

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  • doleo@lemmy.one ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    What are we doing here? Is country bashing funny again?

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  • ArmchairAce1944@discuss.online ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    My suggestion is to watch the documentary laughing with Hitler to see that not only do Germans have a scathing sense of humor, but also were willing to die for their jokes.

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  • Warl0k3@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    The funniest german joke is Deutsche Bahn…

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  • ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Uwe Boll movies left a lasting scar on the image of Germans…

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  • S_H_K@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Dude the meme game they have is on point you’d be surprised…

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  • SpamTabulosa@feddit.uk ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Obligatory r/germanhumour

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  • Clutter@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    German people tell each other what they mean. We do not make a difference between man and woman in that. Perhaps that is why your woman do not trust you.

    I’m glad they laugh at you though.

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  • DrStanleyGoodspeed@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I think Germans are pretty Damm funny tbh. They’re silly

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  • rizzothesmall@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    I quite enjoy Henning When, especially when he appears on typically British things like (cats) Countdown or radio 4 shows like Just a Minute and I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue

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  • Hadriscus@jlai.lu ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Women are always the recipients of all humor, as were their mothers, and their grandmothers before them, and as will be their daughters, and their granddaughters after them, for it is the will of the Elders

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  • schnurrito@discuss.tchncs.de ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    People who genuinely think Germans cannot be funny should check out Otto Waalkes.

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