captain_aggravated
@captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works
Linux gamer, retired aviator, profanity enthusiast Took a temporary honorary demotion of one grade to honor Captain Kori.
- Comment on Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time Remake Trailer 3 days ago:
To be fair to Nintendo, they painted themselves into a corner.
The first game was supposed to capture the feeling Myamoto had when exploring the woods near his home as a kid, so it has an excuse plot about collecting magical plot tokens on a quest to rescue a princess from a monster. It did well enough to get a very dissimilar sequel, because Nintendo also hates sequels. Myamoto always wants to do something new, he always resists making more of a good thing.
The third game, A Link to the Past, returned to the top-down dungeon crawl, but there was room on the cartridge now for some NPC dialog, so they wrote some backstory. And they got a little carried away becuase they wrote a creation myth, a deep backstory of the kingdom, a villain, and the design document of the rest of the series. The fourth game, Link’s Awakening on Gameboy, is canonically a dream. It all happened in Link’s head.
The fifth game, Ocarina of Time, is a prequel, they made a game out of A Link to the Past’s fluff text. Fans went fucking nuts for it. The sixth game, Majora’s Mask, is a game made on a strict one-year deadline, it has themes of constantly ticking clocks and impending doom. Write what you know, boys.
The Oracle games are side stories that don’t effect the overall story, Wind Waker is the way it is because Myamoto went on a vacation to the beach and liked it, see also Mario Sunshine. Minish Cap is a distant prequel that takes place before OoT, and then Twilight Princess came out, made almost entirely to address the backlash against the cartoony art style of Wind Waker and to a lesser extent Minish Cap.
Nintendo sold the Wii on its motion control gimmick. Twilight Princess was a launch title for the game, but TP was designed for the Gamecube and they just mapped wiimote swipes to button presses. They took the rest of that long console generation to develop Skyward Sword with actual motion controls, and it was yet another distant prequel even predating Minish Cap.
It’s the 2010s by now. Youtube exists, and fans are starting to make video essays about the sprawling, self-contradictory series and trying to form it into a cohesive whole. Detecting a merchandising opportunity, Nintendo releases Hyrule Historia, a nearly 300 page hardcover book that among other things contained the officially sanctioned timeline of events: The timeline splits into three separate parallel realities at Ocarina of Time, meaning some of the biggest entries in the series to date: A Link to the Past, Wind Waker and Twilight Princess, had nothing to do with each other.
One 3DS sequel to ALttP later that largely takes place in yet another alternate reality, and they come out with Breath of the Wild, which is deliberately nowhere on the timeline and contains details established in all three split realities, followed by Tears of the Kingdom which retcons even Ocarina of Time out of existence.
TL;DR: The story of the Legend of Zelda series is best summed up by its main character, Link, when he said “Hep! Hap! HEEEEEYAH!”
- Comment on buffalo buffalo shitpost in the wild 4 days ago:
Would have been a funnier joke if the bottom sentence was written in a different handwriting.
- Comment on buffalo buffalo shitpost in the wild 4 days ago:
Cows eat a lot of grass. They shit like a cement mixer.
- Comment on Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time Remake Trailer 4 days ago:
Each game can stand on its own. Nintendo is well aware that its audience will always include children playing their first Zelda game on their first console.
If any of the games refer back to a previous one, it will almost always be Ocarina of Time. OoT depicts the origin story of the series’ main villain, so the boss fight at the end of that game marks the “Year Zero” for the series kind of the way the Battle of Yavin does in the Star Wars fandom.
Because Ocarina of Time involves time travel, it actually forks the timeline into three paths: Link is defeated, Link defeats Ganon and the timeline continues from there, Link travels back in time to prevent Ganon from rising to power in the first place. Later a fourth branch was established: Prequels, set before the events of OoT.
At least one game is a fever dream, at least two games take place in other, faraway kingdoms, at least one game can be interpreted as a fever dream or a faraway kingdom, and then Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom seem to be a reboot of the series because ToTK retells OoT’s story and retells it wrong.
- Comment on Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time Remake Trailer 4 days ago:
Okay so. A primer on the Zelda franchise:
Nintendo dislikes video games with stories, and they nakedly hate video game franchises with overall lore. Nintendo wants to make video games that are mechanically fun, “it’s fun to jump on the thing.” “It’s fun to swing a sword ad the thing.” “It’s fun to throw a ball at the thing.” Look no farther than their primary flagship franchise, the Mario series, for games with an excuse plot and highly polished primary gameplay loops. You can tell they truly, madly, deeply resent their secondary flagship franchise, the Zelda series, for being a more narrative driven adventure saga that attracts gamers who like deep overall lore.
Ocarina of Time is the most important game in the Zelda series’ deep overall lore.
- Comment on America’s Decline in 1 graph 4 days ago:
“Percent change” according to the axis label. “Hourly compensation” is also in units of “percent change” which also kind of reeks.
- Comment on Min wage in most states is so sad 4 days ago:
“Maintaining residences in both DC and their home state/district” I’ve got that solved: We build a dorm facility in Washington and require them to stay there.
- Comment on Video games 4 days ago:
The NES had a bunch of garbage software anyway. Look at Hydlide or King’s Knight.
- Comment on Boy Dinner 5 days ago:
You know, I read these as a humorous juxtaposition between the style of (apparently unironic, posted in earnest) “girl dinner” pictures which are usually just a few small piles of whatever from the fridge, with the r/malelivingspace attitude.
- Comment on Tasty! 5 days ago:
Vodka is meant to be colorless and flavorless, ideally pure water and ethanol.
Whiskey is made to retain flavors from the grain it isade from, and aged in charred oak barrels to impart flavors from the wood. The region of the world and the process used causes a variety of flavors.
- Comment on Cat vs Dog 6 days ago:
My cat does not attack me. Mere minutes ago she walked up, brushed her side on my shin and meowed for pets. Because she’s mentally healthy. Someone living here should be, might as well be the cat.
- Comment on Video games 6 days ago:
There have been more good Movie: The Video Game releases than Video Game: The Movie.
- Comment on Video games 1 week ago:
I kinda stand with Yahtzee Croshaw on this: The video game industry is a lot bigger than the film industry and makes a hell of a lot more money, so filmmakers should probably do a little learning their place.
- Comment on Video games 1 week ago:
What the Michael A. Stackpole is she on about?
- Comment on Video games 1 week ago:
Super Mario Bros was published in 1985 not 1972 but yeah.
Back in the 90’s, video games were new enough that you could forgive the film industry for not being familiar with them. It’s been 30 years. They still don’t get it.
- Comment on False advertising 1 week ago:
Reminds me of the time Pizza Hut took Papa John’s to court over their slogan “Better ingredients, Better pizza, Papa John’s.” Papa John’s’ winning argument was that the slogan is in nature a boastful opinion, as almost all slogans are. They submitted to evidence a search of the US Trademark office’s records of slogans in then-current use, and the only purely factual slogan they could find was Sony’s “It’s A Sony” slogan, which was only purely factual via tautology.
- Comment on why im switching up my deanposting 1 week ago:
My favorite one was “I’m your blind spot.”
- Comment on Who approved this color combination? 1 week ago:
On food and non-alcoholic packaged beverages, yes. Find me the nutrition facts on a bottle of whiskey.
- Comment on How about instead, a longer healthier retirement? 1 week ago:
“And we’re going to energize the health of the American people by outlawing medicine and contaminating all of the food with AIDS.”
- Comment on Heard We're Ween Posting 1 week ago:
Bubs looks pissed.
- Comment on Knife horse 1 week ago:
Rocks back and forth for slightly too long
No.
- Comment on Knife horse 1 week ago:
Look at my horse, my horse is so stabby, give it a lick! MMM! It tastes like Damascus.
- Comment on honey where'd you put my sandoes? 1 week ago:
No. I do not consent.
- Comment on Me_IRL 1 week ago:
My horse is amazing!
- Comment on Some good dip. 1 week ago:
Back in my day we called it teabagging, but every generation comes up with its own slang.
- Comment on German joke 1 week ago:
German humor is no laughing matter.
- Comment on Don't Worry About Retirement, Millennials 1 week ago:
Yeah, I’m white.
- Comment on Don't Worry About Retirement, Millennials 1 week ago:
Retirement doesn’t exist. Only hospice.
- Comment on Mmmm tasty 1 week ago:
Absinthe makes the mind go wander.
- Comment on Dana White isn’t a fan of college athletes getting paid: “It’s a problem. Money ruins everything” 2 weeks ago:
I’m from North Carolina. A state that features three professional, major league sports teams: The Carolina Panthers (NFL), the Carolina Hurricanes (NHL) and the Charlotte Hornets (NBA). Nobody gives a shit about any of them. The UNC/NC State/Duke trivalry is where the real action is in this state. Carolinians just don’t care about Canadian Ballet at all, and in both football and basketball seasons you’ll see WAY more Tarheel, Wolf Pack and Blue Devil jerseys out and about than Panthers or Hornets.
The actual schools are falling apart while they’re building new stadiums and sports complexes, tuition skyrockets while the coaches are the highest paid members of staff.
I think it’s a little borked.