The fuck?
There is either:
- A backstory we are missing
- Anon has a weird fetish
- mom has a weird fetish
- story is fake and straight
- story is real and gay
- some combination of the above
Anon's strict mom
Submitted 4 days ago by LifeLemons@lemmy.ml to greentext@sh.itjust.works
https://lemmy.ml/pictrs/image/d96b1066-bf1b-4f44-ab01-5fe5d1bd04e6.jpeg
Comments
spacecadet@lemm.ee 4 days ago
Arbiter@lemmy.world 4 days ago
You really thing an anon would do that? Just tell a lie?
joelfromaus@aussie.zone 4 days ago
On the internet? In 2025? Surely not.
inv3r5ion@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 days ago
- The story is bisexual and has a quantum physics relationship with the truth
Valmond@lemmy.world 4 days ago
It’s obvious fake, but this was almost the norm (it’s overblown in the “story” ofc) in the nineties, you wouldn’t go to the computer with a paper towel lol.
Before smartphones, people were spying on everyone else just out of boredom and keeping mental notes about the smallest things, also all the sex stuff was not really taught in school and everyone was interested in it but nobody talked about it.
Very different times.
GregorGizeh@lemmy.zip 4 days ago
I dont remember that.
Sonor@lemmy.world 4 days ago
especially since the computer was mostly in the living room, for all to see and use.
inv3r5ion@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 days ago
I came of age before smart phones in NY. We had sex education. We had late night fuzzy adult TV stations that had porn on them and we had porno mags and what not. I got my first phone at 14 and it was an LG flip phone where you had to press the numbers multiple times to get the right letter to send a text, so texts were short. No internet or camera on the phone either. The iPhone came out in 2007, the same year I graduated high school. There were some proto “smart” phones that came out before like the blackberry and the sidekick but their “smart” features like the internet were cumbersome to use.
It was definitely different times but by no means were we living in the dark about sex, and society pushed sex pretty hard because it sells. Now I guess with the constant screen bombardment it feels inescapable but that’s tech in 2024 for ya.
Kecessa@sh.itjust.works 4 days ago
Eh
No.
Cruxifux@feddit.nl 4 days ago
What? What the fuck are you talking about mate? What kind of weird ass place did you live in the 90’s? Like did porn magazines and late night cable TV not exist where you were?
Shortstack@reddthat.com 4 days ago
Well it’s definitely not 5 on either count
ameancow@lemmy.world 4 days ago
It’s nonsense bullshit, maybe bordering on fetish-bait.
The semen clogging the drain part is a dead giveaway, because that’s not a thing.
It became an urban legend because of a college prank years and years ago, and since then many young guys with limited critical thinking or reading comprehension failed to connect with the part of the prank that made it a prank, IE: that it’s not true.
nutsack@lemmy.world 3 days ago
anon has a mommy dom fetish that’s all
Mr_Blott@feddit.uk 4 days ago
Jesus fuck man, what kind of plumbing blocks with jizz? I could literally eat prunes and tortillas for a week and still waffle-stomp my turd down a 40mm pipe
pearsaltchocolatebar@discuss.online 4 days ago
Semen is actually fairly similar to egg whites (it can actually be used as a substitute in baking recipes). This means that when it gets hot, it cooks, and basically becomes solid.
The water in a shower is hot enough to cook it, so it can block the pipes. This is also why you should use cold water to wash it out of hair.
TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 4 days ago
it can actually be used as a substitute in baking recipes
what.
ameancow@lemmy.world 4 days ago
The water in a shower is hot enough to cook it, so it can block the pipes.
While you’re right that proteins can caugulate a little, this is a common urban legend that was started with a prank note left in a dorm bathroom many years ago.
reuters.com/…/housing-violation-notice-in-college…
(deadspin.com/will-semen-destroy-your-shower-drain…)
“Abraham Morgentaler, an associate professor of urology at Harvard Medical School and the director of Men’s Health Boston, debunked the rumor for us once and for all. In an email to Slate, Morgentaler says that not only is semen never thick enough to clog a drain, but that 20 to 30 minutes after ejaculation, it will become a runny liquid and slide away:”
I can’t understand how we got to the point with this that people have written thousands of articles about it and consulted with medical professionals. We really need better education in this country.
LordWiggle@lemmy.world 4 days ago
The water from the shower head cools down about 10°C before it hits the ground (go sit down in the shower for once, it gets damn cold). Some degrees gone before it’s washed away. Proteins become solid above 42°C, that’s why you’d die if your body temp goes over that limit. You’re saying you shower in 55°C+ water? Damn, your skin must be so extremity burned after all those showers, you probably look like Freddy Kruger.
geneva_convenience@lemmy.ml 4 days ago
You are suggesting OOP should cum in the food?
Valmond@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Mix in hair and you get a plumbers omelette
victorz@lemmy.world 4 days ago
waffle-stomp my turd
Bruh 😂
sexual_tomato@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 days ago
Start watching sissy hypnosis videos to condition yourself into eating it, obviously. It’s the only undetectable disposal method.
Kolanaki@yiffit.net 4 days ago
Just eat it you coward.
theangryseal@lemmy.world 4 days ago
Face glows when mom turns on the UV.
Slovene@feddit.nl 3 days ago
nutsack@lemmy.world 3 days ago
clogging the shower drain with cum
ok
Etterra@discuss.online 3 days ago
I’ve heard that can happen, probably with shitty older drains or ones with hair clog problems already.
MintyAnt@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Ah yes, you’ve “heard of it”
DankOfAmerica@reddthat.com 3 days ago
How much volume are you guys cumming?
vaionko@sopuli.xyz 3 days ago
A bunch of hair could get nicely cemented and sealed with cum
stebo02@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 days ago
what kind of semen clog the shower drain?
loaExMachina@sh.itjust.works 4 days ago
More like “what kind of shower drain is clogged by semen”. And indeed, there are some. One at a place I’ve lived had a filter that had to be cleaned every now and then. No fapping in it was a given, but even some melted soap that re-hardens in it could end up clogging it.
b000rg@midwest.social 4 days ago
I hate to be the one to tell you this, but I’m not entirely sure that what you were cleaning was soap. 👀
nutsack@lemmy.world 3 days ago
what the fuck are you talking about
vorlaut_boy@feddit.org 4 days ago
his mom told him.
Gullible@sh.itjust.works 4 days ago
Why not simply overflow her with your cum tissues? She’s your mom, so you should know her inside and out, so her buffer should be accessible. I ask for 257 tissues every day and my mom has no idea
starman2112@sh.itjust.works 4 days ago
I like that this implies that OP’s mom uses an 8 bit counting system
I’m imagining her at a super expensive restaurant getting a bill for like $720 and thinking "wow, this only cost $208!
amon@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Mom uses
uint64sorry
TheSlad@sh.itjust.works 4 days ago
Blow your load on her bedsheets
Etterra@discuss.online 3 days ago
You fucking move out. That’s not just abusive - it’s sociopathic.
Just remember to jerk off on her pillow first.
DankOfAmerica@reddthat.com 3 days ago
It seems more controlling than sociopathic. Sociopathic would be if the mother received pleasure from hurting him and others in some deranged and unnecessary manner. For example, she would find a way for him to hurt himself and others while taking care of business, while she enjoys the pain he and others experience.
slaacaa@lemmy.world 4 days ago
Time to break your hands
ramius345@sh.itjust.works 4 days ago
Arms.
Scott_of_the_Arctic@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Anons mum isn’t checking her own underwear with a UV light…
ARk@lemm.ee 3 days ago
what do you mean by this
Scott_of_the_Arctic@lemmy.world 3 days ago
I’m saying anon should cream into his mum’s panties.
johnnybravo@lemm.ee 3 days ago
Naughty America 💋
teije9@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 days ago
into the toilet???
also, why not toilet paper instead of tissues??
Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 4 days ago
Why tf does op masturbate in secret?
A healthy family doesn’t keep secrets from each other!Also buy a dryer, she obviously doesn’t get stuck very often.
chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 days ago
Some religions get really weird about that stuff don’t they
lenuup@reddthat.com 3 days ago
Get a girlfriend, fap in her shower
Psythik@lemmy.world 3 days ago
I moved in with mine; now I can fap anywhere in the house. She likes watching me do it. I find it awkward but whatever. At least I don’t have to pretend that the crumpled up bits of toilet paper everywhere are “snot rags” anymore.
chemicalprophet@lemm.ee 4 days ago
I think you need to fuck your mom…
kraftpudding@lemmy.world 4 days ago
-
Move out.
-
Has anon never heard of toilet paper and toilets?
-
gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de 4 days ago
i’m smelling some human rights abuses here
ameancow@lemmy.world 4 days ago
I don’t know how you can smell anything over that massive pile of bullshit.
gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de 3 days ago
you have no idea
some parents do be like that
tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 3 days ago
Is she checking her own socks and underwear?
Econgrad@lemmy.world 3 days ago
This has to be fake.
MintyAnt@lemmy.world 3 days ago
4chan posts are never fake though
guyoverthere123@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 days ago
Have both of your arms broken, you won’t be able to crank it.
Scott_of_the_Arctic@lemmy.world 3 days ago
I remember reading about a solution to this on Reddit once…
psycho_driver@lemmy.world 4 days ago
Use her panties and socks.
Dasus@lemmy.world 4 days ago
I don’t know why people are a) taking this even jokingly half serious and b) suggesting all sorts of weird and complex solutions when surely a 22-year could just buy whatever.
victorz@lemmy.world 4 days ago
Yeah just buy a cruise ship or whatever. Go into debt if you have to.
Dasus@lemmy.world 4 days ago
A pack of tissues wasn’t in double-digit millions last time I checked.
pearsaltchocolatebar@discuss.online 4 days ago
If his mom is doing that, it’s likely he doesn’t have a job because she won’t let him.
Dasus@lemmy.world 4 days ago
You genuinely believe a 22-year old to be on such a tight leash that they cant’ stuff their pockets with a bit of paper anywhere? If if he never has the money to buy a roll of toilet paper, which isn’t the most expensive item honestly, he could just walk to a fastfood joint and take some napkins.
Stop buying into the stupidest shit people write, sheesh. You’re the type to thing reality TV is real, aren’t you?
Pacattack57@lemmy.world 4 days ago
go to toilet kneel in front facing the toilet place dick between toilet seat and toilet ??? profit
Fizz@lemmy.nz 4 days ago
How can you be 22 without your own money. Go buy tissues and tell your mum to mind her own business.
Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world 3 days ago
Do your own laundry.
5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 days ago
There’s this apparatus called washing machine.
Sibbo@sopuli.xyz 4 days ago
Get a chastity fetish.
ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 4 days ago
This is how incest porn originates
MachineFab812@discuss.tchncs.de 4 days ago
MOVE OUT
Even sweatshop workers, prisoners, and the slaves who built the World Cup stadium in Qatar were/are alowed to relieve themselves. Homeless people have some option, it seems. There is no reason for OOP to unwillingly put up with this, even with crippling NEET tendencies.
state_electrician@discuss.tchncs.de 4 days ago
What kind of Wooldoor Sockbat cum clogs a shower? This is so idiotic.
Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 4 days ago
But… but… people wouldn’t just go and make shit up on the internet, would they?
MrLLM@ani.social 4 days ago
I don’t see a reason for them to… Fake internet points are not even worth a penny!
ameancow@lemmy.world 4 days ago
There’s STILL people who believe semen can clog showers because of a single prank at a campus years and years ago.
reuters.com/…/housing-violation-notice-in-college…
deadspin.com/will-semen-destroy-your-shower-drain…
yokonzo@lemmy.world 4 days ago
Oh you sweet summer children, I take it you were never in the army, or else you would know of the dreaded desert jellies, and what it means to be on shower detail
state_electrician@discuss.tchncs.de 4 days ago
But that was many, many men and not a single one.
treadful@lemmy.zip 4 days ago
I’d rather be on the front line.
AlexisFR@jlai.lu 4 days ago
With how plumber quality is in some parts? That’s believable.
pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 days ago
Clogged is probably a bit far but cum does congeal a lot with heat
JackFrostNCola@lemmy.world 3 days ago
I have a plumber mate that said that it not only congeals with the hot water but it then clumps together hair thats being washed down the drain and together they create the problem.
three@lemm.ee 4 days ago
Of course it’s stupid, that’s the point.