Hear me out:
Slice of ketchup anyone?
Submitted 3 weeks ago by favoredponcho@lemmy.zip to memes@sopuli.xyz
https://lemmy.zip/pictrs/image/49c72f8e-c817-46cc-a43f-9e64f91c6e61.avif
Comments
Hupf@feddit.org 3 weeks ago
heartSagan5@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
But I want sugar, salt and vinegar too. It adds a pep to it.
MehBlah@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
No Way!. No one does it like that anymore. Go back to the 90’s fossil.
Raiderkev@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
As someone who hates both raw tomatoes and ketchup on a burger, my brain can’t comprehend why anyone would want either on their burger. Ketchup is just so gross. It tastes like if you added a cup of sugar to the worst marinara sauce and put it in a blender. Raw tomatoes, I can’t deal with the seeds. Weirdly I enjoy barbecue sauce on a burger knowing all to well that ketchup is the main ingredient.
blargh513@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
I know a person who hates ketchup with all of her soul. Same for mayo, mustard, bbq sauce, any condiment.
However, she’ll eat a sloppy joe drowning in that sauce from the can like it’s her job.
Y’all ketchup haters is weird.
optimisticturtle@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Yeah regular ketchup is too sweet and ditto on not being fond of raw tomatoes either but the more savory kinds of ketchup or other tomato products are fine imo.
samus12345@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
I hate tomatoes but like ketchup. They’re very different.
Jax@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
I spent so long hating tomatoes. Then I had a BLT with Bread and Salt tomatoes and… that changed.
Asafum@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
How I imagine the meeting went:
“ok we’re out of ideas… Let’s just go with whatever the next thing said here is.”
“… ketchup slices?”
“…God damn it… Fine. Ketchup slices. Christ forgive me…”
terranoid@lemmy.cafe 3 weeks ago
I think it’s more, “fuck… Bad news. Our Newark factory had an operator completely fuck up and use ten times the thickening agent for the ketchup. It came out as a big fucking block, 10 feet cubed of pure ketchup.”
“Sir, I have an idea”
diabetic_porcupine@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Sergio@piefed.social 3 weeks ago
Narrator: “Christ did not forgive them.”
panda_abyss@lemmy.ca 3 weeks ago
Who comes up with these things?
rockSlayer@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 weeks ago
Capitalists
KnitWit@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
With the unit price going way up by selling a 10 pack of slices for the cost of a bottle of ketchup, somebody probably got a promotion for this idea.
SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 3 weeks ago
Great people those capitalists.
xthexder@l.sw0.com 3 weeks ago
Probably the packaging company branching out into yet another type of individually packaged single-use plastic.
RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Do you mean the squeeze or dip packets? Those are brilliant.
Patrikvo@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
People who should be removed from polite society and left on an island far far away.
DJKJuicy@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
This is ketchup leather. It’s not a new idea; it’s been around since fancy burger places with wood walls and exposed edison light bulbs started to be a thing in the early 2010s.
It’s just dehydrated ketchup. It makes ketchup more of a topping than a condiment and helps prevent the problem of everything squirting out of the other side of the bun when you take a bite.
nicolauz@feddit.org 3 weeks ago
Besides your instruction you make a fairly solid case for this product. Have you tried it?
Sounds to me it would actually work very nicely on a well made restaurant burger (in contrast to fast food burgers), which tend to have juicy meat and therefor have less need for extra lubrication.
DJKJuicy@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
I’ve tried it. The ketchup flavor gets concentrated. It’s actually a neat idea and not an abomination against nature like a lot of the comments here. There are plenty of recipes online if you want to make your own at home.
The abomination is how Hellman’s had to dumb it down and call it “ketchup slices”.
Miaou@jlai.lu 3 weeks ago
The trick is, they don’t use ketchup in restaurant burgers. Not good ones at least…
RamenJunkie@midwest.social 3 weeks ago
Isn’t this just a tomato with extra steps?
RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
That’s not a problem though.
dabu@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
How about a slice of tomato instead?
favoredponcho@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
Whoa, whoa, whoa that doesn’t make a stock price go up
stephen01king@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
They kinda don’t taste the same.
MrKoyun@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
They very much dont taste neither feel the same.
Holytimes@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
WHERE DA VINIGER AT?!
RamenJunkie@midwest.social 3 weeks ago
Tomatos are kind of gross on burgers. Like, I have thisnwarm tasty burger, lets throw a slab of cold on it to ruin it. Screw that.
texture@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
thank you
Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club 3 weeks ago
Ultraprocessed mystery meat patty?
Yes!Ultraprocessed buns with exxxtra sugar?
Yummy!Ultraprocessed processed-tomatoes, but in a slice instead of sludge?
Ewww, no, there is a line!Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
When I was a kid, I did some stupid things. And then the other kids punched me.
I stopped doing stupid things.
What I’m saying here, is that kids need to go back to punching the stupid kids. Someone should have punched whoever thought of this.
nosuchanon@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
But my safe space! /s
wander1236@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Honestly I’m intrigued. I don’t love the individual plastic wrapping, but it does seem like a good way to get ketchup all the way on the edges without worrying about spilling it everywhere
blackbrook@mander.xyz 3 weeks ago
Yes we must relieve people from the burden of having to master the difficult skill of putting condiments on a burger.
fartographer@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I’m from Texas, so they only taught us in school how to abstain with burgers.
MrSelfDestruct@piefed.zip 3 weeks ago
I love the dirty
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 3 weeks ago
How hard is putting ketchup on a burger with a squeeze bottle, and a tiny opening? I’ve never “worried” about it.
akwd169@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Seriously… the mental gymnastics to justify consumerism are pitiful
“Im aware that its surrounded in single use plastic but im willing to sacrifice anyway”
texture@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
for some people with physical disabilities it could be pretty hard
hansolo@lemmy.today 3 weeks ago
In American schools, this is considered a serving of vegetables.
minorkeys@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
People who buy this shit are why companies get to kill a certain number of us every year without consequences.
Earthman_Jim@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
It’s also why s9me of us are fine with it sometimes…
Danarchy@lemmy.nz 3 weeks ago
The first ketchup you could use to roll a fatty like dogg lemme hit that Heinz 57 Blunt
southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
I’d try it.
I doubt I’d like it for the things I tend to like ketchup with, because any thickened sauce that firm is going to have less presence on the tongue. Ketchup is a sweet, vinegary punch. You thicken that enough for a slice, and even if it’s meltable, you still don’t have the same capability of the relevant compounds to spread across the palate in the right way just isn’t there.
But it’s not some kind of crazy idea. There’s plenty of ways to get a “gel” version of a given sauce or condiment. Hell, an aspic isn’t exactly far off from this as it is, and tomato aspic is yummy as hell, if not as punchy as ketchup.
Sibbo@sopuli.xyz 3 weeks ago
If it prevents the ketchup from leaking on the other end when biting then I’m willing to try.
xthexder@l.sw0.com 3 weeks ago
If your burger isn’t leaking juices out the back when you bite into it, I think there’s room for improvement.
Sibbo@sopuli.xyz 3 weeks ago
I think people have different tastes on this matter 😄
RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Ok, so what you want to is like zigzags, so when you put the bun down and shift it around a bit you get good coverage, but it’ll stay neat. Then you can go literally the rest of your life without that problem. Welcome.
bufalo1973@piefed.social 3 weeks ago
Wasn’t ketchup bad enough?
Earthman_Jim@lemmy.zip 2 weeks ago
Fuck off America
texture@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
wow people in the comments are REALLY fired up about the idea of ketchup existing in unfamiliar forms.
einlander@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Remember when they sold non conforming ketchup colors, such as green, blue, and purple?
texture@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
yeah and full grown adults had similar knee jerk reactions.
like when i offer someone a veggie dog and they say “eww no thanks! no regular ones?” i just dont understand people who act like that.
Auli@lemmy.ca 3 weeks ago
It was good but people wouldn’t try it even though ketchup is died red. I tried all the colours I found.
1hitsong@lemmy.ml 3 weeks ago
I was so excited to try them!
We got a purple one. It wasn’t good.
The consistency was different, as if they needed to make it more watery to work with the zany squeeze bottle shape 🤷♂️
pewpew@feddit.it 3 weeks ago
Red plastic 😋
JakenVeina@midwest.social 3 weeks ago
I’d try it. Is it really any more “processed” than ketchup already is?
Sanctus@anarchist.nexus 3 weeks ago
Pat this baby next to a slice of ultra processed american cheese and reach burgerland enlightenment.
shweddy@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
This is just the ketchup that dries on the lid
JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
That looks like the same texture as the dried ketchup that gets stuck around the inside of the ketchup lid.
over_clox@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I’ll take a slice of peanut butter, a slice of mayonnaise, and a slice of banana in the middle.
janus2@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
ok but also this uses less plastic than a bottle, takes up less fridge space, and can be useful to those with some types of mobility impairments
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 3 weeks ago
This is clearly a terrible idea, one of those where you say, “How did this get the green light?”
One night, just as he was falling asleep, a food scientist employed by the company had a light bulb idea! What if ketchup came in slices, like cheese. The perfect portion, cleanly placed on a burger. Further, you could do a whole line of condiments slices - mustard mayo, relish, BBQ sauce, the list is endless! I’ll bet he didn’t sleep a wink that night.
The next day, he calls everyone together, and springs his idea, and they all start excitedly discussing it. The supervisor realizes they are on to something, so he goes to corporate.
“I just had this great idea…” (of course he takes credit), and he explains it to The Suit, who immediately understands that he could sell a 12 pack of slices for the same price as a bottle with a hundred servings, increase profits, and please the Ferengi in the boardroom. So he approves the idea enthusiastically, and goes off to take credit to his bosses.
So it all goes into production after all the testing for spoilage and such is done, and nobody ever bothered to see if it tasted decent, or if consumers would accept it. You know there was very little consumer testing done on this because, well, look at it. It’s essentially a Tomato-flavored Fruit Roll- Up. You don’t even have to taste it to know that this isn’t going to have the proper mouthfeel or taste. Not only that, but the consumer is STILL going to need a bottle of ketchup, because he can’t dip his fries into a SLICE. Does anyone believe this product was an overwhelming success with a whole series of focus tests?
The whole reason this went into production was because they convinced themselves that this awful product had the potential to be wildly profitable, if they could force the consumer to accept it. The consumer did not accept it, and their focus groups probably told them that, but they either ignored it, or maybe just didn’t do focus groups at all. It’s a great profitable idea, why endanger it by getting the opinions of the future consumers?
I hope it cost them a lot of money.
Stalinwolf@lemmy.ca 3 weeks ago
Half the fun of ketchup is the PpPpPppPpPpptt!
Except when you get juice with it…
P00ptart@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
God damnit, I thought for sure this had to be fake, so I had to check, to retain a micron of faith in humanity. But nay, it’s real.
HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
You can barely make out that she’s doing that idiotic YouTube thumbnail face in the last one
RisingSwell@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 weeks ago
Surely it’s melt back to liquid on a hot burger? I can see why this could be used, presuming it tastes fine.
deathbird@mander.xyz 3 weeks ago
Sometimes a thing is just figured out and that’s okay. You don’t have to keep trying to “innovate” or whatever.
Snapz@lemmy.world 2 weeks ago
Does anyone know what I’m referencing when I say, “and then you just add a squirt of lattice, a squirt of napkins…” Or, “quit fake pressing buttons on the microwave!!”
smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Technically this is fruit leather.
NatakuNox@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Technically this is a crime against condiments.
smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
More importantly, a crime against humanity.
Juan_de_Silentio@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Looks like a damn fruit roll-up.
Pat_Riot@lemmy.today 3 weeks ago
Tomatoes are a fruit, so…
0ops@piefed.zip 3 weeks ago
Or a blood clot
blackbrook@mander.xyz 3 weeks ago
Just slap it on a wound like Flex Tape!
s@piefed.world 3 weeks ago
Ketchup is a vegetable
smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 3 weeks ago
Sure thing, Ronnie, let’s get you back to
beddead.RamenJunkie@midwest.social 3 weeks ago
Aren’t Tomatos fruit though?
spazzman6156@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
A tomato fruit roll-up
smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 2 weeks ago
By the foot? Nope. Yard? No. It’s a to-meter!
Sergio@piefed.social 3 weeks ago
Frisbee