Hear me out:
Slice of ketchup anyone?
Submitted 1 day ago by favoredponcho@lemmy.zip to memes@sopuli.xyz
https://lemmy.zip/pictrs/image/49c72f8e-c817-46cc-a43f-9e64f91c6e61.avif
Comments
Hupf@feddit.org 1 day ago
Raiderkev@lemmy.world 2 hours ago
As someone who hates both raw tomatoes and ketchup on a burger, my brain can’t comprehend why anyone would want either on their burger. Ketchup is just so gross. It tastes like if you added a cup of sugar to the worst marinara sauce and put it in a blender. Raw tomatoes, I can’t deal with the seeds. Weirdly I enjoy barbecue sauce on a burger knowing all to well that ketchup is the main ingredient.
optimisticturtle@lemmy.world 56 minutes ago
Yeah regular ketchup is too sweet and ditto on not being fond of raw tomatoes either but the more savory kinds of ketchup or other tomato products are fine imo.
blargh513@sh.itjust.works 1 hour ago
I know a person who hates ketchup with all of her soul. Same for mayo, mustard, bbq sauce, any condiment.
However, she’ll eat a sloppy joe drowning in that sauce from the can like it’s her job.
Y’all ketchup haters is weird.
heartSagan5@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
But I want sugar, salt and vinegar too. It adds a pep to it.
MehBlah@lemmy.world 1 day ago
No Way!. No one does it like that anymore. Go back to the 90’s fossil.
samus12345@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
I hate tomatoes but like ketchup. They’re very different.
Jax@sh.itjust.works 22 hours ago
I spent so long hating tomatoes. Then I had a BLT with Bread and Salt tomatoes and… that changed.
Earthman_Jim@lemmy.zip 10 hours ago
Fuck off America
Asafum@lemmy.world 1 day ago
How I imagine the meeting went:
“ok we’re out of ideas… Let’s just go with whatever the next thing said here is.”
“… ketchup slices?”
“…God damn it… Fine. Ketchup slices. Christ forgive me…”
terranoid@lemmy.cafe 1 day ago
I think it’s more, “fuck… Bad news. Our Newark factory had an operator completely fuck up and use ten times the thickening agent for the ketchup. It came out as a big fucking block, 10 feet cubed of pure ketchup.”
“Sir, I have an idea”
diabetic_porcupine@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Sergio@piefed.social 1 day ago
Narrator: “Christ did not forgive them.”
DJKJuicy@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
This is ketchup leather. It’s not a new idea; it’s been around since fancy burger places with wood walls and exposed edison light bulbs started to be a thing in the early 2010s.
It’s just dehydrated ketchup. It makes ketchup more of a topping than a condiment and helps prevent the problem of everything squirting out of the other side of the bun when you take a bite.
nicolauz@feddit.org 1 day ago
Besides your instruction you make a fairly solid case for this product. Have you tried it?
Sounds to me it would actually work very nicely on a well made restaurant burger (in contrast to fast food burgers), which tend to have juicy meat and therefor have less need for extra lubrication.
DJKJuicy@sh.itjust.works 23 hours ago
I’ve tried it. The ketchup flavor gets concentrated. It’s actually a neat idea and not an abomination against nature like a lot of the comments here. There are plenty of recipes online if you want to make your own at home.
The abomination is how Hellman’s had to dumb it down and call it “ketchup slices”.
Miaou@jlai.lu 1 day ago
The trick is, they don’t use ketchup in restaurant burgers. Not good ones at least…
RamenJunkie@midwest.social 1 day ago
Isn’t this just a tomato with extra steps?
RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 1 day ago
That’s not a problem though.
Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club 1 day ago
Ultraprocessed mystery meat patty?
Yes!Ultraprocessed buns with exxxtra sugar?
Yummy!Ultraprocessed processed-tomatoes, but in a slice instead of sludge?
Ewww, no, there is a line!minorkeys@sh.itjust.works 22 hours ago
People who buy this shit are why companies get to kill a certain number of us every year without consequences.
Earthman_Jim@lemmy.zip 10 hours ago
It’s also why s9me of us are fine with it sometimes…
panda_abyss@lemmy.ca 1 day ago
Who comes up with these things?
rockSlayer@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 day ago
Capitalists
KnitWit@lemmy.world 1 day ago
With the unit price going way up by selling a 10 pack of slices for the cost of a bottle of ketchup, somebody probably got a promotion for this idea.
SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 1 day ago
Great people those capitalists.
xthexder@l.sw0.com 1 day ago
Probably the packaging company branching out into yet another type of individually packaged single-use plastic.
RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Do you mean the squeeze or dip packets? Those are brilliant.
Patrikvo@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
People who should be removed from polite society and left on an island far far away.
hansolo@lemmy.today 1 day ago
In American schools, this is considered a serving of vegetables.
bufalo1973@piefed.social 23 hours ago
Wasn’t ketchup bad enough?
dabu@lemmy.world 1 day ago
How about a slice of tomato instead?
favoredponcho@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
Whoa, whoa, whoa that doesn’t make a stock price go up
stephen01king@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
They kinda don’t taste the same.
MrKoyun@lemmy.world 1 day ago
They very much dont taste neither feel the same.
Holytimes@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
WHERE DA VINIGER AT?!
RamenJunkie@midwest.social 1 day ago
Tomatos are kind of gross on burgers. Like, I have thisnwarm tasty burger, lets throw a slab of cold on it to ruin it. Screw that.
texture@lemmy.world 1 day ago
thank you
Snapz@lemmy.world 10 hours ago
Does anyone know what I’m referencing when I say, “and then you just add a squirt of lattice, a squirt of napkins…” Or, “quit fake pressing buttons on the microwave!!”
Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 1 day ago
When I was a kid, I did some stupid things. And then the other kids punched me.
I stopped doing stupid things.
What I’m saying here, is that kids need to go back to punching the stupid kids. Someone should have punched whoever thought of this.
nosuchanon@lemmy.world 1 day ago
But my safe space! /s
texture@lemmy.world 1 day ago
wow people in the comments are REALLY fired up about the idea of ketchup existing in unfamiliar forms.
einlander@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Remember when they sold non conforming ketchup colors, such as green, blue, and purple?
texture@lemmy.world 21 hours ago
yeah and full grown adults had similar knee jerk reactions.
like when i offer someone a veggie dog and they say “eww no thanks! no regular ones?” i just dont understand people who act like that.
Auli@lemmy.ca 22 hours ago
It was good but people wouldn’t try it even though ketchup is died red. I tried all the colours I found.
1hitsong@lemmy.ml 18 hours ago
I was so excited to try them!
We got a purple one. It wasn’t good.
The consistency was different, as if they needed to make it more watery to work with the zany squeeze bottle shape 🤷♂️
Danarchy@lemmy.nz 1 day ago
The first ketchup you could use to roll a fatty like dogg lemme hit that Heinz 57 Blunt
wander1236@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
Honestly I’m intrigued. I don’t love the individual plastic wrapping, but it does seem like a good way to get ketchup all the way on the edges without worrying about spilling it everywhere
blackbrook@mander.xyz 1 day ago
Yes we must relieve people from the burden of having to master the difficult skill of putting condiments on a burger.
fartographer@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I’m from Texas, so they only taught us in school how to abstain with burgers.
MrSelfDestruct@piefed.zip 1 day ago
I love the dirty
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 1 day ago
How hard is putting ketchup on a burger with a squeeze bottle, and a tiny opening? I’ve never “worried” about it.
akwd169@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
Seriously… the mental gymnastics to justify consumerism are pitiful
“Im aware that its surrounded in single use plastic but im willing to sacrifice anyway”
texture@lemmy.world 1 day ago
for some people with physical disabilities it could be pretty hard
southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
I’d try it.
I doubt I’d like it for the things I tend to like ketchup with, because any thickened sauce that firm is going to have less presence on the tongue. Ketchup is a sweet, vinegary punch. You thicken that enough for a slice, and even if it’s meltable, you still don’t have the same capability of the relevant compounds to spread across the palate in the right way just isn’t there.
But it’s not some kind of crazy idea. There’s plenty of ways to get a “gel” version of a given sauce or condiment. Hell, an aspic isn’t exactly far off from this as it is, and tomato aspic is yummy as hell, if not as punchy as ketchup.
Sibbo@sopuli.xyz 1 day ago
If it prevents the ketchup from leaking on the other end when biting then I’m willing to try.
xthexder@l.sw0.com 1 day ago
If your burger isn’t leaking juices out the back when you bite into it, I think there’s room for improvement.
Sibbo@sopuli.xyz 1 day ago
I think people have different tastes on this matter 😄
RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Ok, so what you want to is like zigzags, so when you put the bun down and shift it around a bit you get good coverage, but it’ll stay neat. Then you can go literally the rest of your life without that problem. Welcome.
pewpew@feddit.it 1 day ago
Red plastic 😋
JakenVeina@midwest.social 1 day ago
I’d try it. Is it really any more “processed” than ketchup already is?
Sanctus@anarchist.nexus 1 day ago
Pat this baby next to a slice of ultra processed american cheese and reach burgerland enlightenment.
Ephera@lemmy.ml 1 day ago
I mean, ketchup doesn’t have to be horrendously processed. You can get a basic ketchup by mixing purreed tomatoes, vinegar, salt and sugar.
But sure, whatever these burger chains typically serve as ketchup, that has many more ingredients…
janus2@lemmy.zip 1 day ago
ok but also this uses less plastic than a bottle, takes up less fridge space, and can be useful to those with some types of mobility impairments
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 1 day ago
This is clearly a terrible idea, one of those where you say, “How did this get the green light?”
One night, just as he was falling asleep, a food scientist employed by the company had a light bulb idea! What if ketchup came in slices, like cheese. The perfect portion, cleanly placed on a burger. Further, you could do a whole line of condiments slices - mustard mayo, relish, BBQ sauce, the list is endless! I’ll bet he didn’t sleep a wink that night.
The next day, he calls everyone together, and springs his idea, and they all start excitedly discussing it. The supervisor realizes they are on to something, so he goes to corporate.
“I just had this great idea…” (of course he takes credit), and he explains it to The Suit, who immediately understands that he could sell a 12 pack of slices for the same price as a bottle with a hundred servings, increase profits, and please the Ferengi in the boardroom. So he approves the idea enthusiastically, and goes off to take credit to his bosses.
So it all goes into production after all the testing for spoilage and such is done, and nobody ever bothered to see if it tasted decent, or if consumers would accept it. You know there was very little consumer testing done on this because, well, look at it. It’s essentially a Tomato-flavored Fruit Roll- Up. You don’t even have to taste it to know that this isn’t going to have the proper mouthfeel or taste. Not only that, but the consumer is STILL going to need a bottle of ketchup, because he can’t dip his fries into a SLICE. Does anyone believe this product was an overwhelming success with a whole series of focus tests?
The whole reason this went into production was because they convinced themselves that this awful product had the potential to be wildly profitable, if they could force the consumer to accept it. The consumer did not accept it, and their focus groups probably told them that, but they either ignored it, or maybe just didn’t do focus groups at all. It’s a great profitable idea, why endanger it by getting the opinions of the future consumers?
I hope it cost them a lot of money.
Stalinwolf@lemmy.ca 1 day ago
Half the fun of ketchup is the PpPpPppPpPpptt!
Except when you get juice with it…
P00ptart@lemmy.world 1 day ago
God damnit, I thought for sure this had to be fake, so I had to check, to retain a micron of faith in humanity. But nay, it’s real.
JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
That looks like the same texture as the dried ketchup that gets stuck around the inside of the ketchup lid.
over_clox@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I’ll take a slice of peanut butter, a slice of mayonnaise, and a slice of banana in the middle.
HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
You can barely make out that she’s doing that idiotic YouTube thumbnail face in the last one
RisingSwell@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 day ago
Surely it’s melt back to liquid on a hot burger? I can see why this could be used, presuming it tastes fine.
deathbird@mander.xyz 1 day ago
Sometimes a thing is just figured out and that’s okay. You don’t have to keep trying to “innovate” or whatever.
smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
Technically this is fruit leather.
NatakuNox@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Technically this is a crime against condiments.
smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
More importantly, a crime against humanity.
Juan_de_Silentio@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Looks like a damn fruit roll-up.
Pat_Riot@lemmy.today 1 day ago
Tomatoes are a fruit, so…
0ops@piefed.zip 1 day ago
Or a blood clot
blackbrook@mander.xyz 1 day ago
Just slap it on a wound like Flex Tape!
s@piefed.world 1 day ago
Ketchup is a vegetable
smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
Sure thing, Ronnie, let’s get you back to
beddead.RamenJunkie@midwest.social 1 day ago
Aren’t Tomatos fruit though?
Sergio@piefed.social 1 day ago
Frisbee