Hear me out:
Slice of ketchup anyone?
Submitted 1 month ago by favoredponcho@lemmy.zip to memes@sopuli.xyz
https://lemmy.zip/pictrs/image/49c72f8e-c817-46cc-a43f-9e64f91c6e61.avif
Comments
Hupf@feddit.org 1 month ago
heartSagan5@lemmy.zip 1 month ago
But I want sugar, salt and vinegar too. It adds a pep to it.
MehBlah@lemmy.world 1 month ago
No Way!. No one does it like that anymore. Go back to the 90’s fossil.
Raiderkev@lemmy.world 1 month ago
As someone who hates both raw tomatoes and ketchup on a burger, my brain can’t comprehend why anyone would want either on their burger. Ketchup is just so gross. It tastes like if you added a cup of sugar to the worst marinara sauce and put it in a blender. Raw tomatoes, I can’t deal with the seeds. Weirdly I enjoy barbecue sauce on a burger knowing all to well that ketchup is the main ingredient.
blargh513@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
I know a person who hates ketchup with all of her soul. Same for mayo, mustard, bbq sauce, any condiment.
However, she’ll eat a sloppy joe drowning in that sauce from the can like it’s her job.
Y’all ketchup haters is weird.
optimisticturtle@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Yeah regular ketchup is too sweet and ditto on not being fond of raw tomatoes either but the more savory kinds of ketchup or other tomato products are fine imo.
samus12345@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
I hate tomatoes but like ketchup. They’re very different.
Jax@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
I spent so long hating tomatoes. Then I had a BLT with Bread and Salt tomatoes and… that changed.
Asafum@lemmy.world 1 month ago
How I imagine the meeting went:
“ok we’re out of ideas… Let’s just go with whatever the next thing said here is.”
“… ketchup slices?”
“…God damn it… Fine. Ketchup slices. Christ forgive me…”
terranoid@lemmy.cafe 1 month ago
I think it’s more, “fuck… Bad news. Our Newark factory had an operator completely fuck up and use ten times the thickening agent for the ketchup. It came out as a big fucking block, 10 feet cubed of pure ketchup.”
“Sir, I have an idea”
diabetic_porcupine@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Sergio@piefed.social 1 month ago
Narrator: “Christ did not forgive them.”
panda_abyss@lemmy.ca 1 month ago
Who comes up with these things?
rockSlayer@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 month ago
Capitalists
KnitWit@lemmy.world 1 month ago
With the unit price going way up by selling a 10 pack of slices for the cost of a bottle of ketchup, somebody probably got a promotion for this idea.
SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 1 month ago
Great people those capitalists.
xthexder@l.sw0.com 1 month ago
Probably the packaging company branching out into yet another type of individually packaged single-use plastic.
RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Do you mean the squeeze or dip packets? Those are brilliant.
Patrikvo@lemmy.zip 1 month ago
People who should be removed from polite society and left on an island far far away.
DJKJuicy@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
This is ketchup leather. It’s not a new idea; it’s been around since fancy burger places with wood walls and exposed edison light bulbs started to be a thing in the early 2010s.
It’s just dehydrated ketchup. It makes ketchup more of a topping than a condiment and helps prevent the problem of everything squirting out of the other side of the bun when you take a bite.
nicolauz@feddit.org 1 month ago
Besides your instruction you make a fairly solid case for this product. Have you tried it?
Sounds to me it would actually work very nicely on a well made restaurant burger (in contrast to fast food burgers), which tend to have juicy meat and therefor have less need for extra lubrication.
DJKJuicy@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
I’ve tried it. The ketchup flavor gets concentrated. It’s actually a neat idea and not an abomination against nature like a lot of the comments here. There are plenty of recipes online if you want to make your own at home.
The abomination is how Hellman’s had to dumb it down and call it “ketchup slices”.
Miaou@jlai.lu 1 month ago
The trick is, they don’t use ketchup in restaurant burgers. Not good ones at least…
RamenJunkie@midwest.social 1 month ago
Isn’t this just a tomato with extra steps?
RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 1 month ago
That’s not a problem though.
dabu@lemmy.world 1 month ago
How about a slice of tomato instead?
favoredponcho@lemmy.zip 1 month ago
Whoa, whoa, whoa that doesn’t make a stock price go up
stephen01king@lemmy.zip 1 month ago
They kinda don’t taste the same.
MrKoyun@lemmy.world 1 month ago
They very much dont taste neither feel the same.
Holytimes@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
WHERE DA VINIGER AT?!
RamenJunkie@midwest.social 1 month ago
Tomatos are kind of gross on burgers. Like, I have thisnwarm tasty burger, lets throw a slab of cold on it to ruin it. Screw that.
texture@lemmy.world 1 month ago
thank you
Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club 1 month ago
Ultraprocessed mystery meat patty?
Yes!Ultraprocessed buns with exxxtra sugar?
Yummy!Ultraprocessed processed-tomatoes, but in a slice instead of sludge?
Ewww, no, there is a line!Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 1 month ago
When I was a kid, I did some stupid things. And then the other kids punched me.
I stopped doing stupid things.
What I’m saying here, is that kids need to go back to punching the stupid kids. Someone should have punched whoever thought of this.
nosuchanon@lemmy.world 1 month ago
But my safe space! /s
wander1236@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
Honestly I’m intrigued. I don’t love the individual plastic wrapping, but it does seem like a good way to get ketchup all the way on the edges without worrying about spilling it everywhere
blackbrook@mander.xyz 1 month ago
Yes we must relieve people from the burden of having to master the difficult skill of putting condiments on a burger.
fartographer@lemmy.world 1 month ago
I’m from Texas, so they only taught us in school how to abstain with burgers.
MrSelfDestruct@piefed.zip 1 month ago
I love the dirty
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 1 month ago
How hard is putting ketchup on a burger with a squeeze bottle, and a tiny opening? I’ve never “worried” about it.
akwd169@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
Seriously… the mental gymnastics to justify consumerism are pitiful
“Im aware that its surrounded in single use plastic but im willing to sacrifice anyway”
texture@lemmy.world 1 month ago
for some people with physical disabilities it could be pretty hard
hansolo@lemmy.today 1 month ago
In American schools, this is considered a serving of vegetables.
minorkeys@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
People who buy this shit are why companies get to kill a certain number of us every year without consequences.
Earthman_Jim@lemmy.zip 1 month ago
It’s also why s9me of us are fine with it sometimes…
Danarchy@lemmy.nz 1 month ago
The first ketchup you could use to roll a fatty like dogg lemme hit that Heinz 57 Blunt
southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
I’d try it.
I doubt I’d like it for the things I tend to like ketchup with, because any thickened sauce that firm is going to have less presence on the tongue. Ketchup is a sweet, vinegary punch. You thicken that enough for a slice, and even if it’s meltable, you still don’t have the same capability of the relevant compounds to spread across the palate in the right way just isn’t there.
But it’s not some kind of crazy idea. There’s plenty of ways to get a “gel” version of a given sauce or condiment. Hell, an aspic isn’t exactly far off from this as it is, and tomato aspic is yummy as hell, if not as punchy as ketchup.
Sibbo@sopuli.xyz 1 month ago
If it prevents the ketchup from leaking on the other end when biting then I’m willing to try.
xthexder@l.sw0.com 1 month ago
If your burger isn’t leaking juices out the back when you bite into it, I think there’s room for improvement.
Sibbo@sopuli.xyz 1 month ago
I think people have different tastes on this matter 😄
RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Ok, so what you want to is like zigzags, so when you put the bun down and shift it around a bit you get good coverage, but it’ll stay neat. Then you can go literally the rest of your life without that problem. Welcome.
bufalo1973@piefed.social 1 month ago
Wasn’t ketchup bad enough?
Earthman_Jim@lemmy.zip 1 month ago
Fuck off America
texture@lemmy.world 1 month ago
wow people in the comments are REALLY fired up about the idea of ketchup existing in unfamiliar forms.
einlander@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Remember when they sold non conforming ketchup colors, such as green, blue, and purple?
texture@lemmy.world 1 month ago
yeah and full grown adults had similar knee jerk reactions.
like when i offer someone a veggie dog and they say “eww no thanks! no regular ones?” i just dont understand people who act like that.
Auli@lemmy.ca 1 month ago
It was good but people wouldn’t try it even though ketchup is died red. I tried all the colours I found.
1hitsong@lemmy.ml 1 month ago
I was so excited to try them!
We got a purple one. It wasn’t good.
The consistency was different, as if they needed to make it more watery to work with the zany squeeze bottle shape 🤷♂️
pewpew@feddit.it 1 month ago
Red plastic 😋
JakenVeina@midwest.social 1 month ago
I’d try it. Is it really any more “processed” than ketchup already is?
Sanctus@anarchist.nexus 1 month ago
Pat this baby next to a slice of ultra processed american cheese and reach burgerland enlightenment.
shweddy@lemmy.world 1 month ago
This is just the ketchup that dries on the lid
JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 month ago
That looks like the same texture as the dried ketchup that gets stuck around the inside of the ketchup lid.
over_clox@lemmy.world 1 month ago
I’ll take a slice of peanut butter, a slice of mayonnaise, and a slice of banana in the middle.
janus2@lemmy.zip 1 month ago
ok but also this uses less plastic than a bottle, takes up less fridge space, and can be useful to those with some types of mobility impairments
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 1 month ago
This is clearly a terrible idea, one of those where you say, “How did this get the green light?”
One night, just as he was falling asleep, a food scientist employed by the company had a light bulb idea! What if ketchup came in slices, like cheese. The perfect portion, cleanly placed on a burger. Further, you could do a whole line of condiments slices - mustard mayo, relish, BBQ sauce, the list is endless! I’ll bet he didn’t sleep a wink that night.
The next day, he calls everyone together, and springs his idea, and they all start excitedly discussing it. The supervisor realizes they are on to something, so he goes to corporate.
“I just had this great idea…” (of course he takes credit), and he explains it to The Suit, who immediately understands that he could sell a 12 pack of slices for the same price as a bottle with a hundred servings, increase profits, and please the Ferengi in the boardroom. So he approves the idea enthusiastically, and goes off to take credit to his bosses.
So it all goes into production after all the testing for spoilage and such is done, and nobody ever bothered to see if it tasted decent, or if consumers would accept it. You know there was very little consumer testing done on this because, well, look at it. It’s essentially a Tomato-flavored Fruit Roll- Up. You don’t even have to taste it to know that this isn’t going to have the proper mouthfeel or taste. Not only that, but the consumer is STILL going to need a bottle of ketchup, because he can’t dip his fries into a SLICE. Does anyone believe this product was an overwhelming success with a whole series of focus tests?
The whole reason this went into production was because they convinced themselves that this awful product had the potential to be wildly profitable, if they could force the consumer to accept it. The consumer did not accept it, and their focus groups probably told them that, but they either ignored it, or maybe just didn’t do focus groups at all. It’s a great profitable idea, why endanger it by getting the opinions of the future consumers?
I hope it cost them a lot of money.
Stalinwolf@lemmy.ca 1 month ago
Half the fun of ketchup is the PpPpPppPpPpptt!
Except when you get juice with it…
P00ptart@lemmy.world 1 month ago
God damnit, I thought for sure this had to be fake, so I had to check, to retain a micron of faith in humanity. But nay, it’s real.
HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 month ago
You can barely make out that she’s doing that idiotic YouTube thumbnail face in the last one
RisingSwell@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 month ago
Surely it’s melt back to liquid on a hot burger? I can see why this could be used, presuming it tastes fine.
deathbird@mander.xyz 1 month ago
Sometimes a thing is just figured out and that’s okay. You don’t have to keep trying to “innovate” or whatever.
Snapz@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Does anyone know what I’m referencing when I say, “and then you just add a squirt of lattice, a squirt of napkins…” Or, “quit fake pressing buttons on the microwave!!”
smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
Technically this is fruit leather.
NatakuNox@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Technically this is a crime against condiments.
smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
More importantly, a crime against humanity.
Juan_de_Silentio@lemmy.world 1 month ago
Looks like a damn fruit roll-up.
Pat_Riot@lemmy.today 1 month ago
Tomatoes are a fruit, so…
0ops@piefed.zip 1 month ago
Or a blood clot
blackbrook@mander.xyz 1 month ago
Just slap it on a wound like Flex Tape!
s@piefed.world 1 month ago
Ketchup is a vegetable
smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
Sure thing, Ronnie, let’s get you back to
beddead.RamenJunkie@midwest.social 1 month ago
Aren’t Tomatos fruit though?
spazzman6156@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
A tomato fruit roll-up
smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works 1 month ago
By the foot? Nope. Yard? No. It’s a to-meter!
Sergio@piefed.social 1 month ago
Frisbee