fartographer
@fartographer@lemmy.world
- Comment on No like really bro I’m just here for the silly shoes 8 hours ago:
They’ll allow literally anything! One time, they even let someone perform Living on a Prayer, if you can believe that! And Hooked on a Feeling. And Born in the U.S.A. Now that I think about it, maybe New Jersey isn’t the barrier you were referencing.
- Comment on No like really bro I’m just here for the silly shoes 10 hours ago:
When taken to karaoke, I’ll sing only one song, and it’ll be an aggressive metal song sung and screamed with my full energy and passion that I used to give at live performances. And then I’ll quietly sit for the rest of the night, enjoying the knowledge that no one else will try to pressure me into singing another song.
- Comment on Cooties can kill! 12 hours ago:
CCDD vaccines are only locally effective. Make sure that a medical professional delivers the circle circle square square treatment so that the vaccine can be distributed everywhere.
- Comment on See you on the Dark Side of the Moon 13 hours ago:
Where we whiz and whiz and whiz and shit on top of it all!
- Comment on The war begins 1 day ago:
How do you think Zyrtec works?
- Comment on Big Sun behind it all 1 day ago:
True culprit behind poop all over the floor is potty-training a toddler.
The parents handed their toddler leverage by deluding themselves into believing they could wean their child from diapers
^By SOMEONE WITHOUT OBJECT PERMANENCE OR PATTERN RECOGNITION^
- Comment on Wacky 1 day ago:
Such a good title that you jacked it
- Comment on Why is gaming becoming so expensive? The answer is found in AI 1 day ago:
I asked AI and my RAM charged my credit card
- Comment on The Sounds of Silence 1 day ago:
That’s literally the plot of The Shining. It’s in Stanley Kubrick’s hidden messages from the fake moon that he invented or something.
- Comment on Wrong answers only - what is this? 5 days ago:
Answering machine
- Comment on kinky 6 days ago:
You could get that curved line by frowning while wearing the gag.
- Comment on Dumb stance 6 days ago:
I chuckled. If I heard that in a club, I’d probably chuckle and then feel bad for both of us.
- Comment on Quiver, ladies, quiver 1 week ago:
Absolutely! The loudest voice tells me the other ones aren’t real
- Comment on what really happened to the Titanic 1 week ago:
You greatly underestimate my strength. *smashes fingertips between Demon Core halves*
- Comment on At least you only hit it once... 1 week ago:
- Comment on It hurts. 1 week ago:
Is this the most efficient way to store 17 houses?
- Comment on what really happened to the Titanic 1 week ago:
What if you close it really hard like a diesel piston? Surely that’s deserving of a bang!
- Comment on Turbine go brrrr 1 week ago:
- Comment on The beans are back and they have something to say. Idk what though because I don't speak Bean. 1 week ago:
Whatever they’re saying, I’m blasting it from my rectal loudspeaker.
- Comment on A job's a job 1 week ago:
Not if you sell it back to them
- Comment on Can someone explain the Birds and the Bees to me? I get its related to sex somehow but was never told the story or where it got started or how come a plant and insect? 1 week ago:
This pollen keeps giving me bee stings on my area that God hates
- Comment on po-tay-toes 1 week ago:
That’s why I recommend using a pressure cooker instead of boiling them in vodka. Don’t let anything evaporate. Boiling potatoes in water to mash them makes watery potatoes. Pressure cooking them in vodka makes the potatoes more potato.
^Note: Please don’t actually pressure cook things with vodka. You’re just begging for the world’s scariest Molotov cocktail on your kitchen counter.^
- Comment on It works better if you put it in your mouth first. 1 week ago:
*Licks powerbox*
- Comment on Going to the club tonight so I'll be a whore there too 1 week ago:
Why do you need mental problems to be a whore? Can’t you just do it because you’re cool like that?
- Comment on po-tay-toes 1 week ago:
Right? Just pressure-cook the potatoes in vodka before letting them completely cool and then mash them. Then it’s not alcoholism, it’s side-dishes.
- Comment on Me watching someone on Lemmy getting cooked for having the same opinion as me: 1 week ago:
Alan Turing was a gay genius
- Comment on Horn posting 1 week ago:
No, th 's actually mine.
- Comment on I choose hating your job in unconventional ways. 1 week ago:
Rao’s might be among the pricier sauces in the US?
It is. It’s a high-quality sauce made by a very famous restaurant in New York City. It’s one of those few products that immediately stands out when someone tries a blind taste test on you.
- Comment on Deep Lore 1 week ago:
Hot Fuzz is full of silly barstools
- Comment on Don't be a coward 2 weeks ago:
I mean, you should probably tell them that it’s unsafe to point a gun at people.
