fartographer
@fartographer@lemmy.world
- Comment on 25 minutes ago:
Turbo poopie-pants
- Comment on Knife horse 3 hours ago:
Good point.
- Comment on currently busy 😅 1 day ago:
THANK GOD, I NEED A WITNESS!
- Comment on Two full raccoons y'all 1 day ago:
Oh no, none for me, thanks
- Comment on Its a steal at that price 1 day ago:
A lil’ hotdog for your eyeball
- Comment on *Eyeroll* 2 days ago:
Yeah, but Hoover named someone else’s dam project after himself. He should be way higher on Trump’s list.
- Comment on Now we're cooking with gas! 3 days ago:
The orange is called “flavor spots”
- Comment on Food served to US service men & women. 3 days ago:
When the prison band ate, they began to wail
- Comment on Food served to US service men & women. 3 days ago:
The fork and knife in that last picture are so insulting
- Comment on Well OK then 3 days ago:
That’s generally how it starts
- Comment on Oh no 5 days ago:
Surely he studied a lot of defensive strategies during which numerous strangers were thrusting at Mike Hundt.
- Comment on What Are These Things Called Again? 6 days ago:
Well, I am now
- Comment on One of the lowercase m is actually an r + n, and the other isn't. 1 week ago:
Begging your pardon, but perhaps the Italians can address your concerns.
- Comment on This camouflaged speed bump 1 week ago:
Ah, I see you’ve encountered one of the ancient monoliths. Once a yellow pillar of the community, these behemoths delighted neighborhood children who would spend hours playing with them. Many skateboards and scooters were propelled upwards by these olden obstacles, but bicycles were the most well-regarded. And these highlighter highlights could make any child on a bicycle feel like a king. Those who could wheelie achieved jumps, those who could balance achieved wheelies, and those who could do neither taught everyone the importance of a helmet. “But I can’t do it!” the smaller ones would yell, and others would shout, “faster! You gotta go FASTER!” Some would become airborne, but all would finish laying down, usually having shared considerable patches of skin with the pavement.
Yes, once a mighty watering hole for the daring, this archaic entertainment has laid down and breathed its last. Its once bright yellow skin has fallen off over the years, revealing a rotting blemish on the road. Where there was once cheers and laughter surrounding this proud protrusion, now lies a pile of bones and the modern chants of “god damnit! Where did that come from?!”
- Comment on Funny how that works 1 week ago:
My deepest condolences
- Comment on This homeless character, who doesn't go to the gym and survives on junk food, somehow weights 300lbs of pure muscle 1 week ago:
He killed me with a sword. How weird is that?
- Comment on Simply Bananas 1 week ago:
Of course it does. It’s made by that guy who faked the moon landing and then beat up Olive Oyl
- Comment on dumb it way down 2 weeks ago:
God, I hope this isn’t offensive, but my first thought was, “Quantum queerness is a state of flux that is influenced by the observer.”
- Comment on Karoline Leavitt. She says she wear a cross because she is a good christian. 2 weeks ago:
A real Elizabeth Barrett Browbeating
- Comment on Karoline Leavitt. She says she wear a cross because she is a good christian. 2 weeks ago:
May she always sneeze just before she reaches the toilet. And may the droplets of pee upset her enough that she stress-farts tiny wet poops that cause her to suddenly clench and lose her balance and stumble just enough to accidentally pee just a little bit more just before she reaches for the lid. May her stiffened posture cause her to strain as she bends to lift the lid, and that she re-stubs her toe on the front of the toilet; just heard enough to make her feel defeated and lose her restraint on the steam that begins before she’s properly sat down so that she sits on her own pee that also drips into her underwear. Finally, may her efforts to clean up wake her up too much so that she only manages to fall back asleep 10 minutes before her alarm goes off.
- Comment on Shit is going down in Paris! Quick, alert the... 2 weeks ago:
Also, wherever they live has a table, chair, and a wall that has things on it. I can probably find that on Google Maps.
- Comment on On fire 2 weeks ago:
“My insurance policy better cover Biden burning down my house”
- Comment on Those damned leftists!!!1!! 3 weeks ago:
To want me
- Comment on misery business 3 weeks ago:
The mIghTy boosh crowd
- Comment on Watcha gonna do? 3 weeks ago:
There really is a Mamdani for every moment
- Comment on No amount of groveling will be enough for the nepo baby wing of the Democratic Party. They should just become Republicans. 3 weeks ago:
As a Jew with family in Israel, fuck Zionists
- Comment on President Trump reacts to President Biden’s cancer diagnosis: "I don't feel sorry for him" 3 weeks ago:
What he did to his political opponent???
MOTHERFUCKER, THAT’S YOU!
He won an election that you and your friends tried to rig and lied about, so you attempted a coup and lied about, then lied about the election, and then lied about lying.
If you didn’t have your finger on the button, everyone would want you to talk shit about them because that would mean they did something right or cool at least once.
- Comment on President Trump reacts to President Biden’s cancer diagnosis: "I don't feel sorry for him" 3 weeks ago:
“If Biden deserves so much respect, then why am I still an asshole?”
- Assholes - Comment on Sorcery battle 3 weeks ago:
And? No.
Or? Yes.
Nuke: might take me a while, but I could call some people. I’d probably fail.
Huge penis: gimme about 10 minutes to drive to the nearby adult store, and definitely. I wouldn’t even have to pay for it, just throw it across the store and never go back.
Confidence: if you mean launch as in to displace rapidly, I do that approximately 3 seconds after every time I feel confident.
- Comment on Sorcery battle 3 weeks ago:
Oh, yes. Well then, sorry to crash your meeting.