fartographer
@fartographer@lemmy.world
- Comment on It's just a fancy new name for a lobotomy 6 days ago:
That doctor is one achoo away from an eyepatch
- Comment on snail lyfe 6 days ago:
Don’t fucking compare yourself to snails unless you can stab your lovers with spears from your own body.
At best, you’re a clown fish or a frog.
- Comment on From the outside looking in 6 days ago:
I’ll show me!!!
- Comment on I ain't risking shit 1 week ago:
So many uncles died that night…
- Comment on I need someone to help me identify this shark plz. Spotted in the wild. Maybe a new species. 1 week ago:
The eyes appear to be coming from their nostrils. I waiver what evolutionary pressures squeezed their eyes out their nose.
- Comment on eco-vengeance iconoclast 1 week ago:
We have them in Texas. They’ll eat your pets and maim you. They’re also significantly smarter than many people realize. If they weren’t such indiscriminate terrors, they’d probably make for pretty fun pets or be fun to watch play together while out on walks.
- Comment on fuck gary 1 week ago:
F-heart-ck… Fheartck… Fartck… Fart attack? Oh, poor Gary died from a fart attack…
- Comment on tiny tot engineering 1 week ago:
I remember one kid saying he was going to attach razor blades or sharpen the fins on his Beyblade. I also remember seeing him crying the nurse’s office the next day with his hand bandaged.
- Comment on …and I’m a bad boy for breaking a fart 2 weeks ago:
Took me a moment. Got it. Nodded in recognition.
- Comment on Republican? Democrat? There is a third option: 2 weeks ago:
It’s just another party run by old white men
- Comment on Organization. 2 weeks ago:
Fix the VQ and then finish arranging everything alphanumeric, starting with punctuation alphabetized and the numbers starting with zero.
- Comment on Who's branded? Sound off 3 weeks ago:
I remember my sister and me tossing the middle buckle back and forth and then swinging it at each other until one of us got hit by a plastic-accented mace and then we both would cry. We never learned to stop doing that.
- Comment on Has this ever happened to you? 4 weeks ago:
apeach
- Comment on Microsoft doing shady Microsoft stuff again 5 weeks ago:
I use edge when I’ve been a naughty boy and need to be punished. And then I open Microsoft office and click the “try for free” link
- Comment on Microsoft doing shady Microsoft stuff again 5 weeks ago:
Y’all have set up this false dichotomy in which you’ve ignored the real majority of chrome installs on windows: children, grandchildren, and neighbors who just want to move on with their life. So they install “the one that looks like a beach ball” and they install a bunch of risky extensions that’ll make reading and printing the internet easier.
Source: I used to work in computer repair and technological literacy. But, mostly my own ass.
- Comment on Oh nooo! 1 month ago:
You can also tell it’s not Godzilla, who is indicated by not-a-red-circle in the background.
- Comment on 🤡🤡🤡 1 month ago:
Moon float? No… Moon rocks…
- Comment on The Epstein Scandal Finally Takes Down a Politician 1 month ago:
Learn from our example here in the States: don’t stop at recalling a politician for such heinous behavior. Make sure their victims see justice and are made as whole as a legal, capitalistic system can afford.
If not, they’ll be more powerful the next time you see them.
- Comment on 1 month ago:
I read that was true
- Comment on When real life generates the shitpost 1 month ago:
Or… you know… don’t do that either…
- Comment on Don't be so sensitive 🙄 1 month ago:
Drop all tables and eat a muffin or something… Eat shit, bot!
- Comment on How popular/important do you have to be for your death by homicide to be labeled as an "assassination"? What if the homicide is for a private matter that's separate from their importance? 1 month ago:
-unplugs Deep Blue-
- Comment on McDonald's criticizes US restaurant industry for uneven wage policies 1 month ago:
As an ex service employee who had tips split and didn’t know about tip credit yet, I know that the options are to either get paid as a person, or treated as a person. The number of people who told me that they didn’t “do tips” but were willing to give me a high five as a substitute was as understandable as it was upsetting.
- Comment on McDonald's criticizes US restaurant industry for uneven wage policies 1 month ago:
Just an fyi, $2.13 isn’t all people get paid in food service industries. It’s part of something called “tip credit.” The national or state minimum wage remains the absolute minimum. What this means is that your tips supplement the restaurant’s duties to pay you minimum wage.
If you make at least minimum wage at the end of your pay period, factoring in tips, then the restaurant doesn’t have to pay you more. If you make less with your tips, the restaurant is financially responsible to make you whole.
This is one of the reasons that tip-pooling should be illegal as well.
- Comment on ... 1 month ago:
Have y’all seen my urine sample? Could have sworn I left it over here…
- Comment on [deleted] 1 month ago:
Ah, flatulent flattery
- Comment on [deleted] 1 month ago:
Who on my right would next like to blow smoke up my ass. Y’all look smart enough to know how to properly stroke my ego and you know what I’ll do if you don’t.
But then it turned out they didn’t need to be coerced at all. Turns out that when billionaires see big enough of an asshole, they’ll all line up to sniff it.
- Comment on That'd be helpful 1 month ago:
I miss having friends/family to cuddle with. My wife is fine, more than. But why can’t buddies just cuddle? Also, my oldest friend and I will platonically kiss. Our wives find it adorable, but I’ve been kissing this guy since preschool; why does it have to be seen as special?
- Comment on Da bomb 1 month ago:
We should have elected that pretzel
- Comment on Llama 1 month ago:
Those aren’t true mayonnaise because they got that way via convergent evolution. True mayonnaise come from the mayonnaise region of France, otherwise it’s just bubbling emulsion.