smuuthbrane

@smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I used to think I didn't have a single paternal bone in my body⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩:

  I’m glad you enjoyed yourself, but we still don’t know why you buy off and ate his pinky finger.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨me n the homes not crossing streams cuz were not gay⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago⁩:

  They’re chugging water because it’s a 3 way ladder elimination event. If you make it through you’d best have enough piss for the next round.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Well that sucks⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  PP TIN-Y?

  Y-ES ❤️

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Choina⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  I’d never insult a Muppet®️, but a Muppet can go fuck themselves.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Choina⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  He’s halfway to being a Muppet.

  Well, externally. Mentally he’s fully Muppet.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Twodaloo⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Cooperative pooping? Miss me with that, give me two face-to-face for competitive pooping.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨They're perfect⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  I would give them a few more months, then they’ll be ready to grind.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Is it hot in here or what? 🥵⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Finally an OnlyFans that I can watch with my mom around.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Do people eat this?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  No, it eats them, from the inside. You can tell by the dead stare and bread crumbs in their teeth.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I'm not so sure those are "foot" steps⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Dammit, your mom got out and she’s pogoing again.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Rich people invented a $10k metal card that says FVCK OFF😂⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Remember the “I Am Rich” app for $999? Same energy.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I have several questions⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  That’s what a ladykiller would say.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Absolutely all of it⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  I legit thought that was a figurine for the longest time.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I feel like pugs are low-hanging fruit⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  FINE, “low hanging culinary vegetables”.

  Actually, that does sound more accurate.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I stopped to pick up a tooth from the middle of the road.⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Better take it to the dentist, it’s got a cavity.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Squarrel⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  You can’t have squarrel without getting into quarrels.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨What's it like living in 2?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Looks expensive to live in, it’s all costal.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Still have a couple unsmacked gobs, though⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  This combobulates me.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Chomp!⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  This is why you buy dentures at the thrift store.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I think this belongs here⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Puts the “explosive” in “explosive diarrhea”! 💥💩

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I think this belongs here⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  It’s regular laxative but with industrial strength pop rocks in it.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨shut the hell up⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  “Alexa, shut the fuck up, you have no right to speak in my holy tongue.”

  While I’d like to think the response to that would be interesting, it probably isn’t. Anyone want to try?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Please hold⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  You know the person that microwaves fish for lunch? This is the opposite.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨doraemon statue⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Stop posting badly 'shopped images.

  If that hand is actually holding that cat I’ll eat the Lego.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Yummy yummy, in my tummy⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Doesn’t mean they can’t be happy.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Yummy yummy, in my tummy⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Have you ever seen an unhappy tractor? Because it didn’t get enough of this.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Tips⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Or even just within them.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  A crow looking at you intently, judging you.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Me too, ziploc bag. Me too.⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  When anyone says “it gives you character” this is what they mean.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Gojira needs more body positivity⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Elastigirl gets irradiated.