smuuthbrane

@smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I just want to make your teeth clench.⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Nice queef collection.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨You just made an enemy for life.⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  I would throw a fry at the window.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨MEGASOTA⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Whoa whoa whoa let’s not get ahead of things. We’ll start you off as Centisota and see if moving you up to Decisota makes sense.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The moment you join the workforce⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  You’ll appreciate it when you’re 40 and your back is a wreck.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The 1996 experience⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Just sowing the seeds for Zootopia.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Life Hack⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  The see me rollin’, agitating, tryna catch me washin’ dirty…

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Could rambo overthrow all of north korea on his own⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  If he can use the unlimited ammo cheat code, sure.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Life Hack⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Wash it on delicate, don’t want to break any noodles. And add olive oil in the fabric softener dispenser.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Whatever those lyrics are⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  WEEEE-VILLLL WEEE-VILLL CROCK YOU

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Paper Towels - Cube Or Sphere?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  If there were beings that existed in 4 linear dimensions they could make a roll of paper towel cubes, just tear a cube off the roll.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Homocycle and Heterocycle⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  This is acceptable.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Homocycle and Heterocycle⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  What, no polycycule?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨He's an arborist⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I can’t use method B, the tree fruit are in the way.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Thats the good stuff⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  My fingers get all wet and sticky and the smell just won’t come off. GOD I love oranges.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The Prime Minister of Canada having his usual $45,000 morning breakfast⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  -200 now, we can graph this decline.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨wth⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  The x axis isn’t long enough. I’m certain that there’s a new plateau once the “lecherous old man” phase kicks in.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The Prime Minister of Canada having his usual $45,000 morning breakfast⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  -150, but I’m late to the game.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The Prime Minister of Canada having his usual $45,000 morning breakfast⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  That’s what sold it to me as slop.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨WACK⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Joke’s on you, I’m into that shit.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Finally—my XL pack of fragile crushable poison arrived.⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Check your WHMIS knowledge, none of it is poisonous. Dig in!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Slice of ketchup anyone?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  By the foot? Nope. Yard? No. It’s a to-meter!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Gotta work those monkey stats up⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  No way, every human eats like 3 monkeys while they’re asleep at night. The monkeys are chasing the spiders that we eat.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨heater⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  It’s ready to eat.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Slice of ketchup anyone?⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  More importantly, a crime against humanity.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Slice of ketchup anyone?⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Sure thing, Ronnie, let’s get you back to bed dead.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Slice of ketchup anyone?⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Technically this is fruit leather.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Just don't⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  C’mon, everyone has heard of a baby bump. Super common.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨that's some fucking aerodynamics bro⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  The bathroom window is behind the boat, they’re just making sure the crapper is well ventilated.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I mean, me CUTLASS. Yes, that be it. Arr.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Pidgeon Au Pair⁩ ⁨⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Then go crap on a statue and be your best pidgeon.