smuuthbrane
@smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works
- Comment on What a great idea 1 day ago:
Well, that place sure ain’t fucking Costco, that’s for damned sure.
- Comment on Tender chicken 1 day ago:
I make a whiny, self-centered, vindictive son of a bitch lasagna, but it tastes good, just don’t bring up job searching or bicycle lanes and dinner won’t be weird.
- Comment on dating 1 day ago:
PSA: “tyyy” - thanks, ya yella yutz.
Such language. Tsk.
- Comment on sumn 1 day ago:
Damn, 8 CMEs at the same time, better unplug the TV
- Comment on tryna get hella faded 2 days ago:
I thought you needed bleach to get faded.
- Comment on Good night sweet prince 2 days ago:
It’s only getting good now. Time to put it in the will for the favourite child.
- Comment on Such a dreamy guy 2 days ago:
Jexas is a damn fine dude.
- Comment on Guys there's a message in my Apple Jacks! 3 days ago:
Your carrot is sad.
- Comment on Butter 3 days ago:
Damn, that’s some happy cereal. Maybe if I eat it I can consume the happiness for myself.
- Comment on How do you know he's... 4 days ago:
Elmo should do CrossFit.
- Comment on Tonight... you 5 days ago:
“Look me in the eye if you have your plug in too.”
- Comment on Who dosent use turn signals under the sea? 5 days ago:
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO DOESN’T USE TURN SIGNALS UNDER THE SEA?
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!!
- Comment on Pros and cons 1 week ago:
Is this one if the rules of the pirate code?
- Comment on rules of the pirate code 1 week ago:
No no no.
“ARRRR, WE BE TAKIN’ YER CARGO, AND PERHAPS YOUR LIVES AS WELL, PLEASE AND THANK YOU!!”
- Comment on This is definitely not where I parked my car 1 week ago:
“Dude, click the fob again.” “I TRIED that, it didn’t work!” “But we might be closer now, try it again!” “OK FINE… SEE? NOTHING?” “Is that the right fob?” “…” “What? It isn’t, is it?” “I low-key hate you right now.”
- Comment on Ball'd-faced hornets 1 week ago:
“I came inside a hornet ball…” 🎶🎵
- Comment on Caw caw 1 week ago:
Why do those look so damned aquatic?? Like, I joke about my wife being cold blooded, but for this person I’d believe it.
- Comment on Are you there, God? 1 week ago:
God’s inflator is just too small, but he’s trying, OK??
- Comment on rules of the pirate code 1 week ago:
AVAST, YE SCURVY DOGS, WHO’S READY FOR A CUDDLE??
- Comment on 1 week ago:
But you can see it unaided, that’s something, right?
- Comment on Our lord and savior 1 week ago:
These British tattoo artists are out of control.
- Comment on Garlic sauce 1 week ago:
My mom doesn’t like box so we never had it growing up, I have no idea how to prepare or serve it correctly. ☹️
- Comment on hotel hell 1 week ago:
He’s not even planking correctly. SMDH
- Comment on Garlic sauce 1 week ago:
Having to scrape (or luck) the last 5 mL out of a paperboard box.
Admittedly, it’s a first world problem.
- Comment on Noses run, feet smell 1 week ago:
You’re not wrong at all. My favourite Japanese word is “gu-rey-pu-fu-root-su” for grapefruit. Like, bro, copy off me but don’t make it look like you’re copying. 😂
- Comment on rules of the pirate code 1 week ago:
Arrr, I be smuuthbrane the pirate. Now ye know me, I be no longer a stranger, we can all be friends! Ya-harrrr!!
- Comment on Garlic sauce 1 week ago:
It’s not ideal because it’s not in me yet.
- Comment on Garlic sauce 1 week ago:
Ideal? No. But still… garlic sauce.
- Comment on Y’all ain’t ready for this 1 week ago:
So it should read “I excuse myself to the washroom on dates just to check my IG feed”.
- Comment on Y’all ain’t ready for this 1 week ago:
They both exist, and are used when you need to get away from a date, check your phone, or otherwise get some alone time sitting down.