You know... they have a point

Comments

• theywilleatthestars@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  How do you know they don’t?

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  • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    The tooth fairy is the sketchiest of the childhood figures. I mean Santa is kind of sketchy with his big brother surveilance of little children.

    Jesus is just a magical wizard who becomes a zombie.

    The devil never seems to have much of a motivation beyond “do evil shit, and make one sided deals”.

    But the tooth fairy??? What the fuck is she doing??? Running around the world paying money for childrens teeth. What the hell is that all about??? Is it a sex thing?? Is this some sort of cult ritual? Are childrens teeth currency in her world???

    Thats the problem with these characters. Their motivation is never clearly defined. I remember my mom telling me about santa when I was 5, and I asked why this stranger was ok to come into our home late at night. But I can’t accept 1 piece of candy on the street, even though every halloween we get a full bucket of candy.

    Life did not make sense to me as a kid. Doesn’t make sense as an adult. I live in 2025 where government officials are publically doing nazi salutes, and The Onion reports plausible news.

    I don’t get life.

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    • TowardsTheFuture@lemmy.zip ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      You should read (or watch) the Hogfather by Terry Pratchett. May help explain.

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    • theywilleatthestars@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      I always thought the teeth were building materials. Don’t know if I made that up or heard it from somewhere though

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    • vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      It’s in the name, fairy aka one of the fair folk. Of course the damned thing functions like a drunk SCP entity. The point of the fair folk isn’t to make sense it’s to induce headaches into men and make the gods question their very nature.

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    • lath@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Symbolism is weird and only makes sense to those who adopt it.

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• Nangijala@feddit.dk ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Because tooth fairies only want milk teeth that have fallen out naturally and is given willingly. If it started graverobbing dead people or knocking out adult’s teeth when they are sleeping, they would lose their ability to fly and they would become a dark shadow creature, alone and hiding from the light of day. And tooth fairies love the sun and they love the smile on children’s faces when they lift their pillows in the morning to see what the tooth fairy left them. That is what makes them fly and what makes their stomachs tickle with happiness.

  And that is why tooth fairies don’t rob graves.

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  • TheEEEdiot@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    This person parents.

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• Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  The dead are fully within the domain of the bone fairies, a more ferocious subspecies of the tooth fairy.

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  • BearGun@ttrpg.network ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    That is an outrageous creature. +10 stealth so you’re not spotting it, which means it’s gonna have advantage on at least one attack so it’s likely to hit you, which means it crits you, which means you need to succeed on a DC 15 str save or you lose a limb. Str is often a dump stat for any character that doesn’t use it to attack, so that’s like 75% fail rate for most characters.

    Not to mention that if you do lose a limb to it, you need some damn high level magic to get it back.

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    • Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Just donate a bone, then seduce.

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• gwheel@lemm.ee ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Maybe the tooth fairy is like a vampire needing an invitation: the tooth must be willingly offered.

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• angrystego@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Because the tooth fairy only comes for kids’ teeth, not interested in the adult stuff. Also, what makes everyone so sure the digging doesn’t happen?

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  • qaatloz@feddit.nl ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    So its digging up dead children?🤔

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    • Iheartcheese@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Pretty clearly what he said

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    • angrystego@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

      Seems logical, right? Unless it’s only interested in teeth that fell out naturally.

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• einlander@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  But they want fresh baby teeth. What good are dead peoples teeth?

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• Sparrow_Joint@lemm.ee ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Because the tooth fairy takes the teeth to protect the children from a kind of contagious magic where an evil Magic user curses the teeth, then the child is cursed; but once people are dead, they’re gone and what’s left? It’s just a bag of bones; there’s nothing local on this plane of existence to curse.

  Curses do not cross the black sand. That is all.

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• jordanlund@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Wants fresh teeth.

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• LodeMike@lemmy.today ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  “The 8 yr old”?

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  • aeronmelon@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    The one and only.

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  • Jankatarch@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    The chosen 8. Year old.

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• smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  Tooth fairies actually run the largest group of crematoriums globally, although it’s impossible to link them legally. Why? Because the teeth don’t actually burn, that’s just a myth they perpetrate. They just sift all the teeth from the ashes and get their tooth fix that way.

  Prove me wrong.

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• uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  They want baby teeth which are turned into happiness charms for grandparents.

  When I had four adult teeth yanked for orthodontics, I felt horrified and sad and they gave me silver dollars (post 1976) for them.

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• funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  …and to make it less weird

  we say they’re stolen by a demon

  that your parents knoooooww

  WRIGLEYS!

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  • Deconceptualist@lemm.ee ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

    Brushing your teeth is the only time you clean your skeleton.

    (not technically true but fun anyway)

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• Bakkoda@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  I just want to state that there’s more S+ tier, top shit comments in this here nifty little discussion than I’ve seen all year so far. Bravo peoples.

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• Draegur@lemm.ee ⁨3⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago

  those teeth are all where they’re supposed to be. the tooth fairies gather the teeth to bury them.

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