blargh513

@blargh513@sh.itjust.works

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Read AT&T CEO's frank response to employee feedback about a 5-day RTO mandate — and much more⁩ ⁨⁨6⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago⁩:

  Bald asshole

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨hygiene⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Aeron chair with a crumb tray under.the mesh. Empty the tray once a year and hose down the chair every other.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨How abnormal is it for a mother to be her son a fleshlight for his 18th birthday?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  I’m going against the majority.

  It can be made into a weird situation, but the act itself is pragmatic and likely comes from a caring place.

  Every parent with a son knows that theyre buffing the helmet any chance they get as teenagers. They’re gonna make messes, ruin washcloths, use all the hand lotion, etc. Any parent who thinks their son ain’t beating their meat like it owes them money is delusional. Long before your kids get to masturbation age, the parent(s) should have talked about it. If you wait until they get to the age of shame, that is going to be an uncomfortable and unproductive conversation. If you have had an ongoing and open dialog about sex, masturbation, their bodies and other topics, talking about some of the details later will not be a taboo topic. Thusly if the parent offers a masturbatory device to the child, it won’t be weird unless someone wants to make it that way. If the conversations have not taken place and you still want to get your kid a sex toy, you could just order something online and leave it for them without saying anything. You could also get them a gift card to the sex store so they can get something for themself. While I presume most teenage boys dont want to share their private acts of self - gratification with their parent, there is no reason why there cannot be practical honesty about them. Get your kid a sex toy, leave it in his room, and unless he wants to talk about it, assume that he will get many hours of satisfaction from it.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨What's the easiest way to get hookups without seeing escorts?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  If you’re not able to go out and get some ass in the next 48 hours from a stranger, then you should probably not be replying with advice. For better or for worse, op is looking for a quick shag. Telling him to go to the library or church to find a gentle and kind lover who will appreciate him for his personality is not what is being asked for.

  Son wants to clap some cheeks and wants to know where he can find a population of the sort of women who wants to get they cheeks clapped without a lot of questions.

  I don’t know if it is a realistic request, but thats what he asked.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨She's a keeper⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago⁩:

  Yes! I was going to write something, but I loathe crosstreks and their owners to the point where I didn’t want to waste my own time.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨She's a keeper⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Oh lovely, the Subaru Crosstrek. The automotive equivalent of a bearded man in hiking boots who’s never seen a mountain. Yes, yes—220mm of ground clearance, symmetrical all-wheel-drive, and a CVT that responds to throttle like a golden retriever responds to algebra.

  You call it an apocalypse commuter? Please. The only thing this thing has ever survived is a steep mall parking ramp. It’s not a rugged off-roader—it’s a cosplay Jeep for people who think flannel is a personality. This car talks a big game about conquering snow and gravel, but starts hyperventilating the moment it sees a hill and a headwind at the same time.

  And let’s talk about power—actually, let’s not, because there isn’t any. Merging on the motorway in a Crosstrek isn’t just dangerous, it’s spiritual. You put your foot down, say a quick prayer to the gearbox gods, and hope that the CVT decides to simulate a gear that moves you forward rather than just turning fuel into unpleasant noise. Resale value, Swiss Army knife, duct tape metaphors—fine. But at the end of the day, it’s a hatchback with hiking stickers, delusions of grandeur, and the acceleration of a depressed tortoise.

  It’s not that the Crosstrek is bad. It’s just that it pretends so very hard to be brilliant—while delivering the dynamic excitement of a soggy oat biscuit.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨She's a keeper⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Oh bless your heart.

  You realize that.a young woman who is even mildly attractive can pretty well have her pick of men her own age. She dont want no tubby dude 20 years older, wearing clothes from Costco and driving around in a Subaru crosstrek.

  Once us guys hit our 40s we just disappear into the hedges like homer, just part of the background.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨A real lifehack⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I’m not going to read that article, but I am going to switch to an all-pizza and bourbon diet.

  If it doesn’t work, I will not be held responsible for my actions.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The struggle⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  Oatmeal is peg feed. At least thats what my Italian wife says. Won’t touch it.

  Also, I’m not young. Do typical people really have this hard of a time shitting? I don’t eat super well, but I can cut a log like a lumberjack. I sit, shit and split.

  Eat a veggie y’all.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The struggle⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  So you’re saying you have a stool stool?

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨People who have been in meetings to determine back to in office policy. What was the discussion like?⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  I never understand places that dont have some sort of work management methodology.

  In technology, we often use agile. Its complicated, but one key part is that the individuals determine what needs to be done to get an overall effort completed, creates the individual tasks in an application, schedules them for completion and makes notes about status as they go.

  Its a little micro, but it ends all questions of “is this person working”. Either theyre getting stuff done or they aren’t. We have regular sessions to check progress and reports are generated on an ongoing basis. If someone is dicking around it shows up real fast.

  I can’t imagine that places still just raw-dog all the work. What is Joe doing. No clue. When is he going to finish? Dunno. How is the project going? Beats me. Are we staffed appropriately? Good question.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨call of the void⁩ ⁨⁨4⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  There’s nothing wrong with AI, these contextual problems are not a mistake–they’re a choice.

  AI can be trained for deeper analysis and to root out issues like this. But that costs compute cycles. If you’re selling a service, you want to spend as little on compute power as possible while still being able to have a product that is viewed as good enough to pay for.

  As with all things, the root of this problem is greed.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Happy No-more-USA Day⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  The lead brained boomers are the ones who need to see it most.

  There is little value in preaching to the choir.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨We did it everyone, the future is here!⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  This isn’t a shitpost at all, its just the sad fucking truth.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Be honest whose actually working today and who is goofing off⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  I got rawdogged so hard that I’m unemployed now. Went from an utterly crushing pace and workload to nothing. I mean I like not having to work right now, but once the megar severance I got runs out,I will enjoy it a lot less.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I wish I didn't have to toss and turn so much. I want to cuddle to. :-(⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Glad its not just me. I do love the snugs but I get hot. Nobody wants sweaty snugs.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  I grew up in a nowhere place. It sucked as a kid too.

  Cooking dinner and forgot an ingredient? You’re not getting it, hope dinner doesn’t suck.

  Nobody comes to visit because there is nothing to do. Hope you like silence, you will be getting a lot of it.

  Well water was nasty. I’m sure quality can vary, but unless you want to spend lot on filtration systems, hope you like it as it is. Ours tasted like sulphur.

  When you live in the city, power outages are resolved quickly. No so in the middle of nowhere. We used to go days at time with no power. Remember, your well pump needs electricity now, so no water either. Same for your furnace.

  Winter was ass, plows didnt come for several days after a good snow. Hope you’re a good driver because if you ditch it, you’re going to be waiting a good while for a wrecker to come pull you out.

  How long is it to a good hospital? Can you survive 2x that time as an ambulance will have to come get you and then drive back. Hope you never have a medical emergency.

  No pizza delivery. No nothing delivery. You want something, get in the car and enjoy spending at least an hour getting the thing. That is if the place nearby has it (they dont).

  I will NEVER live out there again. I’m sure some people like it, but the balance falls way too hard on the “everything is slow and needlessly difficult” side.

  Sorry but your husband is wanting to live out some Harrison Ford style fantasy. Tell him to rent a place for a few months out there and let him try it. Preferably in the winter.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Great plan⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  YEAH THAT SOUNDS FUCKING HORRIBLE, TORTURE REALLY.

  I however am the rare american who is enjoying my third uninterrupted week of total freedom. This is because I was fired from my job three weeks ago. Corporate restructuring my ass.

  The time is nice and I did get some severance, but there is zero enjoyment knowing that if I don’t land a job soon, I will be hard fucked. Sorry kids, we are canceling music lessons, and any other recreations until your loser unemployed parent can get work again. Wheee!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨What's up with all the moth memes?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  I’m old and I think they’re fucking hilarious. I think what you’re missing is the “be a moron” part.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨What's up with all the moth memes?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Beans

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨A story old as time⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Good to see@SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world is here to offer sage advice.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨That's me⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  I make it a point to steal a little something every time I’m forced to use these.

  Big box hardware stores appear to have zero people to check you out anymore, so they all give me something every time I shop.

  Pro tip: they won’t bother if you dont steal anything expensive. Additionally, there are cameras in the ceiling that are working with the register to see what is in the cart and determine if you have scanned everything. Buy a cardboard box (cheapest thing that works). Lay it over your cart. Put stuff under it and now the system cant see your cart to determine if you stole something. A GFCI outlet or two never seem to go noticed.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Ads when you’re pumping gas⁩ ⁨⁨2⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago⁩:

  Press and hold two buttons in each corner. If those don’t work, try the other two. Keep iterating through pressing and holding one button on either side of the screen. Eventually, you will open a diagnostic menu. You can’t do anything here without a passcode, but it will stop the ad.

  I’ve only come across a few pumps where I could not figure out the combo before I finished pumping.