Submitted 4 hours ago by fossilesque@mander.xyz to science_memes@mander.xyz
https://www.indy100.com/science-tech/nasa-astronauts-masturbate-space-2676664628
“Three female astronauts can be impregnated by the same man on the same session… it finds its way,” Smyth replied.
Not buying it at all... I'm not saying it's impossible but the odds must be astronomical (no pun intended) just for one pregnancy... not even in a million years. Life finds a way, I know, but come on!
No, it’s true. Female astronauts usually float around up there with their twats out; spread wide open to air it out, and nearly every time a male astronaut blasts some rope, it floats straight to it obviously.
Also lady bits work like a vaccum, just sucking up all the stray dirt and food crumbs as well. Its why women are so good at staying at home.and vaccuuming, its literally natural.
(/s)
Space invaders: genetic boogaloo
Im out there shootin tardigrades
women floatin gonna get some babies made
that’s why I knew this rap was gonna be great
I wacked off in space and now my commanders …late…
well the article is from the future so we have to take their word for it
This article was originally published on 23 July 20222
People venturing outside of our atmosphere are advised against pleasuring themselves in zero gravity.
The reason? Female astronauts could accidentally get impregnated by stray fluids.
Seems all they have to do is invent some kind of nutsack.
Is it just me or does this seem tremendously unlikely and easy to prevent?
I propose funding for an aerospace cock sock that could keep everyone safe from stray nut.
Nut allergies strike again!
These guys never heard of a “posh-wank?”
I never beat my meat at Oxford. What’s a posh-wank?
That’s when you eat your cum so you don’t have to clean up right?
I could Google it but I’d rather hear it from you since, no, I have never heard of a posh-wank.
The NASA ScRoTE. Self-contained Repository of Testicular Ejaculate.
Have they actually done a fluid simulation, I still hold the position you can’t bukake in space or microgravity as it where
Semen isn’t gravity fed so I don’t think the lack of it would make a difference.
I think the bigger problem is the female astronauts slonking around the cabin crotch-first
Female astronaut: Here I go clam slammin in the cabin.
if you nut in space will it push you backwards
And since penises are usually not that close to the body's centre of mass it would also impart some rotation, unless the astrowanker has very good aim.
Yes. That’s so you can catch it in your mount on the way around.
Gravity 2 starring William Dafoe
Depends which way you point.
Asking the big questions.
Well guess you have a better excuse than “I tripped and fell in to her”
The female astronauts shouldn’t have dressed that way /s
Great… Another job I’m not qualified for
It was odd that the question was at the top of the application form too!
That reads as “male astronauts should not mastrubate in space”. So it’s absolutely fine for a female astronaut to rub one out. It’s not like she’s going to be ejecting eggs all over the place. Think of THAT OnlyFans.
Oh cum on, it’s going to be really hard to handle that. Mind you, I’d be more concerned about the stray ‘liquid’ getting into machinery and shorting something, rather than accidentally impregnating three women at a time.
Fortunately we don’t have to worry about this yet as “This article was originally published on 23 July 20222”.
Female astronauts could accidentally get impregnated by stray fluids.
New fetish unlocked
Pornhub: no Problem, we deliver.
Pornhub getting into the space race would be a hilarious and welcomed turn of events. The rockets naming potential alone is worth it.
I’m not sure nofap is the only viable strategy. What about requiring vasectomy or unisex birth control?
Btw, porn in space is an unfapped market niche.
requiring vasectomy
Yeah definitely man. I mean if you wanna go to space why don’t we jump to required castration while we’re at it?
I think a female astronaut is less likely to get pregnant if everybody is allowed to rub one out when they’re horny.
Well everything needs to be studied conclusively but wow.
We might soon have a drug that stops sperm production. That would be welcome news for space gooners.
We already have a drug that stops women from getting pregnant from direct nuts, let alone stray ones. I’m not saying that female astronauts should go on birth control to let the boys blast rope, but this cannot be the actual reason.
Sounds like there might be an emerging market for fleshlight shaped jizz vacuums.
Imagining some poor horny astronut with suitcase sprawled out on the bed the night before his big flight. His inner monologue churning out scenarios, crunching probabilities of situations where he’d be caught in an embarrassing situation with his vacusuck 2000 as he repeatedly packs and unpacks it.
“Well, honey? You bringing your Thirsty Kirsty® or not?”
By the same reasoning women should never sit on a single man’s computer chair either.
“Life finds a way”
That’s an interesting confirmation that everyone on the ISS has no trousers on at all times.
What kind of psycho wears trousers at home
Imagine you just get a wet dream and all of the female crew gets pregnant of stray cum
That’s got to be a fetish in the future.
I don’t think there will be any problem if you do it with just one hand instead of two, since you’ll need the other hand to hold onto something. Although they have all sorts of straps there, so the problem is completely made up.
ruuster13@lemmy.zip 39 minutes ago
This is not a serious publication.