Good thing NASA isn’t my mom.
NASA scientists says astronauts should not masturbate in space
Submitted 2 months ago by fossilesque@mander.xyz to science_memes@mander.xyz
https://www.indy100.com/science-tech/nasa-astronauts-masturbate-space-2676664628
Comments
socsa@piefed.social 2 months ago
ZeroHora@lemmy.ml 2 months ago
“Life finds a way”
guyoverthere123@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 months ago
Fuck you, I’ll shoot ropes up there!
Stalinwolf@lemmy.ca 2 months ago
(a spherical teaspoon of white glurp floats past)
“Wot? Wadn’t me.”
John, you’re the only man on board…
“Don’t know wot to tell ya, mate. Said it wadn’t me…”
echodot@feddit.uk 2 months ago
The point of thrust is offset so you’d spin around uncontrollably.
FosterMolasses@leminal.space 2 months ago
LMAOOOOOOO
Carl@hexbear.net 2 months ago
A Nasa engineer named Smythe answered questions from Conan O’Brien on his podcast Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend in 2022.
man says funny thing on comedy podcast, more at 11
there is simply no way that nobody has had sex in space. i know it’s against the rules but they sent a married couple up there at the same time once!
FosterMolasses@leminal.space 2 months ago
Also, who would pass that up if it were possible lol
It’s practically a bucket list item
FE80@lemmy.world 2 months ago
There’s a research grant to be had here.
GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 2 months ago
JayDee@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Thought you couldn’t get it up in zero G - and even If you could, we don’t actually know if the mechanisms needed to ejaculate would function in zero G.
jmill@lemmy.zip 2 months ago
As far as I know, everything would work fine. If it’s something you can do right-side-up, up-side-down, or prone, and in each orientation it works exactly the same way, it should work in zero G. It’s just hydraulics anyway. Not gravity dependant.
Kolanaki@pawb.social 2 months ago
Getting hard is a matter of hydraulic pressure. Don’t need gravity for your heart to pump blood, and ejaculation is a mechanical action, like swallowing.
5715@feddit.org 2 months ago
I’m not sure nofap is the only viable strategy. What about requiring vasectomy or unisex birth control?
Btw, porn in space is an unfapped market niche.
TrickDacy@lemmy.world 2 months ago
requiring vasectomy
Yeah definitely man. I mean if you wanna go to space why don’t we jump to required castration while we’re at it?
5715@feddit.org 2 months ago
Then provide reproductive healthcare in space
Cassa@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 months ago
Astronauts on mir got porn and probably used it too 🤷
timestatic@feddit.org 2 months ago
Imagine you just get a wet dream and all of the female crew gets pregnant of stray cum
webp@mander.xyz 2 months ago
That’s got to be a fetish in the future.
FosterMolasses@leminal.space 2 months ago
hobata@lemmy.ml 2 months ago
I don’t think there will be any problem if you do it with just one hand instead of two, since you’ll need the other hand to hold onto something. Although they have all sorts of straps there, so the problem is completely made up.
Carl@hexbear.net 2 months ago
They sleep in sleeping bags basically. I feel like you could zip yourself up, with or without a partner, and make it happen.
technocrit@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 months ago
NOFAPSA
Cassa@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 months ago
false article, but fun fact!
astronauts on Mir got porn sendt up, as well as having a small supply of alcohol for special occasions.
aaand nobody got pregnant.
FosterMolasses@leminal.space 2 months ago
Listen.
The shit that went down with Suni Williams and Butch Wilmore with the Boeing Starliner incident was written like a NASA fanfic.
Stranded for 10 months alone on the ISS? I hope they used protection lmao
epilogue
___ “Let’s just retire after all this so things aren’t weird.”
Transform2942@lemmy.ml 2 months ago
I love your telling of the story but there is one very inconvenient detail.
They definitely weren’t alone on the ISS, there was a whole regular Dragon crew and Soyuz crew in the station with them
ZkhqrD5o@lemmy.world 2 months ago
That’s an interesting confirmation that everyone on the ISS has no trousers on at all times.
fossilesque@mander.xyz 2 months ago
What kind of psycho wears trousers at home
MBech@feddit.dk 2 months ago
Am I missing a joke or something? “Stray fluids” aren’t just forcing their way into people’s vaginas.
Bluedragon012@lemmy.world 2 months ago
Jack off with a condom. Problem solved. That or make a designated jack off Suit that keeps all your fluids on one spot. A full body condom if you will. I know some here are born with one, but it wouldn’t hurt to have an extra layer.
HugeNerd@lemmy.ca 2 months ago
Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 2 months ago
I’d feel awful for anyone that needs to masturbate in space. Zero gravity fornication has got to be the bees knees. I would hope our astronauts are so orgied-out that by the end of the day they really just don’t have it in them to want to do that.
Admetus@sopuli.xyz 2 months ago
Wrong attribution to NASA aside, I think all adults know that there is much more surface tension than water in errr…the rope. Thanks Raiderkev for that awesome rundown in the comments.