saltnotsugar

@saltnotsugar@lemmy.world

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Biomimicry⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  So you’re a termite?
  “…uhhh totally.”
  What do we like to eat?
  “Stuff and wood and junk.”
  Okay good enough.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨[deleted]⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  #5 sleeping dicks out like Winnie the Pooh.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨It's too hot to think of why or how⁩ ⁨⁨5⁩ ⁨weeks⁩ ago⁩:

  It’s a lot like a battle where at first you have controlled volley fire, but later the panicked lieutenant shouts out to fire at will.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨I am calling corporate!⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Hickory smoked boner.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Horses go brr⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  APACHE DOOM MUSIC INTENSIFIES

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Jurassic Squawk⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Goose: Hark! Lost is my mass, but look upon my fury and despair!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Add it to the pile of reasons to hate 'em⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Al is Arabic for “the,” “um” was because the scientist forgot what he wanted to say, “in” means inside, and “um” also means the scientist forgot what to say and likely ran away.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨What the fuck⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  A rare turbo pregnancy!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨And if so, one or both?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  You haven’t lost your virginity until both balls are in.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨The real question is, which color?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Lime Green Skittle Script:

  (Bond opens the ring)
  Bond: Damn. I’ve been…Skittled.
  (Bond music opening)
  HE HAS A RING.
  A LITTLE GOLDEN RING.
  FILLED WITH ONE.
  AND ONLY ONE.
  LIME GREEN SKITTLE.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨mood⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Sorry Nike, but turn your logo upside down, kick off those sneakers and light up a NEWPORT.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Thing makes noise wallet goes empty⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  The violent rumbling is actually a relaxing massage.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨parlez-vous francais?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Non, monsieur. Eye vill not recommend a wine for yur chickon streeps.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Real af⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  It pays off in the moment but then you die to death the next day.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Is that the Crowning they talk of⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  (A girl is born)
  Doc: BRING FORWARD THE LARGEST BOW.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Oh no⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  We need more militant soup activists.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Zwei Mettbrötchen bitte!⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  This is by a wide margin one of the most hard hitting sandwiches to ever play the game.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Bugs⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Some say they’re feisty, but I think they work great as a team.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Feels wrong to not answer the call⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  (Tube bends slightly) The age of man is over.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Peak male form⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  You guys said no mustaches! Oh come on!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨News of the day⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  The Denny’s waitress rolled her eyes when I asked which wine pairs best with the chicken strips.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨What grass starvation does to the perma-online⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Anal is now first base.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Winging it⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  You know who we should use as a Jesus model? Jeff in accounting.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨🤯🤯🤯⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  Did you know you can just buy these in the store? Like you don’t need a realtor or anything!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Looking for the perfect 5 year anniversary gift?⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  AI, you’ve always been the caretaker of the Overlook hotel.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Sir! A second Click meme has hit Lemmy⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  One will gently clean, and the other will turbo scrub.

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨Gladly :3⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  B-But I’m not a Linux admin!

• ⁨Comment⁩ on ⁨kwah⁩ ⁨⁨1⁩ ⁨month⁩ ago⁩:

  L’dong bon hon et long un croissant!
  My hamster has run off with my croissant!
  HOH! Hoh hoh! Hoh!