Imagine finding a log with something like “we couldn’t stop shareholders, our planet is doomed. We will start with a new colony on the planet closer to sun, perhaps this time we will not destroy our home”
Horror story
Submitted 13 hours ago by LadyButterfly@piefed.blahaj.zone to science_memes@mander.xyz
https://piefed.cdn.blahaj.zone/posts/te/jV/tejV4NXzol6iRMu.jpg
Comments
HrabiaVulpes@europe.pub 3 hours ago
Avicenna@programming.dev 3 hours ago
wtf even downvotes do you work in microsoft or what? or do we have “anything big tech is good” bots here
Beehaw_Girl@beehaw.org 3 hours ago
Bill Gates logged in under six different usernames to downvote it.
placebo@lemmy.zip 3 hours ago
Bro is outraged because of 6 downvotes out of 702 total votes 💀
fraksken@infosec.pub 2 hours ago
To be honest, we’re talking microsoft teams here.
Mycatiskai@lemmy.ca 1 hour ago
There is a novel “Microserfs” many years back and in it if I recall all the guys at MS drove Ford Taurus because at some point Gates drove one. So all the little serfs wanted to be like him.
qevlarr@lemmy.world 8 hours ago
I have two Outlooks and neither of them are working
Sabata11792@ani.social 5 hours ago
Ticket closed. Feature not a bug.
rants_unnecessarily@piefed.social 5 hours ago
I understood that reference
mavu@discuss.tchncs.de 6 hours ago
Elon Musks bones.
No, wait, you said terrifying, not terrific. never mind.
ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 5 hours ago
Don’t give him what he says his life goal is (die on Mars). It would be way more terrific if he died in a supercar crash (like the one he had in 2000 with Peter Thiel as passenger in a $1M McLaren F1, the fastest production car back then).
BrickEater@lemmy.world 5 hours ago
God, if only we.could have been so lucky. Imagine how the last 26 years would’ve been with them dead.
mavu@discuss.tchncs.de 5 hours ago
I now know to which moment in time i go back to adjust the outcome, if the opportunity arises.
Sabata11792@ani.social 5 hours ago
Whay if whatever killed him and is wearing his skin is just as evil and stupid, but is not a junky.
bitjunkie@lemmy.world 4 hours ago
Aurenkin@sh.itjust.works 9 hours ago
Just started at a place that uses teams. The window always says I have two unread messages. I don’t.
bstix@feddit.dk 9 hours ago
Probably missed calls. It’ll keep showing a notification bubble in both activity and calls until you bother clicking the missed call as if that makes any difference or sense to anyone or anything but the notification counter.
mnemonicmonkeys@sh.itjust.works 6 hours ago
Or theyre reactions to a message
DaddleDew@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
I have to use Teams for work and it baffles me how unbelievably bad the interface is. Everything that should be easy and quick to do is made difficult and time consuming. Every time you try to do something simple you’d expect to be able to, it is blocked or limited in such a way that you can’t do it and you have to find a workaround. It fights you in every way it can whenever you’re trying to accomplish something. You also have to sign in with two factor authentication multiple times every day. I don’t understand how this so-called “productivity” suite is even tolerated by private companies. It cripples productivity.
hydrashok@sh.itjust.works 9 hours ago
While I agree the UI needs some work, getting prompted for MFA multiple times a day for just using Teams chat and meetings is not normal.
Prox@lemmy.world 6 hours ago
It’s not? Everyone at my company has the same experience.
Ariselas@piefed.ca 4 hours ago
what is supposed to be and what is are often two different things.
cabillaud@lemmy.world 9 hours ago
Sir, this is a Wendy’s?
ivan@piefed.social 12 hours ago
I can sometimes hear Teams notification sound from neighbour’s apartment, triggers me to check my phone almost every time.
EpicMuch@sh.itjust.works 12 hours ago
Enabling sound notifs for teams is pathological self hating behavior
meekah@discuss.tchncs.de 6 hours ago
They added the teams call sound as a horn to forza horizon 6, I made a few people tab out of the game with it lol
whats_a_lemmy@midwest.social 1 hour ago
Amazing
Agent641@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
“No Trespassing” signs, written in Goa’uld.
ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 4 hours ago
Honestly, anything written that we could understand without deciphering would raise a couple of terrifying questions:
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Who / What wrote this?
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Do they know our language or do we know theirs?
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applebusch@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 hours ago
KREE
wieson@feddit.org 8 hours ago
Woodland, swamp or plains?
OldChicoAle@lemmy.world 10 hours ago
“Didn’t you see my post in the channel?”
“Sweety, I don’t know wtf is going on in this cluster fuck. Be thankful I even replied”
omodasonya3@lemmy.zip 4 hours ago
Lol
Mucki@feddit.org 5 hours ago
Every time I hear someone ask to help out with Teams, it sounds to me like “Can you help me shove my fist further up my ass” … Yes eeeh sure . . .
ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 5 hours ago
There are no Teams servers on Mars and the client will time out before radio signals can reach Earth. So any copies of Microsoft Teams on Mars are just a waste of storage space, and not very terrifying compared to “actual” malware that could be in the same storage space.
onnekas@sopuli.xyz 5 hours ago
twist: Microsoft already built data centers and servers on Mars.
sbeak@sopuli.xyz 12 hours ago
Or maybe you believe in the Great Filter hypothesis, and signs of life discovered on Mars implies that this filter may be ahead of humanity rather than behind it
Rudee@lemmy.ml 10 hours ago
The most impactful moment of our history: explorers on Mars discovered the remains of an ancient spacefaring civilization. In the decades that followed, these mysterious artifacts revealed startling new technologies, enabling travel to the furthest stars. The basis for this incredible technology was a force that controlled the very fabric of space and time. They called it the greatest discovery in human history. The civilizations of the galaxy call it
thehatfox@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
If there was intelligent life on Mars in past there would presumably be lasting signs that we could discover.
Who knows what signs we might find in ice cores from the Martian South Pole.
pressanykeynow@lemmy.world 10 hours ago
If there was intelligent life on Mars in past there would presumably be lasting signs that we could discover.
Finding signs of technological development on Venus on the other hand would be interesting…
sbeak@sopuli.xyz 12 hours ago
Even if this were the case though, life on Mars (or anywhere outside of Earth) would be a really cool discovery!
SeeMarkFly@lemmy.ml 10 hours ago
I saw a conspiracy theory that said we used to live on Mars but we polluted it so much that, to survive, we had to send a rocket with two children to the next planet, called Earth. Then everyone died.
The children’s names were Adam and Eve.
psx_crab@lemmy.zip 12 hours ago
That Tesla Melon Husk dumped in the space.
Agent641@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
With Elons body in the space suit. The Elon that remained on earth is something… Else.
psx_crab@lemmy.zip 10 hours ago
What left for us is a Felon.
Kolanaki@pawb.social 12 hours ago
Elon Musk.
saltnotsugar@lemmy.world 12 hours ago
Static crackles in the astronaut’s helmet as he makes his way onto the red soil. A message pops up on his display. “Hey, got a sec for a quick teams call?”
ParadoxSeahorse@lemmy.world 9 hours ago
Presumably it’s mostly topological horror.
Getting trapped in caves, falling off cliffs, collapsing ground, tentacle pits
borokov@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
Buga or organisme from earth.
It would means we have already contaminate this environment and we won’t be able to tell if any discovered life form came from mars or from contamination.
ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca 3 hours ago
I thought we knew we already did that with the rover.
Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 10 hours ago
the mars movie tropes, always find some secret alien life or advanced structure on the planet.
WoodScientist@lemmy.world 8 hours ago
Here’s a fun one. We find an archive. Stored in a form durable enough to last eternity, we find a vault, the last remnant of some long-forgotten Martian civilization.
They include the usual history, culture, historical artifacts, etc. But what shocks our explorers most of all? The biological archive. DNA sequences, freeze dried tissue samples, etc. Their language, once cracked, reveals the truth.
This isn’t just a library or archive to remember the Martians. They knew they were on a slowly dying world. They never got rocket technology, though they did master advanced biology before the end. So they included everything needed to revive them, to actually bring them back from the dead.
Then we have to figure out what to do. This isn’t the dodo bird or some other species we, humanity, are responsible for killing off. The Martians died of natural causes a billion years before our ancestors crawled out of the water. We have no ancestral moral debt to the Martians.
Sure, we could bring them back. But think through the implications of that. Mars is their world, the very planet we were planning to colonize. Will they want it back, maybe ask to live on Earth in the millennia it takes to teraform it? And even then, we’ll now have a literal alien civilian right on our doorstep. Do we really want to open that Pandora’s Box?
I was introduced to the concept of the moral dilemma of bringing back extinct aliens from Isaac Arthur, and it’s a scenario I truly love.
Phantaloons@piefed.zip 10 hours ago
Excuses.
mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 12 hours ago
Legitimately inhaled through teeth.
umbraroze@slrpnk.net 1 hour ago
Artemis II astronauts going around the Moon: “I have two Outlooks, neither of which works”
Astronauts during the first Mars mission: “I previously had two Teams versions, neither of which worked, and now there’s apparently a third one, and it doesn’t work either”