SeeMarkFly
@SeeMarkFly@lemmy.ml
- Comment on Go Green 2 weeks ago:
Sorta like me and my Ex.
All by ourselves we’re fine but together…watch out.
I didn’t know marijuana and I had so much in common.
- Comment on fart 2 weeks ago:
I’ll be here all week, try the buffet.
- Comment on fart 2 weeks ago:
Farts In particular, what to say after you fart in a crowd (or elevator).
“Take that!”
“What do you say?” like prompting a child to say thank you.
“That’ll be five bucks, you pervert”
“Not a bad sound out of a half inch speaker”
“Did you hear that spider bark?"
“Someone step on a duck?”
“That duck’s got bad breath”
Forest Area Reticulated Tree Spiders (FARTS)
“A bit more choke and that engine will start”
“Did you hear what that asshole just said?”
“There’s someone behind me talking shit!”
“Keep shouting Sir, we’ll find you”
“So sayeth the King”
“I shouldn’t have trusted that one”
“I don’t remember eating that.”
“That’s gonna itch when it dries”
‘‘Two sniffs of that would be greedy’’
“The the horns working, now try the lights”
“Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk”
“The Rear Admiral has spoken”
(Just before you fart) “Alexa, play something by Ed Sheeran”
“Don’t worry, (name), I’ll tell them it was me!”
“You’ve/I’ve got a turd honking for the right of way.”
“Ahh, the ghost of dinners past”
“You got that one for free, next one you will have to pull my finger”
“As foretold by The Prophecy.”
“Now your turn”
The toothless one speaks !
“Sounds much better after my tune up”
“Aaaand…scene!”
“That was supposed to be a song but came out of the wrong end”
“Message from turd castle”
“Glad I’m not in my Space Suit”
“Damn! I was saving that for the elevator”
“An empty house is better than a bad tenant”
“Guess what I had for my last meal”
“This haaause is noww cleeeean”
“carpet frogs”
“Now that I have your attention, we will have a moment of silence for all those that have died in elevator accidents”
- Comment on Go Green 2 weeks ago:
I’ve seen this before, those are ornamental tomato plants.
- Comment on Health Secretary Kennedy says there's 'not sufficient' proof to show Tylenol causes autism 2 weeks ago:
Here is some evidence that the worm is now moving again.
- Comment on [deleted] 3 weeks ago:
When religion becomes law, freedom will be a sin
- Comment on I'm so goddamn sick of this fat, orange, narcissistic asshole and I will celebrate when he dies 3 weeks ago:
His grave will need a floor drain, I’m peeing THERE.
- Comment on You can't make this shit up 1 month ago:
What a humiliating way for Don Jr. to find out his dad sends birthday cards.
- Comment on Too soon? 2 months ago:
Or too late?
- Comment on Hydrogen 3 months ago:
If you dream that you are sleeping, can you sleep twice as fast?
- Comment on Him and Elon were cybering, calling it now... 4 months ago:
We ALL know we’ve been sold out. What we want to know NOW is for how much.
How much were we worth…to YOU???
- Comment on Venmo overdrafted my bank rather than use the balance in my account 4 months ago:
It’s not designed against humans, its designed for bankers.
- Comment on Nine out of ten dentists approve! 6 months ago:
I am one of the unfortunate one that, during a double blind test, became addicted to placebos. My life is now a living hell. I can’t find good placebos anywhere. I went to the drug store and yelled “THROW ME A LIFESAVER”. They gave me butterscotch. Tomorrow will be much like today.
- Comment on Jeremy Renner Turned Down ‘Hawkeye’ Season 2 Because He Was Offered ‘Half’ His Season 1 Salary: ‘Did You Think I’m Only Half the Jeremy Because I Got Ran Over?’ 6 months ago:
They can get a masked CGI to do it for less. CGI A.I. body doubles is gonna make them rich.
- Comment on Bingo 6 months ago:
If America saw what America was doing to America, then America would invade America to liberate America.
- Comment on [deleted] 6 months ago:
Play the song “Mama’s got a squeeze box” real loud. Over and over again.
- Comment on Chipotle offering a discount, while warning they may also inflate prices and delivery fees simultaneously 7 months ago:
Discount increased prices or increased discount prices?
- Comment on Horses ARE Forever 7 months ago:
Who cares what time it is, I have a Rolex.
- Comment on They said the packaging would be discreet! 7 months ago:
The dildo of consequence ALWAYS arrives un-lubed.
- Comment on They said the packaging would be discreet! 7 months ago:
It’s the dildo of consequence heading for D.C. I hope it gets there soon.