Dude read the rules of woman only community and decided to post anyway

Comments

• SuperEars@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

  I enjoy that community as a non-participant. A user’s decision to merely interact can reveal much more than they intended to reveal - super interesting to me. Just the existence of the community pits dudes with insecurities against their own lack of self control or social tact, for all to see.

  Future me might comment there too quickly after overlooking the community name. I’ll get a warranted Tsk and I’ll see myself out. No big deal. It’s not a kick in the nuts unless I make it one.

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• YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today ⁨4⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

  When I first started here I had a relevant point for a women’s only community on the front. I asked if my opinion was welcome, told it was not (but fairly respectfully), and the only comment I left was an apology.

  Like it’s not hard to be respectful, even if you hold a slightly different opinion. I don’t go to any of the “on grad” posts and let my opinions about Stalin fly(which are largely negative despite me agreeing with a lot of the tenants of communism).

  The only exception I make about being respectful is anyone bragging about not voting last election in the US. You all suck and I will not let you live it down peacefully. Ffs vote third party! But don’t brag about being a lazy POS and standing by while fascism takes over!

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• Binette@lemmy.ml ⁨12⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

  post about women’s only space 150+ comments, 50 downvotes

  Close enough. Welcome back reddit

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• peopleproblems@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Nobody posted it!?

  Image

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• Wren@lemmy.today ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Oh good. I don’t follow this com, another comment tipped me off.

  While I do enjoy a little bit of chaos and schadenfreude, it would be nice to block out user names. Call out the mistake, not the person.

  Most people here are lovely, but it only takes one match to start a fire. Might as well address some bullshit in these comments since I’m gonna get trolled by incels anyway…

  side note: I’m not a mod there.

  • The women’s com is trans and non-binary inclusive. Anyone who feels at home there (and is respectful) is welcome.

  • It’s not all bitching about men. Looking at the last twenty posts, one was about men and two were related to men. We talk about pads and health and essays and positivity memes and do fun activities on fridays.

  • I support men making their own support groups. Although the internet itself often feels like a menfolk support group(to me,) I’m sure there are plenty of things an easy to find, curated space, could offer men who want to be just a little more vulnerable, knowing they would be supported by the mods if any toxic women came in to devalue their opinions and experience.

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  • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I support men making their own support groups. Although the internet itself often feels like a menfolk support group(to me,) I’m sure there are plenty of things an easy to find, curated space, could offer men who want to be just a little more vulnerable, knowing they would be supported by the mods if any toxic women came in to devalue their opinions and experience.

    They should. the issue with this is they get branded as hate-groups.

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    • tree_frog_and_rain@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

      There are support groups for men out there that are not generally charectirized as toxic. Toxic folks may attack men for going to them, but I can tell you before I transitioned I used to go to one, and that wasn’t something I ever experienced.

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    • stevedice@sh.itjust.works ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Don’t make them a hate-group for losers, then? This speaks more about the places you’re hanging out.

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    • Wren@lemmy.today ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Hello, incel/femcel/themcel #1! You just made all that up.

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  • ronl2k@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

    I support men making their own support groups.

    While women are allowed to keep men out of their groups, it doesn’t work the other way around. Even gay men’s groups have trouble keeping invasive women from changing the nature of their groups.

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    • Wolf314159@startrek.website ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

      Whataboutism is a non-sequitor that disrupts and discourages productive discussion.

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• AmidFuror@fedia.io ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Incel behavior includes using "female" as a noun when talking about women. Using "female" as an adjective is perfectly normal and common. It is fine to write "female coworker" instead of "coworker who is a woman."

  Some people are hypersensitive to wrongspeak.

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  • Acamon@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I don’t think people are bothered by “female coworker”, which is perfectly normal. It’s the reference to a “female-only” community, when the actual com is called WomensStuff and describes itself as “women only” and “a women’s community”.

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    • fushuan@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Maybe it’s just me, but in female-only community, I’m using female as part of a composed adjective. I’d say male-only community too, it just feels more natural. In fact, in an earlier comment I wrote women only, and then writing man only felt SO bad that I changed both to female and male.

      Now that I think about it it’s probably because I used man instead of men. I’ll change both back but OOP miiight have followed my logic? Idk

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    • AmidFuror@fedia.io ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Ok. I somehow missed that. I scanned for other uses of "female" a few times but was blinded to the one right next to coworker.

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  • corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Incel behavior includes using “female” as a noun when talking about women.

    Sure: A -> B != B => A

    You … know that, right?

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    • AmidFuror@fedia.io ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I have no idea what you're trying to communicate, but I do understand the logical expression you used.

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• hodgepodgin@lemmy.zip ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  I blocked this community a while ago so I don’t accidentally view/comment on it

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  • Saprophyte@lemmy.world ⁨34⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

    Same, I responded to a comment and got good feedback and upvoted a good bit followed by being berated by a mod. I blocked the community that day.

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  • Dozzi92@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Same. I’m definitely guilty of glossing over community names, but fortunately saw that community the one time it took to block.

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• teft@piefed.social ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Segregated anything is fucking dumb. Segregated internet communities are especially fucking dumb because anyone can be anyone on the internet.

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  • psycotica0@lemmy.ca ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Congratulations, you’re the man they’re trying to forget exists for 10 fucking minutes a day in their off time!

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    • teft@piefed.social ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Who said I was a guy? Again, anyone can be anyone on the internet.

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    • glimse@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I am in full support of the community rules but that’s an interesting claim when like 1/3 of the posts are about men lol

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  • bdonvr@thelemmy.club ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    A segregated internet would be more like if they had a whole version of Lemmy for all topics but only for women, and then didn’t also participate in the other one.

    This is just one community calm the hell down they can have their space.

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    • i_dont_want_to@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      If they want their own space, they are just bigots. That’s what they called me when I excluded them from the general space in the past!

      -the people arguing against that comm, probably

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    • Bronzebeard@lemmy.zip ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      You’ve angered the incels.

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  • victorz@lemmy.world ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Also I wonder how it would look if we made a Men’s Club community where only men were allowed and women were openly mob-scolded for participating. Would probably be considered a pretty sexist environment.

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    • BlameTheAntifa@lemmy.world ⁨55⁩ ⁨minutes⁩ ago

      I know I’m sending mixed signals, but those things are not equivalent. All of modern society is patriarchal and women face exclusion from spaces their entire lives because of their sex or gender. Things have improved slightly over the decades but this kind of misogyny is still a global pandemic. When men are called privileged this is why. That ignorance is a privilege. Lucky you, that you haven’t experienced this constantly for your entire life. Want to create a “Men’s Club” community? We’ve all been living in it our entire lives. Nothing new to see there.

      I still feel dirty thinking about the womensstuff community, though. The first time I stumbled in there I had no idea where I was and someone said “As a man…” and then asked a question, and they were told to be quiet. Women experience that constantly, and it’s worse for girls. So much worse. Especially if you are the chatty type of autistic that I am. Having experienced it, I would never subject others to that. I felt that interaction viscerally and immediately blocked the community. I understand wanting to have a safe space, and I do have those with certain private groups, but seeing that behavior was awful. Even queer spaces are welcoming to allies, and I feel inclusion of allies in all social matters is critical for progress to happen.

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    • protist@mander.xyz ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Literally nothing is stopping you from creating a community for men with a rule that only men participate. The difference is that in the community you’re thinking about though, women wouldn’t be constantly trying to mess with it. There are hundreds of communities to choose from. You’re not entitled to participate in them all.

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    • MystValkyrie@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

      Hey, go for it! If c/men4slib became men-only, I’d support them! There are some communities where women wouldn’t have anything to contribute, and that’s okay and wouldn’t be sexist.

      But just don’t go full 4chan with a men-only community and I’d say that’s fine.

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    • Rooskie91@discuss.online ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      The mens club you’re talking about DOES exist though. Since men are not a marginalized minority, that club is just called society.

      Your logic mirrors asking, ‘Why not create a whites-only club?’ Technically, you could, but people would rightly view it negatively because white people, as a group, are not marginalized. Exclusive spaces for minorities exist to provide relief from the discrimination or bias they routinely encounter. For groups that do not face those barriers, everyday society already functions as their ‘exclusive space,’ which makes it difficult for non-minorities to understand why others might need a separate environment.

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    • MnemonicBump@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      /c/dull_mens_club@lemmy.world

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    • Zephorah@discuss.online ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      It exists. Or did. Menslib over on that other platform.

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  • Grimy@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    That’s really ignoring a mountain of history. Up until a decade ago, “there are no girls on the internet” was a common saying.

    I just see it as a way to foster and encourage an under represented segment of the community. It feels completely valid when that segment is still often met with hostility from weirdos.

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    • paultimate14@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Was it a common saying or were you just on 4chan too much?

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    • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      the point of the saying was that your sex/gender shouldn’t matter. it wasn’t to exclude women.

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  • paultimate14@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    [deleted]

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    • atomicorange@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      It’s entirely about self identification. There’s no gender policing, they just kindly ask people who start their comments with phrases like “as a man…” or “not a woman, but…” to refrain from further commenting. They don’t even delete the comments. Even still, inevitably if the post reaches the front page all the women in the comments will be drowned out by highly upvoted “as a man…” commenters. They just want to have a conversation without being shouted over.

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    • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      exactly. this is the whole problem with trans stuff and gender essentailism.

      who the fuck is to say what a woman is? a lot of people tie to totally arbitrary nonsense.

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  • Angelevo@feddit.nl ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Bingpot.

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• brucethemoose@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  That’s community’s mods are super nice. Probably too nice TBH.

  …But yeah. Follow community rules. Or post elsewhere. It is not that hard.

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  • gusgalarnyk@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I think it’s hard simply because browsing by /all, or even by communities you follow and then just in your main thread, is not set up to highlight the community or it’s rules. If something hits the front page of /all I’m rarely digging into the communities specific rules or even where it’s coming from to an extent. Only to say, it’s a learned behavior to care about the communities specifically in this site aggregator system.

    All of that being said, people of course should respect community rules and learn the behavior of identifying what room they’re in before engaging with that community. I’m just not surprised when these flimsy barriers fail.

    Is the best behavior to block any community you don’t or can’t participate in? I personally don’t love that behavior because I like seeing what everyone is discussing in threads, but that’s a reasonable solution. Obviously my current strat is just reading the community before posting (like not commenting negatively about Star Gate getting a new season in the star gate community as an example that happened today lol).

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    • brucethemoose@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Wandering in, missing the rule sign, apologizing when you’re corrected fine. I’ve done it; the mods there couldn’t have been nicer about it. It’s not ideal, but the system works well enough; it’s the mods shouldering that burden more than anything.

      …The problem is when the guys are corrected and keep talking anyway. Which I see happen a lot.

      There is no excuse for that.

      ---

      Is the best behavior to block any community you don’t or can’t participate in? I personally don’t love that behavior because I like seeing what everyone is discussing in threads, but that’s a reasonable solution.

      I feel extremely mixed about this, yeah. I feel weird even talking about it.

      I personally don’t love that behavior because I like seeing what everyone is discussing in threads, but that’s a reasonable solution.

      The women’s space… doesn’t prohibit lurking? On one hand, the community is public, and I’m curious about the perspective in the discussions. I’m interested in understanding them so I can be more respectful person myself.

      …But I don’t want to violate their privacy either. Blocking is reasonable.

      ---

      Obviously my current strat is just reading the community before posting (like not commenting negatively about Star Gate getting a new season in the star gate community as an example that happened today lol).

      Read the room, yeah.

      IMO TV fandoms shouldn’t worship their material. Negative discussion is allowed, otherwise the space gets toxic.

      In fact, this kinda happened to one of my personal fandom spaces, /r/thelastairbender: among other things, they idolize ATLA (the original series) like a diety, to the point where anything different (including other material like Korra or the Netflix adaption) is demonized. Deeper stuff like the novels, fanfics or speculative lora is not welcome either.

      That sucks. It’s all to common; the Star Wars fandom (for instance) is notorious for it. And its why some negativity and ‘outsider perspectives’ should be welcomed in such spaces.

      The women’s space is different though. It’s basically a shelter from the shit this group puts up with IRL and online, so being more sensitive to barging in makes sense.

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    • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I think it’s hard simply because browsing by /all, or even by communities you follow and then just in your main thread, is not set up to highlight the community or it’s rules. If something hits the front page of /all I’m rarely digging into the communities specific rules or even where it’s coming from to an extent. Only to say, it’s a learned behavior to care about the communities specifically in this site aggregator system.

      Bingo. This is the classic ‘read the sidebar’ site from reddit. most users aren’t reading hte sidebar because the side bar doesn’t exist for them when they click in front the front page.

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  • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    because that isn’t how a public internet site works.

    if you go to the park and hold a women only event, and get upset men are in the park and wander over and are curious what is going on…

    if you want a private exclusive type of space… then make it private and exclusive.

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    • brucethemoose@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      To correct your ‘public park’ analogy, the space is public. Men can wander in. But it has clear signs posted at the only entrance saying its a space for women to speak, please be quiet, otherwise.

      If you wander in and violate that rule, that is no one’s fault but yours.

      ---

      personally i have a dick but i don’t really identify as being a ‘man’. nor do identify as being a ‘woman’. i’m just a person. so am i therefore allowed to commentate? or is the mods who determine my sex/gender status, regardless of how i perceive myself?

      …A primary reason for that rule is basically “don’t be a dick about this being a women’s only space, please.”

      If you feel you qualify as a woman to speak in the space, go for it! That’s the idea. But you specifically say "nor do [I] identify as being a ‘woman’. "

      But making an issue out of it is exactly what is unwanted.

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    • Rivalarrival@lemmy.today ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      The public park is owned by everyone, not just the women. You would be correct to be upset by men being excluded from this public space.

      Comms are not public assets. Your use of any comm is entirely at the pleasure of the administrators of that comm, and their designated moderators.

      Your opinion on the way they implement and enforce their rules is entirely irrelevant within their comm.

      My suggestion would be to do what you would for any other comm whose behavior you do not support and/or whose rules you find reprehensible: block them and move on.

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    • Tarquinn2049@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Lets say you go to a public building and in that public building there is a room marked women only, lets say in that room are some toilets, would go in that room? Since it’s a public space in the same building as all the other public space, the only difference is that portion of the space is understood to be only for women, or those that identify as women.

      You may stumble in accidentally, and you will be gently corrected, but if you keep stumbling in, it’s gonna start to seem weird.

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• IcedRaktajino@startrek.website ⁨9⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  It’s just…the internet I guess?

  Go into the various “Ask” communities, and you’ll see things like this constantly:

  Women of Lemmy, what’s something that…?

  As a man, I …

  Americans of Lemmy, what is your favorite…?

  As a European, I…

  Definitely mildly infuriating when people just butt in when they’re specifically not the target of the question. If I’m somehow doing that with this reply, lol, I apologetically appreciate the irony.

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  • Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    It is significantly more likely to read:

    “Europeans of Lemmy……?”

    “As an American……!”

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    • TachyonTele@piefed.social ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      Is that why US political posts are always filled with people from other countries?

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    • IcedRaktajino@startrek.website ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I’ll take your word for it, though I assume it is the case. Like I said…it’s just the internet doing what it does (for better or worse).

      “As an American” when I see those, I don’t even go into them because my opinion wasn’t solicited. I also don’t throw out my opinions in non-American news/politics communities for the same reason. Also, I wish that was a two-way street.

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  • glimse@lemmy.world ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    I’ve accidentally commented in that community more than once when it was a generic post…but the top comment nowadays is a reminder of the rules.

    Very, very different than the examples you describe

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  • adry@piefed.social ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    As a professional opinionator, I…

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    • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      you get paid for internet comments?

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  • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    The issue is that people want a public forum to be private and controlled as such.

    Like if you go to a public park and want to kick out anyone who isn’t a part of your party you want ot have there… the issue is you. it’s not the other users of the public park.

    that isn’t how it works. if you want a private party you need to have it on a private piece of land.

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    • IcedRaktajino@startrek.website ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      In a public park, you can absolutely ask random people to leave your party area. Not the park, but the space you are using. Double so if you’ve gone through the process to reserve that section.

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• Isolde@lemmy.world ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  I saw this play out and there were more than one of these users breaking the rules on that sub. I guess it’s tempting to want to comment on a first page thread, but boundaries exist for a reason. I don’t really see women going into incel spaces, making incels uncomfortable. Still, what it looked like was most of these men knew this wasn’t a community for them, but figured that their comments were so invaluable, how could it exist without their imput. It’s pathetic.

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  • FlihpFlorp@piefed.zip ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    i usually browse by all and have sometimes accidentally have commented on the women’s stuff comm. The first time I did it they left my comment up (I didn’t know it was exclusively a women’s comm I thought it was a focus on women) but gave me a friendly reminder that it is womens stuff. Anyways I’ve also almsot commented in that comm a few times and only noticed it after reading comments

    ANYWAYS that was longer than I anticipated but all I can excuse is accidentally commenting, the actual behavior is not especially since they said it they knew it was a women only community. IMO that’s not ok since I’m sure of what OOP was doing was allowed or “as a man…” was allowed, 90% of the comm would be men effectively destroying the women only space

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    • Isolde@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

      I can understand a mistake, and like I read on the original thread and on here; the mods are really nice. It just really shouldn’t happen more than once imo. I also feel bad for the mods literally trying to keep a space designated for woman safe. When I first saw the group, and the rules- It was confusing but I think it’s understandable. There’s not 100 of these spaces, and the rules should be understandable for anyone who thought of participating.

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  • northernlights@lemmy.today ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Exactly, dude is just proving them right that all men are self-important assholes. It’s like a woman going on /r/redpill and telling them they’re just angry, ugly geeks. Not helping.

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• Acamon@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  I agree that the guy in the post is mildlyinfuriating at best, and much more likely a douche (never hear a woman use male as a noun like that, a very particular shibboleth). But I’m not sure I love. This community becoming half posts picking on specific users. Should we blur the usernames? Otherwise its an easy path to brigading and bullying.

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  • corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca ⁨6⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    never hear a woman use male as a noun like that

    I heard ‘male’ the same place I heard ‘female’, and this wasn’t surprising. I’m jealous at your certainty that you haven’t yet and thus never will. Apparently, though, “there are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy”

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• FridaySteve@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  I saw that post too. I noticed it was a woman-only space and muted it. Godspeed to them, people deserve to have communities like that.

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  • rustyfish@piefed.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Same. I have a bad habit of shitposting into a comment section only to later see which community it was in. So I preemptively blocked them. The only community I did so, not to protect myself, but others.

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• BlameTheAntifa@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  I forgot that community existed. Segregation gives me the ick to such an extent I blocked it. I think it’s the only non-german-language community I’ve blocked.

  A publicly visible forum isn’t a safe space. I can go to a discord channel for that. I would never think to tell someone to shut up because of physical characteristics. That’s precisely how social poisons like transphobia propagate. Could Elliot Page post there? What about Hunter Schafer? What about enbys? Jack Haven? Do we demand genital inspections like MAGA gestapo? Would you exclude my partner for failing to pass some feminine-enough test?

  Segregation of public and publicly visible places is fundamentally and ethically wrong. I will help build the louisettes to dismantle the patriarchy, but I won’t exclude people even their “type” has traditionally held a position of privilege. It’s not right and it makes us the baddies the misogynistic claim we are.

  My point is, I don’t like anything about this. ESH. I don’t support or endorse any of this, from the community to the alleged interlopers. It’s all wrong.

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  • MystValkyrie@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    The community you’re complaining about actually allows trans and nonbinary people.

    Right now women make up 2.5% of the overall Lemmy userbase. They’re more likely to be downvoted and dogpiled by the remaining 97.5% of Lemmy in coed spaces. If we want Lemmy to grow and be open for everyone, for now we need women-only communities so we can create positive associations with the platform where we can express our opinions freely without worry about being brigaded. If womens’ spaces on Lemmy were open to men, it would be majority men commenting on all of those posts, and our voices would get drowned out. Most or all of us would get fed up and leave. The thing is, if you don’t allow protections for women, you still end up with segregation.

    So there’s an important crossroads that we need to decide. Do we allow X-exclusive communities in the hopes of building up Lemmy and the Fediverse? Or do we defederate instances with communities that support minority communities, and accept the inevitability that Lemmy will continue to be a male-only space for good?

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  • ech@lemmy.ca ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    If only they had it explicitly laid out who is allowed to comment.

    …oh wait, they do. So your “transphobia” strawman is entirely baseless.

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  • Tarquinn2049@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    We are fully allowed to read it, just don’t post. Reading it is very insightful.

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• Gonzako@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  one of the few communities I have blocked one of the things I value is being able to chip in

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  • HeadyBroccoli@lemmy.zip ⁨2⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    So you blocked it? Lol seems strange

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• confusedpuppy@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  I find it interesting how men regularly insert themselves into places or communities that are not designed for their specific label. I want to wonder what it is about women specifically that really makes men so uncomfortable about women having a place to discuss the world amongst themselves. But it doesn’t take long to see a common trend that appears which is a man is attempting to push their dominance over a situation.

  Often times a comment begins with “As a man…” and it’s obvious the commenter is positioning themselves as an “authoritative” voice. Placing themselves higher than the women in a woman’s community. As if their words, experiences or perspectives hold more weight then the other people in this community not designed for men.

  I often see this behaviour also within men’s communities such as Men’s Liberation. It confuses me greatly to see “As a man…” comments in the Men’s Liberation community because why do you need to declare your man status, in a men’s community, talking about men’s issues?? It seems to me it’s about placing their own thoughts, experiences and perspectives over the other, “lesser” men in the community. Often those comments ignore the message of the article or video while adding absolutely nothing additional to the conversation. They just stated they are men. That’s it.

  The same men that argue against a segregated internet would not hesitate to join a men’s only community in real life or not. It’s not even a conscious effort for them to join a men’s only community. So when a community appears that doesn’t include them, I imagine it must feel insulting to be excluded this one time.

  There’s over 8 billion people on this planet with over 8 billion different experiences, not everyone is going to relate to everything all the time. An individual’s experience is not universal. An individual’s experience does not give them authority over another groups experiences. Spending a life trying to dominate everything around yourself is an impossible task because there will always be people who will defy your authority. Nature in general doesn’t have a single fuck to give about one person’s dominance.

  Good on the women who persist to exist in men dominant spaces. It’s a steep uphill battle. It’s an exhausting battle that seems never ending. I recently read how some of these women only communities operate behind the scenes and how they deal with certain issues. It showed how much effort they put into their community. I have an even greater appreciation for their existence now and I hope they continue to exist and grow.

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  • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    women insert themselves into men’s spaces too.

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• bstix@feddit.dk ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  That community hits “front page” quite often. It’s easy to miss the community name (and rules) unless you pay attention.

  It would be nice if there was a brother community that had the same topic, and a default text in all posts explaining this and redirecting the men to that.

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  • LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨hour⁩ ago

    That would be an understandable mistake if the poster hadnt literally quoted the rule they were breaking.

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  • TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    not any different than any community that random gets frontpaged and gets flooded by randos.

    on reddit i was a part of several smaller subs that would get front paged a couple times a year and this got nutty for a few days.

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• AceFuzzLord@lemmy.zip ⁨4⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Yeah, that definitely is annoying to have a man invade a space specifically for women, speaking as a man. You certainly ain’t doing any favors by going onto a woman’s space to reply to their posts if you’re a man.

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• ThePantser@sh.itjust.works ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  As a man… just stating that it has nothing to do with the rest of my comment, but when I see those communities I just filter and move on. I do the same for all the gross *Moe communities with cartoon children dressed inappropriately.

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  • Nollij@sopuli.xyz ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    Just FYI, those are almost all on the same instance, and you can block that instance as a whole. It’s dedicated to anime, so there’s not a ton of collateral damage.

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• ryathal@sh.itjust.works ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  X only communities shouldn’t be publicly viewable.

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  • aramis87@fedia.io ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

    If they're not publicly viewable, how do you expect people to know to look for them? How many communities / subreddits have you become a part of because you saw a post from it crop up on your feed?

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• BurgerBaron@piefed.social ⁨7⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Really not the point of this community, the mod doesn’t care so I guess why should I. Leaving.

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• Zephorah@discuss.online ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Ferengis are known outside of the Star Trek fan base. A well travelled species.

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• dohpaz42@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

  Ironic given the community you’re posting to, and its own rules. But 🤷‍♂️.

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