Acamon
@Acamon@lemmy.world
- Comment on What age gap is too big of an age gap if someone's in their early 30's? 6 hours ago:
I’ve always heard the “half your age plus seven” rule (mostly somewhat jokingly) for the appropriate minimum age of your partner. But I read somewhere that it’s origin is from some 18th century manual for finding a wife, wherein it indicated the MAX age of an appropriate wife…
- Comment on Are those of us who grew up on older games more attuned to latency? 1 day ago:
- Comment on Do you read analog clocks to the exact minute? How do you do this quickly? 6 days ago:
For you, what’s the value in reading the exact minute? (genuine question, not snark!) In your example it looks like it’s 9:23 but it’s actually 9:22:45… Is that a problem? Probably by the time you do anything with that information fifteen seconds will have passed and it will be 9:23.
For most people, I think analogue is more of vibes way of telling time. You don’t need to know that it’s 7:47 you just glance and see it’s almost ten to eight, and you have to leave soon. I find that I’m basically translating digital time into those approximation anyway. If you like that kinda vagueness and have an android watch then I’d recommend Twelveish as a watch face.
- Comment on Is "AI" the end of truth? 6 days ago:
Some kids make fake ‘fairy’ photos in 1917 and lots of people believed them. As others have mentioned, the USSR removed people from photographs. A forged will in the middle ages let the papacy claim authority over Europe, and shaped the western world as we know it today.
There have always been lies and fakes, and there’s always people who’ve ignored real evidence claiming it’s been fake. AI certainly makes things worse, and will be used to discredit legitimate evidence as much as it is used to fake shit. But humanity has lived most of its existence without a “pics or it didn’t happen” attitude, and will continue to figure stuff out (and make mistakes) through investigation, interpersonal trust and community.
- Comment on Public mobile has a queue when opening their mobile app!! 1 week ago:
Wtf?
- Comment on how do i make my own limitation free ai? 2 weeks ago:
If someone with a home computer and very little knowledge of AI could setup an AI that could do admin jobs for software companies … Why wouldn’t the software companies do exactly that themselves rather than outsource work?
I think you’re massively overestimating what a LLM is capable of.
- Comment on Do gangs that collect protection money actually do any protecting? 2 weeks ago:
Depending on the political climate, non state organisations can help resolve community issues and provide protection, while the official government views them as gangs / terrorists. For example, in Northern Ireland.
- Comment on If suffering is good because it gives life meaning, wouldn't it follow that hurting people is good? 2 weeks ago:
The idea would be that the existence of suffering gives life meaning. By knowing that the risk of suffering is always there, we strive to avoid it and value our pleasures more because we can compare them to an unpleasant alternative.
How true “an existence without suffering would be meaningless” is open to debate, but there’s at least some day to day support. If you’ve ever been really hungry and demolished some fairly average meal while finding it delicious, or had the best glass of ice water after walking in the heat, you get that. And if we think of rich, entitled people, who appear to have no conception of how fortunate they are, instead getting upset about minor inconveniences, it gives you some indication of what life with less suffering might be like.
- Comment on People are praising this half-baked cryptocurrency based mix network as a "new internet" to fight against tech giants. 2 weeks ago:
I would like to put a quarter in this storywriters slot.
- Comment on Can you see magic eye pictures? 1 month ago:
I love them! Generally find that once you get one it’s a lot easier. I find that if I’ve not looked at one for a while, and 8k kit getting it, and I go back to the first one I got (some boxing kangaroos) and normally it just clicks again.
- Comment on How do you even find companies to work with ? 1 month ago:
You could try doing some searches for companies in your area that do the sort of work your interested. Most of them will have some public facing site for attracting customers or just for corporate image. Then you can normally find an email or social media details to get in touch and explain what you can offer.
And if the way you have to contact them is LinkedIn you might have to just suck it up. Almost no one who uses LinkedIn likes it. Like most things about employment, people just figure out how to give the right image for the industry they want to work in, and put on that professional front whenever they have to deal with the constant stream of bullshit. So if that means writing an upbeat “I think I could offer a lot of skills and passion to contribute to your organisation inspiring mission” type message to a 50yo self-centered ceo then, well, that’s how you get jobs sometimes.
- Comment on Yep, I actually own 7,255 games on Steam. I’ve played 23% of my library. I regret nothing. 1 month ago:
I’m older than you my friend, and it’s acurallt only something that I came to terms with in my 40s. When I was younger I did feel that pressure and expectation to complete stuff. Now I have no issue switching a movie off after an hour or stopping a book before the end. Life’s too short! And sure a story game I’m really enjoying, why wouldn’t i finish it? And play the sequel! But if I’ve played 100+ hours of skyrim without geting close to the end, and I don’t think it reduced my enjoyment. And if I’m getting bored of a metrovania I don’t see the point in grinding til it’s done.
- Comment on Yep, I actually own 7,255 games on Steam. I’ve played 23% of my library. I regret nothing. 1 month ago:
Nah, finishing games is overrated. By the time you’re halfway through a game, you’ve seen a lot of what it’s going to offer in terms of style and gameplay. For sure, you’ll miss some amazing stuff if you don’t get to the end, but it’s hard to believe you miss as much as the new other game you could have half-completed in the same time.
There are exceptions, and I defintely think completing at least a few games is important. But if I had the choice of only having fully played 20 games in my entire life, or 40 halfway, I’d defintely have learned more, experienced more and enjoyed myself more with the half-assed approach.
- Comment on [deleted] 1 month ago:
An Internet without privacy and encryption sounds awful. But one where it’s illegal to talk about politics and religion sounds pretty tempting at times…
- Comment on Cursed 1 month ago:
Bidwell, J. (1997)
- Comment on [deleted] 1 month ago:
Check if you’ve actually got a mild fungal infection, that’s often the cause. Or you’re allergic to something.
- Comment on is it normal to feel tired for weeks after running and doing yoga every day for almost 6 months? 2 months ago:
Are you having rest days? Rest and recovery are a pretty vital part of actually seeing any benefits from exercise. Especially since you’ve got a physically demanding job, your body might be crying out for some recovery time. If you really want to keep the habit of daily exercise, you could try splitting some of the activities out to alternating days, so you could still do some gentle yoga and stretching on ‘rest’ days, but only do the cardio and core on alternating days.
- Comment on [deleted] 2 months ago:
If its important to you, and you’re capable of having grown-up conversations as a couple, then there’re probably lots of ways to figure it out. Start by taking the pressure completely off by telling him that you understand that it makes him uncomfortable and you’d never want to pressure him into something he’s not fully consenting to (can you imagine if it was a 20F posting that her older boyfriend keeps trying to push her to have sex in a situation she feels uncomfortable in?)
Then try and find out what is actually the source of the issue for him, and if he wants to, work on that. If he deep down struggles to believe that your parents are cool with this guy banging their can’t-even-drink-in-a-bar* aged daughter then maybe your parents have to be more direct about giving their approval. I had a gf who’s parents had noisy sex when we were staying over and whose dad made super weird jokes like “we want her back in one piece <wink>” when we said goodnight. It was deeply awkward, but I certainly didn’t worry about them judging us for having sex.
Similarly, if it just makes him feel self-conscious and that doesn’t make him feel very sexy, maybe you can start doing (consensual) minor sex stuff during the day while he’s visiting. Or spend time during the day watching TV or chatting in your bedroom with the door shut. And once he’s confortable spending time in your bed and in private, and he sees that your parents don’t judge him even though you could have been having sex, it’ll be easier to accept an overnight. And tbh, when staying in someone else’s house it’s much easier it have sex during the day when people are busy and there’s noise from TVs and stuff, than at night when any noise feels very obvious.
But the main thing is to respect each other’s boundaries, and realise that some things take time.
- Comment on [deleted] 2 months ago:
Do you know what part is “too intimate”? Is it sleeping over in general, do you stay at his? Is it the awkwardness of your parents being around? Or, with intimate / all adults / private lives are you really talking about him not being comfortable having sex with his girlfriend in her parents house?
All of those are pretty normal, but can probably be resolved in different ways. E.g if he just likes his own space, maybe starting with a single night staying over makes more sense than a few days, and at the weekend so it’s not disrupting his schedule or whatever he worries about.
If it’s the sex one, I’d recommend a bit of empathy. Some people are really relaxed about sex and others are not. And as a guy, if I’m worrying about someone hearing us, how much noise the bed is making, etc it can be pretty hard to get in the mood and some guys can be worried about not being able ‘to perform’ especially when you’re both young and only been dating a short time. And it’s not as easily brushed aside as “don’t worry about it, they don’t care” once my mind is focused on what someone downstairs might be hearing and thinking, I’m not in the moment any more.
- Comment on Is flirting redundant? 2 months ago:
I don’t see flirting as very different from making friends. The two biggest differences would be speed and boundaries.
If I’m trying to make friends, I’d be mindful to not seem too keen and obvious, which is also generally good flirting advice, but sometimes you can be extremely obvious with flirting (the “nice boots, wanna fuck?” approach). I’m sure there are situations where saying “I want to be your friend!” is a good strategy but they’re pretty damn rare (and probably involve been on mdma).
When you’re building any relationship or connection, one of the necessary steps is breaching boundaries. By sharing personal information (whether it’s hobbies, or a personal tragedy) or making jokes or teasing (if appropriate and appreciated) helps move a relationship from “stranger” to “friend”, similarly eating together, inviting someone into your home, or physical contact all represent breaking down boundaries and closer and more personal relationships.
Different social groups have different ideas about appropriate behaviour at specific levels of relationship. I have social groups where being ‘cheeky’ and even outright mean to a new person is how they show they’re one of the gang. Similarly, there groups of people who can be lifelong friends, but still wouldn’t be comfortable hugging. For many people, flirting, especially if you’re aiming for a sexual relationship, often involves more physical boundary testing than with platonic friends (letting your hands touch, flicking dust off their clothes - and just FYI, if you’re not sure what you’re doing, it’s almost always better to let the other person be the first to initiate physical contact, especially if they’re a woman). But saying that, some straight guys I’ve known are very physical with male friends both with hugs and friendly punches, so it’s not a strict line.
- Comment on Why is the progress pride flag so poorly designed (especially the intersex progress pride flag)? Will it be redesigned? 2 months ago:
The original Pride flag was designed with eight colours, but quickly moved to six and seven stripes because of issues with sourcing dyes and mass production. As others have said, each colour did have a specific meaning like Sex, Life, Harmony, Art, Sunlight. These were aspects of the queer community, but they did not mean specific or narrow identities, and did not only describe ‘gay’ or ‘lesbian’ people.
In the words of Gilbert Baker (who designed the initial flag) “We needed something beautiful – something from us, and the rainbow is so perfect because it really fits our diversity in the sense of our race, our gender, all of those things.” Since then people have added specific colours and extra features to draw attention to identities that they felt were undervalued or overlooked, which is laudable goal, but not because the original did not include everyone.
You’re throwing around a lot of strong negative claims about the discussion here, if you really want to make a case that the meaning of original flag did not include queer people who were black or whatever, please bring some sources. And just to note, personally I actually like the chevrons of the Progress flag, but that doesn’t invalidate people claiming that the original flag included everyone.
- Comment on Why is the progress pride flag so poorly designed (especially the intersex progress pride flag)? Will it be redesigned? 2 months ago:
This gets my vote
- Comment on Instead of asking all my stupid questions separately, could I just get a ton of "How to Adult" type resources in the comments? 2 months ago:
Fully sympathise. People are giving general advice, and there’s good evidence that it works for most people. I have adhd, and even I know that multi-tasking is distracting and that if I can focus entirely on something I will perform better. But I also know from decades of daily experience that if I try and completely focus on something when my brain is not compliant, then I will do much much worse.
I will learn a lot more by listening to an audiobook while I do chores for an hour, even if sometimes the chores distract me from the content, compared with trying to read a book. Because if I sit and try and read, I will manage one minute, get up and get a drink, reread the same page, want some music to cover up some distracting noise, then rememeber that I’m avoiding distractions so turn the music off… And so on, until after ten minutes I’m only in page 2 and I give up in frustration, drained and demotivated.
As an ever more aged adult, I think the one piece advice I’d give my younger self is “trust yourself”. I’ve wasted so much time trying to follow advice and rules that just never worked for me, and eventually I realise that my instincts were right and I should have just improved my own strategies instead of trying to become something I’m not. That’s not to say you know everything already. Listen to people, try their ideas out, experiment and all that, but don’t feel pressure to do what works for “most people” if it doesn’t work for you.
- Comment on Why do websites now prefer IP-based geolocation rather than the `Accept-Language` HTTP header? 2 months ago:
You’re doing the Lord’s work. As someone who lives in a country where I can barely speak the language this is a constant frustration.
I also hate how hard it is to override location for other searches. I travel back and forth to my native country regularly, and so I’m often trying to search stuff or buy things for a different country than the one I’m literally in. If Google is so keen on making money from me, why can’t I tell it to do a Product search in a specific country, instead of forcing me to use a vpn to trick it?
- Comment on [deleted] 2 months ago:
This is something that I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about. I think there’s a danger to doomscrolling and upsetting yourself about things you can’t change, and it can be really unhealthy. But there’s also a real danger from turning away from the bad things that happen. And in my experience, the people who know least about the world, who “don’t follow politics”, etc are often the people responsible for the problems.
Although wallowing in tragedy doesn’t help anyone, being aware that bad things happen and doing what you can in real life to make the world a better place is important. But the moderation is important - getting upset doesn’t help anyone. So I try to limit my time with current affairs to specific times reading articles and reports, so I can learn about the world in a calm way. Rather than the drip drip anxiety provoking chaos of 24 hour news and social media.
- Comment on [deleted] 2 months ago:
Historically, people did exactly that and collected info in commonplace books.
Growing up back then I owned a lot of books (and borrow vastly more for friends and libraries). I had a couple of bookshelves in my room, but my family home had at least a dozen full sized bookshelfs. So although I didn’t have access to the infinite info of the modern Internet, I read a lot of much more specific non-fiction books. There’s a lot to be said about having a deeper and cohesive understanding of a subject, compared to reading a bunch of wiki articles and watching a few hours of YouTube on a topic (although I enjoy that too!)
- Comment on why do some people put a space before a question mark or exclamation point? 2 months ago:
For me, it’s that my keyboard sometimes autocorrects to French.
- Comment on what's the word for a leg elbow? 2 months ago:
Do you mean the popliteal?
- Comment on Catchiest video game song? 2 months ago:
This is one of the songs I hum to myself to get rid of more annoying earworms
- Comment on Is there a community dedicated for serious discussion? 3 months ago:
I don’t think crickets really means a lot when your commenting 1 hour after someone else…