confusedpuppy
@confusedpuppy@lemmy.dbzer0.com
- Comment on Dude read the rules of woman only community and decided to post anyway 1 week ago:
In a post with multiple people talking about how often men are inserting themselves in communities not meant for men, it would be nice to have some sort of supporting evidence to the to the claim that women are inserting themselves in men’s spaces.
A few words doesn’t really give context or support for such a claim.
- Comment on Dude read the rules of woman only community and decided to post anyway 1 week ago:
because that’s the default social perspective you seem to be implicitly reinforcing.
If I was quoted directly I might be able to understand what I am implicitly reinforcing. Otherwise this seems like a personal attack and a distraction from the conversation I laid out in my first comment.
However, people generally give shitty women and their crappy behavior a way larger pass than men for the same offensive actions. And that’s institutionalized in our laws.
There are many laws in the world that vary greatly from region to region, are we totally sure women have more freedom in comparison to men in the way they act? I would like to see support for such a claim. A claim that involves half the population.
and as for the authoritative voice… that’s just what people do. pulling rank is part of the social game way all play to push ourselves up over one another. ‘as an x’ can be anything. it’s a rhetorical device.
Being social is not a game. It’s a thing people and also a wide variety of other animals do. It’s done for a wide variety of reasons. There are people who dedicate their lives to observe other animals and understand the complexity of being social. It’s not fair to reduce 8 billion people to a single category from a single person’s social experience.
That sucks that people have to experience social moments as a constant struggle to push themselves over each other. It’s definitely not the only way to live. There are communities online and offline, past and present that are able to exist without constant conflict within their social circles or communities. It involves being open and willing to accept others just as they are. If someone does not want to be open or accepting, then of course they will be angry or miserable.
Personally, I’ve made efforts throughout all my life to distance myself from people who think being social is a game. Today I surround myself with people who caring and loving without the need to be dominant over each other. It’s possible with a lot of work and persistence. I could blame others for feeling miserable but then I would never ever be happy.
- Comment on Cloudflare Global Network experiencing issues 1 week ago:
I do want to write up a guide about how to setup Caddy + DeSec.io but I don’t have the time at the moment. If you have any questions, feel free to ask. I can try to help where I can.
I’ll leave you this previous post I made, you might find some additional information in there if you get stuck. lemmy.dbzer0.com/post/51117983
Also, someone suggested using a wildcard cert for the use of any sub-domain names. I chose to learn and use that because it helps obscure my services. If you have any interest in security, it might interest you. It terms of security, it’s not the absolute way to protect yourself, but I think it helps when combined with other security measures. If you read the comments in the post, you should get some more insight about it.
- Comment on Dude read the rules of woman only community and decided to post anyway 1 week ago:
women insert themselves into men’s spaces too.
Is this all there is to comment after I pointed out my observations about men dominating spaces? Should I have also pointed out how much more frequent it is for men to invade other people’s safe spaces and not other people invading men’s spaces?
why is it that you inherently value women over men?
Where did I say I inherently value women over men? I can appreciate others without putting others above me from a hierarchy perspective.
- Comment on Dude read the rules of woman only community and decided to post anyway 1 week ago:
I find it interesting how men regularly insert themselves into places or communities that are not designed for their specific label. I want to wonder what it is about women specifically that really makes men so uncomfortable about women having a place to discuss the world amongst themselves. But it doesn’t take long to see a common trend that appears which is a man is attempting to push their dominance over a situation.
Often times a comment begins with “As a man…” and it’s obvious the commenter is positioning themselves as an “authoritative” voice. Placing themselves higher than the women in a woman’s community. As if their words, experiences or perspectives hold more weight then the other people in this community not designed for men.
I often see this behaviour also within men’s communities such as Men’s Liberation. It confuses me greatly to see “As a man…” comments in the Men’s Liberation community because why do you need to declare your man status, in a men’s community, talking about men’s issues?? It seems to me it’s about placing their own thoughts, experiences and perspectives over the other, “lesser” men in the community. Often those comments ignore the message of the article or video while adding absolutely nothing additional to the conversation. They just stated they are men. That’s it.
The same men that argue against a segregated internet would not hesitate to join a men’s only community in real life or not. It’s not even a conscious effort for them to join a men’s only community. So when a community appears that doesn’t include them, I imagine it must feel insulting to be excluded this one time.
There’s over 8 billion people on this planet with over 8 billion different experiences, not everyone is going to relate to everything all the time. An individual’s experience is not universal. An individual’s experience does not give them authority over another groups experiences. Spending a life trying to dominate everything around yourself is an impossible task because there will always be people who will defy your authority. Nature in general doesn’t have a single fuck to give about one person’s dominance.
Good on the women who persist to exist in men dominant spaces. It’s a steep uphill battle. It’s an exhausting battle that seems never ending. I recently read how some of these women only communities operate behind the scenes and how they deal with certain issues. It showed how much effort they put into their community. I have an even greater appreciation for their existence now and I hope they continue to exist and grow.
- Comment on Cloudflare Global Network experiencing issues 1 week ago:
True.
My self-hosting strategy is wildly alternative and not one I speak much about publicly. I’m the only person connecting to my own domain so as long as I continue to practice shutting the fuck up, I can get away with using multiple layers of obscurity rather than fiddling with third party solutions.
I check my logs daily and the only activity I ever see is my own. Since I am not hosting anything critical or sensitive, I have the opportunity to experiment this way without much risk to myself.
The way I’m set up, I am not concerned with DDOS attacks because it would fail to get past the Dynamic DNS. If I were hosting a social media platform or something more public, then I would need to take stronger measures to protect myself and that data.
- Comment on Cloudflare Global Network experiencing issues 1 week ago:
Currently I’m using DeSec.io for my Dynamic DNS and
Caddyas my reverse proxy to automatically handle encryption certificates. It takes a little extra effort setting up a DeSec.io module with Caddy but since I got it working, it’s been essentially zero maintenance. - Comment on Cloudflare Global Network experiencing issues 1 week ago:
Even though I don’t host anything important, I’m still glad I found alternative ways to hosting my own stuff without the use of any of Cloudflare services.
I’ve noticed over time that the self-hosted communities have been suggesting Cloudflare Tunnels less and less since Trump and his gang took over America. Maybe this latest outage will push more people to not recommend Cloudflare again in the future.
I still remember when I first got into self-hosting and being mocked pretty hard for questioning the use of such a large centralized service like Cloudflare. I’m glad I persisted and kept learning in my own direction but that still was very demotivating at the time.
- Comment on Fedfree – Federation of Freedom 3 weeks ago:
Skimming through the site, this seems like a project that aligns to what I’ve been doing with my self-hosted server over the past year.
I tried to go big by hosting a lemmy/piefed instance but later turned to a very minimal setup where I can just share my thoughts and projects hosted on a Raspberry Pi 5 using Alpine Linux. I’ve also been learning POSIX scripting on my own to create my own tools and workflow instead of relying on bigger projects with excess features.
I’ll join the irc channel in the near future because I think I might be able to share some of the things I’ve learned over the past year of learning self-hosting.
- Comment on Self hosting Sunday! What's up, selfhosters?s 4 weeks ago:
I bought a second USB SSD which has now become the second backup SSD. I ended up skipping my switch to Podman because I got invested in writing another script.
I’m not interested in having my backup drives automatically decrypt and mount at startup but those were the only guides I could find. I still want to manually type my password and wanted an easier way handle that.
I ended up writing this script which turned the 4 lines of code I was using before into a 400+ line single file script.
Once I pair it with my rsync script, I’ll be able to remotely, automatically and interactively decrypt, mount, update my backup, unmount and re-encrypt my USB SSD. The script also has tests to make sure the mount directory is ready for use and not sending anything with rsync if the encrypted SSD is not mounted. I just finishes writing the script and now I have to integrate it into my systems.
I was originally going to add the second backup to my local-only network Pi server but I think I’ll add it to my web facing Pi server so I am able to access it remotely. I would feel a lot more comfortable knowing that data on there isn’t easily accessible because it’s not auto-mounting.
Other than that, things are boring and boring is good.
- Comment on Selfhosting Sunday - slrpnk edition 2 months ago:
I was planning on using weechat and the relay extension for a simple, all-in-one package. Currently I just use IRC for tech support, especially with Alpine linux.
Biboumi seems like a good idea if I wanted to set up a server and I’ll keep it bookmarked. I’m still back and forth about an IRC server so that idea has gone into the bonus category for now. I think Snikket would be a service that’s far more accessible and easier to share with the people I want using it.
I do like that it has xmpp support. I assume it would go well with Snikket.
- Comment on Selfhosting Sunday - slrpnk edition 2 months ago:
I’ve decided to stop using Podman for the moment since it was not allowing me internet to access my services. I’ll try again later when the motivation comes back.
Other than that, I’ve been slowly working on security, reliability and maintenance. For the moment I am happy with my device’s own security which I just finished last week. If I need extra securitybat this point, it will most likely be from a third party service but I don’t intend on having a known presence so I may get by just being unknown and obscure.
Ddclient on Alpine linux works very strangely so I made a script to check that it’s still updating my IP address and force restart it if necessary. Combined it with my targetted backups script to make the beginning of a maintenance script.
The last two steps are to setup an IRC client + IRC bouncer and a Snikket service and I’ll be happy. Anything I add after that is simply a bonus I can tinker with for fun but I’m looking forward writing for my blog without technical issues floating in the back of my mind.
- Comment on irl shiny 2 months ago:
I was staying at a hostel in Sydney and It was just me and English girl just chilling in the common area. It was sort of exposed to the outdoors since there was no doors, just an entrance. It just lead to the sheltered outdoor area but each dorm room had their own heavy door.
We both found out that day that the big roaches that roam there knew how to fly. Not well. Like it struggled to carry it’s own weight. We both had time to react and do something. We both just watched in horror as it flew right into her hair.
- Comment on I Tried Every Todo App and Ended Up With a .txt File 3 months ago:
I use Tasks.org android app on my phone’s home screen that displays Appointments with 3-days before, 1-day before and 8-hours before reminders, unscheduled To-Do tasks and Shopping/Grocery needs.
All other notes are kept using Termux where I can sync my notes with my computer using rsync.
It took me at least a year to get into the habit of using my notes and reminders like that but it’s worked great so far.
The only downside to my system is that if I lose my phone, all my appointments will disappear into the void. Win some, lose some. Fortunately I keep a simple life which reduces the chances of unwanted
human contactappointments. - Comment on Do people confuse your nationality? 5 months ago:
I was born in Canada and was essentially raised Canadian. Both my bio parents were born in Guyana. Go back in history and their relatives were from India. My stepdad is from a Scottish background.
In Canada I lived in a city with a noticeable Indian and Pakistani population. People there assume I am Indian.
When I travelled Europe, everyone assumed I was African, French or French Canadian. I can’t speak French. In Germany, people assumed I was German or Muslim. I know being Muslim isn’t a nationality but the Turkish people in Berlin would greet me all the time. While I was in Australia, I was just treated like I was exotic… Yeah… And in Cuba, people thought I was Cuban. Luckily I had a pasty white, Spanish speaking Californian guy with me for a short time to speak to the locals.
It’s such a trip what people assume about me. Even more trippy with the amount of people who thought I was a local when I was abroad in Europe, especially in Germany where I only had a year with a work/travel visa.
Even though I have no pride in being Canadian, that’s what I am. That’s the culture I was born in and raised up as. The people who ask “Where are you from? No, where are you really from?” Tend to be closed minded people who I actively avoid.
- Comment on Weekly “What are you playing” Thread || Week of April 6th 7 months ago:
I’ve finally figured out how to install frogcomposband in a docker container. It’s a fork of a game called Angband that’s played in a terminal window. Angband itself has a long history. Somewhere around 30 years if I remember correctly.
It’s setting is closer to lord of the rings but it has the insane complexity of a pen and paper, dungeons and dragons type game. A huge amount of races and classes to play and even the option to play an impressive amount of different monsters or enemies.
I think what I’m enjoying about it is that the graphics are just coloured numbers, letters and symbols. The playable character is just the @ symbol. It leaves room for the imagination to fill in the blanks which feels very calming.
When I was going through my Baldur’s Gate phase, I noticed my brain was in complete overdrive after playing a session. I think processing the crazy details in that game was too much for my brain.
Now when I shut off the game I’m not overwhelmed and I still get my role playing game fix. It’s nice.
- Comment on Setting up SSL for Lemmy over Cloudflare Tunnel using Nginx Proxy Manager 10 months ago:
My ISP blocks incoming data on ports 80 and 443. I also require a Dynanic DNS to handle my changing IP address. The only way I found to obtain a Let’s Encrypt certificate is through a DNS challenge in this situation.
I can definitely run without Cloudflare but I won’t have SSL which will affect federation.
- Submitted 10 months ago to selfhosting@slrpnk.net | 3 comments
- Comment on Questions on self-hosting Lemmy 11 months ago:
The modem/router also handles port forwarding which has been pretty common on all the modem/routers I’ve used in the past. Didn’t even register that as a concern haha.
That’s good to know the Pi can handle DynDNS as well. Would be nice to keep all that information contained to one device, simply for my sanity.
- Comment on Questions on self-hosting Lemmy 11 months ago:
I checked the router settings and there seems to be a setting specifically for Dynamic DNS Client. There’s three options included with DynDNS, NoIP and DtDNS. NoIP says it’s free so I will probably use that service.
I’m going to assume having that setting there is a good sign for me and what I want to do. Possibly reduce some potential headaches.
I’ll consider PieFed in the future as well. It does have some features and ideas overall that seem appealing to me. One thing at a time though.
- Comment on Questions on self-hosting Lemmy 11 months ago:
I do intend to buy appropriate storage when the time comes. It’s convenient to backup and restore an sd card image while I figure things out as I’m just starting out.
Would the public IP in this situation just be my home IP address? I’m assuming that the TLD provider would have an account settings page to set the IP reference?
Is there any recommendations for any additional security for a lemmy instance, or is it even necessary for a small scaled, social media site?
- Submitted 11 months ago to selfhosting@slrpnk.net | 11 comments
- Comment on The Hidden Grammatical Reason That ‘Weird’ Works 1 year ago:
It’s refreshing for me to see simpler, broader terms being used in discussions now about other people. This was something I began practicing for some time now as a response to the overwhelming number of labels that has shown up over time as the internet population increased.
Labels aren’t inherently bad or wrong, it’s obviously helped people find communities in an increasingly isolating world. It has however, based on my experiences and observations, created another situation where labels carry much more weight than they should in conversations and interactions. It’s very easy to box ourselves or other people into a strict definition of those labels. Humans are far too complex for such restrictions based on words.
I also feel that such a strict use of labels has created a war of labels. Instead of addressing differences or issues, it’s simpler to throw an accusative label and claim a moral superiority. Not only does this create no room for productive discussions, it also causes strong emotion responses which further breaks down discussions.
I do hope that “weird” carries it’s momentum forward beyond the word itself. That it pushes us towards speaking to each other using simpler, broader and descriptive language. It would create a more inclusive environment where people of varying levels on language knowledge are being included in the conversation and are able to participate in those conversations.
- Comment on Wasps 1 year ago:
My future allies for the future water wars kindly disagree :)
- Comment on Wasps 1 year ago:
I’ve never understood why people think wasps are so aggressive. At least where I live. They are curious like a bumblebee although slightly more persistent in hanging around.
If I am eating food, I leave a bit for them just within arms reach so they feast on that rather than what I’m eating.
They seem pretty chill if you’re willing to share your space and food with them.
- Comment on Indie games using retro graphics 1 year ago:
I’ve found myself lately a lot more interested in games that don’t focus heavily on graphics but instead allow other parts of the game to speak for itself. This allows for the imagination to fill in the gaps, as you mentioned.
I’ve been playing a lot or Caves of Qud recently. It’s a rogue-like game with tile graphics and colourful text. Somehow this menu simulator game has drawn me into it’s harsh and unforgiving world. The tile based graphics actually allows for an amazing amount of creative freedom both from the developer and player point of views. The developer has created this futuristic planet with mutants and cybernetics roaming the planet trying to survive. The player has the freedom to play as they like and create the most unique characters they can imagine. My current character has two hearts, a scorpion tail, a fanged beak, two dagger wielding claws and a habit for stabbing.
I think the rise of constantly better technology has inadvertently encouraged a focus on better graphics over other aspects of video games. While there are some absolutely beautiful games with higher hardware demand, I think as of late, I’m yearning for games that focus more on story or gameplay. Games where you can feel the developer’s passion. Games with polish and attention to details in the most unexpected ways. Games that attempt to push boundaries within certain limitations (think hardware or graphic styles for example).
I think what I want is a game that feels like I’m reading a fiction book in a way. What I mean is that when you read a work of fiction, your imagination is filling in all that visual information. A game can provide you more than just text, but if it can balance graphics, gameplay and story, it can really transport your imagination into that world. Your imagination can become immersed in this new world.
- Comment on Doing nothing is a mandatory biological function. 1 year ago:
I try to remind people that doing nothing is not a bad thing and something you can enjoy. Productivity can be quite addictive for some people. For others, it can be so ingrained into their mindset that they are driven by guilt to remain productive.
In a couple years from now when the sun finally decides to kill all life on earth for shit and giggles, all that progress and productivity won’t mean anything. I’d rather chill the fuck out and enjoy the nice views with the people I like around me and I only have one life to do that.